The Cosmic Grocery Store has a lot of nerve, believing that there’s anything at all they could freely offer that the Greys have any use for. They make their orange juice in house with lots of pulp. Big deal. Mulder hates pulp. They have an olive bar and whole coffee beans and twelve types of grapes. Whatever. Aliens don’t eat grapes.
Its not any different from the men who claimed to have shaken hands with the enemy, who, despite their limp dicks and aging hearts, climbed into bed with them instead, heart shaped beds, blood green and floating in the sky. And they got fucked and got fucked and got fucked and Mulder knows as well as he knows anything that these grocers are just the same except no one is getting sucked off and everyone is buying organic.
The thing about The Cosmic Grocery Store is that there isn’t just the one. It pops up like Walmart and eats conspiracy like Walmart eats Middle America. It’s different now. It is. No one writes zines anymore. No one takes Xanax. No one meets him in dark alleys and plays ball and gets him punched in the face for looking too hard into things.
For the sake of the argument, okay – assume that the Greys, this whole time, were only interested in humans because they grow shit, and they sell it, and then they grow more shit. That just hurts Mulder in more ways than one. I thought we were special, he wants to yell. There’s more to life than free trade and capital accumulation. We are artists! We hurt and we bleed and we suffer! YOU make us suffer! I, MYSELF, have suffered!
And you want coupons? That’s all you want?
The Cosmic Grocery Store is full of it.
Aliens are not interested in coupons. There is nothing you can sell them they have not already considered stealing and cloning and putting to work.
why do you hate yoda? not an attack I'm just really curious
I appreciate your curiosity because I am ALWAYS up for the chance to rant about my hate for that lil green fucker. Ok so here goes:
To me, Yoda represents everything that is wrong with the Jedi Order. The way he interprets and enforces the code is just highly misguided and allows for no exceptions, and this is one of the things that ultimately leads to Anakin’s issues and the downfall of the Jedi.
Let’s start with Anakin. So you have this nine year old kid who was literally just rescued from slavery and whose life has changed drastically within a matter of days. He’s going through a whirlwind of extreme emotions, as would be natural for anyone in that situation, especially a NINE YEAR OLD CHILD. It’s fucked up enough to not expect any child in that situation to feel fear, but this isn’t even a typical case of a padawan who is recruited by the Jedi from a young age from a healthy family environment with parental consent. This is a boy who was rescued from slavery in order to become a Jedi, and who is reconciling the fact that he is now a free person while the mother he loves dearly is still enslaved. That’s a big fucking emotional burden to deal with. Considering the situation, Anakin actually deals with it in a much more mature and controlled way than many other kids his age would. But nooo, apparently that’s not good enough for Yoda, who can “sense” his fear. How dare Yoda, who is NOT a slave, has not EVER BEEN ENSLAVED (to our knowledge) try to police the emotions of a child who is fresh out of the system of slavery. Who the hell is he to know or say what is right to feel in that situation. But not only does he condemn that Anakin feels afraid, he acts in a way that suggests to Anakin that his fear and emotions might keep him from being trained as a Jedi. Mind you, this kid had JUST BEEN FREED in order to BECOME A JEDI. From Anakin’s perspective, he might think that if he doesn’t get to be a Jedi he has to go back to being a slave on Tatooine. So this is a pivotal moment for Anakin, where he is told that his fear and emotions will not be accepted, and he makes the decision going forward that he needs to repress these things. Right here in this moment is when Yoda already predisposes Anakin to be vulnerable to Palpatine’s influence. He is already putting this kid on the defensive and setting the path for him to repress his emotions in a dangerous way. Then, even after Anakin is granted status as a padawan and then a Jedi Knight, Yoda never fully accepts or trusts him. He is always wary of Anakin and is pretty damn obvious about it. And he’s a representative of the Jedi Council. So instead of Anakin seeing the council as people who are on his side who he can trust and turn to in times of need, he sees a council who does not like him, does not trust him, and who he can’t be open with about issues he’s facing. So many of the bad events of RoTS stem from a lack of communication between Anakin and anyone else. Because he’s been taught that his emotions and fears are not normal to have or an ok thing to experience, he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about them—not just to the Council, but to anyone. So he doesn’t turn to the council, he doesn’t turn to Padme, he doesn’t turn to Obi Wan, because he believes that what he’s feeling is unacceptable and should be pushed aside rather than discussed. And THIS is what makes him vulnerable to Palpatine. And I would argue that all of this is primarily Yoda’s fault.
