EGGED A HOUSE

we’ve all heard of the fake dating trope… but have u considered.. fake exes trope…..

  • ‘my new romance-obsessed friend asked me who my last date was with and i was too embarrassed to say i’ve never been on a date so i blurted your name and it turns out they know you’ au
  • ‘i didn’t want to tell my friend who my real date last night was so i just pointed at a random stranger (you) but now they’re storming over to interrogate you and you’re playing along??? okay’ au
  • ‘a mutual friend tried to introduce us, but we already knew each other from LARPing but we’re both too embarrassed to admit that so i jokingly said we used to date and oh god now our friend wont stop interrogating us about it’ au
  • ‘im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they’re yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this i don’t want to go to jail’ au
  • ‘my current partner is a huge asshole and i need a reason to break up with them so will you pretend to be my possessive and violent ex’ au
  • ‘we’re contestants on a reality show and we kind of hate each other so the producers told us to pretend to be warring exes for the ratings so now we keep inventing crazier and crazier things the other did while we were dating’ au
one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.
The Excessively Detailed Headcanon Tumblr Meme

tigersniper:

Send me some numbers and a character name and I will tell you:

  1. What does their bedroom look like?
  2. Do they have any daily rituals?
  3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?
  4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?
  5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)
  6. Eating habits and sample daily menu
  7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time
  8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging
  9. Makeup?
  10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?
  11. Intellectual pursuits?
  12. Favorite book genre?
  13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?
  14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)
  15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?
  16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?
  17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress
  18. Favorite beverage?
  19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?
  20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?
  21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?
  22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?
  23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?
  24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?
  25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?
  26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?
  27. What is their biggest regret?
  28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?
  29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)
  30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)
  31. Most prized possession?
  32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?
  33. Concept of home and family?
  34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)
  35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?
  36. What makes them feel guilty?
  37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?
  38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?
  39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?
  40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?
  41. How misanthropic are they?
  42. Hobbies?
  43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?
  44. Religion?
  45. Superstitions or views on the occult?
  46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?
  47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?
  48. How do they express love?
  49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?
  50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?
i. Kids playing hooky early morning, I am the pain relief pills they hide under their tongue and spit out under the couch cushions when their mother shuts the screen door. I am the first time you skin your knee, in the rain whispering nixie weaved revenge spells down your yellow coat and your red boots (the first time you really know you are alone). I am the hand stand on the sidewalk when your elbow buckles in like lame horses fall to the canyon mouth, you are just a child. You can fly, turn invisible, speak to animals, walk through walls. Rustling, do you hear it? Yanking the baby teeth from their pink beds.

ii. You crumble under the weight of a naked black sky, feeling something skittering on your skin. Something wicked and naive. Like a spider egg. You get a mouthful of broken teeth, and lay frying sunny side up on the summer asphalt.

iii. Tonight you’re gonna learn how to fall, then get back up again. Tonight you are gonna know what it is to be exhausted. Are you okay when you fall off your daydream and end up on your back? Your eyes are red where they used to be white.

iv. you have been chewing your will to live with the aching wisdom teeth you desperately need to get pulled. you have been softening it with your saliva, but it’s 11 pm, and it’s stale now, and it tangles into your rapunzel locks in your sleep and finally gives you an excuse to cut all your hair off.

v. Last week your dentist asked if anything was bothering you, and you almost told him about the small tooth you think is growing between your tricuspids, pushing everything out of place, sending you on the verge of sonic tears and crawling on the bathroom floor with no idea where your phone is, and something out of control, and poison, and odontalgia, and dysthymia, and forgetting the Latin roots, and ripped out pages of a book that was supposed to tell you how to get back home and. how long do you think I can hold my breath before I look like a blueberry, and it is, in me, and the throbbing red bump at the base of your sternum and how you tried to cut it off but you were too scared of what was underneath, and dandelion seeds of reasons why you should just stay here until somebody forgets you even showed up heaving out of your mouth and into a McDonalds bag, and the feeling at 13 in the bathroom stall after swim practice shaking like coffee on an empty stomach pulling out the first tampon you ever put inside, and your wet thighs, and the warm dirty smell.

