Ex Love

This is probably just me but I love when Victor spins… like… have you ever just looked at him when he’s spinning? The way his hair just kinda…. swooshes??? anndd,, uuhhHHH,,?? and his expressions??? ju s t,,,,,,, hhHH

i mean…. wow, he’s very??? beautiful?????

I miss you, I don’t have a best friend anymore, sure I have close friends, but no one is there like we were for each other. I hope you miss me too.
—  give me a call

dear someone,

i have so many questions i want to ask you but just don’t know how. and because i know for a fact that my voice would break and tears would start streaming down my face if i were to ask you in person, i am writing you this letter. furthermore, i don’t think that you would even listen to me. these days you seem to be ignoring me as if i’m your worst enemy.

how? that would be my first question.
how was it so easy for you to go? to just leave me and not even look back.
why?
why would you leave and why would you leave like that? no explanation. no real goodbye. nothing.
was it even real? what we had, i mean. was it? because i’ve been dreaming so much about you lately that it seems like i can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.

love, i wish you didn’t shatter my heart. i wish you didn’t make all these promises just to break them. i wish that you could have been honest with me from the beginning. honest about your intentions and your feelings for me.
the last time we were standing in front of each other, looking into your brown eyes made my knees go weak and my heart beat faster. how can someone feel so much and the other just not? i guess i’ll never know because i tend to give people all of me. always. with you it was no different. i gave you all of me, made you my favourite person in this shitty world and hoped that i would be your favourite too.

but this is farewell, my love. i hope that a part of you never forgets me. no matter how important i really was to you. i hope that wherever life takes you, it takes you someplace happy. you deserve it, i’m sure of that.

Love always,
e.

—  e.s. // dear someone.
“I can’t give you anything. You deserve better than that.”

I looked down at the floor with teary eyes, whispering softly, “I never wanted you to give me anything. I just wanted you.”

—  I still do