I know it was the right thing to cut you out of my life, but if it was the right thing, why does it hurt so much?
Why does every moment feel longer and more painful without you in it? Why do I feel so alone at night? Why do I miss you?
You hurt me when you were with me, but that doesn’t even compare to how hurt I am without you.
Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, MATURE CONTENT (not smut but nearly)
Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?
Frustrated you rub your hands in a sterile attempt to get some calm even though you know it’s useless. You are trying to leave the palace and, for God’s sake, that this site is incredibly coordinated, there is not a second that your windowsill is left alone so that you can slide through your window and go visit Nat. When a guard leaves his place another one replaces him immediately.
Taking a deep breath you remember all the advice and rules of conduct that Steve has given you this morning about your wedding, there are a lot and you have the awful feeling that you are going to forget at least the half. You just hope not to make too much ridicule. Shaking your head you watch the crown of the bored guard under your chambers, he’s not going anywhere, the same goes for the two that are planted in front of your door.
Moving away from the window you decide that the visit to your best friend will be delayed until next time you go to the market or until you don’t have so much vigilance. Also, in a crowded place will be easier to avoid the guards, later you can always tell them that you got lost.
Huffing you let the matress hug your back as you lay on the big bed. It’s useless to close your eyes, you have tryed to sleep some hours ago but the nerves doesn’t leave you rest.
Suddenly a torn scream makes you open your eyes wide. With the heart in a fist you seek the source of that cry, it has been inside the palace you are sure. When you hear the painful groans again you jump out of bed and run to the door without a second thought. Opening the doors abruptly you find the two guards looking very uncomfortable, both turn their heads towards you when you go out into the hall with them, but they say nothing
The fact that you fucking ruined me and you can just go on with your day everyday not even acknowledging how much hurt and suffering you put me through shocks me because I expected so much more from you I didn’t expect you to turn out to be such a insensitive piece of shit, I guess I didn’t really know you as well as I thought I did.
(this alludes to what we know of even’s past, but is not mentioned specifically.)
it’s black and purple and blue and green. it’s swollen and gritty and tender. it’s out of place and blood shot and it’s ugly. isak mostly just feels ugly.
“here,” even says, pushing ice at him, and water, and food. “here,” over and over again as if it might make isak’s nose heal faster.
isak just lets him.
it’s not so much the things he is saying. the tender coo of his voice, and the worry. it’s not even the grating insistence, the way he cuts up isak’s meals or puts straws in his drinks or checks on him every few minutes if he needs to go to the bathroom.
Note: Okay so i’m not gonna lie I did ball my eyes out while writing this. - you were warned.
Even’s fingers danced across Isak’s skin, his fingertips light as a feather gently tracing the outline of the purple bruised pattern in front of him. He felt his body breaking under the touch of his world’s bruises. Of the pain he has created in front of him.
Because that’s what he was.
Isak was his world.
And Even had ruined that, he had been careless, stupid in thinking that he could protect him from the darkness within him. The piece of him that always broke every single bright and good thing the universe blessed him with.
Sometimes he thought the universe only gave him these things just to watch him go through the pain of destroying them himself. Of making them disintegrate under his touch. To burn near his presence.
Even hurt everything
And then everything hated him.
He shook, his breath shaky and uneven as he took a step back…it took him a moment to realise he was crying, breaking. He felt his knees buckle, and he waited, waited for himself to crash into a thousand pieces on the ground, to fall apart and never return. To disappear.
But it never happened.
Instead he felt the world catch him.
Felt the worlds arms wrap around him and hold him close. Their breathe right at his ear as the world whispered over and over again “it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault…It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”
The words caressed the scars wrapped around Evens heart and made the tears that fell soften into tiny droplets of hope. He gazed up into his worlds eyes with an expression of pure despair, guilt and love.
