Goblet-of-fire

[Image: tweet by Titanium Cranium (@FelicityTC) including three screenshots of a Harry potter book in three different formats on Amazon. Text:

“Harry Potter on Amazon -

Print: $6.39
Audio: $44.99
Braille: $100.00

#CripTax”]

minerva mcgonagall is sitting and watching the first triwizard task when fred nudges her

“hey professor,” he says. “these events sure do drag on, huh?”

“weasley,” she says. “you’re banned from the next two events.”

at the next one, she is waiting in the stands when george walks past.

“hey professor,” he says. “i wish i could sea what’s going on.”

“you are also banned” she says

at the last one, she finds herself sitting alone when she hears a voice from beneath her

“wow,” it says. “this sure is a-maze-ing”

she looks down. ginny weasley is grinning up at her.

  • Draco: a little higher
  • Crabbe: i'm trying but-
  • Draco: HIGHER!
  • Crabbe: your shoe is digging into my palm!
  • Goyle: yeah, Draco, *struggles* you're a lot heavier than you used to be
  • Draco: *pauses and looks down, offended*
  • Draco: hang on. are you two calling me fat?
  • Crabbe: wha-
  • Goyle: course not! we just-
  • Theo: he's coming!
  • Draco: shit!! never mind. we'll talk about this later. get me up into the tree! hurry!
  • Draco: *gets situated in time to play it cool*
  • Harry:
  • Draco: WHY SO TENSE, POTTER?!
  • Harry:
  • Draco: >:(
  • Harry:
  • Draco: my father and i have a bet, you see...
  • Harry:
  • Draco: i don't think you're gonna last ten minutes in this tournament
  • Harry: *finally acknowledges Draco*
  • Draco: :D !
  • Harry: ...
  • Draco: *flirty ferret jumps down from the tree*
  • Draco: he disagrees. he thinks you won't last five!
  • Harry: i don't give a DAMN what your father thinks, Malfoy!
  • Draco: :O ????? wait.
  • Harry: he's vile, and cruel... and you're just pathetic.
  • Draco: pathetic?!
  • Harry: *walks away*
  • Draco: :( ?
  • Blaise: damn, dude
  • Pansy: well... there's always next time...
  • Draco: shut up! this is your fault!
  • Pansy: MY FAULT?!
  • Draco: YOU SAID IF I WOULD JUST ADMIT THAT I'M ACTUALLY ROOTING FOR HIM-
  • Pansy: TEN MINUTES, DRACO???
  • Draco: I FLAT OUT TOLD HIM TO HIS STUPID FACE HOW I BELIEVED IN HIM DOUBLE THE AMOUNT THAT MY FATHER WAGERED!!! WHAT MORE COULD HE POSSIBLY WANT FROM ME??? IT ISN'T MY FAULT HIS SKULL HAPPENS TO BE THICKER THAN HIS ARSE!!!
  • Crabbe: woah, what
  • Goyle: what
  • Theo: hold on
  • Blaise: back up
  • Moody: wtf lol
  • McGonagall: wasn't here. didn't hear anything.
  • Harry: wait, what
  • Draco: what