Okay I’ve threaten to write about this for sometime, well ever since I started this blog and to-date I have failed. It’s not through lack of trying but the more I sit down and think about it the more clouded and unobtainable the answer becomes.
I’d love to know the reason why I crossdress and while I can give some kind of answer, an attraction to women and their clothes I’m never fully satisfied with this answer.
Wanting to crossdress is one of the oldest and clearest memories I have. While I can remember things from a younger age I can’t think of any other so definite. My first memory is from when I must have been 5-6 years old and becoming infatuated with a woman who I can only assume must have been a student teacher at school. She was stunning and her clothes just added to her beauty, I just remember wanting to have some of beauty and attraction.
In the past there have been times in my life when I hated the body I was given and even wished I had been born a girl. I can’t say I’m even happy with my body today, I have however, reached a point where I can just about stand what I see in the mirror. Looking back I can’t say I hated the fact I was male, more I just was wishing for a better situation to be in. I was overweight, nerdy, lacked friends and bullied, I was just longing to be somewhere else, be someone else, naively assuming it would be a better life…
Anyway back to the present and as I firmly feel I’m a crossdresser we keeping coming back to why do I do it and that is causing me some problems. A big issue for me is my dressing is it seems so unproductive, I don’t know where it’s going, what is the goal, whats the point. I like to know where I’m going and what I’m doing in life. I don’t feel guilt for crossdessing however, yet to figure out why I do it and without knowing it’s left me a bit of spin.
I would just like to know really why I do dress, is there some end goal? I still feel like before long I’ll just get up and quit. At the moment I’m single and the assumption at the back of mind is when I meet the right girl and settle down this will all just disappear but will it?
Well I’m going to leave this topic here for now, sorry it’s a bit of messy post but I’ve been wanting to post something for a while so I’ve cobbled this together from some interesting discussions I’ve been having back on /r/crossdressing. I’m certainly going to revisit this discussion in future when I have the time and can put more thought into it.
Okay just putting this out there as a reminder, will someone please remind me to wear this dress again at some point. Preferably after I’ve lost a few pounds as it’s a blooming tight fit and I’m a little more rotund now than when I took these photos :P
I wanted to say something a little more profound but I’m just too tired to give it a good go. Hopefully there will be a little more blah blah blah from me when I get my head together.
Until then as always feel free to ask me questions here you lovely people XD