Gargle, spit. You say no. Nothing really.

vi. you should get gold fillings. then all you have to do is flash a smile and no one will fuck with you.

vii. Four months until graduation we are not wasting time, but we eat it too fast and end up vomiting on the highway. On the swing, wood chip splinters, and agitation like termite fever beneath my skin. It’s not that I think the zombie apocalypse would be cool, but I could do all the things I do right now without getting sideways glances in the convenience store, or being told I’m depressed like it’s such a problem, or being treated like the splattered milk gallon on the dairy aisle linoleum. Everybody stepping back and maneuvering their shopping carts around the fresh disaster, and staring, and looking away, and ignoring what they don’t want to deal with. And not wanting the blame.

viii. I’m not depressed. It’s just winter.

ix. Is this the last weekend before the first blood? I’m not gonna do my homework anyway.

x. I’m not depressed. My brother took me into the car with the light fixture wires hanging from the ceiling like your wet hair from shower tiles. we zoomed down with Apollo laughing in the backseat and egged the big white houses in Beverly Hills and pretended like we were still the strawberry jam kids on concrete playing hopscotch, living in sandcastles, eating mudpies. Like we were not hotboxing, and taking pictures of half healed things under the band aid, and always ready to put our hands up when we hear sirens, and microwaving earthworms. And growing up too fast.

I’m not depressed. But I’m not coming back this time either.

xi. It’s a haunted Sunday in the home your parents left to rot, and the black mold spores bleeding down the buttermilk wallpaper are causing you to do unadvisable backbends. And somehow years later I am still the grocery list you are always throwing in the trash with the candy wrappers.

—  6. graduation cometh
THE EXCESSIVELY DETAILED HEADCANON TUMBLR MEME

Send me some numbers, and I will tell you:

  1. What does their bedroom look like?
  2. Do they have any daily rituals?
  3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?
  4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?
  5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)
  6. Eating habits and sample daily menu
  7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time
  8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging
  9. Makeup?
  10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?
  11. Intellectual pursuits?
  12. Favorite book genre?
  13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?
  14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)
  15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?
  16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?
  17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress
  18. Favorite beverage?
  19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?
  20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?
  21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?
  22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?
  23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?
  24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?
  25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?
  26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?
  27. What is their biggest regret?
  28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?
  29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)
  30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)
  31. Most prized possession?
  32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?
  33. Concept of home and family?
  34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)
  35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?
  36. What makes them feel guilty?
  37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?
  38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?
  39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?
  40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?
  41. How misanthropic are they?
  42. Hobbies?
  43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?
  44. Religion?
  45. Superstitions or views on the occult?
  46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?
  47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?
  48. How do they express love?
  49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?
  50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?
Every type's ''Bitch Slap''

SUBMITTED by Steve

In response to the ExFP’s laying the smackdown when they’ve been offended. Which I totally agree with. Whenever I disagree with my ESFP or ENFP friend on a issue that’s close to them, I get greeted with a prompt ’‘F*CK OFF!!’’ response…..nothing less. Tertiary Te is brutal.

It’s even worse with IxFPs. They have Dominant Fi and Inferior Te so the second you’re not on the same page as them, they might write you off forever without a second thought. 

Now that we have covered them however, I find that Tertiary Ti is even more brutal. Piss off an IxFJ and they will throw their Fe away and let Ti tell you exactly how they feel and when that happens, hell hath no fury like a scorn IxFJ. They will mouth off to you in ways you never imagined were possible. 

Luckily, IxTJs are much more forgiving. Through their Te, they understand emotional outbursts. i.e “I was way out of line and they corrected me”. That being said, mess with an IxTJ long enough and you are DONE! Ni/Si can only take so much abusive behavior before Fi takes over and calls it quits. And when that happens, you best believe you are in the garbage bin forever. Te is very confident that it can go on through life without you. 

Then there’s ExFJs. Dominant Fe of course is known to be an easily offended function and it is. But is it also a very forgiving function. However, cross an ExFJ and next thing you know, they are egging your house and deflating all your tires because Fe-Ni/Si has been betrayed, therefore lower Se/Ne-Ti cranks up and wants to punish you in the worst (albeit irrational) kinda way. 

ExTPs have Teritiary Fe. Though they won’t admit it, they love to be validated. Call them out on their BS and expect a whole world of hurt. Their rebuttal is bound to be very hurtful and spoken out of a place of truth (Ti). ExTPs love to think of themselves as very generous and for the most part, they actually are. So when this is not reciprocated to them, all hell breaks loose. Se and Ne knows how to make your life a living hell, so beware. 

