Hi I’m Kirsten, I am far too invested in Dan and Phil, try to write, and evidently can’t take nice selfies (sorry for all the cracked screens this causes)

nellynee  asked:

"like how for somebody hundreds of sweeps old, Karkat’s horns+short haircut look really slutty. XD" EXCUSE YOU? EXPLAIN! I mean I think I know what your getting at but why did I not know this? PLEASE EXPLAIN IN GREAT DETAIL

Anonymous said to birchbow:  You mentioned church history and culture in regards to short hair? Can you gift us with this knowledge?

Well it’s not church-related, it’s just societal in general–I looked at the crazy-long hair on all of the ancestors (even the ones with short hair had pretty crazy amounts of it) especially the highbloods, and put on my Rampant Speculation Xenosociology Goggles, and thought about the theoretical sensory function of horns in concupiscent or conciliatory spheres

Then I concluded that for the purposes of this story, the oldest trolls (the elders in the church, the Condesce) were from a more Victorian era of Alternia where wearing your hair short and showing your horns was akin to showing your ankles.  At the very least, coquetteish and risque, at the worst slutty and wanton.  Small/short horns especially come with the stereotype of being sensitive, so to old-fashioned eyes Karkat kind of looks like a pale porn-star.

Shaved heads are an entirely different thing.  A shaved head was part of the Cult of Flesh’s original ethos, to emulate the bald heads of the Messiahs Made Flesh.  Their shaved heads were a tell that led hundreds of purplebloods to the inquisition blocks.  Even after the information purge and the strict ban on any cult-related information, having a shaved head is still frowned on and on the fleet it’s supposed to bring bad juju.