EJ: Well when you spotted the videographer, you got suddenly very excited to film your audition tape for “America’s Next Top Model.”

Jeff: Oh, my god!

EJ: Yeah.

Jeff: I thought that was a dream.

EJ: It wasn’t.

Jeff: The posing, the strutting, the inappropriate gyrating?

EJ: All caught on video and several of Ben’s buddies’ camera phones.

Jeff: Why didn’t you stop me?

EJ: I tried, we all tried, but you were on a mission. You kept saying, “I’m not here to make friends. I want to win.“

anonymous asked:

Any EyelessBEN headcanons my dude?

You know it my dude

Ben pets EJs hair when he’s stressed or not feeling well.

EJ likes the fact that Ben is a demon and already dead so he doesnt have to worry about him dying.

EJ gives Ben piggyback rides

Ben gives EJ hugs everyonce in a while because sometimes EJs feelings just drop and he feels horrible and Ben helps him snap out of it with kisses complements and hugs.

"The point for me is largely pleasure."

 An Interview with Eric Jarosinski

Whenever Eric Jarosinski ran late for our class (“Nietzsche’s Modernity”) at the University of Pennsylvania, he’d invariably send us mass emails with subject lines like, “Thus was Zarathustra 10-15 mn late.” Or after news of a snow day: “Die Another Day. In Venice.” For an email ominously titled “Krank,” he’d add, “That’s German for sick. Because that’s how bad I’m feeling right now.”

That constant impulse to write playful, incisive, well-punctuated aphorisms has made Jarosinski a Twitter phenomenon. He has almost 88,000 followers, an incredibly large number considering Jarosinski’s favorite topics include hermeneutics (“Another beautiful day for signifying nothing”) and grammar (“An Oxford comma walks into a bar. Orders a gin, and tonic.”) Under the handle Nein Quarterly, a fictional magazine that may soon become real, Jarosinski takes on the persona of “Nein,” a zeppelin-flying alter ego of Theodor W. Adorno that turns a critical, monocled eye on the world. 

Jarosinski’s tongue-in-cheek self-identification as a #FailedIntellectual after he decided to leave academia resonates with an audience looking to think outside traditional academic boundaries. His most earnest tweets come when promoting crowd-sourced or free resources for thought, like the avant-garde UbuWeb or the “PDF library” Arg Dot Org. 

Our interview took place over email; he responded on various Apple devices.

—Brenda Wang 


THE BELIEVER: You’ve recently inked a book deal for NEIN. A MANIFESTO, which means you’re moving back to writing books, this time in “small but potent clusters of text.” What does that mean exactly? Is Nein really Nein without Twitter?

ERIC JAROSINKI: Embarrassing. I don’t really know. That’s promotional text I didn’t write myself. I think it means “short but good.” That’s what I’ve been trying to write anyway, with varying degrees of success.

And yes, Nein is still Nein without Twitter, at least in spirit, but not exactly in form. I am trying to write for the book as a medium, just as I’ve tried to learn to write for Twitter as a medium. I know nothing about music, but I’m tempted to say something about tweets being about dissonance and sharp counterpoints, but for print I’m trying to think more in terms of composition, maybe some sort of little textual fugues. Uh, small but potent clusters of, uh, textual fugues.

BLVR: The promotional text on Lebowski Publishers’ website says that the book will, “As good old Horace would have put it, instruct and delight in equal measure.” That seems a little medieval for Nein—what are you hoping to instruct readers about?

EJ: You’ll have to ask my agent. The only thing I’ve ever tried to teach is a type of respectfully irreverent spirit in approaching the authors, thinkers, and ideas that have meant a great deal to me. At my best, I’d like to think I’m helping in some very small way to put the critical back into critical theory—by demystifying thinkers whose very objective was demystification.

BLVR: What is your schedule like now that you’re no longer a professor? Do you find that you have more time to think and write without a defined career, or less?

