This is for destieldrabblesdaily and the people wanting the plot “I only wanted a one night stand but now I’m eating breakfast with your family.” ao3
Castiel was drunk. That fact needs to be on the record. None of this would have happened if he’d been sober.
It was Balthazar’s fault, really. He had suggested they go to the bar just off campus instead of the usual fraternity party. He said they needed to broaden their horizons, or some equally clichéd bullshit. Castiel knew how to handle frat parties: nurse one beer that’s carefully guarded, make fun of the brainless jocks with some dry wit so that they never know they’ve been made into fools, and then when Balthazar starts singing Jerusalem or God Save the Queen Castiel can drag his roommate back to their dorm. The bar scene, however, was way out of Castiel’s comfort range.
Right from the start it was different. Instead of the frat collection of dance and techno pop, the music here was old rock with some country and metal thrown in. There was a crowd, yes, but not the same drunken mass of not-quite teenagers. There were college students but also middle aged adults and a few that definitely ordered from the 55+ menu at restaurants. And getting a drink was more complicated than just grabbing a red plastic cup filled with beer.
“Isn’t this great, Cassie?” Balthazar said as he poured the bottle of wine he ordered into two glasses.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge joined the Queen on the last stop of her Diamond Jubilee UK tour in Nottingham. 35,000 people lined the streets to try to catch a glimpse of the Royal Family. They appeared at the balcony of Council House, where they joined the crowds in a very loud rendition of “God Save the Queen” before retreating for a reception inside. Margaret Handley, who is the mayor of Broxtowe, met William and was very impressed by his wit and charm. She described a story of someone who told him “You look taller in person!” and William replied: “I’m not wearing my high heels today.” The Royal party then moved to Vernon Park, where the Queen inagurated a Playing Field which has been a huge legacy from her Diamond Jubilee throughout the country. Prince William then made a touching speech praising his grandmother, before they all sat down to watch several children compete in athletics.
10. Can belch the tune to “My Country ‘Tis of Thee,” but can’t do it to “God Save the Queen.”
9. He asks if you want to polish the royal scepter.
8. When you refer to him as “Your Highness,” he pulls out a joint.
7. You find out he dated his cousin, but he's really embarrassed about it.
6. He complains about not being able to find the smush room… In his own castle!
5. He eats his carnitas fries with a salad fork.
4. He refers to his ongoing relationship with Kourtney Kardashian.
3. When one refers to him as “Harry,” he turns to the producers and says, “I think she’s talking to you.”
2. He doesn’t know what it sounds like when doves cry.
1. He’s on a reality show.
Imagine the Midfords inviting Ciel and his servants to a patriotic get-together. They’re all going to sing “God Save the Queen.” So Ciel orders everyone to perfect the song.
When they arrive and start singing, to everyone’s horror, Ciel’s bunch are there going MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY! And that’s how Ciel learned to never trust Bard with giving the servants singing lessons again.