“Have you ever been tortured?
Suffered pain applied by men who saw you as less than a man? Saw you as an animal? ‘Cause it isn’t actually the pain they’re inflicting that’s the most frightening part of it. It isn’t the fear of future pain. It’s the knowledge that even when the pain stops, even if they were to let you go, that they’ve changed you. That pain, that fear, that despair has made you someone else, someone you barely recognize. Against your will. I said what I had to say to get out of that place, but I have no intention of honoring their offer. Ten pardons? I would fight to the death to ensure not a single one of my brothers ever has to face what I faced. Now, if there’s a man on this crew that feels differently, that feels as though he’d be willing to accept another brother suffering that fate so that he might avoid it, then that’s a man I need to remove from my crew.“
Have you ever been tortured? Suffered pain applied by men who saw you as less than a man? Saw you as an animal? ‘Cause it isn’t actually the pain they’re inflicting that’s the most frightening part of it. It isn’t the fear of future pain. It’s the knowledge that even when the pain stops, even if they were to let you go, that they’ve changed you. That pain, that fear, that despair… has made you someone else, someone you barely recognize. Against your will. I said what I had to say to get out of that place, but I have no intention of honoring their offer. 10 pardons. I would fight to the death to ensure not a single one of my brothers ever has to face what I faced. Now, if there’s a man on this crew that feels differently, that feels as though he’d be willing to accept another brother suffering that fate so that he might avoid it, then that’s a man I need to remove from my crew. […] There will be no more dissent against Captain Flint. There will be no subversion of his plans. There will be nothing but adherence to the principal that we are none of us safe until we are all safe. Does anyone have a problem with that?
An ocean lies between your body and mine. Dark blue, freckled with yellow specks, and static-y beneath my scraggly socks when I cross it on my way to the bathroom. I can see you breathing, the slight rise and fall of your chest, a ship bobbing among the waves. Your lips are parted, inviting and I suck in a breath, barely holding myself back from pushing myself out of bed and stealing the air right out of your lungs.
The moonlight casts a shadow through the window and sprinkles stardust on you face, appearing as tiny dots on your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and leaving a small one right on the edge of your mouth.
I wonder what you’d do if I actually tried to kiss you?
I don’t though, not tonight. Maybe soon, if I ever get up the courage. Instead I close the fettered expanse of water between us as much as I can, sleeping on my side, facing you, my hand outstretched and hanging between our beds.
You sleep towards me too, body always ready to protect.
“Sammy,” you mumble, voice hoarse and cracking like drought-wracked ground and you scoot over, closer, and teeter on the edge of the mattress.
I wonder if it’s a sign, my name finding you even in sleep.
You were awoken by the loud familiar buzz on your alarm clock. You quickly grabbed the annoyance and turned it off. Groaning, you ripped the duvet off yourself and went to move out of Justin’s tight embrace but where pulled back by him. He nuzzled his face in your neck then kissed your bare shoulder.
“Justin I have work,” you whispered as you turned in his arms to face him. Not all of us where as lucky to be able to saunter into the studio whenever we felt like it. Some of us had to get up and be ready by 9.
You went to move again but Justin refused to let you. “Justin,” you giggled.
“Stay please,” he mumbled, obviously still not fully awake. “Call in sick baby,” he kissed my neck. “Stay in bed with me all day” he planted another kiss slightly further up. “You know you want to” he pecked my lips. You could slowly feel yourself falling into his trap, you really could use a day off.
“Fine,” you groaned, dragging out the ‘e’, “but you can call in sick for me”
“Consider it done.” He smiled and pecked your lips. Grabbing your phone, he unlocked it and dialled your boss’ number.
“Hi… Yes this is Justin… Yeah I’m afraid y/n won’t be in today. She’s been sick all night… Yes I will thank you… Yup you too bye.” And with that he hung up and turned your phone off.
You grabbed the remote and turned on your TV quickly finding your favourite films. You could hear Justin sighing as he’d seen these about a hundred times but he never argued about it.
“I’ll go get us some food” he informed you before leaving the bedroom in just his boxers. He returned minutes later with all your favourite food, healthy and unhealthy and slumped beside you on the bed, wrapping his arm around you. You turned to face him and pecked his lips as a thank you.
The rest of the day was spent on the bed, picking at the food and playing all the films you wanted to watch. Currently, you laid across Justin’s chest as he stroked your back for you, he knew you loved it. You lifted your head up to greet him and peck his lips lightly. One short kiss quickly became heated.