EJ: Well, it’s summertime, and the damaged life is easy… Though not for much longer, as I just got my last professorial paycheck. I get up relatively early, read a lot of German news, play basketball in a South Philly playground for an hour or so, usually writing some jokes in breaks, then often end up in a favorite dive bar by mid-afternoon to write. In the evening I grill on my front steps, read, maybe watch a Werner Herzog documentary. Most of my writing is done late at night. The uneasy sleep of an ongoing mid-life crisis is good for that.

BLVR: It’s funny that you say you watch a lot of Herzog’s films, because Nein’s tweets often remind me of Herzog’s dramatic voice-overs in his documentaries. What interests you about them?

EJ: I’m fascinated by Herzog’s own fascination, his intensity really. Every time I watch one of his films I’m reminded that I’m wasting my time if I’m not living with some degree of passion. And for a long time I wasn’t. Your question reminds me that I applied for Werner Herzog’s Rogue Film School in LA in August. Haven’t heard anything. Probably not good news.

Keep reading


You caught me at an awful time,

see I just lost my smile,

and that is what you help me find,

I haven’t seen it in a while,

“Tell me something,” I found myself saying as before I took a swig from my iced dragonfruit herbal tea. 

He stuffed his mouth once more with food before making eye contact with me. It’s been a week since our intense moment at my art studio and lately his presence has been…appealing. For the last few days he has been coming around whenever he had down time. If he was not working on new art projects or with his crew he was now with me. Oddly, I found his presence slightly addicting. I enjoyed having him around, however I would never admit that to him. That puts us in this moment. For the past few days while I have been at work he has made it his decision to come visit me on my lunch break and he would either bring food or we would step out for lunch. Today we decided to eat in my office.

 "Tell you what?“ He mumbled. 

"Tell me something about yourself.”

He smiled slyly while sitting his empty food container down and leaning back in his chair that sat across from me.

 "Oh so now you’re so interested in who I am. Why baby?“

I rolled my eyes wanting nothing more than to slap the cocky smirk on full display off of his face. 

"Are you going to tell me something or not?” I replied with an attitude. 

“What do you want to know?”

“Are you the only child?”

“Nah, I got my brother, Rah. You met him that night that you came over.”

“Yes, I remember him. Now is that your biological brother? You guys look nothing alike,” I said stating the obvious. 

“No we’re not biological. It’s a long story, but blood couldn’t make us any closer. I’ve known him my whole life. My whole life he’s been my brother. My mother adopted him,” he explained.

 I could sense that this topic was rough for him so I decided to change it and step back into the comfort zone 

“What’s your favorite color?" 

"Black, red and gold,” he replied. 

“I should have known."He cocked his head to the side in a questioning manner. 

"Your room.”

He nodded his head before turning his attention to his phone. While he was occupied I took it upon myself to check the time on my phone. 12:10 p.m Once again I have gone over my lunch break hour with him. 

“It seems that every time you are around I lose focus,” I spoke gaining his attention. 

His sly smirk once again graced his gorgeous face causing my eyes to roll involuntarily.

 "Sounds like a good thing to me.“

"Of course it does.”

“You’re the boss baby. Who do you have to answer to?" 

His question struck me for a moment. It is true. I am the boss therefore I have no one to answer to, however being time efficient is something I am proud of. Being late and distracted has never been in my resume. Until him

"I answer to no one, but I don’t like being off task for too long,” I answered before removing my papers from my folder and placing them on my desk. 

“I think that’s just another way of you saying that you live a boring ass life and need a nigga like me to liven it up,” he joked with a wide cocky smile. 

“Yeah, or not.” I responded imitating his large smile. 

His laughter filled the room before I heard movement from where he was sitting. Not taking my gaze off of the paperwork in front of me I continued to flip through the papers until I felt his warm breath hitting the back of my neck causing that area of skin to break out in goosebumps. His fingers soon found their way into my hair massaging my scalp slightly and then falling to the crook of my neck. 

“I think you should drop this little act,” he spoke inches away from my skin.

“What act?" 

His hand began to caress my neck making me close my eyes tightly and relish in the feeling. 

"This entire act that you have going on. You want me to believe that you don’t feel anything when I am around. You act as though my words alone can’t send you over the edge. As if I’m blind to the fact that you want me. You can cut the whole strictly business bullshit now.”

My eyes snapped open catching myself falling victim to his whole being. 

