EVERYTHING-WAS-LEGIT

yesterdays jam

here it is, the it crowd au that no-one asked for. cheers @jiilys and @bantasticbeasts for being legends


Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: so

Lily Evans: so

Remus Lupin: first day

Lily Evans: ya

Remus Lupin: scary

Lily Evans: mmhmm

Remus Lupin: dont be scared

Lily Evans: im not really

Remus Lupin: u should be

Lily Evans: actually now that you mention it i am kind of scared

Remus Lupin: WELL DONT BE

Lily Evans: MAKE UP UR MIND

Lily Evans: god

Lily Evans: its like having a conversation with my anxiety

Remus Lupin: dont make me fire you on your first day here

Lily Evans: pls dont

Remus Lupin: i wont

Remus Lupin: so

Remus Lupin: im putting you in i.t

Remus Lupin: bc u said on ur cv that u have a lot of experience with computers

Lily Evans: u didnt


Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: do u actually /have/ any experience with computers??

Lily Evans: emails?? n stuff

Remus Lupin: “”””emails?? n stuff”””””??

Lily Evans: ya

Lily Evans: sending emails

Lily Evans: receiving emails

Lily Evans: deleting emails

Lily Evans: i could go on

Remus Lupin: do

Lily Evans: the web

Lily Evans: using the mouse

Lily Evans: mice

Lily Evans: using mice

Lily Evans: clicking

Lily Evans: double clicking

Lily Evans: the computer screen ofc

Remus Lupin: ofc

Lily Evans: the keyboard

Lily Evans: the bit that goes on the floor

Remus Lupin: do u mean the hard drive??

Lily Evans: correct

Remus Lupin: well

Remus Lupin: u certainly seem to kno ur stuff

Lily Evans: shut up

Remus Lupin: come on lil,,,they need a new manager

Lily Evans: dont

Remus Lupin: just take the job lil

Lily Evans: ok


Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: so,,,,the people ill be working with what r they like

Remus Lupin: quite literally the worst idiots i have ever met

Lily Evans: excellent


Marlene McKinnon to James Potter: jim

James Potter: have u tried turning it off and on again

Marlene McKinnon: um

James Potter: nice talking to you mckinnon


James Potter to Sirius Black: hey can u answer the phone

Sirius Black: i could but i dont want to

James Potter: and u wonder why no-one ever comes down here

Sirius Black: probably got something to do with that 3 day old coffee stain down ur shirt

James Potter: I TOLD U ALL MY OTHER SHIRTS ARE IN THE WASH


Mary MacDonald to Sirius Black: can u help me

Sirius Black: what with

Mary MacDonald: my computers not working

Sirius Black: have u tried turning it off and on again

Mary MacDonald: yea

Sirius Black: u kno the button on the side

Mary MacDonald: yea

Sirius Black: is it glowing??

Mary MacDonald:

Sirius Black: u need to turn it on mare

Mary MacDonald: ok hang on

Mary MacDonald: how do i do that

Sirius Black: ?? the button turns it on

Mary MacDonald:

Sirius Black: ?? u do kno how a button works dont u

Sirius Black: and if u say on clothes i am going to come up there and personally murder you

Mary MacDonald: I’d like to see you try


Andromeda Black to James Potter: Hey James.

James Potter: andy!!

Andromeda Black: Don’t call me that.

James Potter: sorry

Andromeda Black: It’s OK.

Andromeda Black: I’m having some trouble with my computer.

James Potter: wouldnt u rather talk to ur cousin abt this

Andromeda Black: I could, but I don’t want to.

James Potter: u two r more alike than u know

Andromeda Black: Shut up.

James Potter: absolutely

James Potter: so what seems to be the problem

Andromeda Black: It’s not working.

James Potter: i see

James Potter: have u tried forcing an unexpected reboot??

Andromeda Black: No, let me try.

Andromeda Black: How will that help?

James Potter: well

James Potter: the driver hooks the function by patching the system call table

James Potter: and its not safe to unload it unless another thread’s abt to jump in there and do its stuff

James Potter: and u don’t want to end up in the middle of invalid memory

James Potter: hello

James Potter: andy

James Potter: uve gone havent u


James Potter to Sirius Black: i think i just managed to successfully piss of your cousin again

Sirius Black: what else is knew


Sirius Black to Mary MacDonald: u couldnt handle all this

Mary MacDonald: i could take u any day of the week black

Sirius Black: is that so

Mary MacDonald: yes

Sirius Black: really

Mary MacDonald: stop it

Sirius Black: wow

Mary MacDonald: shut up

Sirius Black: why dont u come down here and make me

Mary MacDonald: what happened to ‘you couldn’t handle all this’

Sirius Black: u think im afraid of you??

Mary MacDonald: yes

Mary MacDonald: my brand new louboutins came in the mail next week and i know exactly the right place to stick them

Sirius Black: IM NOT AFRAID OF YOU

Sirius Black: U CAN COME DOWN HERE ANY TIME AND ILL BE WAITING FOR YOU


Sirius Black to James Potter: that told her

James Potter: can u stop fighting with mary all the time ur clogging the chat rooms


Sirius Black to James Potter: honestly its about time u got back

Sirius Black: its been all ruddy go here

James Potter: really

James Potter: how many jobs have you had

Sirius Black: one


James Potter to Sirius Black: what was the job

Sirius Black: girl on fifth

James Potter: did u hit it off

Sirius Black: define “”””hit it of”””””

James Potter: did she continue to talk to u once u’d fixed her computer

Sirius Black: she gave me her number

James Potter: r u gonna call her

Sirius Black: ?? no

James Potter: so ur just gonna toss it away

James Potter: like yesterday’s jam

Sirius Black: p much yeah

Sirius Black: and i told u to stop using that analogy

Sirius Black: jam lasts for ages


Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: u have unisex toilets??