That leaves us with ExTJs and IxTPs. They have “feeling” as their inferior function so of course they are the four types least likely to take anything personally, right? Think again. Immature ExTJs will become very self-righteous about your behavior, telling you the many ways as to how you are wrong. Meanwhile IxTPs willl probably throw tamper tantrums on how you are disrespecting them. While in most cases they are speaking out of inferior functions, you still should ask yourself if they’re not making a good point. They are Dominant thinkers after all, so respect their analysis. 

hey :”) it’s been a while since I’ve done something and I saw pristine doing this and thought it was a really cute idea!! :D this is similar to a fandom family, but it’s with hogwarts houses instead! this is just a nice way to find new blogs and make new friends! ღ

✿ how to join ✿

  • must be following me
  • reblog this post 
  • send me your name + primary house (eg: elena. hufflepuff)
  • that’s it! you’ll be added onto this page 
  • to avoid spamming, I’ll be answering asks privately 
  • there is no limit to the amount of people entering and no deadline either

thank you so so much!! stay wonderful babes ♡

the timing is all wrong pt. 2- h.s imagine

Originally posted by irinagudronchik

after the many requests and messages, here’s part 2!


“Well technically she broke up with me.” Harry quickly added.

You wore a confused look on your face before you sighed and quickly told him to come inside. Harry entered your apartment and headed over to the kitchen. You sat on one of the barstools and looked at him from across the counter. “What do you mean she broke up with you?”

Harry sighed and leaned against the counter. He played with his bottom lip before answering, “She claims that lately I’ve been neglecting her and focusing on you.” He looked at your expression before continuing, “She admitted that she’s always been jealous of how close we were. She made me choose between the two of you.” Your mouth dropped a little. Amazed that something so evil could come out of Brooklyn’s mouth. Harry stood back up and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. I was so mad that she would even think to ask me that. We started fighting and I just told her that i didn’t want to be in this kind of a relationship anymore.” You raised your eyebrow, beckoning him to continue. “So what happened?”

Harry sighed and looked down at his fingers. “So she took that as a sign and officially declared us broken up.” You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist., giving him hug. “I’m sorry, H.”

Harry wrapped his arms around you and gave you a kiss on the top of your head. “Don’t be. I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t respect our friendship.”

You leaned your head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. “I don’t want to be the reason why you guys broke up though. Maybe I should call her. Talk this out.” You stepped out of Harry’s embrace and started to reach your phone before Harry grabbed your arm. “Y/N, me and Brooklyn weren’t right for each other. It was bound to happen at some point.”

You sighed and nodded. “So what do you wanna do then to forget about this? Do you want to throw eggs at her house?” You smiled, remembering the last time a girl broke up with Harry, the two of you got shit wasted and started to egg their house before running away when you heard police sirens.

Harry threw his head back in laughter, clearly remembering what you were referring to. “Actually, I have something else in my mind.” Harry replied, a smirk on his face.

“To be fair with you, I would rather be egging someone’s house right now.” You laughed, cracking an egg into a bowl. Harry came up beside you, hands full of all the necessary ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. He chuckled before saying, “I know but I’m in the mood for something sweet. And you know your chocolate chip cookies are to die for.” You flipped your hair back, “Oh I know.” Harry smiled at you before beginning to measure out the sugar. A devious thought popped into your head as you watched Harry. Slowly your hand started inching towards the flour bag. You grabbed a handful of flour and called out, “Harry?” As he turned to look at you properly, you released the flour into his face. You laughed loudly before adding, “Oops.” Harry smiled brightly and grabbed a handful himself and throwing it at you. The two of you began a food war, throwing handfuls of sugar and flour. Just as Harry was about to crack an egg above your head, your phone started to ring. “Time out!” You quickly yelled. Harry chuckled before nodding, starting to clean the mess you guys made. You giggled and pulled out your phone, “Hello?”

“Hey beautiful. Was wonderin’ if you wanted to grab some dinner tonight.” Louis replied on the other side of the phone. You picked a chocolate chip out of your hair and replied back, “Actually, I don’t really want to get ready to go out. Why don’t you come over with some takeout?” Louis nodded his head, already heading out the door. “Sure thing, beautiful. I’ll see you in a bit.” The two of you exchanged your goodbyes and hung up. You walked back into the kitchen and saw Harry beginning to scoop out the batter and forming little balls of dough. Harry looked at you and smiled before continuing to roll out the dough, “Who was that?” You stood beside him once again, “Louis. He’s coming with dinner. You’re more than welcomed to join.”