“This is strictly business.”

 "Strictly business huh?“ he chuckled slights before placing both hands on each side of me planted firmly on the edge of my desk. "Come out with me tonight.”

“The last time I went out with you I was left drunk off my ass and in your bed,” I spat. 

“Your choice. Not mine.”

I mumbled a ‘whatever’ before going back to my paper work. 

“I’m serious though Avery. Come out with me tonight. My friend Naya, you remember Naya?" 

"From that night? Yeah.”

 "Well she’s performing tonight. Every other Monday she performs downtown at this cafe for open mic night and spoken word. The event itself is dope. Me and my crew are going there tonight and I want you to come.“

"I don’t know Javier." 

"That wasn’t really a question by the way. I’ll pick you up around 7:30. Just text me your address.”

With that said he placed a swift kiss on my cheek, grabbed his things and left my office closing the door behind him. I shook my head at how easily he had me. As much as I wanted to deny it keeping things strictly business with him was almost impossible. I knew I bit off more than I could chew at our lunch when he signed our contract. I knew then and I know now. Ridding him out of my thoughts I swiftly pulled out my laptop and began my long list of emails. 

Javier’s exhibit grand opening is happening in two weeks and I want to make sure everything will be perfect. One thing I can agree on is our work ethic. He’s a perfectionist just like I am so I do not doubt that he will have everything prepared and ready to go at the exhibit in two weeks. That was our deal. He’ll handle the exhibit and I’ll handle the media exposure and business portion. I just knew that this grand opening was going to be big and I could not mask my excitement. Scrolling through my emails I hard a light knock at the door. 

Hearing the door open I glanced up and smiled widely as my two friends sashayed into my office. 

“Well looks who’s alive and well,” EJ boasted as he dramatically took a seat in my chair. 

Rolling my eyes slightly I closed my laptop realizing that I wasn’t going to get any more work done today. 

“Don’t come in here acting stank bitch,” I replied causing him to chuckle.

 "And just where have you been?“ Blair questioned taking the seat next to him. 

"I’ve been here. What are you guys talking about?" 

"Don’t give us that answer. We know where you been. You’ve been with fine ass Javier. That’s where you been,” EJ interjected. 

I waved them both off trying to downplay the fact that I have been recently. 

“Look at her trying to play us,” Blair spoke to EJ. 

I laughed at their silliness knowing I could never get anything past these two. They knew me better than I knew myself at times. 

“Okay maybe I have." 

Blair squealed loudly making EJ send her a death glare.

"Keep that screaming shit down to a minimum bitch,” EJ demanded before turning his attention back on me. “Okay, so give us the details.”

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, “There really aren’t any details to give.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” Blair said keeping her attention on me. 

She’s right.

“Both of you get off of my back. We’ve just been focusing on this art exhibit and the opening that is within two weeks may I add or did you two bitches forget?" 

EJ mumbled something smartly under his breath, but I decided to pay it no mind. 

"He did invite me to this open mic tonight. His friend is performing and I’m guessing his crew is going to be there.”

“So is that our invite?” EJ questioned before Blair could formulate her sentence. 

I giggled at the both of them before responding with a quick 'yes’. 

“I don’t know the address though so I will have to let you guys know when he picks me up,” I informed them.

“Oooh Javier is picking you up?” Blair spoke in a sing-song tone. 

For the billionth time today I rolled my eyes before checking the time. It was now going on 1 o’ clock and I still have to make my way home, find an outfit for tonight and not to mention visit my parents’ home. 

“I don’t have time to deal with you two today. I have to go see my parents." 

I started to pack up my paper work and laptop. I didn’t have time to sit and go back and forth with them. Although I wasn’t in the most excited mood to go to my parents’ house I wanted to make this trip quick and painless. Well at least I was going to try. 

"You’re going to your parents’ house?” Blair spoke with wide eyes.

“Yup. After my mother made it her mission to annoy me and blow my damn phone up with calls I’ve finally decided to give in.”

The thought alone had me letting out a deep sigh.

“Are you and her back on good terms again?" 

I chuckled, "Good terms? More like tolerable.”

