three word starters.

❛ please don’t go. ❜
❛ don’t turn around. ❜
❛ eat my dust. ❜
❛ suck my ass. ❜
❛ what’s for dinner? ❜
❛ drunk i’m not. ❜
❛ where’s your coat? ❜
❛ bring some beers. ❜
❛ are you home? ❜
❛ say my name. ❜
❛ i can’t go.❜
❛ i’d like none. ❜
❛ well fuck me. ❜
❛ are you sick? ❜
❛ i’m freezing cold. ❜
❛ you’re all wet. ❜
❛ are you drunk? ❜
❛ don’t look back. ❜
❛ it says ‘positive’.❜
❛ run far away.❜
❛ you are screwed. ❜
❛ damn it’s hot. ❜
❛ get here easily? ❜
❛ don’t touch me. ❜
❛ it’s cold out. ❜
❛ just leave me. ❜
❛ i like you. ❜
❛ talk to me. ❜

Okay so Lance...

This post sparked a headcanon in my head and I can’t stop imaging it now so I’m going to talk about it and develop it a bit more (feel free to add to it, share your opinion about it, talk to me about it, etc)

Considering its pretty much canon that Lance has a big family with the photo we saw in season one I can’t help but picture him with his siblings and cousins having soccer games whenever they’re together. Family gathering or not, I can totally see lance being a decent soccer player. 

Hear me out: 

- Lance plays soccer as a kid since his older sibling(s) did and his parents insisted he try some extracurriculars

- He sticks with it for quite a few years getting pretty good always enjoying it 

- But as he gets older his dreams of being a professional soccer player are replaced with piloting and the Garrison

- Everyone’s crushed when he quits because Lance had the potential to go pro and all his coaches said so

- He doesn’t think about it much and kind of just shrugs when people compliment his soccer skills, Lance doesn’t really believe he’s as great as everyone says he is because of his self-doubt and insecurities 

- Lets be real he’d totally look good in a soccer uniform and I bet he has all the merch of his favourite team including like three jerseys, two scarves, temporary tattoos, and a ball signed by his fave player (Keith sees Lance in a soccer jersey at some point and dies a little inside bc holy quiznak he looks so good??)

- On a particularly bad day when Lance is really missing home and his family Hunk catches on and suggests that they all play a quick game of soccer which totally brightens Lance’s mood

- After setting up two goals in the training room and briefing Allura and Coran about the rules and basic concept (Altea probs had the same sport just with a different name lets be real) they split into teams: Lance, Pidge, Shiro VS Keith, Hunk, Allura w/ Coran reffing 

- It starts off fun with everyone laughing and just trying their best but as soon as Lance and Keith butt heads it turns competitive and all hell breaks loose 

- Pidge being the dork she is doesn’t understand the hype over soccer and only continues to play because she’s enjoying spending time with the group (and she secretly wants to win lol for bragging rights) 

- Shiro is all “Keep it a fair game guys! You’re all doing great! Great pass Lance!” and is just happy to see everyone having fun and working together

- Keith is ride or die with any competition and is determined to take Lance down (while also trying to ignore how amazing Lance is bc I can’t get enough of pining Keith lol)

- Hunk is probably a soccer player too so he’s loving it, he’d be the best defence player omg

- Allura picks it up easily and is wicked good totally kicking everyone’s asses, she goes from ‘innocent team fun’ to ‘you’re all going down mfs eat my dust’ (Shiro is smitten af lol he keeps getting distracted by her flawlessness which makes Lance all “Dude! Get it together I am not losing to Keith!”)

- Coran is the best ref ever and is just cheering for everyone the entire time, he’d probably dress for the part too (omg imagine Coran with the black and white striped shirt, a black cap, and whistle lol

- It ends up a tie because the teams are equally good, also the game goes on for much longer than expected so they all get tired af and just finally give in satisfied with the game

- Coran brings out drinks and they all just chill together settling down; everyone’s sweaty and out of breath, they all have goofy grins 

- Lance quietly thanks Hunk for getting everyone involved and just sighs happily at his space family

- Just imagine it guys

- Also someone should totally draw this

- Just saying…

pregnancy starters

- announcing 
❛ so… i have some news. ❜ 
❛ you look at it, i’m too nervous. ❜ 
❛ it came back positive. ❜ 
❛ so… hypothetically, if we were to have a baby, how would you react?❜ 
❛ okay i just want to say that, yes, i have gained some weight… but it’s because i’m pregnant.❜ 
❛ better get your dad jokes ready. ❜ 
❛ you’re going to be a parent! ❜ 

