i will be honest with you now: the experience i had completely shattered my once unwavering faith in god. probably for the better. but even though it happened years ago i still am actively hurt and affected by it, and i am picking up its pieces every day, and that is the nature of my healing, and my soul. goodnight loves, i should rest.

“God doesn’t love me”, is one of the toughest things I’ve heard from fellow believers. I’m not just talking about the fleeting thoughts that affect a large portion of the body of Christ but soon dissipate once the guilt of sin wears off. I’m talking about someone with full confidence that their Father has abandoned them and they’ve been permanently left out of His affections.
It breaks my heart, because I’ve been there. I was trapped in that lie of a mindset for ten years. My life was in complete shambles but the physical circumstances paled in comparison to the devastation of believing I’d never be accepted by God again, that He’d just thrown in the towel.
See, I grew up in a Baptist household and I was saved at a relatively young age. I was taught the “dos” and “do nots” of Christianity but I heard very little about the love of God. I knew Jesus as my Savior but that’s where my view of Him began and ended.
The enemy used the rejection I’d faced in my life involving my family, peers, and especially the church, to convince me that the opinion God held of me was no different. I couldn’t even use the word Father in prayer without feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. Guilt that I could degrade Him by assuming He would ever see me in that light again- if He ever truly had.
If anything in this post resonates with you, there’s something you need to know. God LOVES you. Yes, you! I don’t need a written record of all the terrible things you’ve done because it won’t convince God out of loving you.
The closer I get to Him, the more and more I realize how silly a concept it is that He could hate anyone. Don’t misunderstand me though. Your pain isn’t silly and it’s not something you can just “get over”. Anyone who says otherwise is in desperate need of a large dose of compassion. Your pain is legitimate and it didn’t just manifest out of thin air. It may have been caused by your circumstances, the rejection of other Christians, or just plain deceit from the enemy. Whatever the case, it’s there and it matters.
I can tell you that on the rare occasion I opened up to other Christians about those feelings, I was told I simply “cared too much.” The funny thing was though, God Himself was always full of compassion and He never once condemned me or told me to get over it.

Romans 5:10
For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.  

Even as Jesus was being crucified, He cried out to His Father for mercy on the behalf of His executors. He said, “Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do”. Do you realize how powerful a statement that was? If He had a right to hate anyone, it would be the people who were nailing Him to a cross. But He didn’t utter one word in condemnation or anger. The only words that came from His mouth were full of forgiveness and love.
Under the old covenant, there were hundreds of laws you had to follow in order to be fully justified in the sight of God. If you broke one, you broke them all, so it was humanly impossible to be righteous by your own merits. That’s why Jesus paid the penalty for sin, to offer humanity permanent salvation.
When you accept Him as your Savior, you’re instantly translated from the dominion of darkness (Satan’s family) into the kingdom of light. (God’s family)  You have a righteousness stronger than the one of the law, because it can’t be wrenched away from you. Your identity is now based on who Jesus is. He not only took your place on the cross but He gave you His, which means you have right standing with God. That standing can’t be altered by your own mistakes, because your salvation isn’t dependent on your works to begin with.
Look at that verse again from Romans. “For if, WHEN WE WERE ENEMIES, we were reconciled to God-” God still wanted you, even when you were His enemy! Why in the world would He discard His own child? He’s all knowing, which means even before your conception, He knew the things you would do.
If the problem stems from other Christians, I want you to know that their behavior is a reflection of THEM, not HIM. God is love and though Christians are meant to represent Him, they certainly don’t speak for Him. If they mistreated you, it’s because they didn’t know enough about their own identity in Christ. It’s not because He condoned the behavior.
There’s a lot of other things I could say about this particular topic but I’ll end the post with this. This isn’t something you can just grasp by sheer willpower. Someone telling you, “Hey, God loves you”, isn’t going to do a thing in the world. It’s the Holy Spirit who really brings revelation to the human heart.
I can tell you that for me, there were a lot of things interfering with my ability to see the truth. Simply reading scriptures did very little. There were things that God needed to remove from my life before I could finally comprehend what He was saying to me.
I promise that if you keep pressing into God, you WILL get your answer. You’re not going to have to try to believe. He’ll make it blatantly obvious to you and it’ll become so deeply rooted in your heart that the lies of the enemy will have no more power over you.

John 6:37
All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.

Isaiah 49:15-16
“Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.”