It was no secret that me and my mother weren’t the best of friends. We just did not see eye to eye on some things and she always made sure that I knew that.  

“Don’t let her get to you wussy-puss,” Blair spoke softly coming to me and pulling me into a hug. 

“I’m not. Hopefully my dad is there. Therefore I won’t have to deal with her too much," 

I grabbed my bag, sunglasses and Iphone. 

"I’m heading out now, I’ll see y'all later. Please be sure to lock up for me. Oh and B before you leave call Mr. Lewis and invite him to the grand opening. I think he was the last on my list.”

She nodded her head and once again I sent them both a wave and exited my office. Walking into the lobby a heard a wave of 'byes’ and 'have a good day Ms. Paige’. I sent them all a quick head nod and made my way out of the building. The valet noticed my presence and quickly went to grab my car. AsI stood there waiting I tried my best to calm my nerves. I wasn’t about going to see my parents, but rather anxious because my mother always had a way of making things ugly. She and I always seemed to disagree no matter what the issue is and my father always played the referee. She wanted me to be like her and I, well I wanted to be everything but her.

I glanced up hearing the coughing of someone near me. The valet boy wore a large smile and had his arm stretched out to hand me my keys.

 "Top down just like you like Ms. Paige.“

"Thank you Jared. Have a nice day!” I exclaimed over my shoulder as I slid into the driver seat.

 Without wasting any time I maneuvered into main traffic picking up speed as I drove on. I made a mental note to enjoy the drive over to my parents’ home because I knew that once I got there I would be highly annoyed. The drive itself is going to be about two hours so I turned my music up loud and relaxed as the bright sun beamed down on me and the wind caused my hair to tumble every way.

 Surprisingly, traffic on the highway was light so I knew that the drive would not be much of a hassle. I picked up weaving in and out of traffic before my phone started to go off indicating that I had a text message. Picking up my phone my mouth twisted into a sly smile as his name showed across my screen. It was a picture of him with his face screwed up, in paint covered overalls with them message, “still waiting on that damn address!” I giggled, but couldn’t help but to swoon at the sight of him. He really was good on the eyes.

I quickly composed a text back telling him to be patient only for him to text me back with the reply,

Javier: Baby I have none. 

I rolled my eyes at his dramatic ways and sent him a text with my address. Merging over into a different lane my phone went off once again. 

Javier: What have you been doing since I left?

Me: The plan was to actually WORK but of course Bee and EJ dropped in on me in my office so that went out of the window. Now I’m on my way to visit my parents.

Javier: I don’t want to interrupt your time with your parents. Go ahead and

spend time with them because you’ll be mine tonight. 

My insides churned at the last sentence in his text.

You’ll be mine tonight.

Everything he said always seemed so…sensual. Day by day I become more and more caught up in his twisted web and sadly at this point, I don’t think I mind. What he did not understand though is that I needed the distraction from my parents. A distraction would be nice actually.

 Me: What should I wear tonight?

I sat my phone in the cup holder beside me and tapped my thumb on the steering wheel as I continued weaving through traffic. My phone erupted letting me know that he has replied.

 Javier: If it’s up to me, something sexy and fitting.

 Before I could reply he sent another text.

 Javier: Matter of fact, let’s go with that.

 A wide grin spread across my face as the perfect outfit came to mind. My smile soon faltered as I thought about the fact that his opinion mattered. My how things have changed within the last few weeks and somehow it was beyond my control. Almost as if he weaseled his way into my mind daily and refused to leave. I decided to keep the conversation going that I was now only forty minutes out from my parents’ home and did not want to think about what will take place there once I arrived.

Me: So, what are you doing?

Javier: Go spend time with your people. I’ll see you later baby.

 I sighed loudly at his response. It was almost as if he knew that I was using him as a distraction.

 “Ass,” I mumbled before sitting my phone back into the cup holder.

 Time went by and I finally arrived at my parents’ large home smiling slightly at the sight of my father standing on the porch painting on a canvas with a cigar placed in the side of his mouth. Hearing my music he turned his attention towards me and a wide toothy smile flashed across his face as he sat his painting utensils to the side. Parking my car in their drive way behind my father’s truck and my mother’s BMW I cut the ignition and stepped out of my car.