Remus Lupin: yea

Remus Lupin: for non-binary pals

Remus Lupin: and for people having affairs

Lily Evans: i see


Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: the view up here is amazing

Remus Lupin: yep

Remus Lupin: have u found the elevators yet

Lily Evans: um

Lily Evans: yea

Lily Evans: which floor am i on

Remus Lupin: ur all the way down in the basement

Lily Evans: wait what

Lily Evans: remus

Lily Evans: ur joking arent u

Lily Evans: remus

Lily Evans: remus

Lily Evans: i know ur getting these


Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: remus

Lily Evans: the lift gets stuck halfway down

Lily Evans: and the hallway is full of maintenance stuff

Lily Evans: its disgusting

Lily Evans: i think i saw a rat


Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: ITS EVEN WORSE DOWN HERE

Lily Evans: IM READING A MAGAZINE FROM 1994

Lily Evans: WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO


James Potter to Sirius Black: theres a girl outside

Sirius Black: who is she

James Potter: i have no idea

James Potter: i cant go out there sirius

James Potter: i havent washed this shirt in three days and i forgot to put on deodorant this morning

James Potter: i havent even flossed

Sirius Black: who even flosses these days

James Potter: i do

Sirius Black: right

Sirius Black: bc ur a twat

James Potter: a twat who doesnt have gingivitis

Sirius Black: shut up

James Potter: u shut up

James Potter: one of us has to go out there

Sirius Black: u do it


Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: everything going ok??

Lily Evans: legit they both just walked out

Lily Evans: one of them was talkin abt tolstoy

Lily Evans: the other one was like “””james shut up u’ve literally never read a book in my life”””

Marlene McKinnon: thats sirius

Marlene McKinnon: he’s my favourite

Lily Evans: then james tried to lean on his chair and slipped over

Lily Evans: he stood up and he was like “”””plenty of people come down here to visit””””

Lily Evans: sirius was like “”””who, jim??? who comes down here???? what people????””””””

Lily Evans: james threw something at him and sirius was like “””””why are you giving me the secret signal to shut up????”””””

Lily Evans: then james was like “””what can we do you for??””””

Marlene McKinnon: cringe

Lily Evans: so i told them

Lily Evans: and bolted

Marlene McKinnon: what r u doing now

Lily Evans: im hiding in my office

Marlene McKinnon: smooth


James Potter to Sirius Black: I AM THE HEAD OF THIS DEPARTMENT

Sirius Black: i thought i was

James Potter: WELL ITS ONE OF US

James Potter: ITS CERTAINLY NOT HER

James Potter: IM GOING TO GO SORT THIS OUT


James Potter to Lily Evans: i dont mean to be rude or anything but i was not informed of any changes happening to this department

Lily Evans: did they not tell you about me??

James Potter: no sir

James Potter: and for what its worth we dont need you down here

James Potter: were perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves

Lily Evans: sure

Lily Evans: you do realise you’re wearing a shirt with a coffee stain down it that looks like hasn’t been washed in weeks


James Potter to Sirius Black: IM SORRY BUT IM NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THAT WOMAN

Sirius Black: as opposed to all the other women ur able to charm over effortlessly

James Potter: im never speaking to you again

Sirius Black: dw ill deal with her


Sirius Black to Lily Evans: sounds like ur having a v important conversation there

Lily Evans: i am

Sirius Black: also

Sirius Black: just a thought

Sirius Black: do you want me to connect up your phone??

Lily Evans: bitch


Sirius Black to James Potter: she just kicked me out of her office

James Potter: serves u right

Sirius Black: u dont even know what i did

James Potter: dont have to


Sirius Black to James Potter: so basically i went in and she was “””””pretending”””””” to talk to remus

James Potter: really??

Sirius Black: really

James Potter: shes a little bit weird

Sirius Black: i just saw you spraying yourself with cold water bc u said u had “”””””a hot ear””””””

James Potter: ITS A PART OF THAT SPORTING INJURY I GOT LAST SUMMER WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME


James Potter: i cant believe she didnt even get excited when she saw the original zx 81 we have in the doorway

Sirius Black:

Sirius Black: yea, that WAS weird

Sirius Black: totally uncalled for

Sirius Black: its almost as if she doesnt know anything about computers

Sirius Black: james??

Sirius Black: james???

Sirius Black: uve dropped ur phone havent u


Lily Evans to Sirius Black: why is he screaming

Sirius Black: i told him u didnt know anything about computers and he spilt his tea all over himself

Lily Evans: jesus

Sirius Black: yea

Sirius Black: thats why he always makes two cups of tea

Lily Evans: just in case he accidentally drops the first one??

Sirius Black: yea

Lily Evans: wow


James Potter to Sirius Black: she has to go

Sirius Black: why

James Potter: heres the plan

Sirius Black: ooh ooh hang on let me sit down first

Sirius Black: ok go

James Potter: so well go in

Sirius Black: when

James Potter: in like a minute

Sirius Black: will that be enough time for me to get to know the plan??

James Potter: yknow i shouldnt have used the world plan

James Potter: ive clearly got u overexcited

Sirius Black: would “”””scheme””””” be a better word

Sirius Black: actually no thats just as exciting

James Potter: look all i was gonna say was is that we go in, i make up a load of bullocks about computers and well see if she picks up on it

Sirius Black: yea i can see why u didnt want to use the word plan

James Potter: just let me do the talking

Sirius Black: r u sure thats a good idea

James Potter: shut up


James Potter to Sirius Black: we need to get this right

James Potter: we cannot go there in half-cocked


Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: i can hear them outside the door

Lily Evans: theyr just,,,,gigglin


James Potter to Sirius Black: i think that went well

Sirius Black: she was pretending to send an email to lupin and you asked her if she wanted you to connect her up to the matrix

James Potter: genius

Sirius Black: and she looked at you and was like “””””u just made all that up””””

Sirius Black: then u lost ur shit and start screaming at her

Sirius Black: at which point she stood up and starting screaming at you

Sirius Black: and u stormed out

Sirius Black: what part of that screams “”””that went well””””??


