Many, many thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for all of her help, listening to me bounce ideas off her, ramble on about what I wanted to write and mostly, the beta-ing. You are awesome! :)
“Erin.” Voight breathing her name in relief was what snapped her attention up from the linoleum floor of the ER where she had been staring for the better part of the past 30 minutes.
Her senses suddenly came crashing back to her; the sounds of the busy hospital, the smell of the alcohol being swabbed at her skin, the sight of bright white lights of the room and the feel of heat on her arm as she was being stitched. Only taste remained, but as she couldn’t taste blood, she counted herself lucky.
Voight was in front of her within four steps, causing her to crane her neck up from her position on the edge of the bed. “How bad is it?”
Erin blinked a couple of times as she forced herself to interpret his words and come up with a reply. “It’s just a graze,”
He nodded, peering at the two neat lines of black stitches on her left bicep before catching her eyes again. “And Jay?”
Erin shook her head, feeling her eyes begin to fill once again even as she willed herself not to cry. Not again. Not here. “It’s bad, Hank,” she whispered, her voice coming out shakily and rougher than she would like. Shaking her head, her eyes drifted back to the floor, unable to look at Voight as she spoke lest she broke down. “He crashed twice on the way here. They- they took him straight up to surgery after they got him stable. Will’s up there waiting.”
“Erin-” he began, but when she failed to look up, she felt him shift until he was eye level with her, claiming her attention with a warm hand upon hers on the examination table. Erin had barely noticed how they had cleaned up her hands with warm water to make sure she didn’t have any other injuries. “Hey, look at me, kiddo,” Voight demanded, and she slowly did as he said. “Your partner is nothing if not stubborn. He’s a fighter, okay? He’s not going to let this beat him.”
“You didn’t see him, you don’t know that! They got him three times and I couldn’t-” she broke off, taking in a ragged breath and willing herself to calm down so not to remember all the red, warm, sticky blood she had had the worst time trying to control until the EMTs had reached them.
- Set during 4x21 where Erin hesitates and gets shot rather than shooting the boy. Based on a prompt from @really-its-tiffany. Let me know what you think!
The gunshots were still ringing in her ears as she ran, away from Jay and away from the credit union and towards one of the perps in a black mask and a black bodysuit, her feet pounding rhythmically on the sidewalk and her weapon held at arm’s length out in front of her, her aim never faltering. She was vaguely aware of the sirens and the other police cars which was sure to be the backup her partner had requested up in the security room but most of the suspects had fled and all that remained was the one Jay had under control in the middle of the street a ways behind her now, and this one, right here, still struggling to get away from her.
So both @cpdcfcmed7410 and I received requests to write a follow up scene for 4x15 and well, being besties, we decided to combine our writing styles and do a one shot together. Hope you enjoy it! You can also find it here:
“You about ready to go?” Erin asked Jay, rubbing her hands together as she made her way back into the bullpen from outside. She still couldn’t believe the audacity of Scrap. She’d busted her ass to get his brother off and he acted like an ungrateful ass.
“Yeah, just give me five,” Jay replied, barely looking up from the paperwork he was hurriedly filling in. He was anxious to get out of here tonight, more so then usual. He had negotiations to get under way.
Erin went and sat in her chair, not bothering to take her coat off since they’d be leaving in a minute and she’d already finished up for the day before she sprung Scrap. Leaning back, she let her gaze fall across the isle and watched Jay work. The hunch of his shoulders stretched the fabric of his shirt as he leaned forward over his desk. She knew exactly how warm and smooth the skin was there. She knew her lips fit perfectly in the curves between his muscles and shoulder blades. She knew she could draw a line of kisses eight freckles long from behind his ear to the curve of his arm. He absentmindedly bit at the corner of his lip as he concentrated and Erin licked her lips unconsciously as she imagined the feel of his teeth gently sinking into her lip instead. Her belly tightened as her eyes fell on his arms, knowing exactly where his veins bulged from exertion as he held his weight off her when he lay over her. Goosebumps rose on her skin imagining his strong hands playing over her body.
Her eyes continued to wander over his features, daydreaming. When she refocused on his head, she was no longer staring at the semi trained waves on top that she knew tightened into unruly curls when wet but into the blue of Jay’s eyes. They were dancing with amusement as a smirk spread across his face. She felt her cheeks redden, knowing full well the cocky bastard had caught her fantasizing about him.
“I’m ready when you are,” Jay chuckled, suggestively raising his eyebrows at her.
Erin rolled her eyes at him but she didn’t suppress her smile as she got to her feet. “Good because I’m starving!”