“I am sorry, I am- jesus Isak I knew it, I knew I would hurt you I-“
the soft hands of his world, upon his face, Isak’s cheek brushing against his, took all the words right out of him. They evaporated instantly, causing him to forget everything he was thinking as the world whispered right on his lips,
“Don’t you dare be sorry”
Isak rested his forehead against Evens as he gazed intently into his loves eyes
“you never hurt me Even, you save me. Every time. Every damn time”
Even felt himself inhale the words straight off of Isak’s lips, he felt them enter his body and materialise into a bright light that outshone the darkness and made him feel warm from the centre of his heart to the tips of his eyelashes.
His arms consumed Isak and held onto his world for dear life. It became an instinct, pulling Isak close, close close, until he could feel, see, breathe nothing but the boy that took it away. The light that captivated everything awful and lonely and cruel in the world, and made Even see nothing but the bright green in his worlds eyes, the crooked tooth in his worlds smile and the warmth in his worlds kiss.
Isak held him tight that night, and Even held him tighter. Their arms wrapped around each other, their legs intertwined. They lied on their sides, with their faces tucked against each others necks, chest against chest, heart upon heart.
They slept holding everything they loved in their arms, whispering against each others skin every little thing they loved about the other.
The way Isak tells Even about every weird dream he has the moment he wakes up
The sound Even makes when Isak kisses the dimple in his cheek
How Isak dances to every song Even plays even if it’s one he hates-for Even he will try
How Even traces the beginning of a piece of art upon Isak’s skin when he can’t sleep, how he says that he doesn’t need a canvas when Isak is already a piece of art.
How Isak made him believe that he’s not alone
How Even gave Isak a chance to show him.
Even kissed every single edge and curve of Isak’s face until he was convinced that all he could see was love, not a single trace of the hate left. He let Isak’s body heat warm him and he melted under his worlds touch. He smiled when he felt Isak’s fingertips brush his hair and he whispered again in the night that he was sorry.
Isak whispered back “say that one more time and I’m making you drink the mystery milk that has been there since we moved in”
Even laughed and tackled Isak, until he was a writhing giggling mess beneath him. “You wouldn’t dare” he said before kissing his world into oblivion.
Archie Andrews x reader fluffy first time smut based on 9. “I am not losing you again.” and 24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.” 💗💗
24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this”
Warnings: NSFW, first time fluff smut.
Word count: 3,102 words sorry I got carried away
Authors note: Tysm for the request, I couldn’t really think of a way to write a plot for this so it pretty much jumps right in, I also couldn’t fit the first quote into the scenes, sorry! I hope you enjoy this sorry if it isn’t the best with the smut it isn’t something that I have every wrote before and I don’t have much experience so if there is anything happening that is incorrect please tell me so I can avoid it in further imagines! If you enjoy this and would like to be tagged in future posts then please just ask below or message me! :) Also please send more requests! Ef x
You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed it, you knew that he needed it so you decided to take matters into his own hands as he didn’t want to scare you into thinking that it was all he cared about in your relationship.
Archie had been patient. He hadn’t pressured you or tried to guilt you into having sex with him. If you were completely naive, you’d assume he had no problem with not having sex (though his showers had gotten longer lately and you weren’t stupid). Overall, he was very understanding that you were still a virgin and you weren’t ready.
But now you were ready.
“Are you sure?” Archie asked you for the billionth time as he hovered over you.
You rolled your eyes. It was cute the first few times, knowing that he wanted to make sure that you were ready and weren’t feeling pressured. But now you were just getting kind of sick of it. “Archie?” you whispered. He raised his eyebrows and you took that as your chance to flip the two of you over, you straddling his hips. “You’re the only person I trust enough to do this, I’m ready.”
He chuckled as you leaned down and pressed your lips to his, sliding your hands down his bare torso. You pulled away from his mouth and focused on unbuttoning his jeans. But you were nervous and your fingers were shaky and you were struggling. “Baby,” he cooed, his hands finding your cheeks and making you look at him. “It’s just me, okay? I’m the same idiot you’ve been dating for eight months now, there’s no need to be nervous.”