Sirius Black to Lily Evans: hey do u want me to connect up your computer??

Lily Evans: fuck off


Lily Evans to EVANS KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS: i cant believe ur going to tell on me

Lily Evans: ur like a pair of horrible old men

Sirius Black: what did she say

James Potter: she said were like a pair of “”””horrible old men””””

Sirius Black: SHE DIDNT


Remus Lupin to horrible old men ft lily evans: so what did u want to tell me

James Potter: well, its like this

Remus Lupin: im so proud of u guys

Remus Lupin: my i.t team

Remus Lupin: team players

Remus Lupin: every single one of you

Remus Lupin: theres no room for people who can’t act as a team in my team

Remus Lupin: u know what happens to people who cant act as a team in my team??

James Potter: what

Remus Lupin: i get security to escort them from the building

Remus Lupin: and if the security team cant escort them from the building as a team, then i fire them too

Remus Lupin: then i call recruitment and get them to look for a security team that can work as a team

Remus Lupin: then i warn them that they may have to escort the current security team from the building

Sirius Black: does this happen often to you then

Remus Lupin: anyway

Remus Lupin: what did u want to tell me

James Potter: well its just not working out

Lily Evans: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lily Evans: hes joking

Remus Lupin: what do u mean,,,,”””not working out””””??

Lily Evans: ITS NOTHING

Lily Evans: WE ARE GETTING ON A LIKE A BIG HOUSE ON FIRE

Remus Lupin: then why did u text me

James Potter: um

Sirius Black: we installed a voice activation system on your computer

Sirius Black: it might take a while to get the pitch right but but nonetheless

Sirius Black: go ahead

Remus Lupin: wow

Remus Lupin: how exciting

Lily Evans: thats all then

Lily Evans: talk to you later


James Potter to nice save sirius: WHAT GOOD R U

James Potter: U OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS

Lily Evans: no,,,,but i can learn

Lily Evans: for example sirius,,,,,u can walk me thru what ur doing right now

Sirius Black: ;)))))))) id be delighted

Sirius Black: im just working on a very simple piece of programming software

Lily Evans: on seconds thoughts i am very busy and have better things to be doing with my time thanks bye


Mary MacDonald to Sirius Black: i hope ur ready for me bitch


Lily Evans to Sirius Black: hows your arm

Sirius Black: i never knew louboutins could hurt that much

Lily Evans: yeah

Lily Evans: imagine

Lily Evans: if i hadnt stepped in and asked her out to lunch u’d be nothing more than a pile of fabulous hair right now

Sirius Black: i owe you one evans

Lily Evans: damn right u do


Remus Lupin to FUCKHEADS GALORE: i just spent the last five hours screaming at my computer for nothing

Remus Lupin: do any of u have anything to say for yourselves

Lily Evans: have u tried turning it off and on again??

8

“ I have known what you truly are since the day we met. Long may you reign. “

8

she was warned. she was given an explanation. 

nevertheless, she persisted

Jews Being Allowed To Love Jews - by Natalie

So, I wanted to write a piece about a trope about Jewish characters I’ve seen a lot in the media (and specifically, in original fiction and fanfiction, as well from many asks on here.) that has been leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. The trope in question is: Jews marrying out. The thing is, that I need to put a pretty big disclaimer first.

1. I am an ashki Orthodox Jew-ess. White passing, from London. (My matrilineal side is displaced Lebanese, but being Orthodox, I believe I get my tribe from my patrilineal side, which makes me ashkenazi. I’m happy to talk to people about having displaced mena/Lebanese culture though. Just know that it’s part of my history, but not part of my identity). 

2. Interfaith marriages are totally legit, not at all something that should be looked down on, and in fact need representation! Like, interfaith families are super important. So many Jews - even Orthodox ones - I know are from interfaith backgrounds, and they need representation and need to be made to feel as if they are loved. Nothing here should be taken as an attack on actual interfaith marriages and couples.

-So, you might be asking, what’s the problem?

The problem is that any old representation is not always good representation. There are a number of problems with this trope, but the first & more glaringly obvious one being: it’s super common for gentiles to write about Jews marrying out.

(This may be applicable for other minorities too btw, but I see it for Jews all the time.)

You’ve all seen it. The two star crossed lovers: Julia McEnglish & Aaron Jewson. Aaron’s Jewish parents don’t like that he’s dating a goy, Julia can’t imagine giving up Christmas, but they just love each other anyway. Nearly always the minority character’s (although, sometimes it’s both characters as minorities) entire culture is eroticised and Orientalised. It’s their culture that throws up boundaries and difficulties to the relationship. And the tensions and upheaval of the stories are all found in the Jew’s culture being in the way. 

Now, does Judaism get in the way of interfaith marriages? Well, yes. Sometimes. Definitely in the Orthodox community. Do I think that this needs to be written about ad nausea? No, and definitely not by non-Jews. 

Other reasons why this trope should be put to rest is that it lies close to two other tropes: (1) the Jew marrying their oppressor & (2) Jewish men being repulsed by Jewish women trope.

(1) That first trope is a sliding scale, I’m sure many of these stories aren’t actually about Jews marrying their oppressor. Not every British person represents the dominant Christian society that oppressed Jews, denied them the ability to work, or obtain justice & periodically expelled them. The point is, that when you start putting your stories in vague sort-of history settings (fantasy or not) Jews reading it start feeling a bit uncomfortable. 