Soon you were rolling about the bed, hands in hair, tongues tangled, bodies against one another. Before it went any further, you pulled back.
“Babe, I’m too sick remember” you winked before turning back to your film, pecking him on the lips once more.
You guys know the drill, comments gets you faster chapters :)
“Why do I feel so nervous?” You asked Kate as you fixed
the sleeves of your barely covering your ass black dress, scrunching your nose
after you pulled on your black heeled booties. “I’m missing something,” You
held out your hand to Kate and she quickly threw you the dark grey sleeveless
zip coat. You put it on and faced her for expection.
She nodded in contentment, “Yep all good, why’re you
nervous? It’s only dinner.”
“Only dinner,” You echoed, “with two boys I used to call
Kate cupped your face and smiled, “You’ll be fine, if
anything goes wrong I’ll come and pick you up.”
“Why can’t I just take the car?” You asked.
“Because the last time you drove upset you nearly got in
a crash and I nearly lost my baby,” Kate answered while handing you your black
purse. “Now please, go have fun; dance a little, laugh a little.”
You sighed with a smile, “Okay,”
Kate smacked your bum and you laughed while you walked
out of your room and out of your apartment, you got into the cab and told him
where to drop you off. On the way there you glanced down at your phone and saw
a text message from Johnson, telling you not to be surprised if he kissed you
because he was so excited to see you. You felt yourself grinning down at your
phone as you typed back that it was okay because Jack had basically done the
same thing, he told you that him and Jack were already there and for you to get
here quicker. Your stomach burst with butterflies when you realized that you
were pulling up to the restaurant that Johnson told you to come too. You quickly
paid for the ride and found yourself walking towards the table they were sat
It was like Johnson had a radar for you because the
second you stepped into the eating area, following the lady who was bringing
you to where the boys were sitting, his eyes hit yours. Your lips spread into a
shy smile as Jack turned around in his seat, a sexy smile on his lips as you
walked towards him.
“They look overly happy to see you.” The lady teased as
Johnson stood up. You gave her a smile and she stopped walking, holding out her
arm as if you didn’t know where you were going already.
Your legs just carried you and suddenly your heart
started beating faster, to say you dreamt about seeing Johnson again was an
understatement, you had thought about it so many times, you had imagined it
happening again and again, in the most surprising places. Sometimes you dreamt
that they would show up at some frat party, just because, or if you were
walking around the mall with Kate and you bumped into them at the cash
register, and even thought about it happening at a coffee shop, but you never
thought it would happen.
The look on Johnson’s face was just pure happiness, his
eyes were gleaming and his smile widened with every step you took to get to
him. His arms immediately opened for a hug and you walked into him, pressing
into him as far as you could get because this felt like a dream. If it was a
dream, then you wanted to hold onto him until you woke up. With his arms
wrapped around your shoulders and your face dug into his shoulder, his cologne
wrapped around you and tears sprang into your eyes because at one point you
didn’t know if he would actually come back for you once his life calmed down.
“God,” Johnson sighed into your neck, “I never thought I
would see you again.”
“Well,” you pulled back with a smile, “you never did say
cheeks burned because of your smile, but Johnson took no notice as he grabbed
your face and kissed your cheek, halfway thankful he didn’t attack your face
like Jack had done. When he pulled back he reached for the chair that was
between him and Jack and pulled it out for me, you sat down and smiled at Jack.
“Hey,” you breathed.
“Hey gorgeous,” Jack grinned and leaned over to kiss your
cheek, “how’re you?”
“Yeah, fuck, you have to tell us what’s going on with
you?” Johnson sat as he sat down.
“Well,” You leaned back into the chair, placing your
hands in your lap. “I’ve been doing good, Kate’s made sure I haven’t gotten too
lonely without you guys.”
They gave you a sad smile but Johnson asked, “Do you know
what you’re going to major in?”
And that’s how it went for a good hour and a half,
between the eating, laughing and drinking, you just talked. About everything,
not one thing was left out. You told them about meeting some creep at a party,
told them that he followed you into your room and you had to kick him in the
balls and call the police. You told them about the first time you got drunk
here, about how you and Kate scaled a fence and skinny dipped in not only the
pool but also the ocean. They told you about Digitour, told you about all the
drama. They told you about MAGcon ending, but also that they still hung out
with the guys and talked with them nearly every day, they told you about their
trip to London and how they had their first legal beer and told you about how
they got their hearts broken.