You took a deep breath, nodding. He gave you a gentle smile before dropping his hands and letting you get back to work. Finally, you were able to unbutton his jeans and pull them down when he lifted his hips. You threw them to the side and then pulled your own shirt over your head, fighting the urge to cover yourself. It wasn’t like he’d never seen you in your bra before but this was different.
Before you could do anything else, Archie had flipped the two of you again. He settled between your legs, one arm holding him up and the other hand resting beneath your jawline. “You’re beautiful,” he told you, staring into your eyes. You blushed, biting your lip as his hand traveled down. Slowly; along your neck, between the valley of your breasts, down your stomach.
It gave you goosebumps but you couldn’t ignore the shakiness of his hands. You forced out a laugh. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you were nervous too,” you said.
He rested his hand on your hip, his thumb running along the bone. “I’m not,” he defended but he couldn’t meet your eyes. “It’s just- it’s your first time. And you’ve decided you want it to be with me and I-” He sighed, his forehead falling to your shoulder as he exhaled deeply. “What if I hurt you? What if I make this horrible for you and I just ruin everything?”
You ran your finger through his hair, tugging lightly so he’d lift his head. “You’re not going to ruin anything, okay?” you assured. “I trust you and I know you’re not going to hurt me.”
He stared at you for a few seconds before chuckling nervously. “This is backwards, isn’t it? You shouldn’t be consoling me,” he commented.
“Archie? Just shut up and kiss me.”
He obliged, pressing his lips to yours with force. His fingers worked your shorts, unbuttoning them and then struggling with the zipper. You heard a popping noise, causing him to pull away. “Oops,” he said bashfully, his cheeks turning pink as he held your broken zipper between his fingers.
You giggled, telling him it’s okay and urging him to pull your shorts off, along with your underwear. “Tell me if something hurts or even if you just don’t like it, okay? I want this to be good for you,” he told you seriously, gazing into your eyes as his fingers lightly brushed your folds.
You nodded and he lowered his head to your neck, pressing kisses along your skin as his middle finger met your clit, slowly beginning to draw circles. “Oh,” you sighed, your lower region tingling.
He raised his head, looking at you with boyish pride as he bit his lip. “Is that okay?” he asked, adding a bit more pressure.
“It’s way more than okay,” you admitted.
He grinned. “Good,” he said. He continued for a few more seconds before lowering his fingers to your entrance, dipping his finger in and you swore you heard a noise from the bad of his throat. “I’m gonna add a finger now, okay?”
You nodded, bracing yourself for the pain but once he did it, you didn’t feel any pain. It was a foreign feeling - and didn’t feel nearly as good as what he was doing before - but it didn’t hurt. “That doesn’t real- oh!” you cut yourself off with a moan, feeling his finger hit a spot that caused a bolt of pleasure to shoot through you.
The amount of pride on Archie’s face was unbelievable. “Right there?” he asked, hitting that spot again and causing you to clench your legs on his waist. “Relax, Y/N,” he instructed but there was a bit of amusement in his voice. “I’m gonna add another finger. Let me know if it hurts.”
He pulled out and you missed the feeling, before he pushed back into you with both fingers, immediately hitting that spot again and making you grip the bed sheets as you moaned. “Holy shit,” you mumbled, your eyes falling shut.
“I want you to come before we actually do this, hopefully it’ll make it easier for you,” he said, his fingers slowing down. “And to make that happen, I’m gonna try something, alright?”
You nodded, curious. But when he began lowering himself down your body, you panicked. “Um, wait!” you said, grabbing his hair to stop him. You must’ve pulled a little too hard because you heard him yelp. You let go, your cheeks heating up. “Sorry,” you apologized.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I- um, I’ve never had, uh, that done to me and just- you don’t really have to do that, you know?”
Archie bit the inside of his cheek, trying to fight the smile. You were just so damn innocent. “I don’t have to, I want to. Like I said, I want to make you feel as good as possible,” he explained. “But if you don’t want me to, I won’t.”
“I’m just really nervous,” you said, letting out a big breath.