“My beautiful baby girl!” My dad exclaimed stepping off of the porch.

 Running towards him I opened my arms wide and crashed into his chest once I approached him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head.

 “Oh Princess about time you come to see your old man,” he sighed out easing his grip and looking down at me.

 “I missed you pops.”

 “I know you have. I also know that you’ve been busy so I’ve been patient.”

 “Yeah well I wished your wife thought the same way,” I grumbled rolling my eyes.

 He let out a hearty chuckle, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led the way over to the front door of the house.

“Yeah, well you know how your mother is.”

 That was my dad. He stayed clear of the drama between my mother and me but he knew how selfish and petty she could be. Unlike me he just never spoke on it.

“She’s inside princess so please be on your best behavior and watch that mouth of yours,” he pleaded with me turning me to face him before we walked inside.

 Sighing I told him that I would try and that seemed to be enough for him. Walking inside of the house the smell of a fresh baked apple pie filled my senses and immediately I shook my head with a chuckle realizing that my mother once again wasn’t going to play fair.

 “Smells like she’s whipping up your favorite princess,” my whispered as we approached the kitchen.

 “Of course she is,” I mumbled back before taking a deep breath.

 Instantly my eyes fell on my mother dressed in a soft pink flowing maxi dress and her long black tresses cascaded down her back. Soft music played throughout the kitchen and she hummed along as she continued moving around the area setting things up which I’m assuming is for me. My mouth watered slightly at the sight of my mother’s apple pie. Regardless of how much of a pain in my ass she may be her apple pie always made up for it. At least for the moment.

“Baby, princess is here,” my dad announced gaining my mother’s attention.

“My pretty baby,” she boasted dropping her over mitten and making her way over to me.

Taking me into a tight a hug, I reciprocated by wrapping my arms around her as well. Throughout the years my mother and I have developed a love/hate relationship, but I could never deny that seeing her always put me at ease. That is until she opens her damn mouth and says something that pisses me off.

 “Come on, I made apple pie and I bought vanilla bean ice cream!”

 Another favorite of mine. Side-eyeing my father he just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders while following behind her to the dining room table. We all took our places around the large marble table as my mother began to cut the pie placing each slice on the three plates and scooping ice cream to top each slice off. My eyes devoured the dessert as she placed it in front of me with a spoon. Sending her a quick smile and a ‘thank you’ I didn’t hesitate to dig in. A light moan escaped my lips as the taste of the warm pie and cold ice cream hit my taste buds satisfying my needs. I heard her giggle before taking a bite of her own. We all ate in silence until we were finished.

 Wiping my mouth with my napkin I sat back in my chair dramatically rubbing my stomach.

 “That tasted amazing as always baby,” my father complimented repeating my movements.

“Yeah mom that was great,” I added.

She smiled brightly at both of us and thanked us both.

“So princess how’s business going?” My father questioned giving me his full attention.

“Daddy it’s going amazing right now,” I gushed turning to face him. “Matter of fact I have an art exhibit opening in two weeks and I want you both to come glancing between my mother and father.

My mom didn’t reply so my father took the green light.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world princess,” he promised giving me a genuine grin. “Now who’s the artist?”

Involuntarily my lips twisted into a toothy smile.

“Konfuzed daddy.”

My father’s eyes grew large.

“The Konfuzed? Baby girl that’s major! How did you pull that off?” My father rambled quickly.

“Whatever a Paige wants, a Paige gets,” I stated quoting my father’s infamous saying.

“That’s my girl!” He boasted with a laugh.

I noticed my mother’s deathly silence throughout our conversation, but decided to brush it off not wanting to ruin my mood.

“Just remember princess, don’t run yourself into the ground. Always make time for yourself,” my father advised which I took in.

“I will daddy.”

“She wouldn’t have that issue if she just met a man and allowed him to take care of her,” my mother intervened causing me to roll my eyes.

“Lee,” my father warned while cutting his eyes low at her.

“No, let her continue daddy.”

“I’m just seeing Avery Lee Paige you’re running yourself ragged working like a man while you can’t even keep one!”

