Florida Panthers

NHL regular season 2016-17

Arizona Coyotes & Buffalo Sabres

Boston Bruins

Chicago Blackhawks

Colorado Avalanche

Columbus Blue Jackets

Dallas Stars

Edmonton Oilers

Florida Panthers

Montreal Canadiens

Philadelphia Flyers

Pittsburgh Penguins

San Jose Sharks

Toronto Maple Leafs

Vancouver Canucks

Washington Capitals

Winnipeg Jets

If only there was an international event that NHL players wanted to go to.

Originally posted by nansgifs

*takes off hockey jersey to reveal hockey shirsey*

Thoughts of a Hockey Penalty Box Attendant

  • ‘Get a job in the NHL they said, it’ll be fun they said, fuckin’ lied though didn’t they.’
  • 'Here comes our first prisone–I mean player.’
  • 'Why do you guys have to hit the glass with your sticks? Why? You could poke an eye out.’
  • 'Oh no, no no no, not the camera– damnit, we just got a new one.’
  • 'How many times is this guy gonna get a penalty.’
  • 'Oh great, here comes another one. Joy.’
  • 'Okay guys, I’m running out of roo- okay honestly, I have no where to sit now.’
  • 'Ew, I just stepped in some sort of bodily fluid.’
  • 'Just once I’d like to see a fan come in the box circa Tie Domi. Just once.’
  • 'It’s a good thing there’s no hot mics in here. A sailor would blush after hearing some of this shit.’
  • 'Can–can you not try to continue the fight while in the pout palace? You’re basically in a glass case of emotion and no one can hear you but me.’
  • 'I will either go deaf from players yelling or fans. Probs both.’
  • 'I am the keeper of the bad children and I alone can release them from their prison.’
When your favorite player isn't protected

Originally posted by somenerdthing

NHL Departments & Officials

  • Referee = basically bats because they can’t see shit during the day or at night.
  • Coaches = Angry bench bear
  • Assistant coaches = Angry bench bear 2.0
  • Equipment staff = wizards
  • Medical staff = also wizards
  • Goalie coaches = keeper of the mashmellow optimus primes
  • Owners = people who get involved in shit they probably shouldn’t.
  • Player safety = five dudes standing in a dark room picking punishments out of a hat.
  • Penalty box attendants = pout palace knights
  • Toronto Review board = people who sit in a dark room and flip a coin to decide calls.
  • Arena announcers = voice of hockey gods
  • Official doctors = not Joffery Lupul’s friends
  • Gary Bettman = Mr. Crabs from Spongebob

Credit to the hockey news.

Here’s the current playoff possibility for each team and possible match up.

Me when Vegas starts making its picks...

Originally posted by toomanyfandomsblog

Map shows the most popular NHL team in every state

Hockey Fan Starter Kit

  1. Chose a team, doesn’t matter which one, you’ll be called a bandwagoner regardless.
  2. Prepare yourself for at least 10 mental breakdowns, 50 if your team is in the playoffs.
  3. Don’t try the understand the calls because the refs are blind and the rules are a more like guidelines.
  4. Get yourself a beer or wine or any other drink you can turn to when the game infuriates you.
  5. It’s called a penalty box, but I call it a pout palace.
  6. Don’t expect to understand what goalie interference is. It’s like big foot; it might exists but you never see it.
  7. Like goalie interference, offsides is called when its pulled from the ‘stupid reason to blow the play dead’ hat.
  8. You boo Bettman. Doesn’t matter when, where, or what he’s doing - you boo. He feeds of it, like an unpopular hockey vampire.
  9. Pierre McGuire is the Hermione of the hockey world; very smart and educated but occasionally overshares.
  10. Phil Kessel is a stanley cup champion and that’s the only thing you need to know.
  11. Goalies are precious and have never done a single thing wrong. Love them, they’re marshmellow optimus primes.
  12. Fighting isn’t fighting, unless fights are classified as hugging matches to see can squeeze the hardest.
  13. Mike Millbury is the white crayon of hockey; no one wants him and no one cares about what he does.
  14. Don’t throw your jersey onto the ice, it’s rude and (unless you got a small loan of one million dollars from your dad) expensive.
  15. The bond between tendy and defendy is v. strong. Don’t question it.
  16. Finally, have fun. Shit talk other teams, be a die hard fan but don’t be a dick. We already have one Steve Simmons, we don’t need another.

i’m so damn proud to be part of the hockey fandom. like there are first games, last games, first goals, last time playing in an arena, first time playing in an arena, trades, retirement and no matter what team you support or who you support you will feel with the fans going through it and that unites us all in the sport of hockey. so many things have changed in the last 100 years but one thing that’ll always be here is hockey and the love that 2 nations share for it. it is absolutely unbelievable just taking a step back and thinking about your team fighting for the stanley cup and being in that atmosphere with hundreds of other fans and fans watching from around the world who share that feeling with you it’s so overwhelming and emotional with the love you have for your team and your city. once you’re in you’re never out. never give up on hockey because hockey won’t give up on you. no matter when you join or who you join, you’ll always be welcome.