GAYTECTIVES

it is what it is.

“What’ll be the title of this one, then?” Sherlock asks as he removes the red-haired wig from his head. He throws the wig cap away with wild abandon - he has at least four more - and ruffles out his curls. 

How they can remain immaculate is beyond John’s reasoning, but then again, not everything can be explained by logic or reason. That’s why he’s around. “’The Red-Haired Stepchild’?” John muses with a shrug. He rips off the fake mustache with a hiss - he thought that ghastly thing would come off cleaner - and rubs his upper lip. He sees Sherlock smirking in delight and throws the mustache at him. “I’ll come up with the title after lunch. Tea?”

“Please,” Sherlock replies with the tiniest of smiles. He falls upon his new chair, a more modern uptake of the same one lost in the fire, and puts his feet upon the table.

“Just going to check on Rosie first,” John adds as an afterthought before disappearing to the upstairs bedroom. He comes back down a few moments after; the coos and happy tone in his voice signal his return before Sherlock even sees his feet on the stairs.

By the time John and Rosie are in the sitting room, Sherlock is grinning and bright-eyed. He holds his hands out expectantly. John pulls Rosie closer to him with a pout.

“I’m her father, I get to see her first,” he reasons before planting kiss after kiss on his girl’s head. She kicks with glee and flails her stubby arms.

Sherlock crosses his not-so-stubby arms and glares at the sight. “Well, I’m her Papa,” he argues, “and she’s still getting to know me.”

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“I mean, you’re good Hermione, but no one’s that good. How’re you supposed to be in three classes at once?”

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“YOU KNOW WHAT @gaytectives I am a high functioning sociopath and I am NOT CRYING!!!!”

imagine john’s blog entries after he and sherlock get together he’ll be writing up a case and it’ll say things like “After a late-night date at Angelo’s, we took off to Scotland Yard” and “I knew when he came crawling to bed at half one in the morning that he’d been up at the lab. It didn’t help that he smelled like chemicals.” and “With the case wrapped up, we’re due for a bit of a lie-in, so if things are quiet around here, well - you know.”

and sherlock will get annoyed because really this has nothing to do with the case and he’ll say so in the comments (sitting next to john in bed, both of them on their laptops) and they’ll get into it online while casually talking in real life, their toes touching, and occasionally john says that sherlock’s comment was a bit below the belt or sherlock will compliment john’s originality and they both chuckle and finally john shuts sherlock’s laptop and types one last comment (We’ll be back - I’ve got to teach him a lesson.) before closing his own and kissing sherlock all over, and sherlock doesn’t complain one bit

john takes a part time position at a clinic in sussex for the first few years of sherlock’s retirement he only works a few hours each week and his schedule is set and soon his coworkers notice that every wednesday at noon someone comes into john’s office and gives him a sandwich and a kiss and heads out and when they ask who it is john shrugs and says “just my husband” and smiles at the dumb stickynote on his brown paper (and puts it in his drawer along with all the others)

imagine sherlock undressing john languidly and unrushed and he kisses all along his neck and collarbone and asks him to turn so he can paint his back with  kisses, and he sees john’s shoulder scar, not for the first time but now, in shadow only visibly by memory, it’s even more intriguing, and he brushes his lips over it, not kissing just barely touching, and john shudders and begins to shrug away from his affections, but sherlock utters against his skin, breath hot in the chilly air, “this brought you to me.”

imagine john undressing sherlock kindly and slowly and he noses his freshly-washed hair and kisses the back of his neck in little, adoring pecks, and he sees the scars on his back, he’s seen them before but somehow, washed in blue moonlight, the sight of them is more poigant, and he strokes each gash - short and long and shallow and deep - with his index finger, and sherlock shudders and starts to say his name in protest, but john tips his forehead onto sherlock’s shoulder and mumbles, “these brought you back to me.”

and sherlock brushes his fingers over the minuscule scars on john’s temple and remembers nearly losing him in the bonfire, and john tenderly kisses sherlock’s clean bullet scar on his abdomen and remembers nearly losing him again to someone he once thought he loved, and their scars are little pieces of evidence of the struggle they’ve fought just to be together, and it’s all been so worth it

the only real change sherlock and john make to their cottage is the bathtub - they install a larger one (with jets !! john is so excited about the jets !!) and when they use it the first time they relax and enjoy the massage and the new leg room but end up on one side of the tub pressed together anyway because they miss being squished right together until their pruning toes wriggle and brush under the water, sherlock kissing john’s neck and john sinking back against him, cosy and warm, and sure they were only a foot or two away from one another but they’re older and sore and being held by your retired detective of a husband does more to help that than any fancy tub can

when sherlock first notices john moving things around the cottage he shrugs it off as spring cleaning but it goes on for about a week and he can’t figure out why so he spends one afternoon pondering all the possibilities and when john comes home he barges out to the cab to give him his deductions but he doesn’t even get to say a word because john opens the door and an irish setter pup comes barreling out barking and tripping over its own feet and it runs to sherlock and jumps up and is a wriggling ball of excitement and sherlock just stares in shock because puppyproofing the cottage wasn’t even a possibility in his mind and john smiles and scoops the pup up and hands him to sherlock and tells him happy birthday and even after twenty five years john still surprises him