Flatbearart

9

I’M SORRY I COULDN’T RESIST!!!!!!

  • Okay, but seriously, Glorfindel is the best elf ever. He was an elflord in Gondolin who escaped during its fall to Morgoth. During the retreat, the fleeing elves were ambushed and one of the enemies was a Balrog, like the one that Gandalf fought in Moria.
  • Glorfindel dueled the Balrog, killing it and clearing the path so that the rest of the elves could escape. However, he was killed in the process and, like all elves who die, his spirit went to the Halls of Mandos where it rested and was cleansed and where he was eventually reembodied (which happens with elves). However, unlike other elves, Glorfindel was sent back across the sea during the Second Age where he continued to kick ass and take names. 
  • Notable among these being the time he totally faced down the Witch-King of Angmar who fucked right off and ran away. Incidentally, the future king of Gondor was there for that and totally wanted to chase down the Witch-King and Glorfindel was like “Do not pursue him! He will not return to these lands. Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of man will he fall.

OH SNAP I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS GLORFINDEL THAT SAID THAT SHIT, THAT’S BECAUSE HE GOT SHAFTED IN THE MOVIES

In fact, contrary to what the movies would have you believe, it was Glorfindel, not Arwen, who scoops up Frodo and outruns the Nazgul to get him safely to Rivendell. 

So as you can see, he is basically the best elf ever in the entire world and absolutely deserving of the Regina George treatment.

(The above nonsense was written by me and arted by my wonderful wife, flatbear)

This was the second piece I had commissioned by flatbear.  

I actually got this for one of my best friends Katy. She loves burlesque and Clint so… why not put the two together. Now I have an Old West AU in my head in which Clint makes Natasha be a dancer at a saloon with him…. *headdesk*

This are is PERFECT OKAY. PERFECT.

DO NOT REMOVE THE TAG or I will sic Barton and Natasha on you. Natasha may or may not have a knife in her corset somewhere. :|

ASHEVILLE. COMIC. EXPO!

You can find me at Table A1! Where as one of the organizers and the artist liaison, I will be WATCHING ALL. LIKE THE EYE OF SAURON.

Also I will hopefully be over a RESPIRATORY INFECTION AND BRONCHITIS ARE YOU KIDDING ME by next weekend. I will have PRINTS and POSTCARDS and STICKERS and if I have some spare time, I might even bust out a few quick sketches for anyone that wants one!

Come and see me and SO MANY other AMAZING and talented people on September 20th, at the US Cellular Center in Asheville, NC, from 11am until 6pm! $10 at the door or on ticketmaster.com, kids under 10 are in free!

….

……..

………….

At first I thought this was a joke, and I told Nicki. Then we decided this wasn’t actually a joke and it’s some ignorant ass motherfucker that doesn’t know shit and probably thinks that PETA is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

  1. They are A N I M A L S. Gender roles exist because the sex of the animal determines their behavior. It’s not like I require Maxine to sit in the kitchen and make me a sandwich while I’m working. Plus she doesn’t have opposable thumbs. And she’s a fucking dog. D-O-G. DOG.
  2. I wish you would de-anon and say this to my face. Because then I’d have someone hold my shoes while I lost my goddamn mind on your ass.
  3. Nicki has great response images.
7

Captain America 3: Someone Should Really Call Clint I Mean Seriously Like Half His Stuff Was Still At SHIELD…

So I’ve recently started writing Porter City again, and Nicki decided to draw me some of the characters!  This also means that I’m going to be spamming you guys with various inspiration pictures, playlists, brainstorming, casting, and other nonsense. :)

These two are Geoffrey and Stella, a mated pair of werewolves! Geoffrey is the enforcer for the German pack. He and Stella are the breeding pair for that pack (because the alpha fell in love with another man hurr hurr). Geoffrey found Stella in a French brothel when she was very young and he tore the place apart, rescued her, and handed her over to a lady friend of his that ran a finishing school. When Stella turned 17, she set out to find her handsome prince. She managed to track Geoffrey down to the company he was serving with during the Napoleonic War and initially assumed that his pack brother Jon was the one who saved her. Confronted with Geoffrey, considerably less polished and handsome than Jon, Stella promptly fell in love with him and he with her. He took her home and she was inducted into the pack. They’ve been together since then, though they never bothered to get married. They have six children.

So Nicki and I have decided, due to popular demand, that we will be doing Porter City as a webcomic!

This is one of the main characters from the comic, Major Freddie Dorsey. She’s a U.S. Marine, and in charge of the Porter City Werewolf Task Force.