Erin Strauss

CM Incorrect Quote #75

Hotch: No one here’s a mole.

Strauss: How can you be so sure?

Hotch: Because I know these guys. I know everything about them.

Strauss: You’re a poor FBI agent if you think people can’t surprise you.

Hotch: Not these people. Here, watch this.

Hotch: It’s Thursday, so Emily’s gonna leave early to rehearse with her new dance group, the Nancy Reagans. They’re the first ladies of the movement. JJ’s going to be going over her weekly budget. And Spencer will be attending a “pizza for one” cooking class.

Reid: Tonight’s menu: Pepper-alone-i and I.

Hotch: And if I run and leap at Derek, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. *starts running*

Morgan: No wait I’m holding coffee!

Morgan: *drops coffee and catches Hotch*

cr: @cm-drabbles

10

Aaron Hotchner & Emily Prentiss: A History

From him not wanting her there, to her quiting her job to save his and him convincing her to go back with him, passing by the time he sent her away to save her life, to all the times he asked her to return, to the very last time, when he requests that it be her the one to take his place as the BAU Unit Chief. (and so many more things in the middle)

Criminal Minds Headcanons/Character Descriptions
  • Emily Prentiss: not-so-secretly a spy, pretends to be past her emo phase- is actually still really emo, speaks 458379803854 languages, lowkey ninja, super chill, the older sister, drives with the windows down, straight up eats ice cubes for no reason, listens to emo music in her room, quiet in a loud sort of way, her laugh is actual magic, wears too much black to be considered healthy, always just a little bit angry, really bad at being the designated driver (always ends up being the most drunk), always up for a good party, cats are her spirit animal, deepest desire is to be a crazy cat lady, knows how to hold her licquor freakishly well, turns 21 every year, cooler than everybody else
  • JJ: eats cheetos like oxygen, little sister/middle child, hair is always perfect, can eat all the junk food she wants without gaining any weight, can kill you with his ninja hands, smells really nice, somehow knows everybody's secrets, good listener, smiles a lot, just really wants to fall in love one day, the popular cheerleader that everybody actually likes, listens to indie music, never not fabulous, wants to have a ton of kids, brings home strays without telling anyone, always the first to volunteer to take care of the class pet
  • Penelope Garcia: that weird neighbor kid that's just always around, nicknamed "the baking grandma" because of the inexplicable way she has of always having baked goods on hand, "Garcia's the name, and witty comebacks are my game", perfect ray of sunshine, an actual human rainbow, everybody has to have at least one pefectly peculiar nickname, will kill you with her ninja-hugs, has a gigantically beautiful sparkling smile, bright pink lipstick, wears too many colors at once, really good at helping you through a breakup, butterscotches in her purse, might be a grandma, computer nerd, can beat anybody at video games, afraid of guns, tries to be tough but doesn't know how, would wear pure glitter if she could, doesn't have a favorite color because if she chose then she would feel bad for all the other colors (it's actually pink)
  • Hotch: the undeniable dad, loves everybody equally, shows people love without words, you know you're in trouble when he gives you one of his famous "hotch glares", only really laughs when he's with the people he loves, his smile will make your knees weak, likes to spoon, strong and silent type, always wears suits for no reason, works too much, secretly a sinnamon bun, will kill you if you mess with the people he loves, cares too much, the proud dad, shows up to ALL recitals and shows, equally passionate and compassionate, crazy good at his job, nobody knows his secrets, secretly amazing at throwing surprise parties, can not bake to save his life, his smile is like the moon and the stars combined, tries to make dad jokes and fails
  • Spencer Reid: king of the dorks, the precious little brother, must be protected at all costs, obsessed with Halloween, plans Halloween an actual year ahead of time, drinks coffee through an IV, book worm, facts, books make him feel safe, refuses to play video games, thinks he's tough but is actually a precious cinnamon bun, owns too many sweaters, purple is definitely his favorite color, apologizes too much, drinks a lot of water, lost count of the number of PhDs he has a long time ago, awkward, never knows what to say, bad social skills, social anxiety, chess tournaments make him happy, eats a lot of cake, owns a scooter