“I know,” he said, squeezing your hip reassuringly. “I’m a lot more nervous than I thought I’d be, too. But I’d really like to take care of you.”
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. “Okay,” you said.
He grinned, pressing a kiss next to your belly button before he continued to his destination. He slowly pushed two fingers back into you, staring up at you to gauge your reaction. He curled his fingers and heard a little gasp come from your lips, making him grin. Not taking his eyes off of you, he lowered his mouth to your clit, gently sucking.
“Archie!” you gasped, your hands finding his hair as you clenched your thighs. Pleased by your reaction, he sucked a little rougher, his tongue playing with your clit. His free hand gripped your thigh, holding it to the bed as he quickened his fingers. “Archie, I think I’m-” you cut yourself off with a moan.
He knew you were close. “Shh, I know,” he cooed. Curling his fingers one last time, he felt you tighten around his fingers before you cried out, your body convulsing around his fingers. He kept with the pace but watched you in amazement. Seeing you come was the most beautiful thing he’d even seen, hands down. “That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” he asked once you’d come down, wiping his fingers on his boxers instead of with his mouth like he wanted to. He didn’t want to freak you out.
“That was great, thank you,” you told him, your eyes falling shut.
He giggled, kissing your forehead as he watched you relax in pure bliss. “We can stop here, you know,” he reminded you.
“I don’t think that’s what you really want,” you pointed out, glancing at his boner, dying to get out of his boxers.
His cheeks turned pink. “I want whatever you want,” he answered.
“Smooth, Arch,” you commented. You fingered the hem of his boxers, slipping your hand inside and grabbing his cock, pumping slowly the way you read about. “I want this.”
He exhaled through his nose, burying his face in your neck. He loved how soft your hand was and how firm you held him - it felt amazing but he could sense that you were still nervous, unsure about what you were doing. “That feels really good,” he whispered, leaving a slow kiss on your neck.
“You’re not just lying to me so I’ll feel better, are you?” you asked nervously, a small bit of happiness forming in your stomach.
He let out a breathy laugh. “Baby, you’re gripping the proof,” he said. “Really good is actually an understatement.”
“Oh,” you replied, swearing that your face was going to turn permanently red.
He let it continue for a little bit longer before he let out a whimper, his hand finding yours over his boxers and stopping you. “You have to stop that,” he instructed.
“Why?” you asked, eyes wide in fear that you did something wrong. He raised an eyebrow and it took you a few moments to realize the reason. “Oh.”
“Yeah,”He replied with a small chuckle. Now that he was ready to burst any second, they only had two ways to go with this. No more stalling. Archie felt his heart bang in his chest, butterflies filling his stomach. “It’s your call now.”
You stared into his Hazel eyes, darker than usual. His ginger hair was matted against his forehead, his lips pink and plump against his flushed, olive skin. He had nothing but love and adoration playing in his features and you knew. You knew you loved this boy and made no mistake deciding that you want him to be your first. “I want these off,” you said, pulling your hand out of his boxers and tugging at the fabric. You kept your voice strong because, even though you were nervous, you knew he’d treat you right.
He swallowed, nodding and let you push them down his legs as far as you could, until he just kicked them off. He reached underneath his bed, grabbing the box he kept there and pulling out a condom. He opened it with his teeth, putting it on slowly. He licked his lips, using one hand to make sure you were still wet enough. Dipping his fingers into you, he found that you were. “God, you’re still so fucking wet,” he mumbled without thought. He heard you let out a little giggle and his eyes widened, realizing he’d said it out loud. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” he apologized. He’d been doing his best to refrain himself so he didn’t freak you out and he’d been doing a great job until them.
“It’s okay,” you assured, finding yourself even more turned on by his vocalization.
“Are you ready?” he asked. He knew you physically were but that meant nothing if you weren’t mentally there. You nodded but that wasn’t enough. “I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you say that you’re ready and you want this.”
“I want this more than anything, Archie” you told him, not even blinking an eye as you met his gaze.
