Day: 1676 Shirt: Chk Chk Chk - !!! Color: Baby Blue Brand: Fruit Of The Loom Heavy Source: Bands that you like that are from your hometown, but only materialize after you get the fuck out of there. i coulda had Chk Chk Chk, but instead i got Cake, and Deftones. the Later i can deal with but the former (Cake) i coulda done without.
Reblog if you think that all performing artists should advocate for and provide full accessibility for the Deaf/HoH/Deafblind at their concerts and festivals (hiring interpreters, making room in their budget for accessibility plans, etc.)
I’m trying to prove a point to an idiot in my history class who thinks that D/HoH people can’t attend concerts, and that most artists shouldn’t have to provide access to the Deaf community
Her superpower is called The Jauregui Effect. She can make pussies wet to prevent global warming, and ovaries explode to curb the problem of overpopulation. She turns girls gay just by looking at them, and makes girls turn religious just by blinking or breathing. She can also make people lose their train of thoughts, or sometimes lose the ability to speak, that way, it gives her time to talk about politics and feminism and social issues without any interruptions. When she does The Wobble, even Michelle Obama turns into a big puddle of jauregay, as she hugs Lauren from behind, mumbling “Daddy” over and over again, and she’s not talking about Barack.
Lauren Jauregui’s powers lie on her green eyes, messy hair, cute front teeth, adorable double chin, and big Cuban booty. Like Superman, she gets her strength from the sun. She eats everything you put in front of her, but her favorite comfort food is something she likes to call “Camzzi”. It’s supposed to be a Cuban delicacy, but we are not sure what kind of dish it really is.
Alter ego: Lern Jergi
Lauren’s relationship status: “separately single”
Her pet peeves: making assumptions, airport security, grammatical errors, Donald Trump.
Her arch-nemeses are a band of villains who live in a separate bus and like to call themselves Go So Low with three main members: Rogeroo Pooperoo (this reptilian leader of the gang can manipulate and control people’s minds), Seen-You (she has x-ray vision), Ale The Hot Tamale (he can turn you into a lizard just by eye contact). Some would say that they have a Jr. GSL member in training, called Askme D'you Know? (she can hypnotize you to follow her around using her guitar skills. Thought to be a descendant of The Pied Piper).
Lauren Jauregui has one phobia though. She’s scared of boats because one time she was on a cruise ship called Camren and it was raided by delusional pirates and she almost choked to death by the amount of bras thrown at her. But another superhero saved her and soon became her special friend. Her name is Lu—
But that’s another story, kids.
Stay tuned for the next episode of “Know Your Problematic Superhero!” (Only if you want another episode 😂😂)
(As always, I’m a troll, so please don’t be butthurt. This is just satire. The members of Go So Low are fictional characters and in no way reflect real life shit. Lol. 😉)