Feeling-Estranged

Daredevil: Boy who was blinded gains super senses and his hyper awareness becomes his super power.

Jessica Jones: Abuse victim becomes the strongest woman in the city and even builds an immunity to mind control.

Luke Cage: Was wrongly incarcerated and the side effects of illegal experiments turns him into a bullet proof black man protecting Harlem.

Iron Fist: Asian-American torn between escaping stereotypes and feeling estranged from his culture, discovers he’s from a long line of mystical martial arts masters and gains the ability to use his chi to save the world.

Iron Fist: White boy can do Asian thing better than Asians

Eris the 10th Planet thru the Houses, Where in Life Do You Feel “Left Out”?

Discovered in 2005, from plates found in 2003, Eris is a Trans-Neptunian Object, which is an astronomical term meaning further out than Neptune. She was named a dwarf planet along with Pluto. She was Planet X, then nicknamed Xena, then officially named after the brother of Ares/Mars, the goddess of discord.

Eris entered Aries in 1923 and will not enter Taurus until 2048, so almost everyone alive right now has Eris in Aries, therefore making the house of Eris more personal to you. It takes 556 years for Eris to orbit the sun.

“Eris is one who struggles against injustice and oppression. She has her war-like and even bloodthirsty side, with the higher manifestation of defending the weak and standing up for oneself. Her placement and aspects to other planets correlate to the archetype of the underdog warrior, speaking truth to power, and with also a willingness to resort to violence if necessary. Many manifestations of this archetype exist in the present culture, and the discovery period is also coincident with the onset of the Iraq war. This archetype represents a dire motif of the struggle for survival that is inherent in the natural world, and in humankind also, and which represents once again, as with Pluto and Chiron, a darker side of our common humanity that must be acknowledged and faced in our time. Where she located in your chart, you have the capability to make a powerful and perhaps ruthless stand for yourself, and to battle against all odds.” –Time Passages Software

Eris in the 1st house: Your presence is so radical that you don’t fit in with most people. You boldly state your opinions and you might even get a thrill from causing trouble between people. You are a brave fighter full of strength. You thrive on conflict as it propels you to feel alive. You prefer revolution over tradition. You crave discord and excitement as opposed to trying to find peace in life. You feel doldrums when life is too calm, you always feel the need to take on challenges.

Eris in the 2nd house: You resist the current system of economy and want to rebel against being dependent on money, you’re the person who is cut out for growing their own food and/or living off the grid. You feel a drive in your soul to not be materially attached, even if you might have other factors in your chart that indicate a tendency to splurge on possessions. You value sticking up for the underdog, fighting injustice, and living passionately.

Eris in the 3rd house: The school system made you feel boxed in; your learning style might not grasp academic lessons, but is able to absorb information when you are allowed to learn on your own. You didn’t get all the attention from teachers that would have helped you excel in the classroom, so rather, you reject commands of busy work assignments and find brilliance by doing projects your own way. You may have been made to feel dumb because you could not meet standards that other students could, yet the chaos in your mind brings ideas together when you are given freedom to learn at your own pace.

Eris in the 4th house: Your family made you feel like the odd one out, they did not sympathize with you during hard times. You had to break away from traditions and find yourself. The universe gives you permission to shamelessly reject what your parents taught you, as they may not have had the most well rounded perspective when they raised you. They likely treated you with injustice and made you feel oppressed.

Eris in the 5th house: Your idea of fun is different than those around you, so it may have been difficult to find comradery (feeling of a connected community) until you found a group of people with a common interest. Your hobbies are seen as strange, compared to typical activities that most people enjoy. Your children may have a discordant temperament. Your romantic life is filled with chaos.

Eris in the 6th house: You don’t fit in at most workplaces, you resist being subordinate to a boss. You feel oppressed by the daily grind and wish to find a more exciting job. You’d do well in an action packed vocation that allows you to be a maverick. You feel like you weren’t given a fair shot in the workforce and may excel more if you become self-employed. Your health will decline when you act discordant.