- questions / hopes / concerns
❛ what names do you like? ❜
❛ i wonder if they’ll like _____. ❜
❛ do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl? ❜
❛ what if i’m a bad mom/dad? ❜
❛ i hope they like me. ❜
❛ so… do you know… what breast milk tastes like? ❜

❛ if my kid turns out like __insert person__ i’ll be pretty pleased. ❜
❛ do you think they’ll have your eyes? ❜
❛ who should we make the god parents? ❜
❛ i haven’t told __insert person__ yet… how should i tell them?❜

belly feeling / watching / interactions
❛ right here! right here’s a foot!❜
❛ the little one is quite active today.❜
❛ is that a hand?! ❜
❛ maybe you should try reading a book to them? ❜
❛ come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy! ❜
❛ the top of the baby’s head is about… here. and a foot is right this way. ❜ 

-  cravings 
❛ do you think the baby would be down if i ate some chipotle? ❜
❛ coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn i need some caffeine. ❜
❛ watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now. ❜

- other ( reactions, complaints, etc. )
❛ my feet are so swollen…! ❜
❛ ew, my stretch marks are so gross… ❜
❛ the baby will not stop kicking my bladder, so that is why i refuse to leave the toilet. ❜
❛ i’m… going to be a dad/mom?! ❜
❛ well how far along are you?!❜
❛ you’re kidding! ❜

Mounting Sheep

Same group as Ship Shennanagans and Throw the Cripple.

Context: the party is fighting dwarven raiders riding sheep, which are actually beast shaped druids. And the riders have the mounted combat feat, one of the abilities allows them to force an attack against them rather than the mount. The raiders were there more to cause chaos than actual harm so they mostly hit the houses in the village

Flork OOC(Barbarian): I’d like to hit number three

DM me(OOC): The sheep or the rider?

Flork (OOC): the sheep

DM: As you swing, the dwarf knocks your blade towards him because he doesn’t want you to hurt his wife.

Players: ???

Later, one of the sheep is crossing an area effectively covered with the spike growth spell and takes enough damage to revert back.

DM: As it crosses, the sheep’s form shrinks into that of a dwarvan woman with the rider sitting on her piggy back style, who then promptly slides off and lands in the thorns.


DM: Now that she has used her second beast shape her wife is going to mount her.

various snickers from the players.

Later, Lexatie (rogue) threw down ball bearings right on one of the sheep hoping it will slow them down.

DM: This sheep is going to move–

Lexatie (OOC): does it trip over my balls?

After combat Nesvroth (rogue/craftsman) goes to one of the homes to make sure people are alright.

Violet OOC (Alchemist): where were these people during the attack?

DM (OOC): they hid in their homes

Nesvroth (OOC): As they were crumbling around them?

DM (OOC): Fair point.

Violet (OOC): They’re still eating their soup as dust is settling in it

DM (OOC): It adds texture!

Sucked Back In

Prompt: Batmom is secretly a well known street racer? One night the boys and/or Batman see Batmom racing and confront her. Or she gets arrested for illegal racing and has to wait until morning to call Bruce to bail her out of jail.

Words: 465

“I can explain.”

Bruce smirks a bit and crosses his arms, “This should be good, please do.”

You scowl a bit, if these bars weren’t separating you, you’d pinch your husband. It just figures, he’s a freaking vigilante, and he NEVER gets caught, but you come out of retirement for one little race, and suddenly you have to make bail.

“I might have, kind of, been a street racer back in the day.”

Bruce just stares before saying, “Excuse me?”

You shrug, “My brother used to street race, and he’d take me with him. I grew up learning everything about cars, and how to make them faster. It’s how I got into engineering. I mean you had to know I had an obsession with cars, I designed Sharone after all.” Bruce’s lips quirk up a bit at your name for the batmobile.

“And tonight?” He asks

You shrug, “Couldn’t help myself, the guy beside me started revving his engine, and he looked so damn smug, and well … what can I say? I made him eat my dust.”

Bruce full on smile this time, “And in a Minivan no less.”

You grin at that, “I might have made some adjustments to it.”

Bruce just nods and says, “To reach over 100 MPH I would think so.”

The sound of footsteps draws your eyes to the door as a uniform cop comes in and opens your cell door, “We’re letting you off with a warning this time, Mrs. Wayne. “

You smile and say, “Thank you officer, it won’t happen again.”