So if THAT wasn’t enough… this little green nugget of bad kush learns nothing from his mistakes. How do I know that? Because he tries the same bullshit with Luke. Like, fucking up one Skywalker apparently wasn’t enough for him. He goes into hiding for a long time and you would think that during that time alone on Dagobah MAYBE he would find some time to take personal responsibility in his role of failing Anakin and realize what practices and shortcomings led to the downfall of the Jedi. You’d think that he’d realize that maybe the “no attachments” part of the code was outdated and wrong and partially responsible for what led to Anakin turning to the Dark Side. Nope. None of this happens. On Dagobah when Luke realizes that Han and Leia are in trouble, Yoda tries to stop him from going to save them! He tries to argue that Luke should let Han and Leia die so that he can “honor what they fight for.” What bullshit is that? Luckily, Luke doesn’t listen to this mess and still goes and saves Han and Leia, but honestly after all this time Yoda STILL doesn’t realize that MAYBE he’s been doing something wrong.
I won’t go into it, but he’s also kinda a piece of shit regarding Ahsoka’s trial in TCW. Basically,to me, Yoda represents this pervasive toxic masculinity of the Jedi Order that views having emotions as weak and dangerous. I’ll finish my rant with this excerpt from some book that I think is in the legends-verse now.
So I’ve gone through a LOT of Zutara fanfiction, probably too much if I’m being honest, and finding good fics can be really hard. When looking up fic rec lists I’ve noticed that a lot of the lists are just the same select fanfictions recommended over and over (We get it, everyone and their mother loves ‘His Majesty Prefers Blue’ and ‘Stormbenders’ [I never finished HMPB, sue me]).
So this list is for all of you who are in my shoes and can’t seem to find anything besides the same ten or fifteen stories recommended and are desperate for something new. Everything listed is complete! (If I listed the incompletes/abandoned stories I’d have a lot more chaptered stories listed… RIP ‘The Confrontational Approach’…)
I have a lot of bookmarked stories that I have yet to read and am in the middle of (Almost caught up on @firelordandlady ‘s ‘Say Anything’!), so I’ll try to update this when I finish something I think deserves a recommendation.
In a world where there is no war, Zuko and Katara spend their summers together. Growing up is messy, embarrassing, and at times sad, but they think it might be okay because they have each other. Edited summary.
I know. I KNOW. I LITERALLY JUST SAID I WASN’T GOING TO RECOMMEND FANFICS THAT ARE ON EVERYONE’S LIST. But I NEED to mention this one. I spent so long not interested in this fic. I don’t like drastic AU’s, or modern AU’s. My taste is strictly canon divergence, so I didn’t think I would like this. I WAS SO WRONG. Trust me, if you are like me and don’t like big AU’s, read this anyway. I promise, you won’t be disappointed. Characterization is still so spot on, even with such a different take. Aang is precious. There is nothing but fluff, fluff, and fluff. It will melt you. You will probably die and your spirit will rise up smiling and beaming out rainbows and sunshine. That’s what happened to me.
A tale of clumsy courtship and calamitous court weddings, featuring awkward family encounters, floral mishaps, cultural complications, and good old fashioned fluff and conflict. Takes place in the five years following war’s end. For Zutara Week 2016. A prequel to Bones.
Clothe Me in Seasons, Dress Me in Snow is a very commonly recommended Zutara fic (And for good reason, I shed many tears reading it). But this two-shot (A companion to Bones, a smut one shot) by the same author is really underrated and beautifully written. It follows Zuko and Katara as they try to plan their wedding, as well as shows two scenes from before they got engaged that solidified the relationship to be one they knew would last. Just really well done overall and very very sweet.