“Of course you are,” he laughed. “Where am I taking you for dinner?”
“Wait, you’re buying?” She teased in mock surprise.
“Yup, whatever you want.” He replied smugly.
“Hmm, in that case,” Erin tried to think of the most expensive restaurant they’d be allowed into wearing jeans.
“Oh no,” Jay said with a mix of humour and apprehension.
Erin laughed again as she made her way ahead of Jay down the stairs, affording him the opportunity to let his eyes roam over her backside, appreciating her curves the way she’d been doing to him moments ago.
He couldn’t wait to get his negotiations started. He half expected her to say no when he’d all but reduced himself to begging to have first go at driving their new rig. It had been worth the grovelling though. So worth it. And now that he’d had a taste he felt it necessary to renegotiate the terms of their partnership. He wasn’t going to insist he drive from now on, he couldn’t expect her to give up that kind of control, nor did he want to take that from her. If he were completely honest it was kind of hot his girl was such a badass behind the wheel. But he didn’t see anything wrong with them splitting the driving. He knew she felt safe with him, trusted him. Surely she would see the fairness in sharing the driving fifty-fifty? Of course he’d make sure to properly thank her during the negotiations too.
When the waiter finished pouring the glasses of wine Jay suggested they order, forgoing the pints of beer they usually opted for, Jay held up his glass. Erin cocked her head to the side, amused, but raised her glass to toast with him.
“Thanks Angel,” he said tipping his glass against hers with a wink, knowing she’d understand he was appreciative of getting to drive the truck earlier tonight. Erin laughed out loud. The raspy tone always made his heart beat speed up.
“You’re welcome grasshopper,” she replied cheekily.
Jay made a face at her. He wasn’t sure he liked this new nickname but he’d play along if it got him what he wanted.
They teased and bantered over dinner, unwinding from the intensity of the day. Jay loved this time with Erin, when they transitioned from partners to lovers with their easy friendship bridging the two. It was sometimes difficult keeping things professional and focused on the job but it was always easy coming home together.
It wasn’t hard to watch Erin slowly lick the chocolate cake from her fork as she savoured every bite of their shared dessert either. God he loved the way this woman appreciated food. He was also getting anxious to get home.
After paying they headed out. In the car Jay decided to start negotiations. “So I was thinking,” he started, letting his fingers softly dance across her thigh as she drove.
“Oh yea,” she said giving him a sideways glance and a smirk.
“Yea. You trust me, so I was thinking we should at least split driving fifty-fifty,” he said letting his fingers dance closer between her legs.
She smacked his hand away trying to focus as she drove. “Yea I dunno about that,” she said holding in her smile.
“Erin,” he started but refused to beg again. “I’ll make it worth it and you know it,” he said squeezing her thigh as she looked for a parking spot outside the apartment.
Erin slightly chuckled as she parked. He was right. While everyone thought she wore the pants in the relationship, Jay dominated in the bedroom. And really their relationship was fifty-fifty like it’s supposed to be. Maybe it was time she let everyone see that because she did trust him.
As they got out and headed in she said, “What do I get for fifty-fifty driving?” she asked.
Jay leaned down and whispered in her ear exactly what he planned to do to her. Erin let out a shiver as she bit her lip. “We’ll see,” she winked as they headed up.
Once inside the apartment, Jay pushed her back against the door and kissed her hard. He left her breathless as she held on to his neck. “I’m just getting started,” he whispered picking her up and carrying her to bed.
Erin squealed and giggled as he tossed her on the bed before stripping. He knew she’d been admiring him earlier while he finished paperwork so he’d let her get a good look before he properly thanked her.
He knew she was totally turned on by the time he was completely naked and crawling over her kissing.
“Patience Erin,” he whispered, kissing her lips.
Erin arched up, her jeans and sweater rubbing all over him. He pushed her back to the bed. “Patience,” he said again making her growl.
He slowly stripped her, worshipping her body with kisses as he went. Once he had her naked, he sat back on his heels just admiring her body. “So….. about driving fifty-fifty,” he whispered, his fingers softy trailing over her thighs and hips as he used his knees to spread her open.
“I dunno,” she said watching him as she tried to lay still. “Make it worth it, and we’ll talk,” she smirked.
“Oh it’ll be worth it,” he said kissing her hard. He put her hands above her head on her pillow. “Do not move them,” he said.
Erin just watched him, panting for breath, as he kissed down her body. He grabbed her hips giving them a gentle squeeze as he eyed her up and down.
