Worth the Wait
things get a little heated between you and your boyfriend for the first time aka nathan stops and gets embarrassed
request that took me 5ever (sorry anon)
word count: 1,890
Taking things slow was a typical thing for you. Often you wouldn’t jump into anything too quickly; you liked taking your time, getting comfortable and adjusting as needed. You never wanted things to be too fast. That was until you met Nathan.
The two of you had been dating for about two months, the first part of your relationship being the normal “we’re not together, just going on dates” phase. It wasn’t maybe until week three when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend. For someone who took things very slow, the wait for the relationship to be actually official felt agonizing. It was a new strange sensation for you, but even after the first date you were wondering when he’d ask.
Nathan was different than anything else you’d ever experienced in your life, you wanted to jump in right away, to keep developing your partnership. However, if you had to be honest you did have some doubts about Nathan. Not any in regards to how you felt about him, but it seemed as though maybe he didn’t feel the same way. Sure, the two of you spent an abnormally large amount of time together, which you didn’t mind, but things hadn’t really picked up between you two physically yet. You of course didn’t need physical affirmation from Nathan to know he cared about you, but it sure wouldn’t be terrible. The problem was you felt so invested and ready to quickly jump in that Nathan’s small step back made you harbor skepticism.
All of your friends constantly asked if you and him had “sealed the deal” yet and as annoying as it was, you kept wondering when it would be time. You had only had sex with one person before, and it took you forever to get comfortable enough to them to really be intimate on that level. With Nathan you knew right away that you deeply trusted him to let him see you so vulnerable. In any other case, when you were your normal take things slow kind of girl two months would be too soon to you. People had always teased you about it, but some of the worst decisions someone can make are when they’re rash, unsure and hasty.
Here you were however, thinking about the best way to get things between you and Nathan started physically. He had been over to your apartment plenty of times in the past two months, but tonight was the first time you finally got to go to his. You found this once again a bit annoying with how slow this was all going. You wanted Nathan and you wanted him tonight. Going through your closet for what had to be the hundredth time you still were unable to pick anything worthy enough to wear. You and Nathan would be watching a movie; you figured it would be a little suspicious if you showed up in some sort of skintight dress. Sighing, you decided to opt for the usual top and jeans. You guessed that you would just have to do more with less.
Taking a final glance of yourself in the mirror of your bedroom, you deem yourself appropriate for the occasion and go to the kitchen to grab the keys of the counter.
“Tonight’s the night.” You say to your roommate sitting at kitchen bar.
She looks at you for a moment, “Really? For you and Nathan?” You nod your head and she laughs a bit, “Sure, okay.” You take a step back, offended at her words.
She sighs, “Nothing. I just feel like if it was going to happen, it would have happened already.” You roll your eyes at her. What could she possibly know about your relationship with Nathan that gives her the right to say that?
“Well you’re wrong, because it is going to happen. Tonight!” You take one last look at her, annoyed and head for the door, keys in hand.
If there was one thing that bothered you more than anything, it was how people were constantly trying to control your life and the order things happened in it. All of your friends had a say about your new relationship with Nathan, but tonight it was time for you to fully be in control.
“Do you want any more popcorn babe?” Nathan asks shaking the bowl in his hand. “I’m fine,” you reply, eyes straightforward.
You had been at Nathan’s place for over an hour and there was absolutely no progress towards your main goal of the night. Every time you’d remotely try anything Nathan’s face would grow panicked and make some sort of excuse that he had to check on something in the kitchen, his room, or wherever. Your doubts were only beginning to grow. How could he not want you as much as you wanted him?
“Is everything okay? You’ve been kind of quiet tonight. Do I still smell too much like chlorine? I know it bothers you sometimes.” Any other day you would have laughed at the comment. When you went on your first date with Nathan all you had said was ‘is that chlorine?’ Any other day you would think how cute he was for worrying about something he couldn’t stop. No matter how many showers he took, he would always smell like chlorine.
“No it’s not that.” You look down at your lap and begin fiddling with your hands, a habit you had picked up for when your nerves kicked in. “Then what is it?” Nathan counters.