EDIT: I talked with the author and apparently it isn’t finished?? But they are apparently working on the next chapters so yay!! And each chapter is independent so it doesn’t feel unfinished.
Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind - Taang, Zutara, Sukka
This is technically a Taang fic, and if I’m being honest I kind of just skimmed through the non-zutara chapters, but the Zutara storyline was good enough that I think it’s definitely worth the read. And the overall plot has a great premise. Be warned, it has a sequel that was never finished.
Five years have passed since the Avatar defeated Fire Lord Ozai, and the members of the Gaang have all gone in their own direction. But when Aang invites them all to a Peace Summit at the North Pole and tells them of his new project, for which he will need their support, the group comes together again for adventure, fun and romance. AU. Zutara. COMPLETE.
So this fic is crazy for me. At first, it started as just really good natured fluff. The writing wasn’t anything fantastic (Although I loved how it broke the 4th wall and didn’t take itself seriously), and there were some definite OOC moments. But I had so much FUN with it. The plot (while definitely not the focus as everyone is more concerned about when Zuko and Katara will get together) was interesting, and there were some really sweet moments. It was also HILARIOUS and I had multiple moments where I genuinely laughed out loud. But then about five chapters before the end, the quality SKY ROCKETED. As the plot and mystery come together, the characters all come together in a moment that truly feels like it came from the show. Even the writing quality increases by a lot and I was genuinely shocked and impressed. Definitely recommend.
When a blizzard shuts down the fourth annual Peace Summit, the group has to find some way to pass the time. /Zutara, Taang, Jet/Mai, Jet/Everyone, Sukka
If you’re looking for a good crack fic, look no further. It’s post war and utter nonsense. Jet is alive for some reason??? No one questions it and he’s shipped with pretty much everyone. It’s funny, it’s decently written, there are drinking and sexy time shenanigans, and overall just lighthearted. Also, it does a great job of being a crack fic without crossing the line and becoming unfunny and just a trash fic. A lot struggle to find the balance and resort to going over the top and ridiculous, but this one does a really good job.
Coauthored by fuzzytomato. Troubled over his newly restored honor, Zuko finds solace in the familiar guise of the Blue Spirit. In a chance meeting with the Painted Lady, a friendship is forged as the two heroes seek to help the Fire Nation’s neglected.
I’ll admit it: I’ve never gotten into Blutara fanfictions. I only read the first couple chapters of HMPB and dropped it after the tree scene. I don’t know, it felt really OOC for me and I may go back and read it again just because EVERYONE raves about it, but IDK. I’ve never been a huge Blutara fan because while I love the concept, I’d much rather see the Painted Lady and the Blue Spirit come together as equals. Most fics present Zuko behind his mask to Katara, and it feels imbalanced. There aren’t a lot of stories where we see their alter persona’s come together even though that’s the entire point of the parallel between the two. Insert this fic. I only wish there was a sequel dealing with Zuko in the Gaang after these events. Hey, a girl can dream.
Katara, the only suviving waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe, joins two con men, Zuko and Iroh, while a fearful admiral chases for her death. A Zutara Story. Based on the movie Anastasia.
So this isn’t so much a retelling of Anastasia but with Katara and Zuko as it is a fanfic version of the movie but with the characters names and world changed. It takes a lot of lines from the movie. But WHO CARES? It’s Anastasia and Zutara!!! What more do you need???
Word travels, and war stories will be told round campfires and on freighter ships until every person in the world knows what Master Katara did for the new Fire Lord. She fights the burning in her throat at the thought of people knowing why she had to heal him in the first place. Post-war Zutara.
This is an angst-with-a-happy-ending, which I say is the absolute BEST type of angst. Katara deals with the guilt of what Zuko did for her as the Fire Nation celebrates what she did to save his life during the Agni Kai. The two come together beautifully while struggling to see the feelings they both share. Really well written and like I said, it has a happy ending, which we all need.
