Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader (Reader is a Reagan)
Word Count: 835
Request: None; I just really love these two shows and haven’t written nearly enough Barba on this blog.
A/N: This took forever to write, so my apologies if it’s lacking in some places. Expect more SVU/Blue Bloods crossovers, actually crossovers in general, but they’re really fun to write! x
From the moment Rafael Barba waltzed into the SVU squad room, freshly-pressed suit and all, you knew you would have problems with him. He was arrogant, brash, and just downright obnoxious. It was like having another older brother, but worse.
For months, you barely spoke with Barba, only talking about cases and making small talk on occasions. You had nothing to talk about, other than your sister, his boss. He loved Erin, always speaking highly of her. It was the only time you saw him genuinely emotive, and surprisingly, it wasn’t fake. You swore that he had feelings for her in a romantic way, which bugged you. The fact that it bugged you made your hatred for Barba even stronger, recognizing what that feeling of irritation could soon entail.
Summary: You and Antonio have been in a relationship for a while, but the two of you have kept your relationship a secret. Something happens on a case which makes Antonio realize how scared he is to lose you, prompting him to something crazy.
Fandom: Chicago P.D.
Pairing: Antonio Dawson x Reader
A/N: There’s been so much Bull requested lately that I kind of needed another fandom to write about for a moment!
When I first met Antonio, I was drawn to his smile. I did not realize he was going to end up a coworker of mine at Chicago P.D. as my friend Erin had. While at Molly’s, I was too nervous to chat with him, but Erin seemed to know him well. She told me about how he had recently gone through a troubling divorce. The incident really took a toll on his emotions. I kept my distance, even after seeing him at the station.
I don’t know how it began, but our chats were small in the beginning. Antonio was very polite and kept small-chat to a minimum every time we ran into each other. Our conversations steadily grew until we could speak to each other about anything, much to the surprise of those on the Intelligence Unit. I wasn’t the only one to notice his smile was there more. He seemed happier, but perhaps I only saw something I wanted to see. I wanted Antonio to like me, but I did not want to push my growing feelings on him. I was convinced Antonio was not attracted to me in the same way I was to him. The divorce was still raw in his mind, and romance didn’t seem to be in his cards anytime soon.
Antonio invited me out one evening to celebrate the closing of a long case. There was something different about his actions. I couldn’t place why, but he seemed happier, almost shyer about something. After he drove me home, he pulled me into a hug outside my apartment door, as usual. He held me tightly to him. When he released me, his eyes dropped from mine to my lips. Antonio leaned forward slightly, silently asking permission. I placed my hands on his shoulders and closed the gap between us, desperate for the one thing I wanted for so long.
We started dating after that.
Antonio and I agreed it was something to keep to ourselves for the time being. Months passed, and we kept our relationship a secret. Neither of us believed anyone suspected a thing because we acted as we usually had around everyone else, only being intimate when we were alone. It was exciting in the beginning, but I could not help wanting to tell someone. Erin had become my best friend, but even she didn’t know.
There was a case the Intelligence Unit was working late, keeping Antonio and the others up at night. I rarely saw him in those two weeks and had to savor any chance I got to speak to him or see him. It was hard to see him so distraught. But he never told me any of the case details. I had to pry them from Erin. A family had been torn apart by a monster who took pleasure in doing so. But Erin refused to tell me more than that. Antonio had slowly withdrawn from me during the case. After my calls went to voicemail, I let him be. I hadn’t heard from him since.
Kim, Roman, and I were surprised to see any of the Unit at Molly’s that evening. I had a difficult time keeping my excitement bottled inside while searching for Antonio. He hadn’t followed Mouse, Erin, Jay, and Kevin into the bar. Disappointment rose inside.
I plastered a smile on my face, greeting the team as they slid over to our table. “It looks like you’re ready to start celebrating. Got some good news for us?”
“Finally got the bastard. Turns out the guy was hiding in a secret room in the basement of his mother’s home,” Jay stated, wrapping an arm around Erin’s shoulders. He kissed her temple. “Erin got a good shot in before I could take him out.”