Eris in the 7th house: Relationships always seem to end up in flames in your life, which includes business partnerships, lovers, close friends, etc. You wonder why can’t I just find that special someone and make it last? You attract discordant people. Perhaps you haven’t worked through all the chaos within you and so you project others as being difficult. If you make a point to cultivate inner peace while acknowledging your own inner wild self, you will draw in the right people who do not provoke you too much.

Eris in the 8th house: Deep in your soul lies discordance that you need to embrace and understand. You desire a crazy sex life to let out inhibitions your chaotic emotions that you don’t get to release in other areas in life.

Eris in the 9th house: You feel that religion has oppressed you, you do not resonate with the faith you were raised with and it is up to you to explore spirituality in many forms to find your own truths. Traveling alone would be very therapeutic to you. You love the idea of higher learning, but the structure of college doesn’t agree with you. You experience injustice in the college setting.

Eris in the 10th house: Your discordant nature makes it difficult to achieve your career goals. You’d excel in a career that involves helping others who have been left out, for example, special education, infertility, adoption agencies, counseling, addiction, women’s or men’s rights advocacy, etc. You are resistant to bosses that expect you to be subordinate, you have to fight to achieve the goals and jobs that suit you.

Eris in the 11th house: No matter how many friends you have, you still feel like they don’t include you in their lives as much as you’d like. You feel like a lone wolf, you don’t fully fit in with most groups. If you find friends who appreciate your uniqueness, you’ll feel fulfilled. Make it a point to seek non-judgmental, open, and understanding people, and you can allow yourself to grow close to people who matter. You can heal from any previous friends who betrayed you or any times you felt like you had no one to reach out to.

Eris in the 12th house: You subconsciously want to be alone in order to dig deep into your spiritual self. You have sabotaged relationships and opportunities because you hadn’t worked thru your inner baggage. Your soul has likely existed on other planets as you feel estranged from this world in general. You can journey through other dimensions because your chaotic spirit endlessly searches for more. You are fighting a battle in your psyche, as Eris triggered the Trojan war. Your chaotic nature has been suppressed, as you realize that too many people in this world cannot handle you.

If you would like me to look at your entire chart and how Eris makes aspects to your birth planets, I offer natal chart readings, among many other services that you can check out at AcaiPsycheLife.tumblr.com/readings

Mass Effect Andromeda ‘Leaks’

So there were a couple more ‘leaks’ about Andromeda the other day, around Jaal in particular, but also the existence and purpose of the Kett, and yeah, take these with a grain of salt, but things seem to match up pretty well.

- Jaal has “sad vibes”: he often looks and sounds melancholic, but he is also very curious and can get quite excited about new things that intrigue him

- He is sympathetic towards Ryder’s cause and admires their courage. He joins the Initiative to understand better the new races and find a footing among new people after feeling estrangered from his own home.

-As some suggested before, the Kett are Angara who went through a painful, forced transformation. They believe this will make them powerful, that this is the right way for their race to evolve, and so the angaran race split into two factions: that’s why we saw Ryder fight some of them in the gameplay videos

- Jaal belongs to the angaran Resistance Force that tries to oppose these traitorous, dangerous angaran. Many of his people were captured, including his father, whom he tried to save. He didn’t succeed and was tortured and almost turned into a Kett. That experience deeply scarred him (not just outside: notice the ugly scar on his left “tentacle”) and that explains his deep sadness

- Despite everything, he is still very emotive. He is described as “soulful” and he always thinks before speaking, meditating long on important topics that interest him. He asks many questions, but also loves receiveing many as well, as long as Ryder goes straight to the point.

- He has difficulties understanding Milky Way jokes and customs and prefers to be talked in a direct, honest manner. His romance with FemRyder is a slow-burn romance and you must be patient with him and try to understand him. It’s very worth the trouble, though, (hot sex scene too), and it’s implied his romance will be the one to include the “non traditional marriage” the devs spoke about.

Looking back to my wishes for season 12, I can’t help being so fucking happy with how they handled Mary’s character.

