Everything just hurts

anonymous asked:

Your favorite 304 Clexa scene tonight??

THE LAST ONE!!! I love how vulnerable Lexa was and just EVERYTHING. It hurt my soul how hurt Lexa looked after Clarke said, “I was just doing what was right for my people.” when Lexa thanked her for backing her. She isn’t even able to keep eye contact with Clarke. She is afraid Clarke will see through her. See through her and how she hoped that it was more than just Clarke’s people that made Clarke stand up for her. Clarke had said somethings that made her think Clarke cared about her personally and not just because of her position. But, maybe she was wrong. Maybe Clarke will never forgive or love her the same way she loves Clarke. Lexa is the one that pledged fealty to Clarke, while Wanheda pledged fealty to the Commander. Maybe Clarke only cares for her because of her position and not her as a person. Maybe that is why she wants her to live. Maybe Clarke will never forgive her and will only ever see her as the Commander and never Lexa again. 

But, I think one of my favorite moments was when Clarke realizes EVEN MORE how good of a person Lexa is. Clarke asks her how she can move forward from her ambassadors betraying her, and Lexa’s reply was, “They were doing what they believed was right for their people too.”  

Clarke actually gets lost in Lexa’s eyes. She is looking at her with such awe, admiration, and care. She sees how Lexa looks past her personal vengeance and does what is right for ALL of her people. Lexa forgives the Ambassadors because she realizes they love their people; just like Lexa loves hers. This is also Clarke self reflecting on how Lexa’s betrayal was like the Ambassador’s…it wasn’t personal, it was for her people. Clarke stares at Lexa with such a “how are you even real?” look, and then she realizes how intense the moment is and she draws herself out of it. She draws herself out of it and quickly says, “Goodnight, Commander” before she does something in the heat of the moment. (bc holy shit Lexa is hot and adorable and so amazing and she love you will all of her being). She says ‘commander’ and not Lexa to try to distance herself emotionally from Lexa in the moment. 

I loved the long pause Lexa gives as she stands up and gazes into Clarke’s eyes, with such love and care, and says after a brief while “Goodnight, Ambassador.” Even if Clarke’s motive was political and not personal, it still helped save Lexa’s life. I think that Clarke told Lexa about Roan saying that he wouldn’t kill Nia but if she could…he wouldn’t be against it. I think that this was one of the things Lexa was thanking Clarke for. She was thanking her for finding out about Ontari and approaching Roan about him being king. If Lexa won her duel against Roan – killing him – Nia would still be alive and probably try to kill her and replace her with Ontari. 

I think another favorite moment is how Clarke said “Good night. Commander.” in Trigedasleng, and Lexa said “Good night. Ambassador.” in English. This was a respectful gesture, and at the same time caring gesture from both of them. I can’t help but think that they both know that this ‘Good night’ is a ‘not yet’.