the signs as ellen degeneres quotes

Aries:  “You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is”

Taurus:  I have a rule: if the temperature is less than my age, I don’t get out of bed”

Gemini:  “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.”

Cancer: “ I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.“

Leo: “ But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let’s get our priorities straight. I think we all know what’s really important in life - winning an Oscar.“

Virgo: “Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer”

Libra: “I would like to end with my favorite Mark Twain quote: ‘don’t you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard’ that was actually Taylor Swift, but she does have a point”

Scorpio: “I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short. That’s cute. I taught her that”

Sagittarius: “ Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.“

Capricorn:  “My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”

Aquarius: “I like my coffee like I like my men. I don’t drink coffee”

Pisces: “Just keep swimming”