My father groaned while I just mugged her in disgust.

“Are you serious? I’m making a damn name for myself so excuse me if I don’t want to be like you and only get recognition whenever my husband is around,” I snapped back.

“You will watch your tone when speaking to me. I am a damn good wife and I take care of my home. My mother was a house wife, I take care of my husband’s every need and you would too if you had some damn sense! You’re twenty-five and not even engaged hell you’re not even in a committed relationship. You’re the black sheep of the family!”

“You take care of your home? Your husbands every need?” I scoffed. “Tell me mom, was that before or after you got caught cheating on my father, your husband, for an entire two years?”

Her eyes went wide and stared at me with pure shock.

“Enough!” My father yelled making both of us turn our attention elsewhere but each other.

“That’s enough,” my father restated more calmly.

“You’re right daddy, it is because I’m leaving. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.”

Grabbing my things, I shoved my chair back and made my way out of the living room. Shaking my head in anger I exhaled deeply realizing that once again I allowed my mother to get under my skin. Once again her twisted mind made an appearance and ruined what could’ve been a perfect afternoon. Forcefully pushing the door open I heard my father calling my name as I stepped out onto the porch. Finally stopping so that he could catch up I turned to face him as he met me on the porch. Without another word he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into a hug.

“I’m so sorry baby girl. Sometimes your mother can be…” he paused for a moment looking for the right words.

“A bitch,” I said finishing his sentence.

“Hey,” he pulled away slightly and looked down at me. “No matter what that’s still your mother.”

“Yeah, whatever daddy. Look I’m not in the mood for this and I still have to make the trip back home.”

He sighed and finally released me.

“Okay, but make sure to call me when you get home.”

I promised and made my way to my car. Getting in, I brought the car to life and quickly drove out of their driveway. Waving one last time to my dad I took off down the street in attempt to get as far away as possible.

“I knew I shouldn’t have come,” I mumbled to myself making my way back onto the highway.

I turned my music up and prepared for this drive.


“So how was your time with your people?” He questioned taking his eyes off of the road for a moment. 

I sighed deeply running my fingers through my hair. 

“I guess if you take away my annoyed state and wanting to rip my mother’s head off of her shoulders then I guess you can say that it was great,” I replied sarcastically. 

He laughed, “damn baby. Family problems?" 

I shrugged my shoulders. 

"It’s just my mom. My relationship with her has been shitty for a few years now. Me and my dad are close. He’s my heart,” I explained. 

He continued to maneuver through traffic humming along to the song that was playing lightly in the background. 

“What about your family?” I asked turning a little in my seat to face him.

His jaw clenched tightly and his hand gripped the steering.

“My pops, if that’s what you would like to call him, he’s dead. My mother is the love of my life though. Get on my nerves at times, but I know she only be buggin’ because of how much she care.”

“Sorry about your dad,” I mumbled. 

“Don’t be. We weren’t close.”

I nodded my head and turned my head to look out of the window as we cruised through downtown L.A. Buildings and bright lights come and go as he continued driving down the street. Feeling his hand gently grip my thigh, I placed my attention back on him. 

“Have fun with me tonight, okay?" 

My eyebrow peaked in curiosity as I waited for him to explain. 

"Don’t think too much baby. Just relax with me. Enjoy my company. Can you do that?" 

I smiled softly, "I can.”

He returned my smile and kept his hand on my thigh. In my mind I went over his words. What he did not know was that I’ve grown to adore his company, his presence, his spirit. I only dreamed to be as carefree as he is. Whenever he is around it never fails that somehow my thoughts are suddenly nonexistent. If only I could be like that all of the time. 

Before I knew it we were pulling into a parking lot of a coffee shop where a crowd of people were hanging around. Pulling into a parking space, he cut the engine and exited his side telling me to wait for him. Within a few seconds he was at my side helping me out of the car. Stepping out I took notice of the people around us. Some were waiting to enter the building, there were a few standing around engaging in smoke sessions and others were conversing with people that they knew or maybe even meeting new people. 

He grabbed my hand and led me towards the door. On the way he sent head nods and waves to the people that he recognized. 

