some good consent phrases

“May I hug you?”

“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”

“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”

“How do you feel about (x activity)?”

“I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m really glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). Thank you.”

“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”

(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”

(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”

“Can I vent a little about (x)?”

“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”

“Are you comfortable talking about it?”

“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”

“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”

“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)

Consent culture - it’s about way more than just sex!

Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.

Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met - remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.

A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and being refused consent is a healthier and safer person.

  • Aaron: "Distributing indecent images of a child"? She's still a kid herself.
  • Policewoman: You filmed and shared footage of your young friend when she were vulnerable and drunk.
  • Liv: Yeah, she told me to.
  • Robert: But Liv's taken it down and she's said she's sorry.
  • Liv: Yeah, I am really sorry, but it was just a laugh, and anyway, Gabby's the...
  • Chas: It won't happen again.
  • Policeman: If it does then we'll have to proceed with charges.
  • Aaron: (scoffs) What, you'd treat her the same as some sick old perv?
  • Policewoman: When the wrong people get hold of this sort of footage, they don't care who posted it.
  • Policeman: Which is why we have to, to stop it.
  • Robert: What happens to Liv?
  • Policeman: For now, a warning. For the indecent footage and the underage drinking. But if she's involved in anything like this again, she could possibly serve time and have a criminal record.
  • Liv: All right, I get it, thanks.
  • Policeman: Good.
  • Robert: Come on, I'll show you out.

Family signs

Both hands are in an F hand shape. Start with the thumbs and index fingers touching and palms facing slightly outwards. Then move the hands around in a circle (a motion found in many group signs) so that the pinkies end up touching with palms facing inwards. 

Signs (noun): both hands make S hand shapes with palm directed towards the signer and then open and close slightly while making small alternate vertical circles in front of the signer. 

Family Signs in ASL - American Sign Language

  • Liv: I can't believe she told the police on me.
  • Chas: Gabby? No, she's been half.comatose most of the night thanks to the booze you nicked.
  • Liv: Well, it was one of her mums then, whoever told 'em. She's embarrassed herself and she's trying to blame me.
  • Chas: Aaron!
  • Aaron: Yeah. Knock it off, right? Start using this. (points at her head)
  • Liv: Don't worry, I won't be doing her any more favours. Are you dropping me off at school, or...?
  • Aaron: Yeah, go on.
  • Liv: okay.
  • (Liv leaves)
  • Chas: Is that it? She doesn't see how bad this is.
  • Aaron: She made a mistake.
  • Chas: Yeah, so did I. I shouldn't have trusted her and given her the benefit of the doubt because she just shoved it straight back in my face.
  • Aaron: Well, she said she's sorry.
  • Chas: Barely. And only because she got caught. Aaron, she is running rings round us.
  • Aaron: So what are you saying, Mum, you want her to get charged?
  • Chas: No, I want you to wake up.
  • Aaron: I know what I'm doing, all right? Just leave it.