EVEN IF YOU HURT ME

August 25, 2001: A day that will never not cause some sort of sorrow for me. That day will forever remind me that God needed you more than we did, and even though it hurts me more than anything, I’ve got to learn to accept it some day. Aaliyah, you were such a bright star in the lives of everybody — your family, friends and fans as well. You lived above and beyond the meaning of “one in a million”, proving that you can truly impact the lives of people in such little time. You taught me the meaning of hard work, dedication, kindness, humility and the meaning of following my dreams no matter what. If you were here physically, I would probably be able to explain this all better, but I know you see this from heaven. Thank you so much for being one of my role models, and giving me hope during some of my darkest times. You’ll be in my heart forever and ever. ❤️

- Sincerely,

Dyana

Also, why do people misgender me on the regular, I have my pronouns in my sidebar. Even if you hate me, it doesn’t hurt to fucking look.

Yes, I have a lady character as my URL, but I don’t think they use it pronouns for people who run blogs with like, IDK ‘cabinet’ as their blog title. 

I will stay right here and keep my distance, because I know my place will never be beside you. You will never get tired of pushing me away from you ever again. There will be no need for you to tell me to stay away and get a life and move on and forget it. It will be so easy for you from now on. Meanwhile, life will be so hard for me, but that’s alright. I will be okay. After all, what is love without a little sacrifice, right? The important thing is that you will be far away from me, which is what you want and I feel is what you really need. Still, even if I know that this will hurt me so much, and even if I’m aware that the pain will stay with me for the rest of my life, just keep in mind that I will be loving you forever. No matter how far away my heart will be from yours, I will never stop loving you.
Please don’t think that I never loved you , just because I’m with another guy. I loved you like shit … You broke my heart so bad that for a while I became someone else. It was all the crying ,and trying to convince you we belong together, that made me realize I couldn’t stay like that . I still respect you, I know you never wanted to hurt me. But I think even you knew when you held in me in your arms last time that it would be the last. My new guy is no rebound.I don’t compare you guys.He is a gentle soul that was first my friend…and I really like him …but I already know I’m afraid to love him.
And it’s all because of you.
"Mercy" by Shawn Mendes
  • (Beautiful humming)
  • You've got a hold of me 
  • Don’t even know your power
  • I'll stand a hundred feet
  • But I'll fall when I’m around ya
  • Show me an open door 
  • And you go and slam it on me
  • I can’t take anymore
  • I’m saying baby please have mercy on me
  • Take it easy on my heart 
  • Even though you don’t mean to hurt me
  • You keep tearing me apart 
  • Would you please have mercy mercy
  • On my heart 
  • Would you please have mercy mercy
  • On my heart
  • I'll drive through the night
  • Just to be near you baby 
  • Heart open testify
  • Tell me that I’m not crazy
  • I'm not asking for love
  • Just that you’re honest with me
  • My pride is all i got
  • I’m saying baby please have mercy on me 
  • Take it easy on my heart 
  • Even though you don’t mean to hurt me
  • You keep tearing me apart 
  • Would you please have mercy on me
  • I'm a puppet on your string
  • And even though you got good intentions
  • I need you to set me free
  • Would you please have mercy mercy
  • On my heart 
  • Would you please have mercy mercy
  • On my heart
  • Consuming all the air inside my lungs
  • Ripping all the skin from off my bones
  • I'm prepared to sacrifice my life
  • I would gladly do it twice
  • Consuming all the air inside my lungs
  • Ripping all the skin from off my bones
  • I’m prepared to sacrifice my life
  • I would gladly do it twice
  • (SUPER SEXY, RASPY OOOOOOHHHHHHHH)
  • Please have mercy on me
  • Take it easy on my heart 
  • Even though you don’t mean to hurt me
  • You keep tearing me apart 
  • Would you please have mercy on me
  • I'm a puppet on your string
  • And even though you got good intentions
  • I need you to set me free
  • I’m begging you for mercy mercy 
  • I’m begging you begging you please baby
  • I’m begging you for mercy mercy 
  • Oh I’m begging you I’m begging you
  • yeah
  • (Beautiful humming)
The terror of believing

With words as smooth as yours
Smiles as gentle and heart triggering-
You. You are poison.
And god forbid the me who keeps her feet around you, fighting against her well placed comstraints. Itching.

For even a bit of the agony that kills.
Under the bright enticing packaging,
You. I can’t even begin to comprehend
your true nature.

Cyanide. You stopped the heart that you
helped start. Even so I crave for more of
You.
You hurt me.
My previous captor’s chains burn as a painful reminder.
Slave to my emotions, clarity out of sight.

:~ Hiatus ~:

Not even making a fancy post about this because I can;t find my icons. GG, Vi.

Well, guys. The group I became a member of disbanded, no longer a thing which is honestly sad. u.u I looked forward to it but hey, sometimes things don’t work out. As do many things but hey, that’s just my current salty nature peaking through. 

I’m deciding to go on a hiatus. I’ve got a lot of adjusting to do in this new environment, they want me to improve on my life & I’m going to be working on some things in my life. I had plans of going to a different fandom but that surely went down the drain ( thus why I’m salty af ) but I want to keep my Blake. Even writing this now is making me teary eyed because.. This blog has given me everything.

This blog was made as a getaway from some people in my life, a place to find myself, my happiness. It wasn’t a serious thing! I just was going to make it for a bit then switch to a character I originally was. But you guys, the people I met here.. You changed my mind. I made friends, I fell in love with my partners and the ideas we shared. The love I felt by some and jsut the warmth this group I’ve been a part of has made me feel. I owe this blog so much because of you guys.

The ones who helped me grow, those who helped me get out of my shell, the people who opened their arms to me and gave me a sanctuary. God, I’m crying but because I’ve never said all this.

Thank you. Seriously. All of you. And I won’t be gone for long or I swear, I’ll jsut bawl and cry like a baby who lost her best friend. You guys have become such a big part of my life, big part of my world and happiness. 

So thank you. You.. All made me witness what it was like to honestly be happy.

Whatever It Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn’t even know
Now there’s a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I’ll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what’s at stake
I know that I’ve let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I’ll keep us together whatever it takes

She said “If we’re gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don’t hide the broken parts that I need to see”
She said “Like it or not it’s the way it’s gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me”

I’ll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what’s at stake
I know that I’ve let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I’ll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I’d be lost without you and never find myself
Let’s hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I’ll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what’s at stake
I know I’ve let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I’ll keep us together whatever it takes

🌗💔

You always tell me that things will be fine even if reality says no. You always make me smile even if I’m having a bad day. You always listen to my stories even if they are boring. You always do things that make me happy even if I hurt you. Sorry for the things that I have done. Sorry for everything. Even if you tell me that it’s okay, it’s done, no it is not. I won’t stop saying sorry because I know to myself what damage I have done to you. I wanted you to come back. I really wanted. You know how much I love you. I really do. Sorry isn’t enough to make you whole. Let me find those broken pieces to make you whole again, and if I can’t find all of them and you’re still broken, I’ll use mine, just to save. I love you.

vanishingage  asked:

Hi Seanan, I just wanted to say thank you for Full of Briars. I've always been fond of Quentin and in my current mire of depression it was a sweet little respite. ♥️♥️ (Also, your Sailor Moon pieces are very lovely, even when they hurt.)

You are very welcome!

Quentin delights me.  I freely admit, when I introduced him, I didn’t expect to love him like I do.