Something in Harry suddenly clicked. Maybe he was enjoying the alone time you guys were having together but he suddenly he found himself jealous of Louis coming in the picture. He cleared his throat before subtly trying to ask, “What’s going on between the two of you anyways?”

Your cheeks instantly went red and you paused before saying, “I don’t know. We haven’t made things official but..I really like him.”

Harry nodded, his stomach instantly forming into knots. “I think I might just head home.” He then started to rinse his hands under the sink. You placed the cookies into the oven. “What? You don’t want to wait until the cookies are done?”

Harry shook his head before making his way over to you. “I think Jeff mentioned something about going out tonight anyways. I’ll see you later, ok love?” He placed a kiss on your cheek before giving you a hug.

You wore a confused look on your face before retuning the hug. You walked Harry to the door while he waved goodbye. After he left, you furrowed your eyebrows together. Weird. You quickly ran to your room and started cleaning yourself off before Louis arrived.

“God, it smells amazing in here.” Louis said while placing the Chinese takeout on the coffee table in the living room.

“Yeah. Me and Harry made some cookies earlier!” You called out, grabbing some plates and utensils from the kitchen. Louis sat on your couch, eyebrows furrowed together. “Harry was over?”

You walked back into the living room and placed the plates down. “Yeah. Him and Brooklyn broke up.” Louis nodded while staring at you opening a takeout box, “How is he?” You began scoping some rice onto your plate and replied back, “He’s actually fine.” Louis started to feel a pit of jealousy. Now that Harry was single, he could suddenly realize the perfect girl was right in front of him and..Louis couldn’t have that. He grabbed the plate out of your hands. “What are you-” you began to ask but was quickly interrupted when Louis brought his lips to yours. You instantly kissed back, hands reaching behind his neck. He slowly laid you down on the couch and started to run his hand underneath your shirt.

The two of you were tangled together on the sheets of your bed. Clothes were scattered around in the hallway from the living room to your bedroom. You smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Louis’s naked chest while he snored the night away, hand resting on your lower back. You were about to drift off to sleep as well until a faint knock on the door made you open your eyes. You looked across Louis at the clock on the bed side table. 2:20pm. You slowly untangled from Louis. He stirred a little before cuddling more into his pillow. You grabbed his shirt and put it on before looking out of the peephole on the door.

“Harry? What’s wrong?” You asked, opening the door to see a disheveled Harry, smelling of alcohol. Harry’s eyes quickly went over your attire before he called out, “Oh no! I’m already too late aren’t I!”

You quickly shushed him and beckoned him to come inside. Harry entered your apartment and quickly but gently pushed you against the door. He started to place kisses all over your face. “Harry? What’s going on?” You asked, gently pushing him away from you. Harry shook his head and tried pulling you closer to him. “Don’t be with him. We belong together.” You gasped quietly. Before you had the chance to respond, Louis came into the room with his boxers on. He looked between you and Harry. “Y/N?”


thank you guys so much for the requests and sweet messages about part 1! i hope i did everyone’s justice lol. let me know if you guys want a part 3! are you team harry or team louis? 

BTS’ Reaction to Their Son Telling Them He Got a Boyfriend at School

since you didn’t specifically specify what age, i assumed maybe within the teenage years. i hope u like it !! ♡


Seokjin:

He’d be really casual about it - Seokjin knew that his son getting into a relationship would happen eventually. 

“Really, honey? Aww, my baby’s growing up… I hope you chose a nice boy, sweetie. We’ll have him round for dinner some time this week, if you’d like.”

Originally posted by kumamxni

Yoongi/Suga:

He might be a bit protective at first, especially if this was his son’s first relationship. After all, his son was his baby, his pride and joy - and if anyone dared to hurt Min Yoongi’s baby, they had another thing coming. But when Yoongi looked over at his husband who was sat across the dining table, his heart would fill with love and joy. 

“A boyfriend, hm? What’s his name? Is he nice? I’m sure you guys make a cute couple, but boys are trouble - so be careful,” he’d laugh, smiling fondly at his son. “We love you.”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Hoseok/J-Hope:

“Ahh, how exciting. Have you kissed him yet?”

“Oh my god, Dad, no! Ugh, you’re so embarrassing.”