He searched for any sign of doubt or anything that could be a danger sign. Half of him was hoping you’d back out; it was less pressure. He could continue taking half hour showers so he could jack off to thought of you and he’d have to worry about nothing. All he could think about was doing this and losing control and hurting you or doing something that made you regret it and break up with him and he couldn’t stand the thought of that.
But he found nothing but honesty. Honesty and love and that made even more butterflies fill his stomach. “Okay,” he whispered. “Okay. I’m gonna go slow but don’t let me hurt you. If you don’t-”
“I know, Arch. If I don’t like it, tell you and you’ll stop,” you recited. “You’re almost as nervous as I am.”
He scoffed, resisting the urge to tell you that he was pretty sure he was more nervous. He laced his fingers with yours holding your intertwined hands on the bed by your head while he free hand guided himself to you. He breathed in before pushing in slowly, feeling himself get even harder at the sight of him disappearing inside of you.
He moved his eyes to meet yours, waiting for any sign of pain but he only saw a thoughtful look as he was halfway inside of you. “Does it hurt?” he asked.
You pursed your lips and he fought the urge to kiss them. “No, it just feels… weird. Like I’ve never had a penis inside me before,” you blurted out without thinking.
Archie couldn’t hold in his laughter. He laughed loudly and comfortably, resting his forehead on yours once he calmed down. He brushed his thumb along your darkened cheeks. “You’re so fucking cute,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to yours. “I’m gonna go the rest of the way now, okay?”
Your eyes widened. “You’re not all the way in yet?” you asked, swearing that you felt full enough as it was.
The boy beamed, his ego growing by the second. “Remember, let me know if it hurts,” he reminded before slowly pushing in the rest of the way. You gasped, your hand squeezing his. He paused. “Does it hurt?”
“Not really,” you admitted. “A little but it just… like I said, it’s a new feeling.”
Now that he was all the way in, he decided to give her a few moments to adjust. “I’m really glad you let me be your first,” Archie admitted, trying to distract you from whatever non positive feeling you felt. “It scared me at first but I’m glad I’m the one that gets to take care of you for this.”
You smiled, closing the few inches between the two of you and kissing him, slowly moving your lips together. It was slow and deep and passionate and full of love. You pulled away first. “You can move now,” you whispered.
He nodded, slowly pulling out a suppressing a groan. He’d missed how good it felt when he pushed inside, too distracted by your well being to feel it, but he definitely felt it - felt you - when he pulled out. You were so tight and warm and he knew he needed to be careful before he lost himself.
He went slow, rocking in and out of you. It began to feel better but you weren’t expecting to come, knowing it wasn’t likely that you’d come your first time.
He sped up a bit and was biting his lip, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He angled his hips a little differently, hitting a spot that made you gasp loudly and he froze. “What happened? What’d I do?” he asked, breathing heavily.
“Nothing, that just felt really good,” you told him, surprised.
A slow grin formed on his lips. “Where was it?” he asked, beginning to move his hips again.
It took a few seconds but he finally hit the spot again. “Right there?”
“Yeah,” you gasped out.
He nodded, a whole new level of determination in him. He held off his orgasm, focusing on trying to get you to come. He knew the chances were slim but he was gonna try until he couldn’t hold off anymore.
Your legs wrapped around his waist
And your hand had left his, instead gripping the sheets. You felt the knot forming in your stomach again, your breath shallowing. Achie felt you quivering around him. “Are you close?” he asked gruffly.
You nodded. “Yeah, I think so,” you said.
“Me too,” he responded, burying his face in your neck and leaving sloppy kisses. “Just let go.”
You nodded and it took a few more thrusts before your hands flew to his hair, your nail scraping his scalp as you cried out, seeing stars. It wasn’t as powerful as your first one but it felt just as good.
As you came down, you felt Archie’s thrusts get sloppier. You tried moving your hips to meet his thrusts but you weren’t even sure what you were doing, so you gave up. You grabbed his face, trying to kiss him but he stilled inside of you, his forehead falling to yours. His eyelids lowered and his jaw slacked, a deep groan leaving his throat as he filled the condom.
