I also don’t have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you’re screwed. Bad people are punished by society’s laws, and good people are punished by Murphy’s Law. So you see my dilemma.
And I realized you could like something and not like it at the same time. Not like loving unconditionally; that’s an act of desperation. This was different, like respecting somebody for being a mess because you’re a mess too.
You should get close to everything you care about. Things come and go. People come and go. And maybe some of us learn to stop caring about it, but I keep reaching out even though my hand keeps getting slapped away. When my sister was little, she use to close her eyes every time she wanted to hide. She thought that made her disappear. When you get older, you learn that closing your eyes just makes it darker. You have to face everything, even death, if you want to grow up.