“It’s my job as your father to embarrass you, son. So when can your Mama and I meet your prince charming?”

“Seriously? He’s not my prince charming… and I don’t want him to meet you, you’ll say something weird and he’ll run away!”

“Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t say something weird. I might already planning on bringing out your baby photos and showing him, though.”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Namjoon/Rap Monster:

Namjoon wouldn’t be surprised when his son told him he had a boyfriend. Right from when his kid first started learning about relationships, Namjoon made it clear that it was okay for him to date girls, boys (or neither) and anyone in between. 

He’d ask his son the basic questions - what his name was, what he was like, etc. After seeing his son beam while talking about his boyfriend, Namjoon wouldn’t pry any further and would get on with the rest of his day.

Originally posted by trash-for-bangtan

Jimin:

“You have a what?!” 

Jimin would spit out his water, staring at his son wide eyed.

“You promised me when you were 5 that you wouldn’t date anyone until you were 40!” Jimin would laugh, his son laughing too.

“Ah, I’m just kidding. I hope he’s a nice boy.” He’d say softly, rustling his son’s hair. 

Originally posted by minspink

Taehyung/V:

Taehyung would ask a million and one question about the “new man” in his son’s life.

“Do I know him? Is he one of your classmates? I swear, if it’s one of the kids who egged our house last Hallowee- Oh, he’s not? That’s good. I’m happy for you sweet pea! I hope he’s good to you… and I hope you’re good to him as well! Ahh, young love…”  He would rush all that out while hugging his son tightly, kissing his head.

Originally posted by kimthwriter

Jungkook:

“If he even hurts you in the slightest, I’ll beat him up.”

“Dad, you can’t beat up a kid!”

Jungkook would laugh, pulling his son in for a hug. 

“I know, I know. But this is your first relationship… I can’t help feeling protective. It’s all because I love you, kid.”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

- angus  ♡ ♡ ♡

jess-icaaa  asked:

Hi! Could you write this kind of prompt?: ‘im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they’re yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this i don’t want to go to jail’ au thank you!💗

Sure


“What the fuck?” Hades pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly just as unhappy with his statement as Nico was. Nico wasn’t unhappy, per say, just more confused. Since when did he have an ex? More specifically, one that felt the need to egg his house? As far as Nico could remember, all of his relationships had ended on amicable terms.

“What you do with your love life is of your own accord, Nico,” his father sighed, casting Nico a look that clearly told him; and I don’t wish to know it, “but when it interferes with the law, we have a problem.”

By that point, Nico was more curious with who the mystery ex-lover was that egged his house then the fact that they had done something illegal. Setting his laptop aside, Nico pulled on a pair of shoes and followed his father downstairs and to the front door. Standing in the doorway looking very much like he had just been caught doing something illegal (which he had), was none other than Will Solace, the current holder of Nico’s affection.

What the fuck?” Nico hissed for the second time, and from Hades’ pinched expression, it was clear Nico had reached his maximum amount of swears allotted in one day. Nico knew that Will Solace was a golden boy. The perfect student that got straight A’s and was always the teacher’s pet. The star of the baseball team and rather open about which team he played for (Nico wasn’t talking about baseball), he was the obvious object of many people’s admiration and adoration.

In short; Nico’s crush. Even shorter; definitely not one of Nico’s ex’s.

Why he had egged his house was completely beyond Nico. “I’m really sorry, sir, but I just-” Will looked over at Nico and Nico got completely lost in those blue eyes for a moment and almost missed the pleading look that Will was giving him. He knew he was in some deep shit, and he was asking for Nico’s help out of it.

“It’s okay, dad,” Nico stepped in, and this time, he didn’t miss the relief that washed over Will’s handsome features. “I don’t blame him. I was a jerk. I’ll make sure the house gets clean, so, no damage done. You can go back to your study.” Hades gave Nico a hard look for a moment before huffing something about “teenagers who think they’re in love” and receding inside the house, presumably to return to his work in the study.

When Hades disappeared down the doorway, Nico fixed Will with a cold glare. “Why the fuck did you egg my house and then claim to be my ex?” Will at least had the decency to look embarrassed, his cheeks flaming a dark red as he scratched the back of his neck.

“It was a dare. I didn’t think your dad was home, and I certainly didn’t know he was a cop.” Nico had to fight the instinct to roll his eyes. Who would be stupid enough to accept that dare? Who would be even stupider to make up that dare? Almost everyone knew that Nico’s father was a cop. That’s why no one ever picked on Nico, even when they wanted to.

