You’re blasting music outside a restaurant while you wait outside obviously being stood up, and I just appear and bolt the lyrics next to you outside the car
We’re at the laundry mat, and I’ve sorta accidentally been washing your clothes and only noticed when it was time to fold them. Now you’re questioning everybody in the building if they stole your clothes and I would’ve just told you by now but you’re intimidatingly hotAll of these seats in the theatre and you sit right next to me? I mean I don’t mind the company because well, I went to see this movie alone, but you could at least ask to eat my popcorn before you delve your hands in it.
I love you but don’t touch my fucking spaghetti
Originally I came here to rob you but as I saw you crying in your living room I decided against it and learned that your fiance was a lying cheating bitch. How do you take your tea?
We work at a donut shop together, and I can’t help but make clever puns about anything sweet so in return you groan. (The other workers already think we’re dating.)
Please don’t leave me at this party by myself the life guard at the pool tried to drown me and I’m p sure that the world is ending in a zombie apocalypse right now, I don’t wanna die having my brains spilled out next to a couple of drunk teenagersUm so hey one i was told by my students that you maybe wanted to get a coffee or something. And I’m wondering how exactly a linguistic educator like yourself takes your coffee.
“This barbecue sucks. I mean the cousins have been beating themselves senseless trying to fight the dog and uncle Todd puked in the punch bowl. Anyways haven’t seen you around… Oh so you’re a friend of Stacy? Well your in for a treat, come with me.” Why is this sweaty stranger holding my hand. Stacy help. Help Stacy this isn’t funny don’t wink at me