“I’m guessing you come down here often?" 

"Yeah. I get a lot of inspiration from around here.”

“Your muse?” I questioned causing him to glance back at me with a smirk. 

“Nah, you’re my muse." 

For some reason I found myself sending him a toothy grin as we continued to walk through the parking lot and finally reached the building. Allowing me to step in front of him his free hand found its way to my hip as he guided me into the door. Once we stepped in the sight of a nice sized room came to view with numerous tables and booths that were placed throughout the room. Candles flickered from the distance, the dim lightening set a calm mood and put me at ease. The stage was set up and a microphone stood dead smack in the middle while a drum set and a guitar set off to the side. A bar was placed on the other side of the room which was surrounded by a group of people. 

We stepped further into the room, but was stopped in our tracks at the sound of someone yelling in our direction.

"About time you showed up nigga. You take longer then a bitch!” Rakim exclaimed approaching us. 

I giggled as Javier sent him a death glare. 

“Fuck up nigga,” he spat back at him. 

Rakim simply waved him off and made his way over to give me a hug. 

“You look fucking good girl,” he complimented bringing me into a hug. 

I sent him a quick 'thank you’ and wrapped my free arm around him to return his gesture. 

“Aye watch it nigga. You my brother, but I’ll still beat yo ass,” Javier joked shoving his brother’s shoulder roughly. 

Rakim laughed and began to lead the way to our table I’m assuming. 

“The crew is over here waiting for yall." 

We both nodded our head and followed behind him. I grinned at the sight of EJ and Blair talking with Jae and Kai. Walking over to them I said 'hi’ to everyone and gave all of them a hug before making my way over to where Javier was already sitting. Sliding into the booth next to him he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around my shoulder and place the other hand on my thigh. Leaning close into my ear I felt a smile form on his lips. 

"You do look damn good by the way,” he spoke just above a whisper. 

My cheeks reddened and before I could say anything a man appeared on the stage and started speaking into the microphone. 

“What’s up beautiful people? I hope everyone is feeling good and ready to hear some amazing poetry, bands and singers because we have some of the most talented L.A people in the house tonight. The first person I’m bringing to the stage is Naya. She’s one of my favorite and I know some of you can say the same.”

Javier and his friends began to clap their hands loudly and chant Naya’s name. 

“Yeah, I thought so,” the man joked. “Without wasting any more time everybody welcome the beautiful Naya to the stage!”

Everyone clapped their hands as her small body came into view. She thanked everybody for coming and jumped right into her song with the band playing behind her. Her soft angelic voice flowed throughout the room and I found myself in trance. 

“She’s dope right?" 

I nodded my head still keeping my attention on her. She sung words of love and dreams and I could only imagine the love she went on about. As she ended her set a round of applause bounced throughout the room and she exited as another artist was being introduced. She made her over to us, hugging each of us as she passed. 

"You were amazing,” I gushed as she leaned in to give me a hug. 

“Thank you, I’m so happy that you were able to come.”

“I’m happy I decided to come.”

She sent me one more smile and walked over to the others taking a seat with them. A few more artist stepped onto the stage and each one had me marveling over their words. My mind instantly began thinking, what is it that I’m missing? How are all of these people feeling so much love, experience, pain, happiness, peacefulness  to write about? I could only dream of what they spoke about. At times I do. 

“What are you over there thinking about?" 

I was mute for a second not knowing how to explain my thoughts and how I was thinking. Instead I continued to let him stare into my eyes as he tried to figure it out. His hand grabbed for mine and he was egging me to get up from our seat. 

"What are we doing? I found myself asking as he grabbed both of out things. 

"We’re getting out of here.”

“What about them?”

“Forget them.”

He led the way towards the door with my trying to keep up with his pace. Making our way outside the crowd in the parking lot has died down because everyone was now inside. Opening my door he waited for me to slide in and get situated before closing the door and jogging over to his side. 

“Javier where are we going?” I asked in annoyance. 

“You trust me?” He replied with a question as he turned to face me. 

“You haven’t given me a reason not to.”

He smiled and brought the car to life. 

“Let’s have fun.”