  • Derek Morgan: the amazing big brother, looks out for everyone else before himself, kicks the bullies in the nuts, burgers and fries all the time, captain of the football team but also organizes fundraisers for the needy, likes working out, shovels neighbors' sidewalks/ mows neighbors' lawns without asking, loves and appreciates dogs, lowkey believes that cats are the anti-christ, helps old people cross the street, grocery store runs are always his job, goes on long bike rides just to think
  • David Rossi: aka Captain Sass, the weird uncle, nosy but he's rich so it's okay, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO STAY IN HIS LANE, always offers to babysit but he has no idea how children work, has so many stories that just can't be true but actually are, thinks he's cool and hip- might actually be but tbd still, somehow knows all, shows up at random times, can cook REALLY REALLY WELL, super Italian, thrives on pasta
  • Jason Gideon: crazy bird guy that lives across the street, makes pecan squares that he thinks are amazing but actually aren't, secretly paints in his basement (like Bob Ross-level paintings), people watches from his front window, awkward pats on the back, doesn't always understand social cues, throws A+ garage sales, yells at other people for not raking the leaves off their lawn in the fall, raises chickens without telling anyone
  • Elle Greenaway: can stab you with a knife, a gun, a chainsaw, and a machete all at the same time, mean older sister, WILL call you on your shit, thinks about death too much, everybody is afraid of her, skipped the emo phase, somehow came out of the womb a traumatized adult, 100% feminist, steals your food when you're not looking, doesn't like hugs, says it like it is, wears a lot of necklaces, confusing, has a thing for a guy in a uniform
  • Kate Callahan: has a lot of friends, seems really badass until she starts gushing about baby animals, volunteers at animal shelters, sorority sister, infinitely loyal, loves everybody until she hates them, knows how to appreciate the simple things, 5'2" of rage and fury and love, pure emotion, loves to cuddle, sometimes people confuse her, just wants to make the world a better place, hates vegetables but eats them anyway, drinks a lot of chocolate milk
  • Alex Blake: reads a lot, blue is her favorite color, went to college earlier than normal, a beautiful nerd, a rare species, deserves the world but gets a cup of coffee instead, underestimated, knows how and when to pull out the sass, ends up being the babysitter on all occasions, more mature than she should be, extremely level-headed, knows how to read between the lines really well, accepts everything thrown her way, underappreciated, needs to be told she's loved more often, breakfast is her favorite meal of the day, makes a lot of sandwiches for no reason at all
  • Tara Lewis: the cousin that everybody always forgets about, gets left behind on family outings and everybody has to go back to get her- she's strangely okay with it, just wants some kettle corn or cotton candy, puts ketchup on everything, shows up at colleges she's never been to just to party, okay with anything as long as she has a say, will talk to anybody, likes getting to know people, would totally speed-date, likes to watch old stand-up comedy and slam poetry videos on YouTube
  • Erin Strauss: won't admit that she's the mom, proud of all her children, owns 8 million sweatshirts from her alma mater that she constantly wears, kinda lonely but will never admit it, hates cooking with a passion, loves wine a little too much, seriously appreciates a good towel, would sell her soul for a massage
The Signs As Iconic Criminal Minds Quotes:

I took inspiration from this post here by the lovely @ilikepipecleanerswitheyes and so this is kinda a part 2!

Aries: “You’re my bitch now.”

Taurus: “I get shot in the leg and I don’t get any cookies?”

Gemini: “I can’t help it, I love dairy.”

Cancer: “Baby girl, you’re on speaker.”

Leo: “You look like a pipe cleaner with eyes! I could snap you like a twig!”

Virgo: “How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

Libra: “You, my fine furry friends, are welcome.”

Scorpio: “Talk dirty to me.”

Sagittarius: “Hotch, I was a twelve-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine-year-old girl.”

Capricorn: “Can I borrow the jet?”

Aquarius: “Hey, hardhead… don’t make me spank you when I get back.”

Pisces: Where’s my big black twelve pack?

10.26.17

I was too young to appreciate Dr. Spencer Reid’s snark and sass. I love him when he went head to head with Strauss.

Strauss: don’t you mean Agent Hotchner decided?