They could have made her live up to the (impossible) “perfect mom” standard that was created for her because of her premature death, they could have reduced her character to a tool that exists only for Sam and Dean, they could have forgotten about her husband and her feelings and her trauma… 

Instead, what we got was a three dimensional character, a woman, not just a mother, an hunter, because it’s nearly impossible to really stop being one when you were raised into it, grieving her husband and the children she knew, feeling estranged from those adult men who call her “mom” but at the same time wishing to love them and be there for them like they deserve, trying to fit in a world that doesn’t feel like it’s her own anymore.

They gave her motives that have nothing to do with Sam and Dean, they let her interact with other characters aside from her sons, they made her so human and I have so many feelings about her.

1. Special: Grips as Songs

~~~~
Legend:
[Specific grip] [(MBTI types that can experience this grip)]
[(brief summary of the grip)]
[Most applicable part of the lyrics]
[- “Song Title”] [(Author)]
~~~~~

Se grip (INxJ)

(Distrust of the unpredictability of the physical world. Impulsiveness and recklessness. Mental shutdown, carelessness).

Take my tongue, go have some fun
And take the ears, take them and disappear
(…)
Take my face and desecrate
Arms and legs get in the way
Bodies break

“Body” (Mother Mother)

Send me down an angel
And let it pull me up from my own hell
We could float around this space
We’d be above all of the pain in ecstasy

“The Drugs” (Mother Mother)


Si grip (ENxP)

(Distrust of traditions. Lack of enthusiasm, lose of the creative spark. Withdrawnness and obsession)

It feels like I only go backwards, baby.
Every part of me says go ahead.
I got my hopes up again, oh no… not again.
Feels like we only go backwards, darling.
The seed of all this indecision isn’t me, oh no,

“Feels like we’re only going backwards” (Tame Impala)

Ne grip (ISxJ)

(Erratic action, visualisation of sundry negative possibilities and outcomes. Paranoia and lack of control)

They’re coming, creeping from the corner
And all I know is that I don’t feel safe
I feel the tapping on my shoulder
I turn around in an alarming state
But am I loosing my mind?
I really think so

– “Nightmare” (Set It Off)

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside

– “I can’t decide” (Scissor Sisters)


Ni grip (ESxP)

(over-analysis is draining. But I can’t stop thinking of all possible most catastrophic outcomes; irrational pessimism and paranoia. Distrust as a result of lacking an identification of connections)

(But things are bound to change)
Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won’t turn out right. Can’t turn out right.

– “And All Things Will End” (Avenged Sevenfold)

And I’ll watch as all the numbers go
Up in a cloud of dark and dirty smoke
Ya I’m just waiting for the end of the world
End of the whole wide world
End of the whole world
Waiting for the world to end

– “Waiting for the World to End” (Mother Mother)


Fe grip (IxTP)

(anxiety over feelings, inability to moderate them. Feeling entangled by outside influences, especially other people’s feelings.)

Sticks and stones could break my bones
But anything you say will only fuel my lungs
Don’t mind us we’re just spilling our guts
If this is love I don’t wanna be loved
You pollute the room with a filthy tongue
Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up.

“Sarcasm” (Get Scared)


Fi grip (ExTJ)

(Self-pity, lack of control over emotions. Loss of self-confidence. Feelings of being deceived, undervalued and despised)

My feelings ran away
I didn’t know how to treat them
Maybe if I believed them they’d have stayed

– “Love Stuck” (Mother Mother)

I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell
In my disasters
(…)
Will I always feel this way
So empty
So estranged?

– “Empty” (Ray LaMontagne)


Te grip (IxFP)

(Feelings of failure and powerlessness, difficulty to set into motion. Inability to process certain emotions. Self-blaming for past decisions).

I never lived in fear I knew I’d die another day
I never viewed my life as something… slipping away
(…)
So don’t be too concerned, you’ve got a lot to learn
Well so do I and we’ve got plenty of time yeah

– “Unbound” (Avenged Sevenfold)

I’m a little tired of walking
Forgive the trite expression
But I’m tired on life’s long road.
(…)
Time cruelly goes hour by hour
– “Irony” (Vocaloid).


