Feburary 2

Things.

1) I’ve been feeling really bad about myself lately. I feel fat and undesirable and gross. This is mainly due to the fact that my period just ended and I’m PMSing. It also doesn’t help much that my depression is seriously kicking my butt and everyone and their mother seems to be getting married or having kids. However, it’s best I not compare myself to others. I should focus on me.

2) For Feburary I’m not weighing myself and this is causing me more anxiety than I thought. The scale makes me feel shit about myself and since I’ve started eating lower carb, I’ve noticed my body changing a bit. My pants are becoming looser. I’m a size down in panties. I’ve had people ask if I’m losing weight. It’ll be slow. I didn’t put this weight on in a few days. I won’t lose it in a few days. However, I weigh myself and get frustrate when the same three pounds pop back up or go away. No more of that.

3) Back on depression, I need to get back on my meds. I need to go to a doctor who I choose and I need to start therapy. I need to start living my life. Doing things. Not just sitting in my room and watching netlifx everything after work like I have been.

4) I need to start doing things for me. Starting school. Getting my own place. Making friends. 

I got this. 

I’m rambling now.