“Like sure… that Ottoman-esque empire definitely would be best friends with our Jewish coded minority character, everything looks totally legit here.”

“Hah - like, it’s 15th Century venice, but not. Super romantic, artistic, and beautiful. And the Jews are definitely not living in a ghetto.“ 

Jew’s have a long memory of their relationship with non-Jew’s throughout history, it is very easy to fall into this trope. (If I need to explain to you why this trope is bad, something has gone seriously wrong. Just don’t do it. It’s not even a new idea, it’s been done many times before.)

(2) This is an intra-Jewish issue, and something many Jewish women are speaking about in their own communities, but Jewish misogyny often manifests itself in Jewish men artists (writers, actors, producers, you name it) portraying Jewish women as the negative stereotypes hurled at us by antisemites. There’s a long narrative on this, one that I don’t think is appropriate for this audience. But the point is, even if you’re using what you think are Jewish sources to justify your men-marrying-the-pretty-non-jew story, it probably reeks of sexist antisemitism. 

So what should you be writing?

Well, the first thing is: let Jews fall in love with other Jews! What’s wrong with that? We’re great, we’re multifaceted, we deserve to get happy endings. Romance stories are wonderful, and although there definitely need to be more stories with female leads that don’t involve a romance plot (or even subplot) writing romance can be incredibly fulfilling to read. It’d be super awesome therefore  if you let us Jews actually feel valued and represented in it, and not make us feel like our culture is something to be fetishised for non-Jews. Or worse, that if you’re a Jew that is interesting/pretty/charismatic/worthy of someone falling in love with: then you’re not going to some lowly Jew to marry. “No-no, you’ve been elevated to non-Jew worthy!” (You get the idea?)

You can even have some exciting Jewish based tension: ashkenazi verses sefardi practices over pesach: “You made RICE for my OMA!?” “What? I checked every grain!” Or, “In my family we daven Nusach Ari.” “I didn’t know you were chabadniks, we use the artscroll siddur in shul, but we have koren at home.” “Oh phew, I worried you were going to say you read from the Birnbaum.” “Hey! We may be Baal Teshuvas, but we’re not stupid!”  See, the drama is endless. Jews literally love to crack open their practices and find out how what they do is significantly different. 

But what if you really want some interfaith representation?

Now, maybe you’re Jewish and from an interfaith background. Maybe you’re just itching to use some fun creative interfaith holidays for two communities to celebrate. Well, sure, I’m not banning you from writing it. (Although really, you should check yourself a little bit if you’re a non-Jew. Just why is this so important to you?) There are some one ways you can do it:

Make the interfaith relationship already established, this will work best if it’s instead the parents of the main character, but it can work either way. (Extra kudos is said child of interfaith couple gets to marry a Jew.)

Slice off all that creepy fetishisation, and show a loving & already thriving interfaith relationship, over coming hurdles and hardships from the outside world, succeeding because of the strength of their interfaith relationship.

Try to keep in-law drama to a minimum (especially if it’s only the Jew mother in law who is the problem. Don’t do that, it’s awful) and instead show that Judaism in a beautiful and intricate ethno-religious identity, that can survive and exist in an interfaith relationship.

Maybe write a story where there are other Jews also having adventures, and falling in love, but this time with another Jew! So the interfaith relationship doesn’t dominate the story, or make it seem like this is the only way Jews get to be romantic, or happy, in fiction.

One last thing: people, please write more Orthodox Jews. We love adventures too, and there’s so little Orthodox representation in media, that people don’t even know the difference between Orthodox, Haredi & Hassidic. All Jews are great though, y'all the best. 

-Natalie.

Shira’s note:

It’s not just our women who are supposed to be undesirable, it’s also our men. There are more books out there than I’d like that pair our women with, and I am regrettably not exaggerating, literal Nazi officers. So obviously: don’t do this, but I think at least part of the reason it happens is that gentiles think our men are all Woody Allen or something. They’re not. As I’m fond of pointing out every time this comes up, slash fanfiction became a mass movement in fandom as a result of two of our men, Shatner and Nimoy, being too conventionally attractive to ignore. Natalie seems to have run into more of the other way around than I have, whereas I’ve see more of Jewish women with gentile men, but either way, the point stands.

Again, none of this is meant to say interfaith relationships shouldn’t be represented–heck, I’m in one since mine never went through with conversion and is a "Jewish-adjacent atheist” now–but when they’re all over the place to the point where we start feeling like gentile authors think all our genders are racing as fast as they can to avoid partnering up with another Jew, something is off kilter.

Remember, there are many scenarios that there is nothing wrong with in a vacuum because they exist IRL but when they’re overrepresented in writing by outsiders, they start to twist.

–Shira

Parenting AU scenario with Taehyung

continuation of this and this

Originally posted by 3l0390

words: 12k (holy shit)

notice: It tried to make this more about Taehyung but not sure if it worked. Tbh when I started writing I just went with the flow of my mind so sorry if something might be different from expectation xd Idk if their baby’s name is even a name used in Korea but I just thought it matched lol

And also I did some research but there are few things in this scenario that I didn’t check at all so read having that in mind that not everything here might be legit.

Sorry for typos and errors, I was too exited to share this to read it through again.



Decision of having a second child was not easy, especially in your financial situation, Taehyung understood that well as someone who was providing for all three of you for a long time before you found your job. There were many aspects to be taken into consideration before you started planning on making your family bigger, like the fact that Beom Soo was going to start going to school soon which would cost additional money and that your apartment, even the new one you moved in to not so long ago, was too little to be comfortable for two growing childeren. On the other side, as unbelivable as it may be, Taehyung started to long for another little creature running around his house, seeing how Beom Soo grew up so well. Speaking to neighborhood moms he meets in the park saying how kids needs to have sibling and it’s a perfect time to try for another baby for Beom Soo’s sake only fueled his desire though his pay was barely enough to cover bills and cost of living even when he took more of the clients on himself than the rest of the guys in the branch.