Erin elbowed him in the ribs. “Like you would have been able to get him. He was pretty fast for being five-foot-two and close to three hundred pounds! I’ve never seen someone move so quickly.”
“Hey, Otis! Let’s get a round of liquor over here to celebrate!” Kevin yelled, eying Otis across the room behind the bar.
Otis raised a hand, signaling he heard Kevin.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve just gotten your heart-broken,” Erin mentioned while Jay, Mouse, and Kevin entered an animated breakdown of the case to Kim and Roman.
I flushed and tried to alter whatever gloomy look I had on my face. I pursed my lips and waved a hand. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. How are the others doing? You know, Ruzek, Voight, and Tonio. I’m surprised they’re not here to celebrate the closing of such a big case.”
Erin shrugged. “Beats me. Though I think Voight was still in his office when we left, and Adam is staying strong in avoiding Kim as much as he can after their breakup.”
Her voice became a murmur in the busy bar as I spotted Antonio by the door. His brown eyes darted to-and-fro across the expanse of the floor. Confused, I watched as I caught his gaze. Antonio seemed relieved, his tense shoulders dropping slightly. Moving swiftly around patrons, he made a bee-line to our table.
“Hey, speaking of Mr. Sunshine. We were just talking about …” Erin’s voice broke off.
Not acknowledging her, Antonio walked around the table to where I stood. He reached up and cupped my cheeks, crashing our lips together.
I was stunned.
Someone whistled; Jay? Kevin?
Antonio pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine. “I know we talked about keeping us a secret, but I couldn’t do it any longer. That case really got to me. I can’t lose you, y/n. I love you.”
I took hold of his collar and kissed him, pouring my desperation from not having heard from him in the past week into it. “I love you, too.”
“I had eight months. Y’all better pay up.” Kevin laughed, holding out his hand.
So both @cpdcfcmed7410 and I received requests to write a follow up scene for 4x15 and well, being besties, we decided to combine our writing styles and do a one shot together. Hope you enjoy it! You can also find it here:
“You about ready to go?” Erin asked Jay, rubbing her hands together as she made her way back into the bullpen from outside. She still couldn’t believe the audacity of Scrap. She’d busted her ass to get his brother off and he acted like an ungrateful ass.
“Yeah, just give me five,” Jay replied, barely looking up from the paperwork he was hurriedly filling in. He was anxious to get out of here tonight, more so then usual. He had negotiations to get under way.
Erin went and sat in her chair, not bothering to take her coat off since they’d be leaving in a minute and she’d already finished up for the day before she sprung Scrap. Leaning back, she let her gaze fall across the isle and watched Jay work. The hunch of his shoulders stretched the fabric of his shirt as he leaned forward over his desk. She knew exactly how warm and smooth the skin was there. She knew her lips fit perfectly in the curves between his muscles and shoulder blades. She knew she could draw a line of kisses eight freckles long from behind his ear to the curve of his arm. He absentmindedly bit at the corner of his lip as he concentrated and Erin licked her lips unconsciously as she imagined the feel of his teeth gently sinking into her lip instead. Her belly tightened as her eyes fell on his arms, knowing exactly where his veins bulged from exertion as he held his weight off her when he lay over her. Goosebumps rose on her skin imagining his strong hands playing over her body.
Her eyes continued to wander over his features, daydreaming. When she refocused on his head, she was no longer staring at the semi trained waves on top that she knew tightened into unruly curls when wet but into the blue of Jay’s eyes. They were dancing with amusement as a smirk spread across his face. She felt her cheeks redden, knowing full well the cocky bastard had caught her fantasizing about him.
“I’m ready when you are,” Jay chuckled, suggestively raising his eyebrows at her.
Erin rolled her eyes at him but she didn’t suppress her smile as she got to her feet. “Good because I’m starving!”
“Of course you are,” he laughed. “Where am I taking you for dinner?”
“Wait, you’re buying?” She teased in mock surprise.
“Yup, whatever you want.” He replied smugly.
“Hmm, in that case,” Erin tried to think of the most expensive restaurant they’d be allowed into wearing jeans.