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 4:8
He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Aarvarks Ranked


Without knowing the context of his character Cerebus could probably be a 5/10 just for going with a pig-like look as opposed to the usual anteater aesthetic, but knowing the comic brings Cerebus down to a 1/10


Arthur is an average kid at school but as far as aardvarks go this is merely a Bear without a nose. He lacks the chaotic alignment and pure avarice of most aardvarks so is a messily 2/10 

Authur: Origin form

It would be easy to think Authur looked more like a real Aardvark back in the day, but really his appearance was clearly based more on a South American anteater. Archaic Aurthur only stands at a 4/10

Gilbert the Aardvark

Like Cerebus, Gilbert is tide to a story tangentially related to abrahamic faith and God, tho probably in a more positive manner. Gilbert actually physically resembles an irl Aardvark, but it’s too early to tell if he will embody the metaphysical aspects of them like others on this list, so he could be anywhere from 4 to 7/10

Blue Aardvark

While his strange elephant trunk mouth might be initially off putting. BlueAardvark truely embodies the soul of Aardvarks, his soul desire in life being to harm and consume the meek (ants). A solid 7.5/10

Dorothy Anne “D.W.” Read

DW is cursed to resemble the same creature that Author takes, but unlike her brother DW truely lives up the aardvark legacy. Tormentor of man, punisher of Aurthur, a being that can not be controlled and is only loyal to one thing in the world and that is herself. Her one weakness is that she is contained in her current form, and for that she is an 8/10

Cyril Sneer

Blue Aardvark is to cubism as Cyril Sneer is to abstract expressionism. Even more removed from the Aardvarks natural form and a near twisted characature of the creature. What Cyril lacks in physical representation he makes up for in raw emotional and psychological form, representing the Aardvarks untameable greed and power. Because of this Cyril is an 8.5/10

Mr. Fit

Extremely powerful, nearly unmatched in physical abilities and arrogance. Mr. Fit radiates vitality and makes one aware of your  sorrow, your weakness, the fact that life is but a game we all lose at at the end. 9/10 

Irl Aardvark

Like shadows dancing on a wall, humanity’s art is but a hollow reflection of truth and reality. Nothing our hands can craft can come close to the true form of the aardvark. Anytime depiction of their glory is a downgrade, an insult to the beast. We are but worms to their presence. Immeasurable /10

Verses for when you feel overwhelmed:

Becoming a Christian isn’t a get out of jail free card from the troubles of life. In fact, Jesus explicitly told us that we WOULD face tribulations, but in the same breath He also gave us some uplifting news- that He had overcome the world so we have nothing left to fear. (John 16:33)
Sometimes that doesn’t provide much consolation though, does it? You might have the head knowledge that yes, God is there but it doesn’t really give you a solution to the problem. You just want to stop stumbling through the darkness and reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
One thing that’s important to remember is that even when things are at their worst, as believers we can still have peace! I’m not talking about what the world describes as peace. That “peace” isn’t even a shadow of the God-given peace we have through Jesus Christ, the peace that surpasses all understanding. That peace comes when we’re completely relying on Him and not what we can do in ourselves. The Bible tells us to be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might. It says nothing about self sufficiency, because believe it or not, true freedom comes when we’re completely entangled in Christ.
It’s also vitally important that you make time to draw near to God, because He WILL draw near to you when you do. If you don’t immediately get results, be persistent. God isn’t a distant God. He desires an intimate relationship with all of His children so He’s not going to withhold himself.
Whatever you’re facing right now, remember that God loves you. I know it’s hard to keep walking forward when you can’t even see three feet in front of you but take heart, God knows exactly where you are and where you’re going. You will see the victory over this circumstance, because we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.

God is faithful:
Numbers 23:19
“God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”

Deuteronomy 7:9
Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments-

2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

Isaiah 55:11
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Peace in the storm:

Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 54:10
For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Psalm 29:11
The Lord will give strength to His people. The Lord will bless His people with peace.

Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

John 16:33
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Strength through Him:
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Ephesians 6:10-13
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Be Present

Psalm 139 states Gods nearness wherever we find ourselves. We know He isn’t confined to a church building or only available at certain times of day. But we can still miss God at work even when He is right in front of our eyes.

Why? Because we are still learning the art of knowing and following the voice of the Holy Spirit as He speaks. Two people hear the same song. One experiences God, and one daydreams about something that needs to be done at work next week. Two people face a crisis in life. One experiences an over-whelming sense of grace flood over the pain—after all, He is not just present but very present help in our time of trouble (see Psalm 46:1)—while the other feels nothing but hurt, betrayal, anger and loneliness. Why? It’s all about how and where we place our faith and expectation. By God’s grace, I have a growing revelation of the love of God toward me, so that even on the hardest of days I am expecting Him to turn it around.

If I can encourage you in one way today, it would be for you to cultivate your attitude of expectation so that you will be present in His presence. Don’t wait until you have things figured out. Don’t wait until you feel spiritual. Expect Him right now. King David said with much confidence in Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (NIV).

Each of us has had conversations with someone when we knew the other person wasn’t really there. Physically they were there. Words came out of their mouth. They looked in our direction, but we could just tell they weren’t present. It is so easy to get distracted and not fully be in the moment. Its an art to learn to STOP and experience God in the present. He is with us now. Emmanuel, God with us. All you have to do is be aware, whether you are driving in your car, shopping for groceries, reading a bedtime story to your child, waking up and putting the coffee on, or standing with other believers with arms stretched high, singing songs of praise and thanksgiving to our Lord and Savior. He is with us.