But then Taehyung got promoted, his pay rose significantly and your family was finally more comfortable with the money than ever. It seemed like a green light for Taehyung to finally voice what was going around his head for a while.

Keep reading

Saying there’s no proof of HL together or even living together but ignoring: looks, touches, hugs, kisspers, whispers, body language, domesticity, protectiveness, supportiveness, dream team, interactions, finishing each other’s sentences, always knowing what the other is thinking of or is about to say, jealousy, body language when the other one’s PR relationships are brought up, fond, living situation, when we’re home, house in L.A., the fucking giddiness when they so much as look at each other, the bubble when they only focus on each other, Louis looking for Harry when he doesn’t know where he disappeared, Harry looking for Louis when he doesn’t know where he went, coordinating their fucking wee breaks on 2 hr long concerts, where’s Harry where’s Louis gone, even as young as you are, sharing clothes, jeans, t-shirts, etc, their reaction to rings-engagement-marriage topics, the being MIA at the same time and reappearing on the same day for years, the being sick at the same time while every other band member is healthy, the blue and green, the bandana, the sharing cars, sharing hotel rooms, having the same friends, the mirroring, the tattoos, those fucking tattoos, the song lyrics???, like helloooo, the lyric changes, the throat lozenge, the we’re both kinda generous with each other, the we kind of share that really, the good lad good lad nice lil body, the fucking aimh tweet, and the family’s reaction when it beat Obama’s, the paris imterview, the video diaries, the turning away to hide his smile Tomlinson because he was so gone, the Script concert, the jumping in your arms because our band got formed, their tweets to each other, the way Louis tweeted at the asscrack of dawn about something English then disappeared for mia days, the serenading, the kicking away water bottles so you don’t fall face down, the bringing a new water bottle because i see yours is empty, the hey cutie have a nacho, the serenading, the watching each other on the big screens, the goofing around in the monitors, the other boys’ outing them, their OWN moms outing them, their own family outing them, their own friends outing them, their own co-workers outing them, other celebrities outing them, how the whole fucking world knows about them, their same habits in everything, they are legit morphing into the same person, the nicknames they use, the orbiting on stage, the secret touches, the sign language, the meal, the left and right sides respectively tattooed then used in bed for example, the fucking little spoon information, the lipbiting when looking at the other one when he’s not watching, the bruises, the innuendos, the horse rider, the he has one, the salt and vinegar, the fucking bears, the denials being a joke, the receipts, home, if i could fly, strong, happily, don’t let me go, something great, the fucking narrative, the fucking no pic of them for years and only them, and this became a long list and it’s way more than you ever wished for.

But you put all this firm and long theory into all kinds of unrealistic challenges and it is ridiculous, really.

You are in situations in your life constantly when you have to make decisions, you look up at the sky 400000 times your life and you are making immediate assumptions when seeing dark clouds and making a logical deduction SHIT IT’S GONNA RAIN.

This list I put here is the longest fucking rainstorm with clouds so dark that the only thing darker is the brain of those people who are still in denial.

2

ok so we’re going to sit our booties down and learn a thing

These boots here are called Renegades. I love them. They come in lots of cool colors, like maroon and yellow and the whole rainbow k. These saved my life last summer when I couldn’t keep Bella from abscessing bc even once they would blow and heal, they weakened her feet. If I didn’t have these bad boys, I wouldn’t have been able to ride that whole summer.

They’re the most popular boot with Endurance riders and that’s bc they’re fuckin fly as hell. Do you know how easy it is to put these things on? 9/10 times when I use them, I only use front boots, and they take me like a minute per foot INCLUDING picking out the foot. Tell me that’s not crazy af. 

The bottoms are designed like a real foot and you can gets studs and shit if you do hardcore things. That heel captivator you see there moves free from the boot, so no rubbing or foot restriction. You can do legit everything in these babies and your horse’s perfect little tootsies will be nice and protected, while still maintaining the health that comes with a bare foot.

Worried about cables? Don’t k. I have…. 5 pairs of these plus I know lots of people that use them personally and never have I heard of a cable breaking. Even if it does, you don’t have to order a new boot so don’t stress! You can order every piece of these boots separately and save a buttload of skrilla.

Worried about them being loose and coming off? Don’t k. I’ve lost a boot once and it was my fault. I didn’t latch the velcro strap on the toe correctly so that sucker came loose and came off while we trekked through mud bogs that’ll make u cry. When they’re put on right, they stay put. No twisting. No nothin. You ride and you don’t worry.

And what’s super rad? They weigh less than any other boot I’ve seen. There are some shoes that weigh more than these.

AND there is a new design called the Viper that is currently being tested by Endurance riders before it goes on the market and I’m so hype for them. They’re supposed to be EVEN EASIER to put on and move even easier with the horse’s foot for the most natural movement possible. 

