I mean, I can remember — when you’re a smart kid, or you’re just a very sensitive kid, and you have a lot that you need to say that’s very important to you, people don’t really take you seriously — I can remember being so frustrated, just constantly to the point of tears. I think the thing that I said most in my life for the first ten years was ‘Just listen to me. Listen.’ And even when I say that now, I always have a little flashback from those years, because I had so much trouble being taken seriously. I can remember people saying, ‘You’re twelve, Fiona,’ and just disregarding everything I had to say. All of my very deep, intense, serious worries and fears and wonders were just kind of disregarded because I was a kid and I was crazy and I was weird.
We often think of peace as the absence of war, that if powerful countries would reduce their weapon arsenals, we could have peace. But if we look deeply into the weapons, we see our own minds - our own prejudices, fears and ignorance. Even if we transport all the bombs to the moon, the roots of war and the roots of bombs are still there, in our hearts and minds, and sooner or later we will make new bombs. To work for peace is to uproot war from ourselves and from the hearts of men and women. To prepare for war, to give millions of men and women the opportunity to practice killing day and night in their hearts, is to plant millions of seeds of violence, anger, frustration, and fear that will be passed on for generations to come.
I’m getting really frustrated with trying to reach out to white feminists and “only love defeats hate” hippy types.
I’ve expressed some cynicism about the women’s march. I haven’t written them off completely and I believe the organizers have their hearts in the right place, but I can’t ignore the complacency and compliance of white feminism and what it means. I know that as a demographic the majority of white women voted for Trump. I also know that once all of these police-hand-shaking white ladies finish taking their cute activism selfies and put their pink pussy hats away in their keepsake boxes, they’ll pat themselves on the back and then they WILL leave the rest of us hanging. Maybe literally. They will retreat into the relative safety that being white and cis and straight gives them and leave trans women and disabled folks and black women and queers and nonbinary folks and sex workers out here flapping in the fucking breeze.
And when I say something about this I have white cisgender women and men who I have considered friends and tried to reach out to telling me that I’m being divisive. “Not all white women voted for Trump” “Black people voted for trump too! Even if it was only 8%…” “If we hadn’t marched, would you be any better off?” “ Black women didn’t vote. Wtf good is this tear-down argument you are pushing today?
I don’t believe calling people out on not connecting the dots between a Trump win and conservative SCOTUS control for half a lifetime is racist.”
Their racism is showing. Their selfishness is showing. I know that the only gods damned reason they marched is that some of their privilege is threatened now. They weren’t marching when it was only brown people and black people and queers and muslims losing their rights. They tell me “love trumps hate” and violence against white supremacists is unjustified because “a single Nazi cabinet member doesn’t mean we’re under Nazi rule.”
I’m trying to stay strong and keep reaching out. I’m trying to gently educate them and make them care about what’s right BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT and not because it just now affects them.
Life’s uncertainty makes constant demands on everyone’s coping mechanisms. There are basically two ways to cope with uncertainty – acceptance and resistance. Acceptance means that you allow events to unfold around you and react to them spontaneously, without suppression. Resistance means that you try to change events from what they really are…
Acceptance is healthy because it permits you to clear any stress as soon as it occurs; resistance is unhealthy because it builds up residues of frustration, false expectations, and unfulfilled desires.