Ti grip (ExFJ)

(Distrust and critical view of others, unusual difficulty to care about them. Cynicism and pessimism towards humankind)

Cry to god, a boy, no stronger
And in those days he stood, no falter
A summer smile I won’t remember
No, it stays the same forever
“Guess I died. And I’m so sorry”
Goodbye’s too sad and way too lonely

– “Lost Time Memory”

I push my fingers into my eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
When it’s made of all the things I have to take
Jesus, it never ends, it works it’s way inside
If the pain goes on

“Duality” (Slipknot)

I saw the Beauty and the Beast remake for the second time, and afterward I was like, goddamn it, I’ve got to go home and make a post about how it’s a good movie. I’ve gotta.

I liked it even better the second time. There’s only like three things I could possibly nitpick about it, but I feel so nice about this movie after the shitshow that was La Belle et la Bete 2014 that I don’t even want to be a critic.

It was good!! It’s my exact shit, I admit it freely.

the screenplay is fantastic - surprisingly funny and so nicely rooted in its allusions to its source materials, referencing not only the 90′s Disney version, but all these different versions of beauty and the beast that came before

  • -> Maurice saying “huh!” and staring at the disembodied hands holding the candelabrum outside the Beast’s Castle doors, straight out of the 1946 version
  • -> Belle leading the Beast toward a skittish horse for the first time in years, a scene straight out of Robin McKinley’s Beauty
  • -> the “strangely cultured lion-man,” all the Shakespeare/poetry readings, straight from the 80′s TV show Beauty and the Beast

What I’m saying is, they did their research, not just about the Disney version, but about how to merge what everybody knows about it with all the versions that have ever been made. It was so nice. It made me feel very good.

every character has this added emotional depth and sense of realism:

  • -> the rare care taken with exploring the Beast and Belle - their relationships to their fathers, their relationships to their dead mothers, their shared feeling of estrangement from everyone they know, their shared interests and mirroring body language. Everything was so good.
  • -> the thematic element of gendered intergenerational abuse © the Beast’s father
  • -> Belle’s introduction as innovative and proactive, her teaching the girl to read because she has extra time due to her intellectual innovations
  • -> the welcome change to the Beast’s personality/interests, making him appear (imo) to be much more Belle’s match
  • -> the nice time spent on the developing relationship, and the teleportation to Paris to give them something to bond over: YES
  • -> that the Beast was a bad adult and genuinely, 100% responsible for the curse, and not cursed when he was a 11-year-old child
  • -> the Beast gets a song, which isn’t the one he sings in the Broadway version for some reason, but I mean… I’m never going to say “no” to a male lead singing about how he’ll wait in a tower forever to be saved by the dashing heroine, that’s not a thing that I will ever do
  • -> Maurice’s poignant song at his introduction, setting the great tone for how likable and lovable he would be as a character. Also: his reaction to the denizens of the castle being “NOPE” was the best ever
  • -> the servants’ deeper relationships and their sense of loss and responsibility for the situation
  • -> the explanation of the town’s strange relationship with the castle made very clear
  • -> the way the townspeople didn’t all seem to be small-minded during the first song, they all seemed to have different opinions about Belle
  • -> Luke Evan’s Gaston is the best thing that ever happened to me - at once more believable and frightening than he’d ever been before, but still somehow just as hilarious. That Gaston almost murders Maurice at one point finally differentiated his character as a different moral creature from the Beast, which never really happens to my satisfaction in the 1991 version. (When I watch the 1991 film, I always wonder what makes Gaston so different from the Beast, especially with all the stark parallels, like them both wrongfully imprisoning Belle’s father, and I’m stuck with that question pretty unanswered at the end. In this new movie, Gaston is a genuine murderous scoundrel, and the Beast openly apologizes for ever thinking Belle’s father was a criminal, so I’m less puzzled.) 
  • -> LeFou was outstanding, in every way improved from the original. So funny. I loved the depth his moral compass gave that section of the plot, and I liked that he recovered at the end.