He loved the effect he had on her, loved that he did this to her. “You will say yes,” he smirked before blowing a breath across her.
Erin wiggled and he grabbed her hips holding her still. “Don’t move,” he said again. He held her hips as he slowly lowered himself to the bed.
“Jay,” she panted knowing he was going to do exactly what she loved to get his way.
“You’re an angel,” he whispered before his tongue snuck out and licked her up. Erin’s hips arched, a moan escaped, and her hands came down to tug his hair.
Jay pulled back making her moan and toss her head; “I said don’t move,” he said moving her hands back.
A whimper escaped her lips and he knew he had her. “I mean it Erin, don’t move,” he said getting a nod from her.
He pinned her hips again before slowly licking her once more. “Jay,” she moaned as he did it again.
“Say yes,” he whispered keeping his tongue moving super slow just savoring her.
Erin just grunted moving her hands back to his hair and tugging. Jay immediately stopped again and put her hands back. “Don’t make me cuff you,” he whispered nipping at her ear.
“Fuck,” she panted arching against him.
Jay smirked as he slowly kissed back down her body setting her on fire. “So wet,” he whispered slowly licking again and letting his tongue lazily circle her clit.
Erin whimpered and moaned, her head tossing side to side at his torture. “Say yes Erin. Say you trust me enough,” he whispered slowly doing it again.
“Jay,” she whimpered, her hips arching as he pushed them back down.
“Say it,” he whispered nipping the inside of her thigh.
“Yes, God yes, please,” she moaned.
Jay smiled and placed a soft kiss on her clit. “Yes what?” he whispered ,spreading her lips wide to him.
“You can drive. I trust you,” she panted as she locked her eyes on him.
“I know you do,” he smiled before his lips locked over her clit and he sucked hard. He didn’t let up even though her hands made it back to his hair, tugging. He sucked and flicked her never letting up.
She tugged hard on his hair letting him know she was about to come as she moaned his name over and over. He slid two fingers in her still sucking her clit and she exploded moaning and screaming his name.
He licked her up letting his fingers rest in her as she rode it out. As she caught her breath he slowly eased his fingers out and kissed on her. “You’re an angel,” he whispered again kissing her lips.
“Your angel,” she smiled locking her legs around him. Jay kissed her hard as he slid into her.
“My angel. My Erin,” he panted.
She nodded, her eye glassy from their love making and her love for him, being surrounded in his love. “Don’t hold back,” she whispered just needing him.
Jay buried his face in her neck, his control slipping from needing her all day. Thoughts of taking her in the truck having floated through his head. He kissed and sucked on the sensitive spots on her neck as he thrust hard and fast.
Erin held on knowing this was exactly how the night would end after letting him drive, needing it just as much as him. She arched into him, squeezed him, kept him going until they were both teetering on the edge. “I’m gonna come,” she panted arching up hard.
Jay’s moan was the only answer she needed that he would too. She arched up again and squeezed him tight sending them both into oblivion.
It took several minutes for them to come down and he snuggled her after. “You really are an angel,” he whispered, making her giggle as they basked in the afterglow.
“You’re welcome grasshopper,” she giggled as he groaned, snuggling her close.
Since the show have deprived us of the important little things, such as how Jay and Erin are adjusting to being separated, I thought i’d come up with some head canons.
Though Erin has her bed back to herself, she still can’t seem to move over a little more to Jay’s side. During their time together she was able to decrease the amount of pillows she used, but now with Jay gone, the bed feels so much bigger, and she found herself bringing all her pillows back
Jay never packed enough clothes for the amount of time that he’s been away, but he couldn’t face going back home, (not until he knew it would be for good) to pack more things, so he found himself borrowing a shirt or two from Will, buying a couple of new ones, and having to do a lot laundry
Car rides are getting better than when he first left. Before they’d sit in silence, but now, they occasionally put the radio on in the background, and talk about trivial things like the weather, sports, or anything that they think is safe
After the case, when Erin helped Hank in front of the review board, Erin went back to the station. She told Jay, “good bust” and he said, “you know, you’re pretty good as boss. Kinda hot too.” That got a smile out of her, and for a split moment they were able to forget
Once, after a case, Jay asked Erin what she wanted for dinner without thinking. He was so used to doing that after they left the station every night, he did it out of habit
Jay’s been spending more time with his brother, and Kevin and Adam after work. On his days off he goes to his meetings, the gym, and now he is seeing a therapist. He doesn’t know if he’ll stick the therapist out, he hates talking about himself and his past, but he’s willing to try
Erin still makes two coffees in the morning, one for her, and one for Jay out of habit. She leaves it on the side for him
The team have been supportive during this time. Kim told Erin that if she needed to talk that she could call her. Kevin and Adam told Jay that they knows he’s not big on talking about feelings, but they have his back if he needs it. Alvin patted Jay on the back after a case, and told him that he knew he always had people rooting for him
Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader (Reader is a Reagan)
Word Count: 835
Request: None; I just really love these two shows and haven’t written nearly enough Barba on this blog.