He gives you a small smile as Bruce wraps an arm around your shoulder and asks,“Which brother?”

You grin, “Bobby.”

Bruce pauses at that, “Your DA brother used to street race?”

          You nod as you get him walking again, “Yep it’s how he and I paid for college. We both managed to graduate debt free too.”

“But he drives a Volvo, and I’ve ridden with him, he goes 5 mph under the speed limit.”

You smile at the confusion in your husband’s voice, “It’s very easy to get sucked back in Bruce, and Bobby knows that. He’s a smart cookie.”

Bruce just smiles and kisses your forehead before saying, “I can’t believe I married a street racer.”

You kiss him back and say, “If you really loved me you’d let me take Sharone out.”

He shakes his head before saying, “Not a chance pretty lady. Remember it’s really easy to get sucked back in, and I don’t want you racing the other carpool moms.”

You scowl and say, “Haha very funny,” before taking the keys out of his hand and waving them back and forth, “But now, I’m the one driving home.” You can’t help but smile as he groans.

Hating someone and not loving them back are the same in my mind
So I’m sorry if I’ve been distant lately but it’s hard to look you in the eyes when I swear I feel you planning my demise
You said you’d take my body,
Will you take my life too?
I know I don’t think I know you
If I do it’s a ghostly presence and I’m not sure I even want it
But habit and repetition are hard friends
And I’m scared that you’re just counting the minutes until our nights together eventually end
If you want to leave go right ahead
But you can not stay inside my body without at least acknowledging that you breed yourself in my mind instead.
You wanted a fertile girl,
While I can’t give you a baby I can give you head that will make you forget whatever you were worried about when you walked in,
I don’t want to worship your body in a kinky way because I can’t separate sex and love, I’m sorry,
You got me in the habit
I really can’t stand it,
So please, you either need to love me back or you have to leave.
I’m sure you won’t take it to heart,
I know that you have one I have seen the aftermath of your private heartbreaks, but for some reason whenever I come along you lose it.
Your words are harsh and cruel
They slice so fast and deep you didn’t even notice what you did
because the blood couldn’t be seen yet
Is it worth it?
I’m drugged and crawling on the floor feeling like you beat me black and blue and I’m reminded of those nights together where this was just part of the fun
I can’t do anything without thinking about sharing it with you
I know no one wants to hear it but
I love you so much
You make me so happy I could lay here forever, so
For now I’ve decided to stay just one more day
—  Tinkerbell Eats Fairy Dust For Dinner

anonymous asked:

do you happen to have that gutloading info/illustration, with the empty taco shell analogy? I cant for the life of me find it or remember who i saw it from...

It’s wasn’t me! I don’t find that graphic to be particularly accurate, though doing a search I couldn’t find it again. 

Feeder insects are indeed deficient in some nutrients. However, they are more like full tacos missing only one or two ingredients, and just feeding healthy fruits and veggies to them will not help with those deficiencies.

Insects have nutritional content without being gutloaded. They are adequate for most minerals other than calcium, and they contain fat and protein. 

Here is some nutritional content of common feeder insects, without gutloading.

Not all feeder insects are fed at all before feeding – for example, it’s best to keep BSFL cool and unfed before feeding them to your pet. They have a very good calcium:phosphorus ration and don’t even need to be dusted, though they are deficient in some vitamins. (As with most larva, smaller BSFL are lower in fat than larger ones, so the smallest that will be accepted by the reptile should be fed.)

The main issue is that most commonly fed insects have a poor calcium to phosphorus ratio, and lack vitamins. You typically want your pet’s food to have a 2:1 Ca:P ratio. 

Here is information on various insects’ Ca:P ratios.

Now, this can be fixed in a variety of ways. One is to dust the insects with proper calcium and vitamin supplements. 

The other is to use a gutload that actually works – and there aren’t many of these. The only one I can recommend is T-Rex Calcium Plus Food for Crickets. From that first link, “It should be noted however that many commercially available gut-loading diets failed to increase the calcium content of crickets presumably due to improper formulation.” Most tested gutloads simply didn’t correct the Ca:P ratio or help with the lack of vitamins. One thing that seems to be a problem is most gutloads use too large a calcium particle and the insects literally eat around it. (It is cheaper than using the extremely finely ground calcium. This is also why it’s hard to make your own gutload; it’s not easy to find calcium ground fine enough and readily ingested.)