I don’t know, it was like every character was dunked in a little bit more of a delicious Character Complexity Potion. Pretty much everybody was a little bit more 3-dimensional, and the movie had a great heart to it.

the fucking great way parts of the movie felt like watching one of my wizard romance books. The Beast was super charming, when he’d never been amusing before. His looks bothered me in the trailers, but I changed my mind as the movie went on. And he had that perfect Beast voice, like a walking incarnation of all the gentler book versions of the Beast who had rarely made their way to cinema before. He was so fake-petty-mean and sardonic, his little comments… I don’t know, the Beast is funny as shit in this movie. I love this dude, I could see why Belle would like him. I believed the romance, I had my pulse on that romance, I was rooting for them. And that’s something that’ll make or break it.

minor list of things I was less impressed by: 

  • -> the transformation scene with someone else in the room (better than the 2014 version, but still, there were already so many things going on in that sequence with the servants taking the limelight, that the enchantress being there too was distracting as shit!!)
  • -> autotune, but it didn’t bother me that much
  • -> that in the year of our lord 2017 they still feel the need for the Beast to transform into a human (oh well lol)
  • -> I wanted Belle to sing “Home” from the Broadway musical, but I guess I’m never getting that wish!!

A few other things too, but I’d have to watch it again. I think I will do that.

Buffy: tvs —  Once More With Feeling  {Sentence Starters}

  • “Hey, I’ve died twice.”
  • “Thanks for noticing.”
  • “I’m under your spell.”
  • “It’s magic, I can tell.”
  • “Vengeance was mine!”
  • “Why can’t you let it go?”
  • “You make me complete!”
  • “You’re quite the charmer…”
  • “And I just want to be alive!”
  • “Look at me! I’m dancing crazy!”
  • “Hey, I’m not wearing underwear.”
  • “Cause, God knows, I’ll never tell!”
  • “I’ve got a theory that it’s a demon!”
  • “What can’t we face if we’re together?”
  • “She’s not even half the girl she… ow.”
  • “What’s this cheery singing all about?”
  • “I think I’ve paid more than my share…”
  • “Nothing here is real. Nothing here is right.”
  • “I’ve tried, but there’s these fears I can’t quell.”
  • “Still, I always feel the strange estrangement.”
  • “My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle!”
  • “Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes!”
  • “Because it clearly could get serious before it’s passed.”
  • “And I know there’ll come the day I’ll want to run and hide.”
  • “It didn’t seem so sad, though. I figured that was my place.”
  • “I was always brave and kind of righteous. Now, I find I’m wavering.”
  • “Just hoping no one knows that I’ve been going through the motions.”
  • “Every single night, the same arrangement. I go out and fight the fight.”
  • “Crawl out of your grave… you find this fight just doesn’t mean a thing.”
  • “Warm in the night when I’m right in her tight — Embrace! Tight embrace!”

anonymous asked:

Alex headcanons?

> fond of sushi

> still doesn’t sing often; only around ryland

> loves all animals

> actually suuuuper smart. like really intelligent

> used to be drunk all the time before he met ryland. sometimes attends AA meetings

> favorite flavor is vanilla

> despite his situation he leaves whatever change he can scrounge together in the cases of street musicians

> really clumsy. too much limb

> pansexual

> is best at displaying physical affection; loves contact with other people. but also good at saying how much he loves others

> in contrast, not good at bringing up his own worries. likes avoiding uncomfortable subjects about himself

> likes bright neon colors

> his favorite is when ryland leaves his hair down

> knows what it feels like to be estranged from the family so he does all he can to make sure ryland never feels the same

> his little “family” means the world to him

> always wanted a pet turtle. they just remind him of dinosaurs

> has a habit of feeding all the stray dogs and cats around the neighborhood. ryland’s given up trying to get him to stop.

> firmly believes there’s good in everyone

> takes a lot to make him angry, but once he is, all hell breaks loose

> not a good swimmer

> he attracts weird people but sees this as a good thing

Where do you see yourself in five years…..

Last weekend I hit the five year anniversary of when I started coming to Sleep No More. It might not be gold watch retirement, but it felt like a nice silver star on my mental calendar of dates.