A/N: This took forever to write, so my apologies if it’s lacking in some places. Expect more SVU/Blue Bloods crossovers, actually crossovers in general, but they’re really fun to write! x
From the moment Rafael Barba waltzed into the SVU squad room, freshly-pressed suit and all, you knew you would have problems with him. He was arrogant, brash, and just downright obnoxious. It was like having another older brother, but worse.
For months, you barely spoke with Barba, only talking about cases and making small talk on occasions. You had nothing to talk about, other than your sister, his boss. He loved Erin, always speaking highly of her. It was the only time you saw him genuinely emotive, and surprisingly, it wasn’t fake. You swore that he had feelings for her in a romantic way, which bugged you. The fact that it bugged you made your hatred for Barba even stronger, recognizing what that feeling of irritation could soon entail.
Zara: “Unfortunately I can’t. I’m going to Bridgeport with my mum to pick my dad up at the airport. He’s finally coming home from that terrible mission.”
Sally: “Aww, I’m so happy for you! No more fear!”
Zara: “No more stress, no more fear. He’ll be home, safe and sound.”
Erin: “What about you, Sally? Are you going with me?”
Sally: “Aww sorry, it’s no from me as well! I promised my sister to take care of her kids over the weekend. In fact, I should run home as fast as I can because Gina will be there in less than an hour.”
I decided to take the ideas from the plot of 4.22 and merge it into the story with my own take… very much inspired by a lot of the discussions I saw about how things may have been different if it had been Jay struggling with this case….
Character(s): Erin Lindsay, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead
Summary: Erin was still upset with Jay, but when working on a case, Erin gets shot by pushing jay out of the way of the bullet, who get’s hit but is severely injured who might not make that’s when jay realizes that he can’t live without her, when Erin starts to feel better, they both reunite.
Word count: 2700
Warnings: some minor cussing, some fluff
Erin was sitting at her desk,twirling her pen listing to voight and the others go over the case. She was still upset with Jay that night, they both had a heated arguement and said some things that hurt both of them. She was in her own little world when, Voight started to call her name.
“Erin..Erin” he said her name in his gruff tone, she looked up and shook her head, “yeah.” she answered him, with a short tone.
Voight looked at her and stuck his tongue in his bottom jaw, looking at the rest of the squad, “alright..let’s get this son of the bitch..suit up and roll out in ten” They all nodded their head and went to go get suited up.
“Erin in my..office now..” he growled,Erin sighed and followed his instructions and headed into his office. He was right behind her and closed the door and turned to face Erin with his arm’s crossed in-front of him.
Jay was walking up the steps to grab something, when he saw Erin in Voight’s office, he kept starring at her, he wanted to talk to her but he couldn’t right now. He looked away before she looked over to him, he grabbed his gun and headed quickly back down the steps and out to where the other’s were waiting.
Voight looked at Erin, knowing she wasn’t in her right mind going on this manhunt. “you’re not going..I hate to do this..but you’re not going im pulling you off this case” Voight told her, while shifting himself so he was leaning against the door frame. Erin gave him and look and fixed her posture and stood up straight.
“i’m just fine to go on this case to catch this sick bastard..” she started get a little loud while pointing to her chest, trying to make a point to Voight.
He looked down, “well you’re not going and that’s final..you’re not in your right mind..Erin.” he paused, “i’m just trying to look out for you” She sighed and looked to Voight.
“i’m going to go on this case, and i’m going to catch him..showing im in my right mind to do this..and nothing happened alright..” Erin knew he was going to ask if something happened to cause her not to act right. Voight sighed and opened the door for her. Erin gave him one last look, before grabbing her jacket and bullet proof vest off her chair and walked down the steps.
*in the car*
Normally Jay and Erin ride together, but not this time Erin rode with Burgess and Jay rode with Antonio. Erin was looking out her window while, Burgess drove behind the others following the directions that they were given at the address for the man.