Reid: no, i mean all of us. I know what you’re thinking, it’d be easy to blame this on him and it’ll all go away, but I have an eidetic memory and that’s not how it happened.

6

finally finished with the ladies of criminal minds

Seven Words For Love

This is my entry for the Stu’s fic exchange. I was paired with the lovely @tarciau who asked for an Alex Blake fic and we were given “Erudite” as a prompt, which fits the linguist very well. 

The Ancient Greeks had more than one word for love. Seven words for seven different, equally important, types of love. To name a thing is to understand it, at least that’s what Alex always told herself. Words built the world and defined it and made it navigable. 

Eros, or sexual passion… 

He was a doctor, well technically he was still a medical student but he was close. (Almost) Dr James Blake, all soft eyes and gentle touches. Alex had never pegged herself as someone who fell so hard and fast but he made it easy. All the heated moments, stolen caresses and shared nights made her feel giddy and dangerous and alive. Who knew if it was going to last, if it was going to mean anything in a month or a year? Alex didn’t and usually that uncertainty would have killed her but if anything it made her feel fearless.

Storge, or familial love… 

”I can’t stop looking at him” James marvelled “He’s so tiny and complicated and…we made him. It’s a miracle.”

”How unscientific of you” snorted Alex though she agreed with every fibre of her being. He was perfect, their Ethan, their world. He had her eyes and James’ nose. Her chin and James’s forehead. All in all he was wonderful mish-mash of the two of them.

It would be a while before they knew, before doctors would come and gently try to explain except they had no word, no name to attach to the monstrous thing that was going to bring their world crashing down. That’s what Alex would struggle with. James would struggle with the fact that his own son was beyond his healing powers.

For now though they watched him sleep, overcome with emotion and seeing only the good in the world.

Philia, or deep friendship…

Alex was trying to concentrate on what the young man was saying, she really was, it was just hard when with every word she spoke she could hear her baby crying out for her.

“I’m really sorry to bother you Dr Blake” he said for what felt like the millionth time “It’s just I found your book so fascinating and forensic linguistics and it’s profiling applications are so key to what we do that I had to speak to you. Sorry I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“Not at all” smiled Alex “You’re with the BAU right? Aaron Hotchner’s team?”

“Yes” he beamed and her heart felt like it was going to burst “Dr Spencer Reid!”

“Look I have a while before my next class, do you want to go through some things? I saw you taking a lot of notes.”

“That would be amazing thank you” said Spencer, looking like a kid being given the run of a candy store.

They spoke for hours that day. When she went home to James she wept as she recounted their meeting. It was the first of many encounters that lead to coffee afternoons, guest lectures, co-writing papers and crossword tournaments. It would a long time before the slightly misplaced maternal feelings turned into something else. That he was brilliant, almost a peer in her field, was unquestionable but more than that he was kind and supportive, eager to hear about not just her work but also her life. If she believed in that kind of thing she would almost suspect that Ethan sent him her way. 

Ludus, or playful love…

”My name is Penelope Garcia and I don’t like change”

Alex had made a bad first impression, she knew that. The stress of finally getting where she wanted to be at the FBI coupled with James being away and seeing Strauss for the first time in years had put her on edge. Even as she saw the woman crumple under her initial linguistics lecture on the various connotations of the word “Nice”, she had known she was being unfair but she was just so desperate to establish that she deserved to be here, that she earned the right to come back, head held high, with no one judging her that she had basically steamrollered over people who just wanted to make sure their family was being taken care of. When the team returned from Texas, Alex had  met Garcia’s attempts to reconcile with (an exhausted) enthusiasm. She couldn’t help but admire someone whose heart was so totally open.

A couple weeks later Alex made her way to the “Bat Cave” with a small cellophane wrapped basket in  her hands. Garcia’s eyes lit up as she entered but were laced with confusion.

“This is to say thank you” said Alex, less confidently than she intended.

“Oh the tea of the week is actually from Emily so-”

“I mean for giving me a second chance” said Alex, holding out the basket.

Garcia’s eyes softened and she ripped off the paper like a child on Christmas morning and then squealed with delight.