Note that gutloading is very different from simply feeding your insects a nutritious diet. The term has been diluted to mean maintenance feeding, but this is inaccurate and not helpful in the discussion of feeder insect nutrition. Formal gutloading must be done within 24 - 48 hours of the insect being fed and no longer (and nutritional levels decline after 24 hours), and is a very specific high-calcium and vitamin diet. Simply feeding the insects nutritious food like veggies will not correct the Ca:P ratio! Feeding an insect colony gutload constantly will likely result in die-off so they can’t be fed indefinitely. 

Maintenance diets are important to create a healthy, nutritious feeder overall – obviously a starved feeder will be less nutritious than a healthy one. Ideally they should eat a moisture-rich, vitamin-rich, varied diet for the feeder’s own health. 

I recommend using this guide to choosing vegetables (focusing on the “green” rated veggies whenever possible) for your feeders’ maintenance diet, and feeding a nutritious grain-based staple with less than 20% protein as well, such as DE-free poultry mash (Purina Layena Sunfresh Crumbles or  Albers’ All Purpose Poultry Feed are the two I know of), Total Cereal, or Natural Bearded Dragon Food Adult Formula. Just keep in mind, this diet is not a gutload.

Here is a really good study which covers why gutloading is difficult and sometimes unreliable (rates of ingestion at different instars [ages], optimal ways to offer the food, etc.).

I don’t believe these articles are available for free online (however, you can purchase and download them if not) but I highly recommend these studies evaluating different commercial gutloads available:

Finke MD. 2003. “Gut loading to enhance the nutrient content of insects as food for reptiles: A mathematical approach.” Zoo Biology 22: 147-162.

Finke, Mark D., S. Dunham, and Christabel A. Kwabi. 2005.  "Evaluation of four dry commercial gut loading products for improving the calcium content of crickets, Acheta domesticus.“ J Herp Med Surg 15.1: 7-12.

Finke, M. D., S. U. Dunham, and J. S. Cole. 2004. “Evaluation of various calcium-fortified high moisture commercial products for improving the calcium content of crickets, Acheta domesticus.” J Herp Med Surg 14.2: 17-20.

These studies are why I only recommend the T-Rex. Some commercial gutloads such as Mazuri Hi Calcium Gut Load rate higher than a maintenance diet, but I don’t know if they properly correct the Ca:P. Other gutloads have come out since the study was conducted, but because we don’t have any scientific analysis of them I can not recommend them.

In addition, feeding insects with plant-based vitamin A gutload may not translate to the reptile being able to use that vitamin A, particularly in strict insectivores. There have been many cases of reptiles like chameleons suffering from vitamin A deficiency despite eating gutloaded or dusted insects. Make sure that for strict insectivores/carnivores the vitamin A in the supplement is retinol (animal source), not carotenoids (plant source).

Alternatively, one can dust insects and feed a nutritious maintenance diet. My reptile vet is anti-dusting (he only recommends T-Rex gutload and no other options) but this is definitely not a universal view from reptile vets. Many will recommend dusting. My vet’s concern is hypercalcaemia from the fact that dusting supplements are not measured or exact, or vitamin D overdose (the latter is definitely a problem with certain dust brands; here is a clip from an article on vitamin D overdose from Douglas R. Mader, DVM). 

The two dusting regimens I personally recommend are:

Dusting with Repashy Calcium Plus with every insect feeding.


A schedule of rotation for different feedings through the week, using a calcium with D3, a vitamin supplement, and possibly a plain calcium. 

I waited until several breeders and other keepers had good success with the Repashy Calcium Plus before switching to it, since it seemed like an all-in-one wouldn’t be adequate or might result in excesses of some nutrients and lack of others. But it’s well accepted and seems to work! If anyone has encountered problems with this supplement I would like to hear it, though.

Not all dusts are created equal, just like gutloads. For plain calcium you have many options, such as human grade calcium powder. For calcium with D3, I have had good success with ZooMed Repti Calcium with D3. I also like ZooMed Reptivite for a vitamin supplement. 

Avoid these supplements:  Fluker’s Calcium with vitamin D3 (too much D3),  Rep-Cal Calcium with vitamin D3 (too much D3),  Exo Terra Multi Vitamin (beta carotene instead of pre-formed vitamin A, no B12).

Note that dusts must be used immediately before feeding the insects, as many insects will quickly groom them off.