[ badboy!au]

pairing; got7 youngjae x reader

genre; bulletpointed, badboy!youngjae, tattoos, vulgarities yada yada HAHA

✎a/n; this request has been sitting in my inbox for quite a while now,, and i’m really sorry to the anon for the long wait !! i opened requests for seventeen right after this was requested so i was kinda focusing on developing svt scenarios first. now that it’s pretty stabilized, here’s a got7 youngjae au! it’s been a while since i’ve written on ma boiss i miss them so much huhu // this is gonna be damn long bc it’s bulletpoints but heh it’ll be fun. i lowkey have no idea how to end badboy aus but hopefully this is fine? enjoy :-)


  • soooo
  • we all know youngjae is the fluffiest otter on earth
  • //coughs coughs username reference
  • but we always forget about his tattoos bc he covers them up
  • like let’s be honest
  • his tattoo
  • hiS TATTOO IS THE HOTTEST THING EVER
  • so as a badboy in schoooll,,
  • the two of you would probably be those kind of really really distant schoolmates
  • you two don’t even know of each other’s existence tbh
  • until one day everyone’s like heyhey youngjae’s got a new tattoo oh ma gosh ma hart
  • and you’d be so confused and kind of unbothered by it like
  • “youngjae who?” while eating your food in the cafeteria
  • your friends legit would wanna punch you across of the face
  • “YOUNGJAE”
  • “CHOI YOUNGJAE”
  • and you’d blink like ???
  • your friend sighs. “the really hot guy”
  • but your memory failed you real bad bc according to your whole three years in the high school, you never came across anyone ‘hot’
  • well, at least none hot enough to get your attention
  • the furthest it got was “that guy’s cute”, but you forget him a minute later so
  • when your friend nudges you really excitedly,, you follow her line of gaze whichhh lands on this random school guy?
  • whom seemed familiar?
  • but not at the same time?
  • you fix your eyes on him as you cock you head to a side, trying to recall where you’d seen him
  • and then it just hits you like AHA
  • detention !!
  • you were never one to get detention, actually
  • you’re the most obedient kid ever in class and the teachers literally thank you for not pushing their lives deeper into the fiery pits of class hell
  • but one day you thought it’d be cool to try something yourself in chem class
  • and woOSH you nearly murdered everyone with your black magic
  • so according to ‘school protocol’, you had to leArN a leSsOn,
  • aka sitting in detention.
  • and youngjae was there, at a front corner of the detention room,, minding his own business, his facial expression cold asf
  • so you minded yours and sat directly opposite of where he was, aka the back corner of the class
  • you guys had no sort of interaction or whatever in the room for that 2.5 hours
  • until you saw him stick chewed gum under the table, and from the back you could see his cheekbones rise in a grin or something
  • you widened your eyes like oh my furk
  • grOSS
  • and you didnt know his name at that time so you spoke like “hey, you” 
  • he hesitates, then turns around
  • “me?”
  • you roll your eyes. “is there anyone else in this room?”
  • and he freaking scoffs at you like how tf dare you talk to me like that,, you obviously had no idea of his labelled position in the school
  • bc if u knew, u should’ve ran far far away to shrek’s home lol
  • when he doesnt respond to you, you just try to politely tell him to get the gum off the table
  • he stands up and you try to not flinch bc you notice how well-built he actually is
  • he isn’t those kind of people with freaking rocks of muscles but he was, for sure, stronger than the average man
  • he leans on the table, now facing you
  • “why should i?”
  • “bc that’s disgusting”
  • “then dont look at it”
  • “that’s just unhygienic”
  • “you aren’t using the table.”
  • “but there’s a dustbin right outside the room”
  • “you really wanna argue with me?”
  • u shut up then,, realising you’ve bitten off more than you can chew
  • but shutting up like this just seemed paTHETIC ASF
  • so while trying to keep your ego you kind of shouted at him to just get the gum off
  • bc you were pissed at how he kept smirking bC he knew you werent good enough to beat him in this argument
  • when you raise you voice at him, his gaze grew five million times sharper
  • and he steps closer to you while you backstep
  • you gulp and started holding your breath as he comes closer
  • anddd you spot his tattoo on his upper arm
  • “you’d better watch yourself,” he snarls @ u before leaving the room
  • your inhaled sharply and let out a breath of your life bc you nearly died there
  • andd that’s how you came to know this guy existed in your school
  • now you know his name — youngjae.
  • so when you see him again you were about to sprint to save yo ass
  • but luckilyyy, he doesn’t spot you and just sits at an empty table, leaned back onto his seat, his arm draped over the empty chair beside him
  • his gang sits with him
  • and youNGJAE LEGIT
  • IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
  • IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
  • just grabs a guy who was hurrying past and yanks him towards him and says something inaudible
  • the obviously intimidated and frightened guy nodded a few times before rushing off, buying some sort of drink from a stall and running back to give it to youngjae
  • youngjae grins, giving him a pat on his back before letting him go
  • your blood boiled 
  • who tf did he think he is to order others around like that
  • but based on past experience,, you decided it was best to not go and spout your string of profanities at him
  • so you just stand up, casually walk past him, giving the leg of his chair a good hard kick before walking off
  • from the corner of your eye, you saw him jerk from the sudden impact, and his gang shouts a few indecent words at you
  • but no one comes after you so u just head to class
  • you felt so satisfied tbh HAHAHA
  • so for the next few days this goes back and forth
  • the two of you somehow always have something to argue about
  • “yOUR HANDS ARE WET CAN YOU NOT DRIP THEM ALL OVER THE CLASS”
  • “IT’S FUCKING WATER, Y/N”
  • yeah he got to know your name ;; u had no idea how.
  • and in the middle of classes which u two share, he just grabs ur pen and freaking flings it to the bin
  • and you look at him like ???? BRO??? I NEED MY PEN????
  • but he just smirks like idc
  • your pencil case literally went empty bc of him
  • and you clench your fists like u literally felt smoke escaping from your ears
  • so aft class u pushed his table when he was still sitting down, and the table flies two meters or so, knocking some of the other tables
  • he looks up at you like 
  • you gon’ fucking die lol
  • you gave no shit and walked out,, you hated him so much you just
  • ASDFGHJKL
  • and the two of you have this kind of relationship for the rest of the month
  • but there was this one incident which wavered your impression of youngjae
  • he was on the phone, at one quiet corner of the locker hallway
  • his eyes were tearing up, his voice was shaking
  • you frowned, slowly walking past with your books in your hand
  • youngjae quickly hangs up the moment he noticed your prescence, and turned to walk away
  • you grabbed his arm though.
  • “you alright?” 
  • he glares at you through his red eyes, and walks away without saying anything
  • you bit in your lips, trying to pretend nothing happened
  • and everything legit changed one day
  • in the morning when the hallways were still empty
  • someone suddenly grabs you and a hand is placed over your mouth & nose as you were pulled/dragged to a much darker and unused corridor
  • you were kicking and everything, and when they let you go you stumbled forward, collapsing onto a wall as u gasped for air
  • you turn around and saw this group of five (?) guys whom you didn’t recognise
  • until a guy emerges from them and u recognise him
  • almighty jake.
  • well-known for harrassing girls
  • sexually or not.
  • sometimes he just finds joy in beating others. guys too.
  • and his gang joins him 
  • so you start shaking like a leaf the second you identified him
  • jake steps closer and you flattened your back onto the wall
  • u had nowhere to run bc his guys were beside you
  • jake extends his arm, reaching out to your cheek 
  • but you kicked him in the stomach with whatever u had
  • he stumbles backwards and you were about to run when his guys grab you, pinning u back onto the wall
  • ….fuck.
  • jake got mad asf and he grabs ur shoulders
  • u squeeze ur eyes shut ,, u didnt want to feel this
  • but the pressure on ur arms suddenly disappear
  • you open ur eyes and see youngjae 
  • like no
  • wait 
  • hold up
  • hooooooLD UP
  • youngjae ????
  • you squint bc it was dark ;;; you saw wrong right?
  • nope. youngjae’s tall demeanour — that was him.
  • he literally had just delivered a punch to jake’s face, and the rest naturally backed away, knowing who was of higher position between jake and youngjae
  • youngjae glares hard at jake first, before the rest of them. 
  • “not her.” 
  • you had no time or energy to comprehend what the hell he said,, bc your knees buckled and you slumped to the floor
  • this first ‘’‘encounter’’’ scared u good
  • jake was seemingly unhappy, but left. 
  • youngjae turns to you and goes over, standing there, looking at you trembling, bc he didn’t know what to do
  • but when you started crying he gave up on holding himself back
  • he kneels down in front of you, his arms slowly wrapping around your curled up self
  • u didn’t even see him as how u saw him usually at that point
  • he wasn’t your enemy then
  • he was just someone who was comforting you
  • and for once
  • you actually felt thankful for his existence
  • youngjae starts stroking ur hair really slowly, mumbling soft words which you couldn’t really hear,, except for one phrase.
  • “i’m sorry.” 
  • he waits for you to calm down before helping you up
  • he doesn’t say anything after that but he was worried for u
  • he didnt notice it himself, but he was getting interested in you
  • you were the only one who didn’t try to get all over him
  • and he felt that he actually didn’t have to worry if you saw his not-so-strong side bc he actually wasn’t really this strong
  • you mumble a ‘thanks’ to him, and for the first time, you saw him smile.
  • “be careful, will you?” 
  • you looked up, and in the dim light, you could trace his defined features with your eyes
  • like ok wtf were u doing
  • he helps you out of the corridor, and ya’ll ended up skipping school for the whole day
  • …it was fun
  • bc your feelings developed from there.