The night before his eighteenth birthday Zuko wraps a bandage around his left wrist. He has a country to run and no time for frivolous things. It will make everything easier if he waits. Zutara Soulmates AU
Toph thinks Katara and Zuko were a ridiculously, incredibly, stupidly adorable couple. There is only one problem, they were not actually going out. This confuses Toph. could stand alone or be read as a companion peice to my stalking series
Fun fact: Before this oneshot, I had only ever read one fanfiction over 200k words, and had no desire to read another one again. And then I read this. This one shot was so fantastic that it was the reason I ended up reading the ‘Not Stalking Zuko’ trilogy (Also by emletish), which totals almost 900k words because this companion piece had me so sold. Yeah, it’s THAT good.
ZUTARA WEEK 2012 Day Seven: Seasons. There are many stages that a heart goes through before it can finally be ready for the love it was meant to have. The road is often a rocky one but eventually, it leads you home.
A oneshot for the Zutara Week 2012 prompt ‘Seasons’. Not too much to say about it. Short, sweet, and well written. What more do you need?
ZUTARA WEEK 2010 Day Three: Pain. After watching “The Ember Island Players”, no one is in the mood for teasing. But a little slip of the tongue leads to the painful realization that the play was more accurate than they were willing to admit.
There are two Zutara plots/tropes that I am a complete and utter SLUT for. The first is the ‘Let’s talk about that EIP show’ trope. This is one of my favorites.
Why do our hearts remain dormant until a climactic moment makes time stand still?
And here’s yet another finale rewrite. There is a really popular Zutara gifset that someone animated of the Agni Kai ‘Thank you’ scene, but Katara kisses Zuko after she hugs him. This is the fanfiction equivalent of that gif set.
Zuko and Katara; the moments we didn’t see. Or: Maybe we are all somebody’s ghost. And maybe sometimes we can be more than that.
“…My quarrel has only ever been with you, Zuko,” she says, his name sharp on her tongue. “This has only ever been about me and you.”
“You’re wrong,” he rasps, his voice rough in the late afternoon sunlight that falls around them, tangles them in golden nets. “This has only ever been about me and the Avatar. Not you and me. What we hold between us has nothing to do with it.”
This is a really beautiful one-shot that follows a battered, war torn and hardened Zuko and Katara through the scenes we DIDN’T see throughout the entire show. A Zutara must-read.
A collection of humorous and crack-tastic oneshots corresponding to the days of Zutara Month
Really great Zutara Month themed drabbles, and it contains the only body swapping plot that I’ve read and really enjoyed. Also the chapters ‘Potential’ and ‘Festival’ are some of my all time favorites.
Zuko was many things, but a coward he was not. A collection of Zutara100 prompts. Title may change.
Definitely some heartbreakers and angsty drabbles in here, but all well written and thoroughly enjoyable. If you read ANYTHING from this list, read chapter two of this drabble collection. I MELTED when I read it. It’s perfection. Aunt Wu’s prediction has always been a plotline I’ve loved in Zutara fanfiction, and this one just does it PERFECTLY.
It started at a tea shop and ended with forever. My entries for Zutara Week 2015. I hope you enjoy them.
Oh my GOODNESS. So they’re Zutara Week prompts, but all set in the same universe. The Zutara!Family depicted in these drabbles has become my headcanon. I’ve seen many a Zutara family, but this one is by far my FAVORITE. This is now my official family for them. I want the very last chapter fully animated because it’s so good and epic and I want more of this families adventures.
Ok, so to start off, the “Geonocide continues” or “Gc” theory is going to focus not on how plot progresses, but mainly on “How the game works from programming aspect”.
You may think that Camila wouldnt do something as “Advanced” as that, and you may think something like “Camila is animator, not a programmist DUH”, but let me prove you wrong.
In this case, she has basic knowledge on how game would behave, so lets continue.
Now, lets talk about how the game would behave.
Undertale save works as a text file, that game can read, for example, if you didnt kill papyrus it would look like that (simplified version)
Papyrus killed = 0
And in this case, “0″ means null, he was not killed.
Lets talk about how reset works.
It basically erases current variables all to “0″, but Undertale was programmed to remember some things.