“That makes absolutely no sense. Why would you accept it?”

“It was Percy’s idea,” oh. That made much more sense. Nico knew that Percy Jackson was a mutual friend between he and Will, but he hadn’t known how close Percy and Will actually were. “It was either that or,” Will hesitated for a moment as his blush returned full force, “or I had to man up and ask you out.”

Nico’s brain short-circuited for a moment before a single thought pushed its way out of Nico’s mouth before he could think enough to stop it. “Why didn’t you just ask me out then?”

Immediately, Will’s cheeks turned beet red as he seemed to fumble over himself. “Oh,” he stammered, as Nico’s mortification slowly rose. Had he really said that out loud? “I didn’t know you, um, do you want to go out sometime?”

Again, Nico spoke without thinking. It had worked for him the first time. “Sure, but you’re going to have to help me clean my house.”


This was a lot longer then expected, but I actually really enjoyed writing it

2

Fandom Sorting Hat

Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): SLYTHERIN

Slytheirns value cunning and ambition. Even in her earliest days as an apparently ‘mousy’ novice, Willow demonstrates a penchant for both . Remember in the very second episode, she leverages her knowledge of computers to trick Cordy into deleting a project? Under the polyester, scales have always lain.

For Willow, knowledge means power, a means to an end. There’s a reason they call it witchcraft; Willow is interested in magic predominantly for the power she creates for herself. Possibly only next to Buffy, Willow’s arc centers the most on her relationship to power. 

Futhermore, Slytherins are also fervently protective of “real” friends, to quote the Sorting Hat itself. From s4 onwards, it became a season staple for Willow to go on a rampage of some sort fueled by the loss of someone dear. 

#4???

Person A lives in a neglective home and struggles to survive every day. Person B is a runaway and is being chased by cops. Person A often runs away into a forest get away from their life. One day they see Person B at a large oak tree by themselves. They meet up at the tree every day and hang out, they soon become great friends and do a bunch of crazy shit together. (Dropping water balloons on people from the top of buildings, graffiti, egging random houses, teaching how to pickpocket, etc.) However the cops have tracked down Person B and they’re in risk of being taken away. Person A decides that they would rather spend their whole life running from the law with Person B than rotting away in house they dont even get fed in. They both run away together while stealing credit cards for food and getting fake ID’s so they wont get caught. They even poke fun at the cops chasing them with selfies they post on instagram or snapchat. When they finally have the cops of their asses they live normally and Person A thinks they made the best decision in their life when They see Person B waiting for them at the alter. 

  • Oikawa: I'm gonna egg Daichi's house. Who wants to help?
  • Kuroo: ME!!!
  • Bokuto: THAT SOUNDS FUN
  • Oikawa: Shhh! He's coming!
  • Daichi: You're not egging my fucking house you idiots
  • Sugawara: Don't cuss! That's inappropriate
  • Daichi: They want to egg my house!
  • Suga: I'm sorry honey, but you shouldn't influence the kids *looks over at the first years and back*
  • Daichi: Well I'm really sorry I'm not perfect Koushi!
  • Sugawara: Don't yell at me Sawamura!
  • Oikawa: Oh my god! We won't egg your house!!! Just stop arguing like an old married couple!
  • Daichi: Thank god
  • Sugawara: SAWAMURA DAICHI! WE ARE NOT DONE HERE!
  • Everyone but Daichi: *slowly walking away*
4

https://www.artstation.com/artwork/d44Wx

Aenar Targaryen and his dragon (Song of Ice and Fire)

Heeeey everyone!

This is the first piece of a series of Targaryens that I’m about to make. There is little to be known about their appearances or how exactly they lived. In this one I’m focusing on the beginning of their House. Aeron is the oldest house member mentioned in the books and that is how imagined the first ones of them  to be - strong, resilient, tough, with scars and bodies burned by fire. Mounting a dragon must have required a lot of hard work, therefore them being pristine and white doesn’t sit well in my vision … :>

In this piece, Aenar took dragon hunting for new eggs from and encountered a huge wild female protecting her cave. Aenar’s dragon is challending her to protect his rider, the king calms the dragon and prepares himself to face the female.

I’m planning on painting more members of House Targaryen  Dragonlords, mmm!

