England-rugby

What she says:       I’m fine.

What she means:    I just don’t know how England will fare in the Six Nations without the Vunipola brothers, that’s all. I mean I have every confidence in Eddie Jones and his coaching team and we’ve got some phenomenally talented players in the squad but Billy Vunipola really carried us through 2016 I mean the man is a tank… OH, and speaking of injuries, is Joe Marler coming back too soon? I mean I’m no doctor but come on, mate, broken legs don’t heal that quickly, no matter how much milk you drink. Not to mention Robshaw’s injured. Is Owen Farrell wrapped up in cotton wool? Someone better be keeping a close eye on him, he’s a damn points machine. SPEAKING OF POINTS MACHINES, Wales are at full fighting strength now they’ve got Halfpenny and Webb back from injury. There’s just so much pressure on us to maintain our crown and oh my god I’m having heart palpitations hahaha yeah I’m fine.

Kickers and their methods
  • Greig Laidlaw: [makes eyes at the posts]
  • Jules Plisson: [makes puppy eyes at the posts]
  • Owen Farrell: [makes weird eyes at the posts]
  • Johnny Sexton: [plays mind games with the posts]
  • Dan Biggar: [dances for the posts]
  • Sergio Parisse: [is unaware the posts exist]