anonymous asked:

How do the Rogues get along cooped up in Arkham?

the gotham rogues in arkham is so wild lmao…. all the normal rules of engagement are OFF

*

edward isn’t allowed puzzles or that many games in arkham and the ones he is allowed he finds SO BORING so he starts finding new ways to keep himself occupied.

like literally ivy will walk past him in the cafeteria one day shoving straws up his nose and be like, “what the fuck are you doing?” 

and edward will just turn to her with like a dozen straws shoved up either nostril and a deadly serious look on his face and say, “challenging my intellect, dear.” 

*

harley: i wanna watch adventure time!
harvey: tough shit, cutthroat kitchen is on next!
harley: give me the remote, fryface!” *trying to wrestle the remote out of two-face’s hand
jonathan: why don’t you just read a book-
harley + harvey: NO ONE ASKED BITCH

*

if something goes missing in arkham it’s most likely some asshole has taken it. harvey just barrels into the rec room one day seething

“RIGHT WHERE IS IT?” 
“where’s what?” 
“MY COIN YOU JACKASSES I KNOW YOU HAVE IT”
snickering but no one owns up, orderlies/guards looking kinda worried but also kinda amused. 
“WHERE IS IT?!?!”
“I’LL GO TO THE WARDEN, I SWEAR.”
suddenly stops yelling, gets an evil smile on face and narrows eyes, “they’ll take the TV away.”
harvey starts walking towards the door and like four rogues tackle him to the ground at once. biting, kicking, scratching and punching ensues. 

after it’s all over ivy just walks up calmly to him and drops it in his hand, “you dropped it on the floor of the cafeteria this morning.”

*

harley and ivy are gay as shit all the time, not even subtle about it. just like holding hands and staring longingly into each others eyes and all that soppy shit. it’s infuriating for anyone who’s third wheeling. 

“so guys i have a plan to bust out- guys? guys…. guys please - guys, stop being gay for like 5 min and listen to my plan.”

*

art therapy is a mess.

doctor: draw something that represents ur innermost feelings

obvs ur gunna get the really dark shit but:

  • joker draws himself in a wedding dress being carried off by batman. 
  • edward draws himself in question mark speedos and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a pile of money on a beach with the words I AM THE BEST over the top.
  • ivy draws the rogues and batfam dead at her feet, flowers growing out of the bodies while she stands on top of the pile triumphantly holding hands with harley.
  • harley just draws some kittens and puppies and a bunch of love hearts and jester diamonds. 
  • jonathan draws a scarecrow in a dark field surrounded by a bunch of crows with sharp teeth in the beaks and the words might as well be dead. no one is surprised. [harvey voice] why you gotta be so emo crane?
  • victor draws himself and nora on their wedding day and harley bursts into tears and tries to hug him.

*

doctor: edward, please can you call jonathan over for me?
edward: sure
edward: JONAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
doctor: for gods sake
jonathan: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
doctor: i don’t know what i expected 

*

gotham rogues: [are arguing in group therapy as per usual]
doctor: excuse me, who’s the doctor here? 
jonathan: me
harley: me too
ivy: i am as well
victor: technically i am too
edward: i have multiple doctorates, i’ll have you know
doctor: [face palming] i don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit
gotham rogues: we know

Bad RHPS Song Descriptions
  • Science Fiction/Double Feature: idk here's a bunch of random words and film references put together
  • Dammit Janet: I brought my own ring to somebody else's wedding so here you go
  • Over At The Frankenstein Place: This is the only place around for miles and its a castle, which means it must be safe
  • Time Warp: The best time filler in history
  • Sweet Transvestite: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS
  • Sword of Damocles: I have been alive for literally 30 seconds and i already hate it
  • I Can Make You A Man: You gonna be so fuckin hot bro
  • Hot Patootie Bless My Soul: Fuck you and your lame ass party
  • I Can Make You A Man reprise: So now that *that's* over...
  • Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me: Bitches be 3 hours old-- be lookin 23
  • Eddie: My nephew is a dick
  • Planet Schmanet Janet: YOU'RE A HOME-WRECKING BITCH AND YOU AIN'T EVEN GOOD AT IT
  • Rose Tint My World: We're doomed
  • I'm Going Home: Man fuck this planet
  • Super heroes: idk why they called us hero and heroine in the beginning credits because we are far from that
  • Science Fiction/Double Feature reprise: That whole thing reminded me of Macbeth,,

two-face: crane threw a hotdog at batman to get away last night

riddler: please tell me that’s true and that you got it on camera

scarecrow: y'all’d’ve done the same if you were me. yain’t been put in that situation so you can’t pass judgement

two-face:

riddler:

two-face: what the fuck

riddler: i don’t know what that was but it wasn’t english