One enduring Christian devotional book is The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, a seventeenth-century Carmelite monk. It was this precious saint’s goal to do nothing out of selfishness, but to do everything out of love for God, whether working the soil or studying God’s Word. For him that meant realizing he was always in God’s presence and living every moment in that realization. His simple but profound teaching was “to form a habit of conversing with God continually, and referring all we do to Him.” So what if you do that and still don’t feel His presence? 

Brother Lawrence continues in his writings: “We must at first apply to Him with some diligence: but that after a little care, we should find His love inwardly excites us to it without any difficulty.”

Oh how I love this thought. It was early in my Christian experience that my attention and awareness of the presence of God became very real, that I was so aware that if I drew near to Him, He always would draw near to me. He hemmed me in, behind and before. Laid His hand upon me, gently, not heavy-handed. And my heart continues to be overwhelmed by the fact that the God who created the heavens and the earth actually is here and delights to draw near to me.

His presence defines us, sets us apart, strengthens us, penetrates our very being, gives direction to our pursuits, fuels our passions and brings joy and strength as we draw near.

James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (NKJV).
Take these scriptures into your day today and let His presence set your stance and direction.
Psalm 139: 7-9
Psalm 27: 14
James 4: 8

A few days ago, I heard someone talking about the distinction between sin-consciousness and son-consciousness. It just got me thinking that sometimes we don’t realize how powerful and debilitating shame can be when it comes to our relationship with God.
Sure, when we sin the purpose of conviction is to drive us to repentance but God doesn’t want us to stay in that state of guilt. If we’re constantly looking at ourselves and how we’ve missed it, the emphasis is no longer on Jesus and the sacrifice He made for us so that we could have the freedom we aren’t capable in ourselves of attaining.
It’s impossible to stand before Him with confidence if we’re constantly looking back. And if we’re not confident, it’s hard for us to draw close. See, the thing is, we’re told in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. There’s no added disclaimer where we have to also do this and that, or suffer through guilt for x number of days. As soon as we come to Him with a sincere heart and say, Father I messed up- please forgive me, He does.
When the devil attacks you with guilt and shame, He’s doing nothing more than showing you a picture of something that was already destroyed. God says He not only forgives our sins but BLOTS them out. (Isaiah 43:25) They don’t exist anymore and that being the case, there’s no valid reason why it should be interfering in your walk with Jesus.
Let’s be SON-conscious Christians and not let the devil sway us into the dangerous territory of sin-consciousness.

Relationships tend to fluctuate over time. Your best friend from middle school might have adopted an entirely new group of friends, gradually pushing you out into the cold. Maybe the same thing happened with the girl you thought of as a sister, once she found the guy she believed was her “happily ever after”. Or maybe it was even a parent, who was so immersed in their work that you were largely ignored for the sake of the almighty dollar. It may have happened to you so many times that it’s caused you to subconsciously draw parallels between those broken relationships and the relationship you have with God. You begin to wonder what will be the tipping point where He finally decides, “I’ve had enough”.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want to encourage you in the fact that God loves you. Yes, you!  I don’t care what label you place on yourself, whether it’s Christian, Atheist, Agnostic, Backslider, Wiccan, Liberal, Conservative, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, Satanist or any other name under the sun.  God loves you so much that He was manifested on the Earth as Jesus so that He could deliver you from all forms of bondage.

John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

John 1:14 “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”

Matthew 1:23 “‘Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,’ which is translated, 'God with us.’”

I’m sure you’ve heard it all before but for you the question remains, “Will His love eventually fade if I fail?”  How can we be sure it won’t?  Because He promised to never change.

Malachi 3:6 “For I am the Lord, I do not change; Therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob.”

Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

He loved you when you were at your lowest. He’s omniscient, so He knew even the worst sin that you contemplated doing, but He had a plan to bless you anyway!

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God’s love toward you does not have strings attached. He doesn’t have the human mindset of, “If you don’t misbehave, THEN I’ll always love you.”  No, His love is unconditional and unfailing- no matter how far you fall.  No matter how close you were to Him and how far you’ve run from Him, His love remains the same.  Jesus loves you.  Jesus loves you.  Jesus loves you!

Hosea 6:6 “For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, And the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.”

If you were on the path of righteousness and you tripped, fell on the ground and couldn’t get up, then I want you to know God doesn’t mock you.  He just reaches out His hands for you to take, because not only did He start your faith but He will finish it too!

Hebrews 12:2 “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

John 6:37 “All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.”

There is no sin that you’ve committed that would disgust God so much that He wouldn’t forgive you. His Word declares that if we go to Him with a sincere and repentant heart, He’ll wash our sins away as if they never even existed.  We are a new creation in Jesus Christ! We are the righteousness of God in Him by His mercy.

Acts 3:19 “Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,”

Hebrews 8:12 “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

2 Corinthians 5:21 “For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

He will never turn His back on you. His love will never go up or down based off your “job performance”.  For God is love!

1 John 4:16 “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”

I hope this was helpful to you! If you’re still struggling with worries regarding God’s love, then feel free to message us.  And if you’ve never known God and have a desire to, then rest assured all you have to do is believe Him and you’ll be born again.

Acts 16:31 “So they said, 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.’”

Romans 10:9 “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”