Fatherhood

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I had this conversation on Facebook. I think there’s this knee-jerk reaction we have to anything that happens “too much”. And in today’s world, with the technology we have, pretty much anything good that happens runs the risk of eventually happening too much. 

The concept of taking a picture of your food is not inherently bad. Social media is not inherently bad. Don’t shun your children, or anyone else, for doing something out of joy. 

Rather than judging someone else for their joy, spend time finding your own joy. 

Bruce's four stages of fatherhood

Stage one
When Dick first arrived and a shout, scream or crash disrupted the quiet of the manor Bruce was up and out of his chair. He was pretty sure he had gone into Tacycardia as he yelled for Alfred whilst running to the boy’s aid.

Stage two
Jason came along. Whenever the momentary quiet was disrupted by shouts, screams or crashes, Bruce’s pulse still rose significantly. Rising from his chair he went off in search of his sons to see what the problem was. He’d call for Alfred if required i.e broken bones.

Stage three
Tim joined the clan but by now Bruce had mellowed slightly. The sporadic quiet of the manor was interrupted by shouts, screams or crashes, he would lower his paper and call out if everything was alright. If he got a reply he’d remain where he was, only moving if the noise continued. On occasion, he called Alfred.

Stage four.
Shouts, screams, crashes and death threats no longer are a just cause to move Bruce from his chair. By the time Damian comes along, the man merely sighs and adds a shot of whiskey to his coffee and pretends his name’s not ‘BRRRRRUCE!!!’
And it definitely not ‘BRRUCE MAKE HIM STOP!!!’

Now it is the silence that sends Bruce into heart failure. There’s nothing more terrifying than a deathly silence when he knows all four of his sons are home and awake. Like seriously, it’s what he hallucinates when Scarecrow gives him a dose of Fear Toxin nowadays. Silence.

Within seconds Bruce is up and scouring the manor, terrified of what on earth the boys are up to this time. Alfred is already on the hunt.

Last time the manor was quiet?
Tim had made a replica of the Death Star - with lasers- apparently he wanted authenticity.

11 Images That Capture The True Beauty Of Black Fatherhood -  By Lilly Workneh of The Huffington Post

Too often, black fathers are either subjected to harmful stereotypes or held to unrealistically high expectations and aren’t offered the leisure of living life without falling victim to these tropes.

“Why can’t we just be everyday men? Affectionate, loving and present… somehow people fail to realize this exists,” photographer Zun Lee told The Huffington Post. “Seeing black people just being is a powerful act.”

Too many archetypes of black fathers in the media portray these men as aggressive and absent. To combat these notions, Lee focuses his work on the various complexities of black fatherhood.

Over the last four years, Lee has produced more than 12,000 photos, all of them based on black fatherhood. His work features some of the most intimate images of fatherhood that, collectively, send a strong message that pushes back against the negative assumptions about black fathers.

“Black people are expected to be supernatural and it’s a dangerous narrative and I’m rebelling against that. For us to be respectable, we have to perfect,” Lee said.

“Many men fall through the cracks. Many of these men aren’t married or live at home but these very men negotiate the notion of presence in a very meaningful way.”

Lee, a biracial man who had a rocky relationship with his own father, grew up around black men who helped discipline and raise him as a child, Lee said. For him, these men became father figures and inspired him to continue creating work that challenges the portrayal of fatherhood in a very fluid and realistic way.

“Black fathers are no different than other fathers,” Lee said. “We don’t need to owe an explanation or say that we deserve better treatment, we are not criminal. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone. We are human. We’re not on trial here.”

Whether his work captures a father’s long, loving gaze to his child, or their hands clasped to symbolize protection and presence, Lee’s focus on these specific moments of love and affection is what makes his imagery so relatable.

“I’m not here to refute, explain or justify anything,” Lee said. “If you don’t get it, it’s fine. And when people demand an explanation, that’s not for me to give.”

Read More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/21/black-fatherhood-zun-lee_n_7631192.html

Related Article: The Huffington Post by huffingtonpost - Tumblr

Who’s the daddy? Paternity can now be verified by a simple test – but that doesn’t mean it should be - Melanie McDonagh for the Spectator

By contrast, the old situation, in which women presented men with a child, and the man either did the decent thing and offered support, or made a run for it, allowed women a certain leeway. The courtesan in Balzac who, on becoming pregnant, unhesitatingly sought, and got, maintenance from two of her men friends, can’t have been the only one. Uncertainty allows mothers to select for their children the father who would be best for them.

[…]Our generation sets a good deal of store by certain knowledge. And DNA tests have obvious advantages when it comes to identifying less happy elements of our heredity: congenital disease, for instance. But in making paternity conditional on a test rather than the say-so of the mother, it has removed from women a powerful instrument of choice. I’m not sure that many people are much happier for it.

Just in case you were wondering; at no point does Mels here show that she gives even half a crap about the man who’s tricked into raising someone else’s kid, or what he would choose.