So wait, if Caliborn is telling the truth and what he showed in his shitty claymation puppet show was a spoiler…

Not only are the original four kids going to have their souls banished, but Lord English will be the result of Dirk infusing Lil’ Cal with the souls of Caliborn, Gamzee and Equius, in the form of ARquiusprite.

MEANING EQUIUS’ DEATH WAS COMPLETELY NECESSARY, AND THE CHARACTER HUSSIE CLAIMED WAS ONLY EVER MEANT TO BE A FILLER CHARACTER HE DIDN’T EXPECT ANYONE TO LIKE WAS SECRETLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN HOMESTUCK!

2

So in the new update, Caliborn goes on about how Dirk banished his soul into Lil Cal, and how ARquiusprite showed up out of nowhere and ended up getting pulled along for the ride.  And if you notice, HALF OF GAMZEE TOO.

This explains so much.

Why the game read Scratch’s sudden death as an opportunity to revive him into Lord English. (Caliborn)
Why Lord English is so muscular. (Equius)
Why Doc Scratch is so shrouded in mystery. (Equius)
Why Doc Scratch and Lord English are so vastly intelligent, unlike Caliborn. (AR, a splinter of Dirk’s soul)
Why Lord English is so mirthful and angry. (Gamzee)
Why Lord English can destroy souls. (AR, a splinter of Dirk’s soul)

Lord English even stole his name from Jake English, who in turn got his name from his Grandma Jade English, who in turn stole it from Lord English.  Paradox.

It all makes sense now.

9

So now that Paradox Space has been running for one full year, I noticed that one pretty common trend was people complaining or arguing about how certain characters didn’t show up enough or other characters showed up way too often. But a lot of this also seemed to be based off gut feeling, with one person shouting “Guy Fieri is the most important character in Homestuck and we need more of him!” before somebody else would shout back “We just got 15 pages of Guy Fieri you nitwit!”

So, because I got bored and because I hate myself, I went through and counted every single occurrence of every single character on every single page of Paradox Space. And then, because images are nice, I broke it down into some nice pie charts. So, the next time you get into an argument with somebody on the internet about whose favorite character has been less well represented in Paradox Space, you can actually point to some concrete facts to back your argument up.

If you want the complete chart ranked by number of appearances you can find it here (refresh the page once you click the link because for some reason it doesn’t work the first time).