Hi mom! <3

anonymous asked:

There's this family I was really close to when I was little but when they found out I was a lesbian they stopped talking to us. Anyway, I just egged their house so..

throw another egg on em for me wont ya

markhyuck headcanonz

‘im egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they’re yelling at me so i told them that you were my ex and you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this i don’t want to go to jail’ a very specific headcannon if you want , I’m sorry - requested by an anon :’) <3

- ok so mark is a popular athlete, good student and all but his fiends r kinda… dumber jocks. so one time he is over one of his friend’s w the squad and they have a stupid contest over something like who can hold his head under water the longest

- and mark loses. and as a punishment he has to egg his friend’s neighbour’s house. he isnt looking forward to that tbh bc he isnt a bad person but… peer pressure

Keep reading

Stiles- Maybe We Could Both Benefit

Request-  could you write a stiles one where you guys get caught for doing something the other did so y/n egged someone’s house but stiles gets caught for it bc they were running in opposite directions and ran into the direction of the other’s “crime scene”? the ending can be up to you! thanksss :))

A/N- Promised this one forever ago, but work has been killing me and I’m writer-blocked trash. 

Your sneakers pounded on the concrete as you raced across the sidewalk, glancing over your shoulder every few seconds. The streetlights above you cast a glow over your dark hoodie, and although you were terrified of being caught, the exhilaration you felt was like a drug racing through your veins.
Maybe it was a little immature to be egging your ex-boyfriend’s car, but what else were you going to do about the fact that he had cheated on you? Yes, you were vengeful, and you had to admit that clouded your judgement. But when you stopped at the grocery store earlier that day to pick up ice-cream to mend your heartache, you saw the eggs through those glass freezer doors, and they were just too tempting to resist.
You had been so caught up in the thrill that when you smashed half the carton of eggs against his windshield, you didn’t realize his dad had been taking the trash out. By the time you noticed him, the damage was already done, leaving you with no other option than to run, still carrying the half-empty egg carton.
You ran down the street as he yelled out to you, and you turned the corner with the threat of the police being called hanging over your head. Luckily you had your hoodie on, so he didn’t recognize you, but your relief quickly ended when you saw the cop car turning around the corner.
What the hell? you thought. There was no way he could have called the police that quickly, but even though you were confused, you weren’t going to risk being seen in case they weren’t headed toward a different call.
You quickly ducked behind some azalea bushes, and sank into the dirt, hoping that your dark hoodie would provide enough cover. Twigs stabbed you through the fabric as you shifted against the bush, but you weren’t going to move until you were sure they were gone.
You waited for a few seconds, until you heard the tires of the car rolling past you. It seemed to take forever to pass, but you were able to glimpse it going steadily up the road. You calmed down a little bit as you told yourself that they might not have even gotten a call.
You glanced up the road and saw that they were far enough away now that they wouldn’t see you unless they looked back, so you slipped out of the bushes. As soon as you did, something hard and big slammed right into you, causing you to slam to the sidewalk on your back.
“Shit!” you heard a voice cry.
You blinked in the little bit of the light the streetlamp provided and sat up, but when you reached out to pat yourself and make sure you were okay, your hands came away sticky, wet, and red.
“What the hell?”
You glanced up at whoever had slammed into you, and the first thing you saw was their yolk-covered hoodie. It was then that you realized the egg carton was no longer in your hands, and the ones you hadn’t gotten a chance to throw were all over this guy’s clothes.
You weren’t too torn up about it though, because he had a can of paint and a wet brush in his hands, and you were guessing that was what was all over you. 
“Dude!” you cried.
“I am so sorry,” the guy breathed. “But, uh…it looks like you got me too.”
Your lips twitched. “Yeah. My bad.”
It was hard to tell in the dark, but you could see he had kind brown eyes, and hair cropped close to his scalp. If it wasn’t a trick of the light, he might have had some moles dotting his face too.
“Egging someone’s house?” he asked, gesturing to the broken carton.
“Car,” you corrected. “My boyfriend cheated on me.”
He nodded in appreciation. “Respect. It’s a little old school, but totally retro.”
