• Sirius: alright so this is what we gonna do. i'm gonna jump on this roof ok? and then i'll get ready for you to land and from there we just gonna have to make a human ladder so we can reach this other roof and slide down on the side of the wall until we're safe and sound on the ground
  • James: ...
  • James: accio broom
  • Sirius: or we can do that

Me: *has deep thoughts and posts about them*

Dumb person: “Haha you’re probably an INFJ.”

Me: “No I’m not. I’m an ISFJ.”

Dumb person: “Hahaha if you’re an ISFJ then why aren’t you making cookies.”

Me: “Okay” *poisons cookies* “Here”

Dumb person: “Hahaha these cookies weren’t here on time you’re an ISFP.”

Me: “K.”

Dumb person: “Haha so like what’s in them?”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Love.”

Dumb person: “See you’re not an ISFJ!! They can’t use sarcasm!! Love?! You’re an INFP.”

Dumb person: *eats cookie* *chokes*

Dumb person: dying words: “… You’re actually an INTJ… because you’re evil…”

When your mom uses the ‘Because you always on that damn phone’ excuse for every complaint you have.

‘My stomach hurts’
'Because you always on that damn phone’

'This bread is stale’
'Because you always on that damn phone’

'Trump looks like a cheeto’
'Because you always on that damn phone’

anonymous asked:

Except Peter Parker has a mom, his aunt may. Who is the one raising him by herself. But sure, let's give the credit to the rich white guy. You stupid idiot.

Oh!! Wow! My first hate mail!!! Hey!! Hey dude!!! Shut the fuck up!!! and stop whining!! Or I’m going to get my DAD Tony stark, who has l i t e r a l l y given birth to Peter Parker ALL ON HIS OWN,, on ur ass!!! Watch it!!! You don’t want to upset MY ACTUAL DAD TONY STARK!!