Now, lets see how would it look if you had killed papyrus .
Papyrus killed = 1
And after reset it should have been something like that
Papyrus killed = 0
Yes, but with one exception, it would create ANOTHER variable, so the thing would look like this
Papyrus killed = 0
Papyrus REMEMBERS being killed = 1
And that is basically how undertale behaves.
Same works with routes, and as we know, Frisk had completed every possible route (seing every line of dialogue means beating every neutral version, because of unique Sans’ dialogue at the end), up to the Megalomaniac when they fail to complete Geonocide route.
Now, in healthy condition after resetting it should make save to something like:
Geonocide = 0
But as we know, after Frisk had escaped they have created first glitch, allowing them to reset mid-battle.
Now, we’ve seen more glitches after resetting, meaning that something went wrong with “Reset” option.
And quickly we can come to conclusion that it didnt reset values, but created two values that cannot co-exist.
for example you can’t have values like
Papyrus killed = 1
Papyrus killed = 0
At the same time, because the game will not know what to do, creating more and more glitches after resets, as resetting adds false variables to the save file.
In Glitchtale, it eventually came to point where ONE MORE false value in save file, will make timeline (in this case save) to erase itself.
At this point in time, we know that we are on hard mode, because in “Yet darker” we saw the file being named “Frisk”
And as it is hard mode, game GAINS the ability to SPAWN objects, for example it can spawn final froggit in ruins.
But what if it can spawn something to fix itself?
As it is spawning more things, it also gains ability to create new “stories”.
The game is smarter than we thought.
What if the game was to create one powerfull being, so that it can fix the game itself?
And you are right, the game did that, and so the game created Betty.
Now, for some of you being like “But it was bravery who created her!”
I need to say one thing, the bravery, twins, and whole story is STILL inside the game, it is still INSIDE the window frame.
Meaning that game could “create” story for Betty to make it look less, well, suspicious?
How would Betty work by then?
Well, Betty would be just a “Eraser tool” to erase every false value to point it was last time the game was ok, and this last time was Geonocide run.
By that, it means that from these two values:
Papyrus killed = 0
Papyrus killed = 1
Betty would have erased “
Papyrus killed = 0 “, leaving him killed as it originally was on the Geonocide route before Frisk decided to glitch.
And what’s the order of killing?
Everything in the game needs to proceed with some sort of “order”.
And get ready for your mind to get blown,
The game thinks we are inside “Pacifist” route, but with Geonocide value, meaning it would take ONLY order we see in Pacifist route, and let Betty kill them by it.
AND WHAT IS THE ONLY ORDER WE SEE IN GAME?
That is right!
We dont get a chance to see anything other in normal pacifist route in game, so the Game itself took the only order it could find.
The core starting point is Frisk, and the nearest ones to stand by them will die first.
For example, Sans And Alphys are standing RIGHT next to frisk, and they died first, the next one in order would be Undyne, but she has the thing.
After some calculations I’ve come to this order:
- Undyne (She will loose her whole determination but not die just now)
- Undyne (Now she dies, no determination =D )
- Toriel/Asgore (it is hard to tell which one)
So as we came to the conclusion,
The villain is the game itself.
Thank you for reading, I hope you liked my theory, and remember, it is ONLY a theory, meaning it can be wrong with some things, or with everything or it can also be 100% accurate!
Feel free to voice that on YouTube, just say that it is MINE theory and put my name on screen and in description of video.
As a witch and an avid coffee lover, I felt like its time for some frappuccino magick (and some suggested stones you can pair with them)!
A little disclaimer - No, I am not being paid to post this or anything… I just really like coffee. 😊
Caramel - Bring some sweetness into your day! Caramel is sticky and sweet, so drink some to attract positivity and comfort to stick with you throughout the day! You could also drink it while you’re studying to help things stick in your brain. Pair with sodalite.
Chai Creme - Don’t you mean the perfect spiced up love potion in coffee form?? This frappuccino uses a spicy chai tea which contains black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, clove, star anise, and pepper aka your perfect blend of passion, charm, courage, lust, and aphrodisiacs.. *wink wink*. Pair with garnet.