He almost fell on top of you, but thought otherwise the last second and fell beside you. He took off the condom, tossing it away before getting up and heading to the bathroom. He came back with a washcloth and laid down beside you again, cleaning you up the best he could. He fought his smile when you twitched a little, still sensitive from your orgasm.
“So you don’t regret it?” He questioned, bringing the blanket over the two of you. He pulled you to him, you resting your head on his chest.
“Not at all,” you answered honestly. “Though, I might later when I wake up sore,” you joked.
He chuckled. “What do you wanna do now?” he murmured, running his fingers through your hair.
“A nap sounds amazing,” you admitted with a tired giggle.
“I love you Archie” You made sure the boy was aware of just how strong your feelings were for him.
“I love you too, Y/N” he replied. It wasn’t long before he heard your soft snores and he was able to be as giddy as he wants, glad that you finally trusted him enough to be with him.
Hopefully this was good enough for you guys, please please please leave more requests because I really enjoy writing, I will do all characters from Riverdale and all characters from Teen Wolf c:
“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” - Tyron Edwards
Most of you have caught wind of accusations swarming this blog to be one in the same of gohliad’s. If you assumed that, you would be 100% right.
I’m doing what should have been done instead of this chance for a fresh start fostered by alternate persona and ridiculous lies. I know it was wrong to put on a new face, and pretend to be someone else and run away like I have always done before, because that was always the easiest thing to do for me. I made this account out of fear, because I thought maybe no matter what I did that the community wouldn’t accept me no matter how much I’ve changed or am trying to… but that is just me again, being fearful, and not owning up to the things that have happened over the past couple years. That’s me being scared, and ashamed and embarrassed. Whether or not people accept me, or want to associate with me going forward is their right, and because of what has happened, I accept and understand that.
I’ve affected this community as a whole, and hurt people. I rejected the idea that what I do can influence other people, I neglected to take care of my mental health, I declined opportunities to correct my own behavior and make right with people and I even refused to take apologies from other people. Often I couldn’t even comprehend how others were affected by my aggressive ass and hostile behavior, because in my world “stuff on the internet didn’t matter” but that just isn’t true. We are all humans behind our avatars and screenshots. I was just so big headed I refused to accept that I wasn’t the only actual person behind a screen with a life and feelings. Over the past few months I’ve been lurking around, seeing what others said and all I’ve thought about is this community and how I put a giant nuclear dent in it, and it’s people. How some people are just upright scared of me, like I’m a ticking time bomb, and I don’t want anyone to feel that way. No one deserves to feel unsafe in the simblr community, and it sucks it took me feeling that way on my own to realize that. It took me several months of no social media, and a lot of behavioral therapy to understand that my actions matter, everything I do matters. I can’t act the way I have in the past, not on simblr, not in real life, not to anyone.
Nothing I say can change anything that has already been done because no matter what I say now, people have been hurt, and that never goes away. People I was close friends to, who are now enemies. People I don’t even know, too. I’ve deserved pretty much everything that has came to me so far, the burnbooks, the simsecrets, the bigger simblrs hating me, as well as the little ones, anonymous hate mail. Even when I didn’t deserve it, I never responded correctly, I never responded like someone who cared about anyone except my self. I’m sorry for literally everything, to anyone I’ve offended or hurt. I wish I could apologize to everyone individually, but I don’t want to trigger anyone because I know some people will be willing to turn a new leaf with me, and others will completely reject the notion. Either or, you have that right to feel that way, and I take full responsibility for any animosity you have towards me. If there is something I can do for you, if I’ve hurt you, or even if i haven’t, please let me know. And I will do my damn best to do it. You can take my word for it, or not but I am so healthy right now, and from here on out, I’m only going to do good for everyone around me. I want to bring you decent custom content, help you out with stuff (personal or creation) and be there for everyone the way everyone has been there for me.
I don’t want to let my friends down, I don’t want to let me down, and I don’t want to let simblr down, not ever again.