“Oh no,” Jay said with a mix of humour and apprehension.
Erin laughed again as she made her way ahead of Jay down the stairs, affording him the opportunity to let his eyes roam over her backside, appreciating her curves the way she’d been doing to him moments ago.
He couldn’t wait to get his negotiations started. He half expected her to say no when he’d all but reduced himself to begging to have first go at driving their new rig. It had been worth the grovelling though. So worth it. And now that he’d had a taste he felt it necessary to renegotiate the terms of their partnership. He wasn’t going to insist he drive from now on, he couldn’t expect her to give up that kind of control, nor did he want to take that from her. If he were completely honest it was kind of hot his girl was such a badass behind the wheel. But he didn’t see anything wrong with them splitting the driving. He knew she felt safe with him, trusted him. Surely she would see the fairness in sharing the driving fifty-fifty? Of course he’d make sure to properly thank her during the negotiations too.
When the waiter finished pouring the glasses of wine Jay suggested they order, forgoing the pints of beer they usually opted for, Jay held up his glass. Erin cocked her head to the side, amused, but raised her glass to toast with him.
“Thanks Angel,” he said tipping his glass against hers with a wink, knowing she’d understand he was appreciative of getting to drive the truck earlier tonight. Erin laughed out loud. The raspy tone always made his heart beat speed up.
“You’re welcome grasshopper,” she replied cheekily.
Jay made a face at her. He wasn’t sure he liked this new nickname but he’d play along if it got him what he wanted.
They teased and bantered over dinner, unwinding from the intensity of the day. Jay loved this time with Erin, when they transitioned from partners to lovers with their easy friendship bridging the two. It was sometimes difficult keeping things professional and focused on the job but it was always easy coming home together.
It wasn’t hard to watch Erin slowly lick the chocolate cake from her fork as she savoured every bite of their shared dessert either. God he loved the way this woman appreciated food. He was also getting anxious to get home.
After paying they headed out. In the car Jay decided to start negotiations. “So I was thinking,” he started, letting his fingers softly dance across her thigh as she drove.
“Oh yea,” she said giving him a sideways glance and a smirk.
“Yea. You trust me, so I was thinking we should at least split driving fifty-fifty,” he said letting his fingers dance closer between her legs.
She smacked his hand away trying to focus as she drove. “Yea I dunno about that,” she said holding in her smile.
“Erin,” he started but refused to beg again. “I’ll make it worth it and you know it,” he said squeezing her thigh as she looked for a parking spot outside the apartment.
Erin slightly chuckled as she parked. He was right. While everyone thought she wore the pants in the relationship, Jay dominated in the bedroom. And really their relationship was fifty-fifty like it’s supposed to be. Maybe it was time she let everyone see that because she did trust him.
As they got out and headed in she said, “What do I get for fifty-fifty driving?” she asked.
Jay leaned down and whispered in her ear exactly what he planned to do to her. Erin let out a shiver as she bit her lip. “We’ll see,” she winked as they headed up.
Once inside the apartment, Jay pushed her back against the door and kissed her hard. He left her breathless as she held on to his neck. “I’m just getting started,” he whispered picking her up and carrying her to bed.
Erin squealed and giggled as he tossed her on the bed before stripping. He knew she’d been admiring him earlier while he finished paperwork so he’d let her get a good look before he properly thanked her.
He knew she was totally turned on by the time he was completely naked and crawling over her kissing.
“Patience Erin,” he whispered, kissing her lips.
Erin arched up, her jeans and sweater rubbing all over him. He pushed her back to the bed. “Patience,” he said again making her growl.
He slowly stripped her, worshipping her body with kisses as he went. Once he had her naked, he sat back on his heels just admiring her body. “So….. about driving fifty-fifty,” he whispered, his fingers softy trailing over her thighs and hips as he used his knees to spread her open.
“I dunno,” she said watching him as she tried to lay still. “Make it worth it, and we’ll talk,” she smirked.
“Oh it’ll be worth it,” he said kissing her hard. He put her hands above her head on her pillow. “Do not move them,” he said.