Cinnamon Dolce - On the go? Pairing cinnamon, coffee, and sugary goodness is great for boosting your energy! Relaxing? Who doesn’t love a warm cinnamon-y sugar feeling? You can also use this beverage to bring peace and relaxation! Pair with carnelian / blue lace agate.
Coffee - Coffee is fantastic for mental clarity and grounding. If you’re having one of those days, get some coffee and go for a walk. Take advantage of the boosted alertness to enjoy nature, clear your mind, and overcome any internal blockages. Pair with hematite.
Cotton Candy - (Does not contain caffeine) This vanilla and raspberry frappuccino is perfect for two things: peace and love. Vanilla’s calming aroma paired with this fruit of patience encourages peace of mind. On the other hand, vanilla’s loving vibrations paired with raspberries’ fidelity give you a perfect romance drink. (Raspberries are also used with pregnancy spells which is great because it is also caffeine free!) Pair with moonstone.
Green Tea -
Matcha green tea is great for healing! It boosts immunity, reduces bad cholesterol, promotes healthy cell growth, is high in antioxidants, and helps you to relax if you are tense. When drinking, you can see your beverage cleansing and detoxing with every sip you take. Pair with bloodstone.
Java Chip and
Mocha - One word: chocolate. These two frappuccinos are practically the same thing except one has chocolate chips in it, so I’m going to group them together. Chocolate is all about love and friendship, and people often give or receive chocolate as rewards. Pair it with a self-love bath and indulge. You deserve it! Pair with rhodonite.
Midnight Mint - How about a minty sweet cleanse? Mint is all about protection and cleansing, and when paired with chocolate brings a little positivity with it. Mint is also great for breaking spells, hexes, and jinxes, so if you’re feeling a bit wary, go grab yourself a drink! Pair with black tourmaline.
☕ Pumpkin Spice - The perfect drink around Samhain to give you all your favorite fall spices in one! Pumpkins are fantastic for bringing some money your way especially when paired with the other spices in your PSF. On top of that, pumpkins are great for divination. Tarot readings in Starbucks, anyone? Pair with aventurine.
Strawberries & Creme - (Does not contain caffeine) Strawberries are very similar to raspberries correspondence wise. This drink is great for innocent or platonic love and happiness! Pair this drink with a friendship spell, or just grab one with your best bud. Pair with rose quartz.
Vanilla Bean -(Does not contain caffeine)
Vanilla is always known for its amazing aroma! This drink is fantastic to drink for positivity, whether for yourself, or paired with a spell for others or your home. Pair with amethyst.
White Chocolate Mocha - I love white chocolate for glamour! Just like regular chocolate, it brings positivity, but white chocolate has a sweeter and lighter taste to it. Drink this in the morning to give yourself some boosted confidence and self-positivity for the day! Pair with selenite.
Added note: You can always switch out regular milk for almond milk! Almond milk is great for wisdom, prosperity, fruitfulness, and healing.
“What do you think, did I get it right?” Stiles asks, turning the pad around to show Derek.
Derek looks away from his orchid. He smiles at what he sees on the paper. Reaching out, he touches Stiles on the arm, saying, “It’s perfect, except for one small thing.” Derek points to a small pencil mark, then to the actual orchid. “The column is attached to the lip, like so, you’ve drawn it so it’s part of the sepals.”
Stiles frowns, pulling the drawing closer, until his nose is barely an inch away. “Huh, I don’t see it.”
“If it helps,” Derek pulls the pad towards him, flipping to a few pages back, “This is how I drew them,” he says, pointing to a couple of misshapen blobs he tried to shape into orchids, but failed terribly. “As you can see, you’re a much better drawer than I am.”
“Point made,” Stiles says with raised brows, “how about you stick to growing them, and I’ll stick to drawing them, deal?”
Derek grins. “Deal.”
(From a fic sitting in my drafts, about botanist!Derek and beekeeper!Stiles falling for each other in Derek’s brownstone where he grows some of the rarest orchids in the world, just for kicks)