Goo Goo Dolls

3.12.16 // 7:21 am

i could never
be her
you never
about me
the way
you did
about her

was fascinated
by the same
i was
but she
could express it

at the world
in a way
different than i
and you
were fascinated
by that

I told you
we all
have our person
and i knew
she was
were mine

—  the things i could never tell you
Giving Up Forever


Here’s the song



“Gadreel, what brings you here?”

The angel sighed slightly. “Father, I have a request.”

“What’s that?”

“I… am in love with Y/N.”

Chuck laughed slightly. “Are you asking for my blessing upon the relationship? Because you know I already–”

“In order to remain with her, I…” Gadreel paused. “She deserves to be with someone like her.”

Chuck was quiet for a few moments, studying his son. The request he was making was huge. “Gadreel, are you sure?”

“Yes, Father.”

“You realize that there’s no returning, should things go wrong.”

“Things won’t go wrong, Father.”

Chuck nodded. “Very well. If you’ve thought this through and are sure.”


Chuck reached up and pressed his fingers to Gadreel’s forehead. “Farewell, my son. May nothing but the best find you.”


The Winchesters shared a look at the sound of knocking on the door. Grabbing their guns, they made their way to the door, you stepping carefully behind them, curious about who the visitor might be.

Dean silently counted to three on his fingers, making sure Sam was ready, before pulling the door open. You shook your head; what was the point of having a peephole if he wouldn’t peep through it?

“Gadreel?” Dean said, finding the angel before him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Please,” Gadreel said. “I know I am the last person you want to see, but–”

“Yeah, you’re damn right you’re the last person I want to see. I told you to leave and never come back. What you did…” Dean shook his head.

“I have tried to apologize for that.”

“Yeah, well, too little too late.” Dean began to shut the door.

“I am no longer an angel!”

Dean paused, glancing back at you and Sam. He peered out the door again. “You’re what?”

Gadreel sighed. “I have given up my grace, my wings. I… am human.”

“Yeah, right.”

“You do not believe me.”

“Belief partners with trust and I have none of that for you.”

“Dean.” Sam pulled his brother aside slightly, whispering something in his ear. Dean considered before nodding. Sam disappeared down the hall.

“Stay here,” Dean said. “I’ll come get you in a few minutes.”

Dean followed after Sam, leaving you standing there with the angel (ex-angel?).

As soon as you were sure he was gone, you reached forward and wrapped your arms around Gadreel. He was just as strong and soft and warm as you remembered; he still smelled like spice and sunshine, but… there was something different.

“Are you really not an angel anymore?”

Gadreel shook his head. “I had Father turn me into a human.”


“For you.”


Gadreel’s face was sad, unsure. “I love you, Y/N. You… you are Heaven to me. But I couldn’t … you deserve to have someone like you to be with you for the rest of your life. You deserve a human.” He paused. “This world is cold and broken and… terrifying. But when I am with you, I feel whole.” His eyes pleaded with you. “Please, Y/N. Please… accept me.”

You slowly reached down, taking Gadreel’s hand in yours. He had given up everything for you? He had given up an immortal, powerful life just to… just to stand there and hold your hand? To grow old with you? “Gadreel, I have always accepted you.”

At the sound of Dean’s approaching footsteps, you dropped your hand from Gadreel’s. “Okay, you two, this way.”

Dean led you into the bunker, heading for the library. Sam was standing at the table, watching anxiously as you crossed the threshold. Dean turned back, finding you and Gadreel behind him. “Huh.”

“What?” you asked.

Dean’s eyes and Sam’s eyes dropped to the floor. There, in the doorway, they’d painted a crude angel trap; you and, most importantly, Gadreel had passed right through it as if it were nothing more than paint.

Gadreel studied the sigils for a moment before looking up. “Do you believe me now, brothers Winchester?”

Sam and Dean shared a look. Sam shrugged, eyebrows raised; no angel had ever been able to get out of an angel trap. The proof was right there before their eyes.

“You no longer being an angel doesn’t mean I want to be around you,” Dean said.

“I am well aware that you are angry with me. I do not expect you to accept me immediately.”

“Well, don’t expect me to accept you ever.”

Gadreel’s face relayed a slight hurt, but he nodded. “I understand.”

“You’re not going to turn him away, are you?” you asked. “He’s human, Dean. He’s weak and pathetic and can’t take care of himself.”

Dean’s jaw was tight. He stood, frozen, staring at you for the longest time. Finally, he broke the spell. “I gotta go shoot something,” he said, stepping off down the hall.

Sam gave you a small nod before following his brother, leaving you and Gadreel alone.

You turned to the ex-angel. “Sorry I called you pathetic.”

Gadreel shook his head. “I do not mind.” He paused, brow creasing. “You… do not actually think of me like that, do you?”

You gave him a gentle smile. “No, Gadreel. Angel or not, you are magnificent and strong and… mine.”


You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Mine.”

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
And don’t it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are?You grew up way too fast
And now there’s nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won’t tell no one your name
And I won’t tell ‘em your name