requests or asks // masterlist

I love how in Leverage, these two FBI (Taggert and McSweeten) guys are bumbling idiots that take the credit for some of the Leverage crews exploits and the crew lets them because it makes everything more legit. But consider this:

They also show up at the end of some of Sam and Dean’s cases.

How to pick a BTS Bias

It’s rather simple….you don’t

it’s just not possible….

I MEAN 

LOOK AT NAMJOON???

Originally posted by ksjknj

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM?

LOOK AT THOSE DIMPLES!!

Originally posted by aestheticpinkjoon

THEY SLAY MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!!

AND NOT ONLY IS HE ATTRACTIVE! 

BUT HE’S A GIANT DORK!

Originally posted by jiminiminii

THAT DESTROYS  EVERYTHING!

(…including the tiny bit of sanity I have left…)

AND ITS HONESTLY ADORABLE!

Originally posted by officialmonstaxmemes

AND NOT IS HE ONLY CUTE AND A GIANT DORK BUT HE’S HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, A GREAT LEADER FOR BTS,  AN AMAZING RAPPER, AND OVERALL FANTASTIC HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE!

JUST LOOK

Originally posted by bangthebae

AT THAT SQUISH

Originally posted by yoongichii

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM? 

After looking at Namjoon one would think end of story.

 BTS bias has been found!…the only problem with that is…

THIS HANDSOME PRINCE IS ALSO IN THE BAND

Originally posted by fawnave

LOOK AT SEOKJIN AND ALL HIS WORLD WIDE HANDSOMENESS

…i think i need a moment to recover from the gif….

Alright I’m good…I think….

BUT ANYWAY

Originally posted by bwiseoks

HE’S SO PRECIOUS!

Originally posted by bulletproof-heaven

AND A WALKING MEME 

Originally posted by the8-carat

HE IS JUST SO PERFECT! EVEN WHEN HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE!!

Originally posted by softlytaejin

HE DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE! HE CAN COOK, HE’S CARING, HE TAKES CARE OF THE REST OF BANGTAN LIKE A GOOD MOM SHOULD , AND HAS A SWOON WORTHY SINGING VOICE

Originally posted by bangtan

…*sigh* my heart just can’t handle…

But you see this is where the problems start to pop up. 

How can one possibly choose between Namjoon and Jin? 

Could this be anymore difficult??

Well guess what!

IT SURE CAN BECAUSE OF THIS ANGEL 

Originally posted by syubto

HE’S YOUR HOPE!