The amount you use is far lower than you’d think! Read the instructions and be sure you’re *lightly* dusting with the vitamins and calcium with D3 on only the number of insects recommended for your pet’s weight.

I personally do not suggest using T-Rex (gutloading) and dusting, as the risk of hypercalcaemia and vitamin overdose increases. Both are adequate on their own for most animals, though laying females may benefit from additional plain calcium. It can also be dangerous to use both a supplement with D3 and UVB lighting, which is why there are different “indoor” and “outdoor” supplements available from many companies. Not all UVB lamps are created equal so this may depend on your setup. Always be sure your animal can choose between basking under the UVB and finding a shady place.

I know this isn’t the short and sweet infographic that you were looking for, but I find those graphics misleading and lacking very important information. Reptile nutrition, gutloading, and supplements is not a simple topic!

This is just my interpretation of the scientific data available; I hope the links and resources provided will help others come to their own conclusions. 

That said, now I really want tacos.

Ok but please consider sincerely three having date nights once a week and alternating who picks the date like first week is Evan, next is Connor, then Jared, and then all three of them agree on something special at the end of every month (because lowkey they probably got together near the end of a month and thats kind of how they celebrate their love)

it gets long and gay oops

Keep reading

Goodnight Groot

Here’s a quick one-shot of that Guardians of the Galaxy story I mentioned in this post. It was written for my sister and was specially requested to be posted here by @sgcfcjohnpreston782.


Gamora was marching through the Quadrant, her eyes squinted and her ears alert.

It was late and she couldn’t seem to find anyone. Well, except Kraglin, who had fallen asleep at the cockpit.

“At least someone’s asleep.” She had muttered to herself. As the assassin walked towards Peter’s room, she could hear the sounds of several men whooping and hollering.

She arched her eyebrow and thought, I swear if Groot’s still in there, I’m gonna kill Peter.

Gamora peeked through the slightly cracked doorway of Peter’s room. And sure enough, she saw Drax, Peter, Baby Groot, and Rocket all huddled around the monitor, small devices in their hands.

She felt her hands clench to fists. What were they thinking?! Groot was still a baby and needed his rest!

“DIE VILLAINS!” Drax yelled, smacking his hand on Rocket’s back, who let out a yelp and slipped off the bed.

“AH CRAP!” Rocket angrily threw his device on the ground, “YOU MADE ME DIE!”

Drax acknowledged the raccoon, by letting out an obnoxious laugh and a witty comment. “YOU LOST SMALL TRASH PANDA.”

“SHUT UP! YOU’RE MAKING ME LOSE MY FOCUS.” Peter hollered, glancing down to make sure Groot hadn’t fallen off his lap yet.

“Go Peter!” A woman’s small voice exclaimed. Gamora realized that was Mantis.


Gamora shoved open the bedroom door and stormed towards the monitor, shutting it off.

“HEY!” Peter screamed. He angrily looked at the green assassin and held up his device, “We were still playing that!”

“Have you looked at the time?!” She hollered back at him. “Groot was supposed to be in bed an hour and a half ago!”

“We were playing our game and lost track of time.” Peter said, “It’s as easy as that.”

Gamora’s teeth were clenched as she smiled, obviously annoyed. “Oh, that’s right…I’m sorry…You meant you were just thinking about yourselves and not Groot’s sake. That’s fine.”

Rocket, Peter, and Drax were all nodding, but both the raccoon and the alien stopped, leaving just the ex-criminal, who turned red.

“Nonononono. Don’t make this about me, Gamora.” Peter lifted his hands defensively. “You are not gonna blame me for this one.” Mantis stood up and played with her fingers.

“Gamora, when I told Peter that you told him to put Groot to bed, he said that it would be okay and not to worry about what you said.” She stated, her antennae twitching nervously. When Drax and Rocket burst out laughing, she joined in.

Gamora crossed her arms and glared at Peter, “Tell me you didn’t say that.”

He blinked and rapidly stood up, placing a yawning Groot against his chest. “Shhhh; go to sleep, go to sleep.” He whispered. 

Gamora had to admit - if she wasn’t completely angry with him, she’d find it adorable…

“Peter, I asked you a question.” She told him.

He carefully walked past her and towered over her proportioned body. He smirked as he glanced down at her, his lips extremely close to her forehead.

“Shhh; wouldn’t want to wake the baby.”

Gamora huffed and rolled her eyes, as Mantis and Drax stared at them in shock, and Rocket let out a sound of disgust.