Burgess cleared her throat, while looking over once and a while to see Erin still silent. “so do you have any plans for tonight” she asked, Erin smiled softly over to her, “nah not really maybe go home..and just have myself some wine.” Burgess smiled, “that sound’s really nice actually.” Erin smiled, “what about you anything special Burgess.”
Burgess smiled the biggest grin that Erin has ever seen, “i have a date tonight” Erin perked up and smiled, “really with who” Burgess smiled softly, “i really can’t say..” Burgess frowned, “its with a coworker, which i know is against the rule-” Erin stopped her right there. “who cares what Voight’s rules say, if you really love the person or really like go for it Burgess, i’ll cover you.” She smiled and softly spoke “thank you.”
*at the suspects house*
They finally parked outside the house, that they were going in, Erin drew out her gun along with Burgess and the others. Voight signaled, for Burgess and Erin to go around back.
Erin and Burgess checked the back of the house and the yard, couldn’t find anything thing that lead them to believe that the man wasn’t there. Before Erin could say clear, a gunshot rung out and hit Erin right in the chest, where the bullet vest couldn’t protect, Burgess called for backup and started to shoot down the suspect but he started to run, Dawson and Atwater and Olinsky came running around the back going after the man.
Burgess was putting pressure on the wound, but Erin was going in out of focus. Voight, Jay, held Erin close while Burgess was still putting on the pressure of the wound. Ruzek was rubbing his head while on the phone with the paramedics. They could hear the squad’s siren coming from far away.
“Stay with me, Lindsay, Stay with me” Voight had tear in his eyes, afraid of loosing her, Jay was in tear’s again after the arugement he was sorry for what he had said to her.
The paramedic’s arrived, Brett and Gabby ran over to them. Brett looked to Burgess, and placed her hands where her’s where and placed a bandage and gauze on the wound.
“nice job keeping the bleeding to a minimal” Gabby smiled softly to Burgess, they loaded her up into the squad and took her quickly to Chicago med.
*few weeks later*
Erin has been in a comma for a few weeks, Jay was sitting by her bed with her hand into his. He hasn’t slept in for what it feel’s like years. He was so worried about her. Voight knocked softly as he leaned in the door frame.
“Go home, Halstead” Voight told him, Jay looked up at him, “no..i can’t” Voight walked over to him, “Jay..i know you two had a fight that night..and you walked out you both said some things.” Jay looked confused and spoke softly.
“how’d ya know tha-” Voight held up his hand, “i just know these things..i have been there..She’ll be fine, she’s a tough girl, and you’re brother is taking real good care of her.” Voight placed a hand on his shoulder, “now i’ll keep on watch, and i’ll call you if thing’s changes alright.” Jay smiled softly, “alright..thanks” Voight smiled
Jay walked out of the room, bumping into Will. “Will please how is she doing”. Will sighed and looked at his chart’s and looked back to his brother with a soft smile.” she’s doing a little bit better than she was doing, she should be waking up sometime on her own” Jay smiled softly, “thank’s brother, please take care of her.” Will nodded..”of course”
They both said goodbye, and walked two different way’s.
*few days later*
Erin was sitting up in bed, she was looking down at the food that was in front of her. She alway’s hated hospital food. Erin placed her fork down on the little table and looked to the chair that was empty, she was hoping that Jay would be here.
Jay smiled as he saw her sitting up in the bed, he knocked softly on the door with a small teddy bear in his hands.
“good morning” he smiled, Erin smiled softly and whispered hoarsely, “hey”
Jay sat down the bear besides Erin, who smiled at the kind gesture of him. They both were a little awkward after that night. Erin and Jay both let out a sigh. Jay sat the chair down besides her bed, and held her hand.
“I’m glad your still here with me, i was so worried” Jay whispered to Erin, who had tear’s in her eyes. He was starting to get teary eyed himself, “I’m so sorry Erin, i shouldn’t have done that i shouldn’t have said that stuff to you”
Erin was crying softly, “o jay im sorry too, i dont want to be without you ever.” Jay smiled through his tear’s and he leaned over and kissed her. Erin kissed back they both pulled away, when they heard a voice clear their throat. It was will standing there with a smile on his face.
“well, how are you feeling miss Lindsay.” he asked, she smiled “im feeling fine Will” he smiled and looked at his chart’s. “it looks like you will be discharged in a few day’s, we still want to monitor you to see if you are alright.” Jay smiled at Erin, and they smiled at Will, who left the room with a small smirk playing on his face.
There are no more battles between good and evil, no monsters to slay, no maidens in need of rescue. Most maidens are perfectly capable of rescuing themselves in my experience, at least the ones worth something, in any case. - Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus