5 Times Pie Would Have Saved the Day in Classic Literature

It is a truth universally acknowledged that pie is beautiful and delicious, and classic novels are full of characters gritting through their complicated, difficult lives. But what if these characters had a heartwarming slice of pie? Things could have been very different…

1. Captain Ahab. Was ever a man more in need of a slice of coconut cream pie? Like the giant whale Moby Dick, coconut cream pie is large and white, but far less likely to induce unholy fury and a life-shattering revenge spree. Plus, Ahab would have to sail to some beautiful tropic isle to obtain the requisite coconuts, and a balmy tropic vacation could only do good things for his chilly temper.

2. Scarlett O’Hara. This feisty Southern belle has demonstrated time and again that she won’t give her heart away easily. The only solution to her inevitable loneliness is a cherry pie as bold, classic, and all-American as Scarlett herself.

3. Dorian Gray. Rich, dreamy, and devilishly smooth. Are we describing Dorian Gray or a chocolate silk pie? You don’t know, and that’s why they’re the perfect match. Perhaps if Dorian had been able to channel the passions of his youth into eating chocolate pies, he wouldn’t have turned out as dark and bitter as a Ghiradelli 86% cacao bar. Just sayin’.

4. Miss Havisham. Jilted at the altar. Left alone with her misery in a rotting home. Surrounded for years by reminders of her thwarted romance. This woman needs some SUNSHINE in her life, for goodness’ sake! No pie is better suited to the task than a cheery lemon meringue. Its pillowy meringue, sunny yellow curd, and buttery crust are enough to make anyone clear out the cobwebs and start spring cleaning.

5. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Look, man. We know you tried. But heading into a proposal with the general game plan of “Insult family, point out her inferiority, bring up class difference, overwhelm her with ardent love” was a pretty poor strategy, all things considered. Imagine how things might have gone over with Elizabeth B. if you had shown up, casually, with a steaming rhubarb pie. You could have told her her that the bold tartness of the rhubarb reminds you of her stinging wit, but that you believe she could also be subtly sweet. Things could have gone so much better for you, Darcy.

But, since you botched the first proposal attempt, maybe you should go practice swimming in the lake at Pemberley. Don’t ask us why.

You Think Poor Is Cool

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day 2003, but your boyfriend, Gerard, is so busy with one of My Chemical Romance’s first ever tours that you’re not sure he even remembers what day it is. Then, suddenly, he tells the band’s manager to stop the bus. 

“Honestly,” Frank confessed, looking at you and Gerard cuddling in the back of the cramped van, “I’m not sure why you decided to follow a bunch of gross, sweaty dudes like us on tour, Y/N.”

“Because I love Gerard,” you shrugged, kissing the top of your boyfriend’s head affectionately.

“Hey, Brian!” Gerard sat up suddenly, shouting to the band’s manager, who was driving the van. “I need you stop at that gas station up ahead, alright?”

“For real, Gerard?” Brian sighed. “We’ve got to get on the highway real soon if you want to be the opening act at this show in Newark tonight.”

“I know,” Gerard pouted. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

“You wanting to buy cigarettes or something?” Frank guessed. “Because I’ve still got a pack of Pall Malls in my guitar case.”

“You said last night you were out!” Mikey interjected.

“I was hiding ‘em so you wouldn’t steal ‘em,” Frank snickered.

“I’m not stopping for cigarettes,” Gerard shook his head, shaking black bangs out of his eyes.

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FN Nicknames

Geoffrey Zakarian 

  • Hipster Grandpa
  • grouchy zakarian

Bobby Flay

  • the ginger demon 
  • Bobert Flavorless 
  • Floppy Bay
  • Robert Flavor
  • Booby Flay

Alex Guarnaschelli

  • Alex Tortellini 
  • alex ghiradelli 
  • Alex guara-slayi

Aaron Sanchez 

  • Spicy boi
  • too hot for you

Ted Allen 

  • Lil baby teddy bear
  • rainbow child

Amanda Freitag

  • Amanda “be my girl” friendtag 
  • the light of my life

Guy Fieri

  • fire chia 
  • the girl on fire

Scott Conant

  • onion boy
  • Scoff Conant

Robert Irvine

  • leg day

Self care is not a bath bomb
Nor is it a face mask
Nor a sweet-smelling lotion
Nor a cup of herbal tea

Self care is bathing because you lost count of how many days it’s been since you were clean

Self care is catching up on three days of work because you don’t know where your brain went from Wednesday through Friday

Self care is doing laundry when you can’t remember what’s clean and what’s dirty from the massive pile on the floor

Self care is exercising because it’s the only anti-depressant you have

Self care is letting yourself cry for the first time in months when you’ve wanted to almost every day

Self care is making yourself dinner when you’ve gone all day without eating

Self care is taking a deep breath and sorting through what you need to do

It doesn’t come from bath and body works or Lush or Ghiradelli

It isn’t cutesy or fun
It’s relief
It’s responsibility

—  because the world doesn’t stop for a warm bath and a good book
The Strength of Two

Summary: Courage comes at a cost.

Pairing: Soul/Maka

Rating: T

Tags: Angst, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Humor

Word Count: 1,600

Available on Ao3. Special thanks to @skadventuretime for being a lovely beta~

If you ask Soul Evans if he has any superpowers, he would say for certain that he does. But he won’t tell you about how he can turn into a literal fucking scythe, nor about the way he is able to command the rhythm of a fight with an improvised melody from the piano in his mind. While he might cite his cool-kid aesthetic as being ‘super,’ if you ask him in earnest, he will tell you that his power is being able to read his meister like she reads Austen.

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Traditional Artist Problems

-”Do you draw anime, your character’s eyes are so big” *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
-1,000 songs on my playlist and nothing to listen to
-”Don’t interrupt the artists, Chloe” “Why momma” “They hate being talked to when they don’t have 5 cups of coffee in their system”
-*Windows suddenly open, Sun shows into room* *HISSES INTENSELY FROM UNDER BLANKETS*
-”Whatcha drawin’?” *Nosferatu turn* “Why do you need to know”
-*Draws at 4:00 in the morning*
-*Pencil breaks* “Here lies our fallen brethren, forever gone, taken down by the cruelty of this world”
-*Uses Charcoal* “WHY ARE YOUR HANDS SO DARK” “I have slain the many soldiers of the darkness….”

cass-ian  asked:

Favorite candy: Chocolate; favorite song: Disloyal Order of Water Buffalo by Fall Out Boy; favorite book: ACOMAF (whoops); random word: pumpkin pie

Dude, chocolate is the best. Chocolate runs through my blood (I’m Ghiradelli is literally the best). 💕

Pumpkin Pie

Rhys nearly dropped his fork. “You’ve really never eaten pumpkin pie?”

Feyre’s own fork was halfway to her mouth. She snapped her mouth shut. “Should I have?”

Cassian snorted.

Feyre set her fork down, ignoring Rhys’s horrified stare. She raised an eyebrow.

Azriel cleared his throat and delicately wiped his mouth with the napkin. “Rhysand has a bit of an obsession with pumpkin pie. He pays a great deal of money for the Autumn Court to ship pumpkins to him once a month.”

Feyre turned to Rhys. “How did I not know this?”

Rhys was still gaping at her, his mouth hanging open and reminding Feyre of a fish.

She twisted her mouth to the side. “Isn’t pumpkin a squash?”

Mor nodded wordlessly, keeping a wary eye on her cousin.

“I’ve never particularly liked squash. I can’t imagine eating it in a pie.”

Rhys finally snapped out of his trance. He stood up very calmly, his Inner Circle watching him carefully. And in a second, he was gone, swallowed by the air around him.

Before they could say another word, he’d reappeared, and was eagerly setting a small slice of pumpkin pie, complete with whipped cream on top, before his wife.

Feyre wrinkled her nose. “How can I eat anything orange?”

“Don’t think of it as being orange,” the High Lord said, kneeling beside her chair to the curious and amused eyes of his friends. “Think of it as being rich and golden and–”

The High Lady cut him off with a hand. “I get it. I’ll try it.”

She picked up a fork and cut into the pie, pursing her lips with doubt before taking a bite. Rhys watched her closely as she chewed thoughtfully.

She swallowed carefully. “I think I like it.”

The Inner Circle laughed as Rhys blew out a sigh of relief. “Thank the Mother. I would have had to divorce you if you didn’t like it.”

Feyre laughed. “Where did you get it anyway?”

At that precise, convenient moment, the very esteemed cook of their household burst into the room, covered in flour, and bright red in that face. “I don’t care if you’re the High Lord!” she yelled at him. “Come into my kitchen again and you’ll be in the next pie I cook!”

SURPRISE!! You've been eating vegan food!!

Popular store foods that are actually vegan:
Newmans light and Kraft creamy italian dressing
Jello pudding
Duncan Hines frosting and cake
Pillsbury crescent rolls
Ritz crackers
Doritos spicy chili
Sarah Lee apple pie
SuperPretzel soft pretzel
Hersheys chocolate syrup
Nabisco gram crackers
Thomas New York style bagels
Teddy Grams chocolate chip
Ghiradelli double chocolate brownie mix
Mission Foods taco shells
Aunt Jemima Pancake/Waffle Mix
Healthy Choice Asian Potstickers
Luigi’s Real Italian Ice
Smucker’s Uncrustables
Lays Kettle Cooked chips

Blow Pops
Cry Baby
Dum Dums
Hubba Bubba
Jolly Rancher
Now and Later
Sour Patch
Swedish Fish

You have NO REASON AT ALL to say “vegan food is gross and weird” because I bet my butt most of yall out there eat oreos, Hersheys syrup and Smuckers uncrustables and Kool-aid and LOOK AT ALL THE CANDY.

The best thing I’ve done for myself this week is buy a bag of Ghiradelli to leave at the office. I keep forgetting about it until I walk in, and then it just makes my entire day so thanks me :)


Clara Cakes is getting into the holiday spirit and bringing us an easy peasy recipe for her Vegan Casual Peppermint Patties. The combination of sweet creamy chocolate and refreshing mint will totally impress your friends and family at your next holiday party. And yes, you will be making these for your next party… because they take less than an hour to make! Turn on your holiday tunes and let’s get this holiday dessert making party started.

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Kuroshitsuji Cookbook:

  • Title: Double Chocolate Stout Mousse Cake
  • Episode/Chapter: That Butler, The Busiest [Ep. n/a, Chp. 5]


  • Yield: one 9-inch cake, serves 12
  • There are multiple kuro entries for each recipe in the anime/manga. Check out my ‘kuroshitsuji cookbook’ tag for more.
  • Image and recipe source are the same.


The cake batter portion of this recipe makes a little more than a standard 9-inch cake pan can hold, so I suggest employing the use of a spring-form pan with tall sides -at least 9x3-inch. Or, you can divide the batter between two standard 9-inch cake pans and stack both layers on the bottom. The cake layers will need to be leveled with a serrated knife so the mousse can lay flat on top.


Chocolate stout mousse

  • ¼ oz. package of powdered gelatin (about 2 tsp.)
  • 2 tbsp. double chocolate stout
  • 3 egg yolks
  • ½ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup milk
  • ¼ cup chocolate stout
  • 8 oz. white chocolate, chopped (Ghiradelli recommended)
  • 1 ½ cups whipping cream.

Chocolate stout cake

  • 1 cup double chocolate stout
  • 1 cup unsalted butter
  • ¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups sugar
  • ½ tbsp. baking soda
  • ¾ tsp. salt
  • 2 eggs
  • ½ cup plus 2 tbsp. sour cream

Chocolate frosting:

  • 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 4 cups powdered sugar
  • ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
  • 2 tablespoons double chocolate stout
  • Milk or cream, optional
  • Chocolate jimmies


Chocolate stout mousse

  • Sprinkle gelatin over 2 tablespoons stout in a small saucepan.  Let stand for 1 minute.  Whisk in egg yolks and sugar.  Whisk in milk and ¼ cup chocolate stout. Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly.  Mixture will thicken after 5 minutes or so.  When done, it should be thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.  Stir in chopped white chocolate and blend until chocolate has melted and mixture is well combined. Let cool.
  • Whip cream until stiff peaks form.  Gently fold whipped chocolate mixture into the whipped cream. Pour into prepared spring-form pan and smooth the top with a rubber spatula.  Place in freezer for a few hours or until mousse is frozen solid.

Chocolate stout cake

  • Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease and line a 9x3-inch spring-form pan with parchment.  Be sure to use a pan with deep edges, this recipe makes slightly more batter than one standard pan can hold.  Combine stout and butter in a large saucepan. Sift in cocoa powder and whisk to combine. Let cool slightly.
  • Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in a large bowl to blend; set aside.
  • Whisk eggs and sour cream into the cocoa/stout mixture.  Pour in flour and mix with an electric hand mixer until well combined.  Mixture will be thick.  Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 35-45 minutes, or until a toothpick tester comes out clean.  Let cake cool in pan for 10 minutes then turn out and let cool completely on a wire rack.  Level top with a serrated knife or cake leveler.
  • When stout cake is completely cooled, remove frozen mousse from freezer and run a knife around the top edge.  Run a dish towel under hot water and wring out slightly; press hot towel around the edge of the pan for 1 minute so mousse will release easily.  Remove spring-form collar. Turn frozen mousse out onto the top of the stout cake.  Refrigerate until ready to frost.

 Chocolate frosting:

  • Combine butter, confectioners’ sugar and 2 tablespoons cocoa in the bowl of a stand mixer.  Beat on low until just combined, and then add chocolate stout. Beat until light and fluffy.  If mixture is too thick to spread, add milk or cream 1 tablespoon at a time until consistency is reached.  Frosting should be a pale chocolate color.
  • Remove 1/3 portion of frosting from the bowl and coat the top of the cake.  Beat additional ¼ cup of cocoa into the remaining frosting until a consistent dark cocoa color is achieved.  Beat in milk or cream 1 tablespoon at a time if mixture is too thick to spread or pipe.  Transfer half the chocolate icing to a piping bag fitted with a large star tip. Frost the sides of the cake with the remaining frosting. Pipe stars around to top and bottom edge of the cake.  Sprinkle with chocolate jimmies.  
  • Keep cake refrigerated. Serve slices cold or at room temperature.