“What about you?” you questioned. “Is this…red paint?”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “It’s all washable though, so don’t worry about your hoodie…you know Jackson Whittemore?”
You snorted. “Who doesn’t?”
The guy’s lips tilted up. “Yeah, so, he said some really shitty things to my friend Scott on the lacrosse field today, so I wrote ‘asshole’ on his porsche with this.”
“No way,” you said with a grin.
“Only problem was, Jackson likes to take late-night walks, and he came home and saw me.”
“Did he see your face?” you demanded.
He shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think it’d matter if he did. I doubt he even knows I exist.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.”
The blare of a siren suddenly hit your ears, and you whipped your head around the find the same cop car from before driving toward you. You guessed they had looped back around, and you cursed yourself for not considering that as a possibility.
“Oh shit,” Stiles said, tossing the paint-can and brush into the bushes.
“Should we run?” you demanded.
He sighed. “No, they’d just catch us.”
“I saw them pass by before, but why are they back?!”
“There’s a cul-de-sac at the end of this road,” he told you glumly.
The car whooped as it pulled to a stop beside you, and you glanced down at the red paint covering your hoodie. The other guy wasn’t much better, considering his shirt was sticky with yolk and there were eggshells on his jeans. Yeah, you definitely looked guilty.
The slam of the door caused you to jump, and you stood there nervously as an officer stepped out of the car.
“Hey, Parrish,” the boy next to you said, scratching the back of his neck.
You shot him a wide-eyed glance, but he paid no attention to you as the young deputy walked over with his arms cross. “Egging a car, Stiles?”
You swallowed, but Stiles just met your eyes and straightened up. “Well, not exa-”
“Not your best,” the deputy commented. “I’m still gonna have to radio your dad, though.”
Behind him, the passenger door opened and another officer stepped out, this time a woman. She had dark hair twisted back into a braid, and as she eyed you carefully, you saw that her nametag read Clark. “I think we found the vandal.”
“Two vandals,” Parrish corrected.
“Stiles?” Deputy Clark asked. “You were egging someone’s car?”
“I’ve been told it’s not my best.”
She sighed. “And this is the one who got Whittemore’s porsche?”
“Well, she is covered in paint,” Parrish remarked.
“Brilliant deduction work guys,” Stiles remarked dryly. “Actually, though-”
“Yes!” you blurted. “It was me. I painted over the car.”
Stiles’ head whipped toward you, wondering why you would be covering for him. He had only just run into you on the street, and splashing paint on a porsche was definitely worse than egging a Toyota.
He didn’t have time to ask you, but you didn’t think you could have given him a solid answer even if he had. You didn’t quite know yourself why you had covered for him, just that you really liked him.
“Alright guys,” Parrish announced. “Get in the car. We’re going to the station.”
“Aw, Parrish, come on,” Stiles groaned.
“Stiles, you can’t get away with everything just because your dad’s the Sheriff.”
The guy huffed, and ran a hand over his short hair. “Yeah, yeah. Story of my life.”
Parrish walked over to the car and held the door for you. At least he’s chivalrous, you thought, as you slid into the backseat. Stiles followed after you, and Clarke and Parrish got back into the car and pulled on their seatbelts.
“Your dad’s the Sheriff?” you muttered to him, once the car pulled away from the curb.
“Hey,” he said, shooting you an offended look. “I’m not a nark if that’s what you’re thinking. And apparently you aren’t either.”
You sighed. “Jackson would flay you alive if he knew it was you. You’re the Sheriff’s son. Mr. Whittemore would have a field day with that.”
Stiles pursed his lips. “True…but if you take the fall for me, I’m gonna owe you.”
“Oh yeah? Owe me what?”
“Maybe…maybe a date?”
You began to grin. “Wouldn’t that be me helping you out?”
“Well, yeah. But I think I’m a pretty cool dude, and you seem like a pretty cool girl, so, uh, maybe we could both benefit from that?”
You smiled and leaned back into the seat. “Sure, Stiles.”
He beamed. “Awesome. That’s…awesome. And, uh, by the way, what’s your name?”
“Y/n,” you told him.
“Y/n,” he repeated. “Alright then, Y/n, how much do you wanna bet that I can get Parrish to turn the lights and sirens on?”
“No,” came the firm reply from the front seat.
“Aw, come on. You know you want to!”
You sighed in content as you listened to them bicker back and forth. Maybe you should have been freaking over the fact that you were in the back of a police car, but somehow, it didn’t seem so bad. The night had started out with heartbreak and bitterness, and you hadn’t thought that would go away anytime soon. Now, sitting beside Stiles as you rode through the darkness, it seemed to be ending with the promise of a new beginning.