I’ve chatted with people about the strange middle child status a few of us are sorted into- those of us who were not there right at the beginning, but have been around long enough to have a different perspective than people newer to the show, in terms of years and not shows attended. Time passes both slowly and insanely fast between my trips and I’ve watched the patterns of the fandom unfold every year: The earnestness of new fans. The resolve of the old fans. The strong personalities. The artists. The perennial victims. The hope and the heartbreak of a new contract cycle. The cynicism and anticipation around parties. We’re all in a loop, of course.

What did I get out of this last five years? I think that is an important question anyone giving any amount of repeated time, money, and emotional currency to a thing deserves to ask themselves. What am I learning from this? Is it hurting me or helping me?

The answers to those questions are fluid, but I have worked out some things:

1) The show has helped me realize that things I think are impossible today are totally possible tomorrow. Six years ago I read about Sleep No More and declared I would never make it to New York and to not even hope for it. That was my brain lying to me. Every time I set foot in the maze I remind myself of that.  

2)  I keep things excruciatingly close to my heart if it is important to me, and this is both a blessing and a curse. When someone asks how my show was I’ve become conditioned to hearing it as “I am testing you,” or “Please validate my Very Important Opinions so I can feel above you,” and so I’ve saved myself a lot of misery in being evasive, in not starting conversations, and in waiting to speak until spoken to. But I have also probably missed a lot of chances to connect with really great people.

3) ….But on the positive side of things, I’ve learned that when I do open myself up, that there are the most incredible people who are drawn to this show. I’ve met people who inspire and challenge me. Who encourage me and accept me. Who collaborate and plot with me. Friends I cannot imagine life without. I’ve met my best friend. I’ve met my muse. None of those things would have ever happened without buying a ticket and walking through those giant doors into the dark unknown.

4)  Art is fucking important. Protect and nurture it. I need to be in constant states of creation or inspiration to not fall into a deep well, and I appreciate the times the show stepped in to help me out.

I had a really good double last weekend. After months of feeling estranged from Fulton I finally got to hang out with him again. Thanks for that, Quinn.

As I left the bar it occurred to me that unlike my first trip, I was now heading to a restaurant with friends I’d met solely through the show and how great that felt. And that I still felt the pull to come back soon.  I don’t take it for granted the show will even be running in five more years, but I find myself excited for the possibilities. Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this path, returning to Manderley again and again.

Picture this: you’re at some drunken party downtown. There’s stale beer in one hand, the rim has your lipstick stain on it so now you’re worried that your mouth is looking patchy. You’re holding a slightly smoking cigarette in the other, but not taking it in because it makes you cough and you’re embarrassed that someone will see. You’re shuffling awkwardly to a song you don’t know the name of and you feel small and estranged. Like an island, like the last one to be picked on a sports team. Your friends are standing in dark corners now, talking to boys who want to touch their skin but not their souls and certainly not both at the same time. You’re standing there wondering if you’re ever going to feel less lonely, less like you’re standing on the precipice waiting for something that doesn’t want to come. You’re going to wrap your arms around yourself and take a sip of that stale beer. Then you’re going to go home at 3AM and crawl into your mother’s arms and cry all your empty out over her nightshirt.

Hold onto this thought: there is something glorious trembling at the very edge of your horizon. You are not your hollow nights, or your lack of self belief or all the times you kissed someone you didn’t even want to kiss. You’re not your one night stands or your endless string of boys who fucked you and left you. You’ll get your shit together, soon, maybe not today and maybe not even next year but you will. You’ll move out and you’ll call your parents on the weekends to tell them you love them. There’ll always be milk and eggs in the fridge. You’ll get a job that feels good. You’ll fall in love and he’ll kiss you like he means it and put his fingers in your mouth and it’ll feel like coming home. Everything will shift itself into place.

So you’re at this party and you’re terrified that you’re always going to feel like the word “missing” but take the feeling and swallow it. Take it between your open hands and close your fists around it. You’ve got more waiting for you.