Originally posted by gotjhope

HE’S YOUR ANGEL 

Originally posted by nnochu

HE’S JHOPE

Originally posted by hohbi

AKA ANOTHER MEMBER OF BTS HERE TO WRECK ANY BIAS YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT YOU HAD

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

WELL THINK AGAIN BECAUSE THE SUNSHINE THAT IS HOBI WILL LEGIT DANCE HIS WAY INTO YOUR BIAS LIST AND COMPLETELY WRECK EVERYTHING!

Originally posted by morekpopmore

AS IN HE WILL LEGIT DANCE HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEART

Originally posted by jjang-pandaa

AND NOT ONLY CAN THIS BOY MOVE BUT HE RAPS LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS!

THIS BEAUTIFUL BALL OF SUNSHINE WILL DESTROY YOU WITH HIS HUGE SMILE AND ABSOLUTELY CAPTIVATING  PERSONALITY THAT WILL BRING LIGHT EVEN ON YOUR DARKEST OF DAYS. 

By this point you should realize that even attempting to pick a bias is futile…

ESPECIALLY WITH THIS CUTE LITTLE MOCHI RUNNING AROUND AND WRECKING EVERYTHING!

Originally posted by jiyoongis

THAT’S RIGHT PARK JIMIN WILL WRECK YOUR BIAS LIST FASTER THAN YOU CAN BLINK!

Originally posted by kpopidolaegyooo

ONE MINUTE YOU ARE A NAMJOON STAN AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW THIS CUTE LITTLE GUY HAS SUNG HIS WAY INTO YOUR VERY SOUL 

Originally posted by bangtan

HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO ADORABLE?

Originally posted by minspink

BUT SO HOT AT THE SAME TIME?????

Originally posted by jiminsjiminie

IT SHOULDN’T BE LEGAL TO BE SO FINE AND SUCH A MOCHI!

HIS EVERYTHING IS PERFECT 

Originally posted by allforbts

HE WRECKED YOUR BIAS WITH HIS SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND KILLER DANCE MOVES AND HE KNOWS IT!

A lot of army claim that all of BTS is their bias, and that they have an ultimate bias…but to be honest I don’t understand how they can even pick an ultimate bias?!

WHEN YOU HAVE A CUTIE LIKE JUNGKOOK RUNNING AROUND

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

THIS MAKNAE IS LEGIT GOLDEN 

Originally posted by nnochu

KOOKIE CAN DO ANYTHING PERFECTLY 

Originally posted by dream-bts

WHILE ALSO LOOKING HOTTER THAN THE HELL FIRE THAT I WILL PROBABLY END UP IN.

HE CAN SING

Originally posted by ultranicolet

DANCE

Originally posted by jungkookandyugyeomwhores

RAP

HE CAN DO IT ALL

HE’S ALSO A MEME KING

Originally posted by narika-a

WHICH IS WHY HE WILL JUNGSHOOK UP YOUR ENTIRE BIAS LIST 

Originally posted by baekon-stripss

When it comes to BTS bias wreckers

…don’t even get my started on Min Yoongi….

Originally posted by nnochu

THIS BOY WRECKS BIASES FOR FUN

THAT SMILE 

IT KILLS ME

Originally posted by elatedkindoflife

(*dies*)

I KNEW I SHOULDN’T OF STARTED TALKING ABOUT SUGA

Originally posted by feelalpha

NOT ONLY DOES YOONGI WRECK MY BIAS LIST 

Originally posted by charrytommoto

BUT HE WRECKS MY ENTIRE LIFE 

Originally posted by jeonsshi

…i just need a moment…

Originally posted by martina-07

okay…I’m good…I think…

BUT ANYWAY!

THIS BOY WILL SLIDE HIS CUTE ANGRY MARSHMALLOW SELF INTO YOUR BIAS LIST AND THEN COMPLETELY ERADICATE IT WITH GUMMY SMILES, PIANO PLAYING ABILITIES, AND RAP SKILLS LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE!

Originally posted by nomilkonlysuga

By now you probably think that we are done and picking a BTS bias is exactly as I said impossible….

BUT THINK AGAIN BECAUSE THERE’S STILL ONE MORE BTS BIAS WRECKING CUTIE!

HIS NAME IS TAEHYUNG 

Originally posted by hoe4bts

And if you spell taehyung backwards you get gnuyheat which means adorable in some language I just made up. 

HE GOES FROM ADORABLE PUPPY TO FINE AS HELL IN MATTER OF NANO SECONDS 

Originally posted by jjks

HIS DEEP VOICE WILL HAVE YOU SHOOK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

(AS WELL AS THIS GIF)

Originally posted by jimin-bts-trashs

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE GROWLS!

Originally posted by taevisual

HE’S FINE AND HE KNOWS IT!

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

HIS SMILE IS TO DIE FOR

Originally posted by sonyondan

HE IS HONESTLY THE CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET WHICH IS WHY HE WILL WIGGLE HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEART AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT EVERYTHING. 

So proof that picking a BTS bias is IMPOSSIBLE

THEY 

Originally posted by lostinbangtan

ARE ALL 

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

PERFECT

Originally posted by mewchim


…wow this is really long i’m sorry….

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swiftingmylifeaway: 🤗❤The last of my videos🤗❤This was my favorite part🤗. Look at our queen sweating but still looking flawless and guys!!! do ya feel the sass oozing from this video its everything 🤗❤🤗She legit brought the house down🤗🙌🏻I was so happy to see her so happy when she was performing and her voice live is everything and the most precious and beautiful sound in the world 🤗🤗. Im so grateful to have went and forever grateful for this experience 🙏🏻🙏🏻..We are so lucky we are gonna get to rewatch this treasure again very soon🤗❤Thank you so much @taylorswift for this ❤🤗❤legit #blessed beyond measure to have got to go🤗❤Love you @taylorswift 🤗❤. @scott.borchetta @taylornation #taylorswift #supersaturday #att #directv #directvnow