And then you made the mistake asking about Nate and
suddenly the table got awkward and quiet. “I genuinely want to know,” You told
them. “Not because I think we’ll ever get back together, but he had been my
best friend before my boyfriend.”
Johnson looked over at Jack and tilted his head while
fiddling with his straw, “Should we tell her?”
“Tell me what?” you asked, looking between the two
wondering who was going to tell you.
Your eyes settled on Jack and he placed his elbows on the
table, rubbing his jaw. “Nate’s been with this girl for 3 months now,” Jack
You hadn’t meant too, you thought two years had been
enough for your heart to get over it, but you guess it hadn’t been enough
because when Jack told you, the words sank in and hit you like a ton of bricks.
“Oh,” you said and recovered, “is she, you know, treating him well?”
“Nadia is no you, Y/N.” Jack said softly.
“Nadia is a mistake for Nate, they aren’t good to each
other.” Johnson said, bringing your eyes to him.
“How’d they meet?” You asked, trying to keep your voice
calm and level, instead of giving in to wanting to cry. It had been two years,
what did you expect? Were you really that naïve to think that Nate would wait
for you? That naïve to think that a gorgeous guy like him wouldn’t find a girl?
Jack sighed. “I’m not telling her this.”
So you looked at Johnson, pleading his eyes with yours to
just tell you, to not dance around your fragile self, that you thought was
stronger than this. But Johnson saw right through your pretty eyes, he saw
right through the strong persona that you put out and right into the fragile
girl he befriended in first grade. “After the first year,” He paused and looked
down for a second before continuing. “Losing you was really hard on him, he
really wanted you back but he knew UCLA was your ticket away from your dad so
he stayed away. He and Nadia met last year and they used each other for hookups
and three months ago she demanded to be in a relationship or she’d cut him out
of her life, and he thought you weren’t coming back. So, yeah.”
You nodded and
picked at your nail polish, “Is he in love with her?”
“We’d like to believe he still loves you, but he doesn’t
tell us what he’s feeling when it comes to you.” Johnson answered and you
You took a deep breath as Jack’s strong hand touched your
inner thigh, giving you a squeeze, telling you to look at him and when you did
he gave you a smile. “He’ll realize the mistake soon enough.”
You sat up straighter, shaking this feeling away. You
gave both Jacks smile, “Well, it’s in the past and I’ve gotten over it.”
The Jacks saw right through it, but they didn’t call you
out on it.
You know what. Sometimes you gotta step out the shower and show your bare naked face to a bunch of people on the Internet. Why? Because it’s taken me so long to be confident enough to do so. I’m not perfect. My eyebrows aren’t kept. I have freckles and my skin isn’t even. But who cares? I don’t. And that’s all that matters. As Supermaryface says: YOU EXIST FOR YOU. That’s all.
Confidence doesn’t appear overnight. It’s something you work hard to get. I know you can all get there and if showing my face like this helps in anyway then of course I’ll share it with the world.
Before people say ‘YE but they’re filtered blah blah blah’ yes. 2 are. 1 isn’t. Deal with it.
I want this community to realise how incredible they are. Inside and out. Now. Let’s all start to help build each other up. Maybe one day we’ll have the epic handsomeness which Mark seems to feel he has. Maybe.
Magnus cleared his throat. “Quick warning. The guy who just walked in is an ex,” he said. “Well. Barely an ex. It was very casual. And we parted very amicably.”
At that moment, Richard caught sight of him. Richard’s whole face spasmed; then he crossed the floor in two steps.
“You are scum!” Richard hissed, and then picked up Magnus’s glass of wine and dashed it in his face. “Get out while you can,” he continued to Alec. “Never trust a warlock. They’ll enchant the years from your life and the love from your heart!”
“Years?” Magnus spluttered. “It was barely twenty minutes!”
“Time means different things to those who are of faerie,” said Richard, the pretentious idiot. “You wasted the best twenty minutes of my life!”
Magnus grabbed hold of his napkin and began to clean off his face. He blinked through the red blurriness at Richard’s retreating back and Alec’s startled face.
“All right,” he said. “It’s possible I was mistaken about the amicable parting.” He tried to smile suavely, which was difficult with wine in his hair. “Ah well. You know exes.”
Alec studied the tablecloth. There was art in museums given less attention than this tablecloth.
“Not really,” he said. “You’re my first ever date.