—  Azra.T "Home"

anonymous asked:

another Iron Fist alternative that my friend (who is Asian American) and I are obsessed with thinking about: Iron Fist is like a third- or fourth-generation Chinese American, so instead of it being some fucking white guy, his feelings of estrangement and not belonging in this culture are instead about the third culture thing for kids of immigrants who feel that they don't fully belong in either place! So much more interesting, and still uses the "outsider" thing that everyone is defending

Yes! This! 100%!

It would be such a cool way to render a superhero story instantly, immediately relatable to a ton of real actual human beings.

Especially at this current moment in American culture, it would be RAD AS HELL to see.

anonymous asked:

A boring question but are there any placements that could indicate not getting along with siblings?

Yes!!

3rd house is the house of siblings and cousins, I think @ayyries saw in a book somewhere that 2nd house rules siblings too? I’m not really sure of the source

But I think some heavy energy in the 3rd house can more than likely be a correlation to not getting along with your siblings

I heard somewhere that adverse negative aspects to mercury and mercury retrograde can cause a bit of trouble with the siblings too

-Mars in 3rd: physically violent with siblings, may have gotten into a lot of fights and conflict with each other and that created a tension. this placement doesn’t always manifest this way, you could actually be protective of your siblings, like a guardian or warrior or they were to you.

-Saturn in 3rd: as someone with this placement, I can tell you it’s very true. saturn in 3rd usually gives older siblings (or none at all) who are controlling and somewhat strict on you. there’s a lot of feeling of distance from them, you’re in a restrictive bubble around them and you don’t feel like you can trust them, they feel more like parents than they do siblings. usually the relationship gets better with age, you start to appreciate your relation to them later on in your life.

-Uranus in 3rd: there is a unique energy with the siblings, you may have like step siblings or half siblings, your siblings are one of those who are completely related to you. you feel alienated to them, not often as emotionally connected as other siblings either. there’s an estranged feeling, even if biological related, you feel distant from each other, they constantly change. bit of rebels an probably have your parents a hard time following rules.

-Neptune in 3rd: you feel like you’re so distant from each other, there isn’t much conflict but more so deception and delusion. siblings who are out of touch to you, maybe you rarely see each other and you never feel like you connected to them. they are probably out of touch with reality, and each of you are in your own little world that you get so caught up in you forget you exist.

-Pluto in 3rd: my mentor has this placement and he has a couple of siblings, one of which actually stole his identity 30 years ago and went to prison, so this energy may not always manifest in a healthy way. this is a heavy energy in my opinion, your siblings are aware of deep importance to you or complete repulsion. you feel like they constantly transform themselves, they change and you keep asking yourself “are they really my sibling? they change so much.” you know how to manipulate each other in the sense of getting what you want from them. but not always a bad manifestation either, you may become each other’s look out and guards much like mars in 3rd

SEOKJIN SCENARIO FIRST DATE 

I was sitting while watching him cook, he was talking but his eyes were focused on the pan, sometimes he looked at me and smiled. I just smiled and nodded to everything he says, even his dad jokes. It was a estrange feeling have a date with him,  we meet each other when we were children cause our parents were friends since they were kids and of course we should be friends to, but that was a little difficult at first, we were really different, we still being different.
When we were kids our parents want us to be always together, so he could protect me but I wasn’t into the princes fairytales so I didn’t like that and also he didn’t wanted it to “Why should protect a warrior?” that was about that I loved sports, specially taekwondo so he called me “Warrior”.
When we grew a little the things didn’t get better, we were really friends even when we fought some times, it was our style, but we laughed, played, joked and did everything together, including our sibling and the children of our parents friends. Everything was right then, I knew if I was sad or needed something he was there for me even when he joked about how sometimes warriors need help too.
But that changed when we were knocked down by adolescence. He was some years older than me so he started to change, made new friends and we grew apart. He didn’t want to do things with me anymore, well he grew apart from all the childhood group, but I was the most hurt by that, I always had him by my side and suddenly he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I couldn’t process it well so I get really mad, so we grew more apart and I get even madder at him. And one day he moved to other town, his parents came to my house to say their last farewell but we didn’t talk to each other, I didn’t wanted to talk to him at that moment but I expected him to apologize or say goodbye but nothing happened…and I expended that night crying because I wasn’t able to say bye to him.
The time passed and I wasn’t mad anymore, but hurts that we ended like that.
High school passed for me too and collage arrived. It was the last vacations before start the last semester of my last collage year when my mother made a big party with her friends and there he was, taller, manlier than the little Seokjin that I had on my memories, but it didn’t changed anything for me, I was exited to him like I was every time he came to find me so we could play around. But at the same time it was different. But I wasn’t able to approach him. It was him who made the first movement.