Prompt: Heyyy. Could u do a rly angsty Jughead x Reader where the reader catches Archie (her bf) making out with Betty or something and she goes to Jughead, her best friend, and asks him to help her make a revenge plan? They start acting all lovey-dovey to make Archie jealous of what he lost and they make sure he finds them in ‘compromising situations’? I think it’d be really cute and funny. Thx!!!!
A/N: I’m going to do that so the reader finds out about Archie and Miss Grundy instead of Jughead as she’s walking past the classroom. Hope you like it! (Sorry I’m not the best with angsty stuff ugh) Requests are welcome!
Warnings: Archie x Reader (in the beginning), Cheating, Underage relationship (stupid Miss Grundy), Small amount of swearing,
“I can give you a hundred reasons not to,” he chuckled to himself. “But you’ve already made up your mind. So what are the chances you’re going to stick around?” He scoffed. He had already admitted defeat and he wasn’t going to waste his breath. You knew that much. What was worse was the fact that you thought he would. You thought he’d try, because there was a part of him that still loved you deeply, even if he had never expressed it with words. You couldn’t have been more wrong. Your hope had turned to disappointment. Your heart shattering in the process.
You nodded your head, your tongue pressing to the roof of your mouth to help you refrain from crying even more, embarrassing yourself further. “I’ll be out within the hour,” you breathed out. You turned on your heel, your head sagging in defeat. Your heart heavy, along with the rest of your body. Every ounce of energy had dissipated in your body.
“I’m not enough for you, Y/N. I never have been enough,” he said lowly. “I don’t deserve a love like yours. You tell me that you love me every night before I go to sleep and I have never said those same words to you. And you haven’t complained. I let the women in the bars flirt with me, not even thinking that it would hurt you. I didn’t even comprehend that they were flirting because all I can think about is you. I’m still an asshole for letting it happen, and you deserve someone better than me. Someone who won’t let women flirt with him at the bar. Someone who won’t try to push you away when times get hard.”
“I never said you weren’t good enough for me, Dean. Don’t you dare say that to me,” you stated, turning around to face him. Your expression was angry at best, but sad at the same time. “I never needed you to tell me you loved me every single day, Dean. Your actions spoke louder than words ever could. I didn’t need to hear those three words.”
“Then tell me what you need. Tell me what you need me to do and I’ll fucking do it. I’m not letting you walk out that door without a fight,” he declared. “Tell me.”
“What’s the point?”
“What’s the point? What’s the fucking point? The point is you’re the first girl I’ve ever loved this much and I can’t stand the thought of you not by my side. I know things have sucked lately and I know I’ve pushed you so far that you have every right to walk out that door but I will never forgive myself if I didn’t fight for you. Tell me what I can do to fix this and dammit I will. You want a bouquet of a dozen roses everyday then I’ll do it. You want a date night once or twice a week and I’ll fucking plan a date night. Tell me that there is something I can do to fix this. I know I don’t deserve it but please. Please don’t give up on me.”
“What I want is for us to stop fighting about everything. I want you to be able to trust me and trust that I’m a good hunter and that you don’t have to be on my case every single time. I want to come home and know that I can relax and not have to worry about where I might be sleeping tonight. I don’t want to question whether you love me or not. I don’t want you to push me away when things get tough or watch a bartender hit on you yet again and have you do nothing about it. I just want you, Dean. I want the man I fell in love with,” you told him. You were calm, even though your heart was racing a mile a minute. Dean nodded his head after every sentence and you know full well that you had his attention. “I don’t need flowers or date nights every week. I just need to know you love me and that we’re in this together.”
“We’re in this together. I promise you right here, right now. I’ll fix this,” he breathed out, taking a step closer to you. He was hesitant at getting closer to you. Instead, he reached his hand out. You weren’t going to deprive yourself from being in the arms of the man you loved, even if he had screwed up. In an instant, you were in his arms, hugging him tightly.
“I suggest to start, you take me to bed and makeup for the months that passed without you touching me.”