Elder-scrolls:-oblivion

thoughts on the Elder Scrolls races

NORDS:

  •  V I K I N G S
  • probably eat nails for breakfast
  • without milk
  • seriously though these guys have some issues with people drinking milk
  • their fashion sense is basically strapping as many dead animals to themselves as they can
  • punch each other for funsies
  • resolve polictical conflict by via shouting contest

ALTMER:

  • commonly called high elves because they’re so fucking tall
  • fab
  • superiority complex
  • do not engage in magical combat with them because you will lose
  • will not rest until they have complained about everything

BOSMER:

  • smol
  • chillest of the elven races
  • outdoor enthusiasts
  • archery skills to rival legolas
  • won’t eat their vegetables

KHAJIIT:

  • furry
  • Khajiit likes to speak about themselves in 3rd person
  • nomads
  • it’s not breaking the law if no one sees you doing it
  • their hands are their weapons. no seriously they got claws
  • their king is chosen by the moons. I’m serious

IMPERIALS:

  • like building empires
  • not very good at running empires
  • rich bitches
  • still sad because they lost sir patrick steward and his son sean bean
  • slapfights with the altmer 24/7
  • longing for the day when they will get their shit together

DUNMER:

  • Edgelords™
  • their eyes are red their skin is blue they’ll probably set fire to you
  • ghost whisperer(s)
  • their gods tend to hold grudges
  • seriously dont piss of their gods they will fuck you over
  • kind of in a bad place after most of their homeland literally exploded

BRETONS:

  • politics
  • will sell you for one cornchip
  • kind of the elves’ unwanted bastard child
  • secretly really good at magic
  • don’t like their rural cousins in the Reach very much

REDGUARDS:

  • will knock you on your butt
  • P I R A T E S
  • What’s that? You wanna invade their homeland? I’m sorry your authority isn’t recognized in Fort Kickass
  • wanna see a magic trick?
  • no
  • no they don’t

ARGONIANS:

  • lizard
  • can breathe underwater
  • history of getting fucked over by the dunmer
  • tree huggers
  • i still dont understand why their women got tiddies. but they do
  • maids: lusty

ORISMER:

  • mean green killing machines
  • literally trained from birth to hand your ass to you
  • isolate themselves a ot
  • not that they have to try because they get shit from literally everyone
  • master smiths
  • their god may be a bit of a dick sometimes but he looks out for his people
  • resting bitchface
The Signs as both Gods and Daedra.

Aries - Talos/Malacath

Strong, powerful, natural leaders on the battlefield, yet aggressive and boastful. Damns the weak.

Taurus - Zenithar/Clavicus Vile

Competitive, diligent, committed, and efficient, yet has tunnel vision. Seeks to get what they desire before they help others. 

Gemini - Julianos/Mephala

Curious and complex, yet cryptic and manipulative. A sewer of discord.

Cancer - Mara/Molag Bal

Loving, quick to compassion and loyalty, yet selfish. Those they love are theirs alone. 

Leo - Akatosh/Sanguine

Larger than life, decisive, honorable, yet loves to revisit their darkest desires. Sensual to a fault. 

Virgo - Vivec/Jygalaag

Desires to master any challenge that comes their way, yet obsessive. Disorder is not tolerated.

Libra - Stendarr/Mehrunes Dagon

Value justice, graceful, and non-violent, yet retain selfishness and vanity. Driven by strong ambition and may seek revolution if they do not agree. 

Scorpio - Arkay/Nocturnal

Innovators, eager, inquisitive, yet prone to sting first before asking questions. Joy, yet sorrow. Vast wealth of secrets, and very obsessive. 

Ophiuchus - Kynareth/Boethiah

Unity, impulsiveness, clever, yet defiant of authority. Whispers deceit when it suits them, and may found unity on lies. 

Sagittarius - Sotha Sil/Hermaeus Mora

Wisdom, mental wealth, brave, yet may strive for too great a goal. The search of knowledge may consume them for eternity. 

Capricorn - Kynareth/Hircine

Nature, the natural order, patient, yet arrogant. Sometimes cannot see beyond strength, speed, or cunning. 

Aquarius - Dibella/Meridia

Sincerity, love for humanity, determined, yet their understanding may cloud their reality. Hope for tomorrow that may be seen as heresy.

Pisces - Almalexia/Sheogorath

Selfless, faithful and intuitive. Their intentions may be lost in translation, or come about in very cryptic way. What you behold may not always be reality. 

Ever since I found out that khajiit morphology is based on the lunar cycles I just have… so many questions. Like, do they plan their conception really carefully so they know what kinda kid they’re gonna end up with? Because the possibilities range from “cat furry” to “basically an elf” to “remarkably intelligent housecat” to “a literal tiger” like… also how the fuck does pregnancy work when the breed is determined at the time of birth? Is there just one basic khajiit baby from which all possible khajiit babies can develop at birth?? What is the kinship system like between breeds?? Like, you’re an Ohmes and you can pass as a Bosmer except your parents are Suthay-raht straight up furries and your sister is an Alfiq that could pass for a housecat like, WHEN DO THEY HAVE THE TALK? Like,

“Son… we have some news. You’re not adopted, we’re your biological parents and also the cat is your sister.”

for elder scrolls challenge - Nerevarine’s nightmares

not animated version

I dreamed that a tall figure with a golden mask spoke to me, but I understood not a word. He smiled, and seemed pleasant, but when he reached to touch me, it terrified me, and I tried to escape, but I couldn’t move. I tried to cry out, but I couldn’t make a sound. The figure kept smiling and talking, but I felt sure he was trying to cast some sort of spell on me. When I woke, I couldn’t recall how the dream ended