“Long time no see warrior” he said suddenly by my side smiling, it was strange that that tall man had the same smile that the little Jin from my memories.

“Yes” It was the only coherent thing that I could say blushing a little bit.

“How have you been?”

“Well, I guess, average” I wasn’t able to look straight at him, I guess that people change but I was the same little girl, the one who fought with him, but that also liked him, that was the reason I get so mad when we become distant. He didn’t need me anymore back then and hurt me. And that little girl, even after all that time remained the same, but with less confidence, because everyone is brave when is a little kid.
“Do…Do you know who am I right?” he asked me, thinking that I didn’t recognize him.

“Of course I do,  Jin…Seokjin” I corrected myself, he didn’t want to be called Jin the last time I saw him.

“Jin is okay, Its good to see that you remember that little warrior” He smiled back at me and my heart fluttered. “My parents told me that you moved to the capital too” I nodded “Then we should meet again someday, I miss the old day, the good ones not the time I was an idiot” I looked at him surprised and he was smiling looking at me, and for the first time in a long time I did the same to him

“The  good old times, I like that” I nodded again “Yeah, why not, it can be fun”

Maybe fun doesn’t match at all. We meet again and talked a lot, started to joke again, and laugh together again, like if our puberty didn’t exist at all, and me liking him more. And there I was, sitting on his kitchen some months after, celebrating the end of my exams. And something else.  Because he confessed to me. Some days before he was walking me home and he just kissed me said that he wanted to be with me, that he was feeling like this since long ago, that he missed me even whe didn’t talk to each other this years, and that I was after all this time, his first love. And was crazy, I didn’t know what to do, I just remember that I smiled at him and kissed him again. He wanted to do something special, like an event so we can say “From today is our first day” but both of us were pretty simple, so he offered a lunch in his house. And like that we started dating and we were having our first date like this. It was confusing that the feeling of being confortable with my childhood friend was mixed with the feeling of be with a new yet old love. All was confusing. We are together since now. Or maybe we were a couple that just realized. Or I don’t know. I just know that I love that moment, I love him.

i am not me

i somehow
cannot be
who you
want me to be.
i feel
estranged
in my own forrest.
i am
lost
the directions unclear
and guidelines fuzzy
between my tears
and raging headaches.
my fists ache
and my chest heaves.
i somehow
cannot be
who you
want me to be.

2

“A fissure forms in the vessel. I’m cracking open.”

i. she’s just like the weather, can’t hold her together, daughter of the rain and snow ii. i am the son of a lost country, of a new world iii. don’t know where she belongs iv. cast not your stone at the wayward daughter v. more earnest than a promise kept, when all is lost only hope is left, what am i vi. i’m everything but i’m nothing at all vii. i feel estranged every now and then, fall asleep reading science fiction viii. omens telling me to follow the unknown, fire burning up inside, history untold ix. when one thing dies, something else can be created, though it’s truth you find it’s innocence you lose x. you don’t know me, never will, never will, i’m outside your picture frame and the glass is breaking now
                       listen

anonymous asked:

I hope in light of this episode, and how confessing to her blunder didn't blow up in her face, this means Star will be opening up to her parents more. Especially her mom. I think the reason she feels so distant and estranged from her is that they just don't really talk to each other, and they're both equally guilty of keeping secrets. And with Glossaryck gone, she's still going to need some support and guidance from people who love her.

Hopefully the “We’ll handle this” wasn’t a “we’re not telling the whole story and we know that Glossaryck is doing something weird”, but a genuine “parents help fixing what their kid messed up”

But, while happy and caring, they still looked a bit… weird, in this scene. There’s likely something going on. More secrets. Sigh.