“How did you know Unicorns were my favourite thing ever!” she gasped as she handled the candles, soft toys, figures, hair bobbles and mood light in awe. All were shaped like or covered in a unicorn motif and caked in copious amounts of glitter.

“I…guessed” said Alex, casting her eyes around the cave and noting that there weren’t any duplicates with what she had bought. It was surprising really, given the sheer amount of stuff that covered the desks and the walls.

”These are adorable” Garcia said, sliding the garish hair clips into her bunches “These are staying in for girls’ night. You joining? Oh my god they do the best mojitos you will ever taste”


Agape, or love for everyone…


Alex felt a pang as she saw Strauss in deep conversation with Rossi as they were leaving Quantico. She had her suspicions about the two of them but it wasn’t her place. When they had been young agents together she had admired the other woman’s tenacity, her forthrightness and her no nonsense attitude. There had also been a niggling suspicion about her personal struggles: one night after work, in a display of uncharacteristic fragility Strauss… Erin… had waxed lyrical about how lucky Alex had been to be married to someone like James, wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone could be that lucky. Alex had ended up pretty much carrying her to her front door at the end of the night and Erin hadn’t so much as made eye contact with a her for a week afterwards. 

Sighing, Alex headed to her car, resolving to maybe take Erin up on her offer of coffee one day that week.

Pragma, or longstanding love… 

“Are you sure?” James asked for the tenth time “Really and truly sure?”

Alex nodded. The tears had all dried up and the resignation letter was on Hotch’s desk.

”It’s time” said Alex “It’s what’s right for me and for us”

”I’m glad Spencer is going to be okay” said James, pulling her close “He’s a nice kid.”

”He’s in his thirties, hardly a kid” smiled Alex “I just want him to be happy. I told him about Ethan, when I dropped him off at his apartment. I feel like when I talk about him to people it brings him back a little, just for a brief moment.”

”We should talk about him more” said James, stroking her hair “We should put more pictures up too. We have loads from before he was sick, I’ll get them out of the attic.”

”I’d like that” sniffed Alex, “James?”

”Yeah”

”I love you. More than I can put into words…”

Philautia, or love of the self… 

Eighteen months later and Alex watched her students file out of the lecture theatre, laughing and chatting. They were all so full of hope and life and whenever she watched them she knew she made the right decision to leave the bureau.

“That was great!” Spencer said, heading down the steps to the lectern “I never had lectures like that as an undergrad. Maybe I would have gone into linguistics instead if I had.”

“I think it all worked out in the end for you” laughed Alex “Ready to grab something to eat? There’s a nice little Indian place in town.”

“Sounds great” said Spencer and they walked out into the sunshine.

“How’s the team?” asked Alex “Is Dr Lewis settling in okay?”

“They’re all good” said Spencer “Tara is great, she is taking on some side projects so she doesn’t accompany us on every case but it’s nice to have a forensic psychologist on the team. She brings a new perspective.”

“I’ve read her work” said Alex, “I’d love to meet her!”

“I’m sure we can arrange that” grinned Spencer, then after a pause he asked “Do you miss it?”

“Please don’t be offended if I say no” said Alex, a little sadly “I loved working with all of you but it was time to move on.”

“You can’t stay in one place forever” nodded Spencer.

“No you can’t” agreed Alex with a smile.

@stunudo @frickin-bats @http-natiii @milkandcookies528 @criminal-navy-writings @reiding-and-writing  @arizonalovesher  @siriuslyimmoony  @lookingforgalifrey @sammy-holland @haleyynguyen @tippy06 @teatimewithtiya @cherry-loves-fanfic @dontshootmespence @brooke0297 @iridescentreid @buttercreamstorys

I just realized something: Reid has a grief color. Whenever someone close to him dies, he’s wearing purple.

The wife of the leader of this team who has always welcomed them with a smiling face and open arms? Purple.

His best friend in whom he confides his fears and his desires and who’s usually down to watch all five (5) hours of Solaris in it’s original Russian? Purple.

The love of his life, and the only one who really understands Thomas Martin? Purple.

Boss lady who was lowkey a witch but really did mean well and loved all of her idiotic FBI children? Purple.

Distant, kind-of-a-dick, king of chess? Purple.