• Newt Scamander: Magical creatures? No I haven't seen any- *trips and ten bowtruckles fall out of sleeve* oh those aren't mine I'm just holding them for a friend- *frantically tries to pick them up, niffler falls out of back pocket* right, if you'll just let me explain- *turns around and three murtlaps, a herd of erumpets, one litter of curps and the entirety of New York's dog pound fall out of his coat* LISTEN-
Fandoms
  • Doctor Who: guys what was that sound?
  • Supernatural: should we get the salt?
  • Marvel: wait it sounds familiar
  • Merlin: I think it's...
  • Hannibal: it's not
  • DC: it can't be
  • Game of Thrones: it is...
  • Fandoms: no
  • Tumblr: no
  • World: no
  • Donald Trump: no
  • Geese: no
  • Sherlock: *bursts through door*
  • All fandoms: *screams of terror*
  • Supernatural: *flings holy water*
  • Harry Potter: they've awoken...
  • Sherlock: miss me ;)?
fandoms doing their thing
  • naruto fandom: yelling about which female character is the worstest
  • bleach fandom: angrily hissing at themselves and each other and being super salty over really little things
  • one piece fandom: sobbing into a pillow about whatever the hell's going on with sanji
  • fairy tail fandom: alternating between which ship they feel like fighting about and getting angry at cleavage
  • attack on titan fandom: explodes once a month in a burst of glory before immediately forgetting it ever existed
  • steven universe fandom: everything is problematic except what i like
  • jojo's bizarre adventure fandom: spent the last 29 years trying to figure out the plot; still hasn't gotten anywhere
  • yuri!!! on ice fandom: so gay very homosexual much wow
  • gravity falls fandom: slowly sinking into an existential crisis (possibly five existential crises)
  • my hero academia fandom: anxiously quadruple-checking saisai-chan's blog to see if there's anything new
  • yu-gi-oh! fandom: probably still confused about pot of greed??? idk lots of memes about hair
  • puella magi madoka magica fandom: crying about gays
  • ouran high chool host club fandom: pressed up against the window like creepers but no one notices
  • fullmetal alchemist fandom: but is it legal in japan????? no??? how about germany????? how about germany in 1912?????
  • pokémon fandom: still trying to catch 'em all
  • danganronpa fandom: all your faves are dead
  • game of thrones fandom: all your faves are dead or suffering
  • lord of the rings fandom: may or may not have ceased to exist altogether
  • doctor who fandom: hiding from the supernatural and sherlock fandoms
  • supernatural fandom: hiding from the sherlock and doctor who fandoms
  • sherlock fandom: hiding from the doctor who and supernatural fandoms
  • superwholock fandoms: sitting in a dark room, rubbing their hands together, and giggling maniacally
  • harry potter fandom: desperately awaiting the sweet release of death (or the next fantastic beasts movie)
  • hayao miyazaki fandom: anime was a mistake
  • voltron fandom: obsessing over keith, lance, klance, pidge's gender identity, shiro's ptsd, and allura's allura
  • rwby fandom: watching the bumbleby and black sun fans viciously circling each other like angry coyotes
  • dragon ball fandom: very tired at this point
  • abridged fandom: y u no update
  • star vs. the forces of evil fandom: the most passive aggressive ship warring i've ever seen tbh
  • avatar fandom: still bitching about zutara and makkora i guess idk
  • buffy the vampire slayer fandom: peering out from behind trees, probably waiting for the sun to sink
  • avengers fandom: either bickering about tony stark, screaming at sharon carter's existence, or dead inside
  • durarara!! fandom: fuck fascinating characters, development, and story; i want unhealthy gays
  • baccano! fandom: softly sobbing in the distance
  • warrior cats fandom: trying to pretend they never existed to begin with
  • rick riordan fandom: has either read every single thing he's ever written or gave up years ago
  • rave master fandom: sniggering as the fairy tail fandom loses its shit again
  • twilight fandom: rewriting the series so it doesn't suck as much and/or making cactus jokes
  • over the garden wall fandom: listening to "into the unknown" and sobbing
  • discworld fandom: secure in their superior sense of humor but sad because a great man has left us
  • a series of unfortunate events fandom: aggressively glowering at anything related to the movie
  • seven deadly sins fandom: confused af right now
  • vamp! fandom: has the best vampires ever created and fucking knows it
  • seraph of the end fandom: thinks they have the best vampires ever created (and are incorrect bc vamp! exists)
  • his dark materials fandom: making dæmons for themselves, their ocs, and literally anybody
  • star trek fandom: speaking in kling-on or whatever
  • star wars fandom: kylo ren discourse
  • miraculous ladybug fandom: arguing over which of four ships is the best even though they're all the same two people
  • thomas sanders fandom: deeply in love with thomas sanders bc it's really hard not to be
What My Phone Corrects Rogue One Characters To (AKA their actual names..)
  • Baze Malbus: Blaze Malays
  • Chirrut Imwe: Chirrup I'm Wee
  • Bodhi Rook: Body Rook
  • Mon Mothma: Mom Mother
  • Bail Organa: Ball Organs
  • Darth Vader: Death Evader
  • Galen Erso: Gallon Ergo
  • Jyn Erso: Juan Ergo
  • Cassian Andor: Casual Ardor
  • Orson Krennic: Person Ironic