Erin just watched him, panting for breath, as he kissed down her body. He grabbed her hips giving them a gentle squeeze as he eyed her up and down.
He loved the effect he had on her, loved that he did this to her. “You will say yes,” he smirked before blowing a breath across her.
Erin wiggled and he grabbed her hips holding her still. “Don’t move,” he said again. He held her hips as he slowly lowered himself to the bed.
“Jay,” she panted knowing he was going to do exactly what she loved to get his way.
“You’re an angel,” he whispered before his tongue snuck out and licked her up. Erin’s hips arched, a moan escaped, and her hands came down to tug his hair.
Jay pulled back making her moan and toss her head; “I said don’t move,” he said moving her hands back.
A whimper escaped her lips and he knew he had her. “I mean it Erin, don’t move,” he said getting a nod from her.
He pinned her hips again before slowly licking her once more. “Jay,” she moaned as he did it again.
“Say yes,” he whispered keeping his tongue moving super slow just savoring her.
Erin just grunted moving her hands back to his hair and tugging. Jay immediately stopped again and put her hands back. “Don’t make me cuff you,” he whispered nipping at her ear.
“Fuck,” she panted arching against him.
Jay smirked as he slowly kissed back down her body setting her on fire. “So wet,” he whispered slowly licking again and letting his tongue lazily circle her clit.
Erin whimpered and moaned, her head tossing side to side at his torture. “Say yes Erin. Say you trust me enough,” he whispered slowly doing it again.
“Jay,” she whimpered, her hips arching as he pushed them back down.
“Say it,” he whispered nipping the inside of her thigh.
“Yes, God yes, please,” she moaned.
Jay smiled and placed a soft kiss on her clit. “Yes what?” he whispered ,spreading her lips wide to him.
“You can drive. I trust you,” she panted as she locked her eyes on him.
“I know you do,” he smiled before his lips locked over her clit and he sucked hard. He didn’t let up even though her hands made it back to his hair, tugging. He sucked and flicked her never letting up.
She tugged hard on his hair letting him know she was about to come as she moaned his name over and over. He slid two fingers in her still sucking her clit and she exploded moaning and screaming his name.
He licked her up letting his fingers rest in her as she rode it out. As she caught her breath he slowly eased his fingers out and kissed on her. “You’re an angel,” he whispered again kissing her lips.
“Your angel,” she smiled locking her legs around him. Jay kissed her hard as he slid into her.
“My angel. My Erin,” he panted.
She nodded, her eye glassy from their love making and her love for him, being surrounded in his love. “Don’t hold back,” she whispered just needing him.
Jay buried his face in her neck, his control slipping from needing her all day. Thoughts of taking her in the truck having floated through his head. He kissed and sucked on the sensitive spots on her neck as he thrust hard and fast.
Erin held on knowing this was exactly how the night would end after letting him drive, needing it just as much as him. She arched into him, squeezed him, kept him going until they were both teetering on the edge. “I’m gonna come,” she panted arching up hard.
Jay’s moan was the only answer she needed that he would too. She arched up again and squeezed him tight sending them both into oblivion.
It took several minutes for them to come down and he snuggled her after. “You really are an angel,” he whispered, making her giggle as they basked in the afterglow.
“You’re welcome grasshopper,” she giggled as he groaned, snuggling her close.
Many, many thanks to @justkillingtimewhileiwait for all of her help, listening to me bounce ideas off her, ramble on about what I wanted to write and mostly, the beta-ing. You are awesome! :)
“Erin.” Voight breathing her name in relief was what snapped her attention up from the linoleum floor of the ER where she had been staring for the better part of the past 30 minutes.
Her senses suddenly came crashing back to her; the sounds of the busy hospital, the smell of the alcohol being swabbed at her skin, the sight of bright white lights of the room and the feel of heat on her arm as she was being stitched. Only taste remained, but as she couldn’t taste blood, she counted herself lucky.
Voight was in front of her within four steps, causing her to crane her neck up from her position on the edge of the bed. “How bad is it?”