You didn’t want to be that girl, but it was bothering you so much you knew there was no way you couldn’t be. “Are your all for this relationship?” It was clear he was stunned by your words considering the initial look on his face. His eyes widened, “Of course I am!” You watched his face change from shock to hurt in seconds, suddenly wanting to take back even remotely saying anything.
Nevertheless you continue, “It just doesn’t seem like it. Everything is moving slowly and it just feels like your holding back.”
“I’m not holding back!” Nathan says raising his voice a bit causing you to immediately roll your eyes. “Oh reall-”
Before you can finish, Nathan interrupts your words by placing his lips on yours. Although there’s a bit of a surprise on your part on how forward he was being you soon copy his actions of movement. Both of your mouths move together as you desperately try to convey your thankfulness for this moment, for being there with him. His lips are addictive and you both find yourself connecting and reconnecting ever so often for a bit of air.
Your hands move to his hair, tugging at it a bit. He lets out a groan against your lips and you feel yourself heat up at the noise. The atmosphere felt electric, this was what you had been wanting. To feel the closest to Nathan that two people can be. Moving your hands to his shoulder you pull him down on the couch so you can lay on your back with Nathan hovering above of you. He follows your move, never disconnecting your lips, but leaves a huge gap between your bodies. The space separating the two of you was a little awkward, but as you felt Nathan begin to kiss your neck and leave dark marks behind, you decided to let it go.
The way he was sucking and nipping at every inch of your neck had you letting out a quiet moan, not being able to hold back. You placed your hands on his forearms and began to rub them, soon becoming confident enough to move your hands to the top of Nathan’s jeans, wanting to feel him.
Just as your hand found the button and zipper, you felt Nathan disconnect from your lips, quickly jumping up from the couch and walking around the room with a pained look on his face.
You felt like you were about to break into tears. Was it that bad? Did he really not want you? Flashbacks begin to play in your mind of your last boyfriend cheating on you for not giving him what he wanted. For not being good enough.
The thought of Nathan not wanting you was enough to break your heart completely. When you were with him, you couldn’t imagine your life without him by your side. It was impossible.
Figures, you thought, this is what I get for jumping in too fast. Stupid, stupid little girl.
You feel as though you have to say something. You needed to know what was going on in his head.
“Did I do something wrong?” You ask quietly, afraid of the response.
He stops his self-thought and turns to you with a panicked look on his face, “No it wasn’t you, it was me. I don’t know why I did that.” It was clear he was trying to make you feel better, but the comment only made you feel worse.
“Am I really that horrible?” You ask, still on the brim of tears spilling everywhere.
“No, you’re not! I actually have really strong feelings for you, in fact I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about anyone ever.”
“Then what is it?”
He looks away for a moment as if he’s embarrassed, “I don’t want to hurt you?” You blink at him twice as if to communicate that you’re not following. “What do you mean?”
He turns at least four different shade of red and bites his lip, “I’m just huge and you’re so small, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you or something.”
You can’t help but feel all your worry wash away. Your doubts of him not being as engaged as you were suddenly become a thing of the past. “Nathan… You’re not going to do anything to me. I’m not a china doll.”
He sits on the couch beside you, “You are to me and I’d never forgive myself if something happened because of me. I’m nearly 230 pounds, if I would have laid down directly on top of you I probably would have broken your pelvis.” You bite your tongue having to stop yourself from making an inappropriate comment and place your hand on the back of his head, “Please just trust me that everything will be okay.”
He sighs and looks down at his hands before looking up to give you a heartfelt smile, “I really care about you.” You feel yourself break out a smile and connect to your lips to his quickly. “I really care about you too Adrian.”
“I’m sorry for taking this whole thing too slow, I just need a little time before I’m ready to trust myself with you, because you really have no idea how much I want to-“ he cuts himself off and blushes, “sorry.”
Smiling at him, you grab onto his hand and stroke his thumb with yours.
You had been complaining about how often in your life people would try to control you with the pace you took things, and here you were doing the exact same thing to Nathan. All you had wanted was someone to be patient with you and the way you did things. Nathan deserved that and more.
“No need to say sorry. You’re worth the wait.”