Don't-make-him-angry

anonymous asked:

(Anon whose daddy punished her because he was angry) what do I do? I don't want to make him angry at me again

If he came home from work angry, you did nothing. He just took it out on you because he’s stupid

  • Scene: Altair as the Beast, Malik is Beauty (very fetching in a gown...not really). Kadar as the plot device that brings Malik to Altair's castle to be prisoner forever.
  • Malik: I honestly expected you to be so much scarier what with your frighteningly bad manners.
  • Kadar: how about we not make him angry.
  • Malik: let my brother go.
  • Altair: if you take his place.
  • Malik: ...how about I kill you and then just take my brother?
  • Altair: ...
  • Kadar: ...Malik don't make him angry he has razor sharp teeth and claws like knives. I mean, you're good in a fight and all but he could take you. He's seven foot tall.
  • Malik: fine. I'll stay if you let Kadar go.
  • Altair: Fine.
  • Malik: Fine. SO I'LL JUST BE HERE IN THIS COLD, DREARY PRISON CELL BY MYSELF THEN.
  • Altair: no, you have to go to the fabulous room in my castle
  • Malik: fuck you no i don't.
  • Altair: I WILL MAKE YOU
  • Malik: I cannot believe that bastard is holding me prisoner in this lap of luxury.
  • Altair: I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW UNREASONABLE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES
  • Malik: I can't believe you won't feed me just because I find your company literally repulsive. Why the hell do you even need me here to begin with? Were you getting lonely with nothing but the furniture to watch you throw your temper tantrums?
  • Altair: STARVE FOREVER YOU ASSHOLE
  • Malik: Bitch, whatever, your furniture already likes me best.
  • (Furniture: Dude we are never, ever getting this curse broken, ever.
  • Furniture 2: I miss my arms and legs. Do you think if we drug them and lock them in a room together and they have sex it'll break the spell?
  • Furniture: ...I think if we tried they'd kill one another.)
  • Altair: Since you are OBVIOUSLY TOO BORING TO LIVE, PLEASE CHECK OUT MY LIBRARY.
  • Malik: PERHAPS I CAN READ YOU A BOOK YOU ILLITERATE ASSHOLE. OH LOOK HERE'S ONE ABOUT MANNERS THAT MIGHT BE RELEVANT TO YOUR LIFE.
  • Altair: I don't need books I can climb walls with my CLAWS.
  • Malik: I can feel myself growing stupider every day in you company.
  • Altair: SO TOMORROW YOU'LL HAVE THE IQ OF A ROCK?
  • Malik: ...I think you just insulted yourself.
  • Altair: No I didn't.
  • (Furniture: how about a song? we can just sing them into falling in love.
  • Furniture 2: no we have to put one of them in mortal danger so the other one realizes they secretly have feelings for the one in danger.
  • Furniture: ...you just want an excuse to light something on fire.)
  • Malik: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LIGHT YOURSELF ON FIRE?
  • Altair: I'm covered in fur, dickwad
  • Malik: I cannot believe my life right now. I am literally rubbing snow on your giant naked body while your fur blows smoke up my nose.
  • Altair: Well, if you'd done something besides stand there and LAUGH we wouldn't be in this situation, would we?
  • (Furniture: oh my god.
  • Furniture 2: song or drugs. these are our choices now.)
  • Malik: did you put something in my food?
  • Altair: What is happening to my penis? Why is this happening?
  • Malik: ...are you kidding me right now?
  • Altair: I GOT CURSED AT LIKE AGE 11 OKAY. IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO EXPLAIN A THING. Seriously though, it like wants to get closer to you.
  • Malik: you are a seven foot tall creature with three inch knives at the end of his fingers I don't think your mammoth dick will be getting anywhere near me.
  • Altair: but it wants you!
  • Malik: ...no.
  • (Furniture: SONG. OUR ONLY WEAPON IS SONG.
  • Furniture 2: *hums a tune*)
  • Altair: So, uh, when I got cursed the lady told me that I had to find someone to love me or I'd die at age twenty one.
  • Malik: When do you turn twenty one?
  • Altair: like tomorrow.
  • Malik: ..............................................
  • Altair: I'm only telling you because the lamps have been following me around aggressively singing about it all night.
  • Malik: at least it wasn't a feather duster with a lonely solo. What kind of love are we talking about here? Like forever or I'd do you for a night kind of love?
  • Altair: I'm not really sure. It happened pretty fast, I opened the door there was this hag and I was like ew no but she got all offended, killed my parents, took my kingdom, turned my servants into objects and abandoned me here as an eleven year old beast-child.
  • Malik: ...I did not think it was possible to feel sympathy for you but I think that's what's happening.
  • Altair: yeah, you'd think she'd be all like: look here child, there's more to life than how things look, or something. I mean I was a child. Also you're really good looking so I'm not sure what the ultimate moral of the story is.
  • Malik: *shrugs*
  • (Furniture: ok, new plan. We're going to storm the village, kidnap the brother and hold him as ransom until Malik declares his true and undying love for Altair.
  • Furniture 2: *takes all the knives* I'm ready.)
  • Altair: I...am not responsible for this.
  • Malik: I cannot believe I'm being forced into a shotgun wedding by a candelabra and a clock. OH ALTAIR THE LOVE THAT I FEEL FOR YOU IN MY HEART KNOWS NO MORTAL BOUNDS.
  • Altair: You could at least try to sound sincere.
  • Malik: whatever. get down here so I can kiss you.
  • Altair: at least I won't die without this final indignity.
  • Malik: ...*smooches Altair*
  • Altair: ...what's happening? *explodes into light, dramatically, entire castle is suddenly sparkling and pretty again, everything is awesome*
  • Malik: ...
  • Kadar: dude! kiss me!
  • Malik: what? No.
  • Kadar: you kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince with a house full of servants and an entire kingdom to obey him. Kiss me, I just want a horse and a girlfriend.
  • Malik: you are ridiculous and stupid.
  • Altair: ha! you liar. You said you didn't love me.
  • Malik: that is not what I said. I said the love that I feel for you in my heart knows no mortal bounds.
  • Altair: Yes but you were just being an asshole.
  • Malik: was I?
  • Altair: I thought?
  • Malik: maybe you shouldn't do that anymore. Now that you're man-sized and non-lethal how about we go to your room and I'll explain the whole sex thing to you.
  • Kadar: could someone untie me tho?
  • Kadar: no?
  • Kadar: that's fine.
  • Kadar: you'll come back eventually.
  • Kadar: ...won't you?
  • Kadar: MALIK!

@putsthedindick from ⟨this⟩

     Elena looked at him, her mouth hanging open in shock just a little. How the hell was she supposed to leave? Her friends were here. Mystic Falls was what she knew. Sure, she could see the allure in getting away, starting over new, maybe. Some place where no one knew who they were. But she couldn’t just up and leave behind everyone else she cared about.

     “And you think our problems won’t follow us?!” she practically yelled. She didn’t know how to make Damon happy, and she desperately wanted to. She wanted to make this work. It was a different kind of attraction than what she had had with Stefan, and maybe it was because becoming a vampire had changed her. But Damon challenged her, and she liked that. As much as arguing was a pain in the ass, at least he didn’t just give in.

     She dropped her arms to her sides. “I don’t know how else to tell you that you’re not going to lose me. You’re being paranoid.”