Dragon Age II

  • Me re-starting a video game :Okay I'm going to try a new class, a new character design, choose other plot points, and romance a different character!
  • Me :*chooses same class*
  • Me :*creates mirror-image character*
  • Me :*plays quests with the exact same outcome*
  • Me :*romances same companion*
  • Me :*plays game exactly the same way*
  • Me :wait what-- okay.

I’m still down for Garrett Hawke jokes in the style of Chuck Norris jokes

  • When a Blight begins, Garrett Hawke doesn’t try to survive. The darkspawn do.
  • Underneath Garrett Hawke’s beard is another beard, and underneath that beard is a fist.
  • Garrett Hawke once got bit by a poisonous spider… After three days of pain and agony… the poisonous spider died.
  • Garrett Hawke caught the Blight and made it sick.
  • Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Garrett Hawke is called Logic.
  • Garrett Hawke is so powerful he can put out a fire with a fire spell.