“They [my parents] have Google alerts and stuff, for my name, and I tell them ‘Don’t look on the internet, people say horrible stuff, just don’t look at it’, but they can’t stop themselves. My dad called me a couple of months ago, he was like 'Oh! great news! You’re number 7 on the lesbian crushes on AfterEllen.com!’. He was really psyched!” ~ Tina Fey, 2007
Tina Fey:Good evening. We are here tonight to celebrate Don Rickles. And honestly, it’s almost like he’s here with us. We can feel his spirit in this room tonight.
Amy Poehler:Tina, he is here.
Fey:Geez. I thought that was somebody’s purse.
Poehler:Don’s work ethic is unparalleled. At 88 years old, he’s still doing standup across the country, which begs the question: Why? Are you out of money? Is that why you’re always doing casinos? Is it a gambling problem? Are you in that wheelchair because the thugs beat your knees? Blink if you need help.
Fey:You know, I remember watching Don as a little kid in the 70s, and thinking, Wow, that guy is old!
Fey:Thanks for sending one car for the both of us. Did you send Seinfeld half a car?
Poehler:I’ll always remember the first time I met Don. I went over and said, “Mr. Rickles, I’m such a huge fan.” And he said, “Sweetheart, just the check.”
Poehler:Don, I truly love you, because every time I see you, you come up to me, and you grab my arm, and you say, “How’s your divorce? Is it done yet?” It makes me feel very safe.