Erin blinked a couple of times as she forced herself to interpret his words and come up with a reply. “It’s just a graze,”
He nodded, peering at the two neat lines of black stitches on her left bicep before catching her eyes again. “And Jay?”
Erin shook her head, feeling her eyes begin to fill once again even as she willed herself not to cry. Not again. Not here. “It’s bad, Hank,” she whispered, her voice coming out shakily and rougher than she would like. Shaking her head, her eyes drifted back to the floor, unable to look at Voight as she spoke lest she broke down. “He crashed twice on the way here. They- they took him straight up to surgery after they got him stable. Will’s up there waiting.”
“Erin-” he began, but when she failed to look up, she felt him shift until he was eye level with her, claiming her attention with a warm hand upon hers on the examination table. Erin had barely noticed how they had cleaned up her hands with warm water to make sure she didn’t have any other injuries. “Hey, look at me, kiddo,” Voight demanded, and she slowly did as he said. “Your partner is nothing if not stubborn. He’s a fighter, okay? He’s not going to let this beat him.”
“You didn’t see him, you don’t know that! They got him three times and I couldn’t-” she broke off, taking in a ragged breath and willing herself to calm down so not to remember all the red, warm, sticky blood she had had the worst time trying to control until the EMTs had reached them.
Since the show have deprived us of the important little things, such as how Jay and Erin are adjusting to being separated, I thought i’d come up with some head canons.
Though Erin has her bed back to herself, she still can’t seem to move over a little more to Jay’s side. During their time together she was able to decrease the amount of pillows she used, but now with Jay gone, the bed feels so much bigger, and she found herself bringing all her pillows back
Jay never packed enough clothes for the amount of time that he’s been away, but he couldn’t face going back home, (not until he knew it would be for good) to pack more things, so he found himself borrowing a shirt or two from Will, buying a couple of new ones, and having to do a lot laundry
Car rides are getting better than when he first left. Before they’d sit in silence, but now, they occasionally put the radio on in the background, and talk about trivial things like the weather, sports, or anything that they think is safe
After the case, when Erin helped Hank in front of the review board, Erin went back to the station. She told Jay, “good bust” and he said, “you know, you’re pretty good as boss. Kinda hot too.” That got a smile out of her, and for a split moment they were able to forget
Once, after a case, Jay asked Erin what she wanted for dinner without thinking. He was so used to doing that after they left the station every night, he did it out of habit
Jay’s been spending more time with his brother, and Kevin and Adam after work. On his days off he goes to his meetings, the gym, and now he is seeing a therapist. He doesn’t know if he’ll stick the therapist out, he hates talking about himself and his past, but he’s willing to try
Erin still makes two coffees in the morning, one for her, and one for Jay out of habit. She leaves it on the side for him
The team have been supportive during this time. Kim told Erin that if she needed to talk that she could call her. Kevin and Adam told Jay that they knows he’s not big on talking about feelings, but they have his back if he needs it. Alvin patted Jay on the back after a case, and told him that he knew he always had people rooting for him
- Set during 4x21 where Erin hesitates and gets shot rather than shooting the boy. Based on a prompt from @really-its-tiffany. Let me know what you think!
The gunshots were still ringing in her ears as she ran, away from Jay and away from the credit union and towards one of the perps in a black mask and a black bodysuit, her feet pounding rhythmically on the sidewalk and her weapon held at arm’s length out in front of her, her aim never faltering. She was vaguely aware of the sirens and the other police cars which was sure to be the backup her partner had requested up in the security room but most of the suspects had fled and all that remained was the one Jay had under control in the middle of the street a ways behind her now, and this one, right here, still struggling to get away from her.
Zara: “Unfortunately I can’t. I’m going to Bridgeport with my mum to pick my dad up at the airport. He’s finally coming home from that terrible mission.”
Sally: “Aww, I’m so happy for you! No more fear!”
Zara: “No more stress, no more fear. He’ll be home, safe and sound.”
Erin: “What about you, Sally? Are you going with me?”
Sally: “Aww sorry, it’s no from me as well! I promised my sister to take care of her kids over the weekend. In fact, I should run home as fast as I can because Gina will be there in less than an hour.”