Do you even know how often this happens to me

  • what i say: i’M FINE
  • what i mean: i’m crying because i noticed how, in guardians of the galaxy 2, during the scene where they all find out about ego’s plans gamora tackles and holds up mantis in a chokehold and the first thing mantis manages to get out is: ‘you’re scared’ and i started to think ‘yes of course gamora is scared she’s worried and doesn’t know what’s happening’ and then i saw the next scene with gamora how horrified she looked and she was looking at her hands and saying in such a terrified tone ‘what did you do to me’ and it made me wonder how often, or even if ever, gamora acknowledged her fears, if she ever faced them head-on because she grew up under thanos; she’s the last of her race and was raised by it’s murderer and when being trained and beaten to become a weapon she’s had to suppress that part of her so much just to be where she is today, she had to become ruthless and terrifying all for the sake of being thanos’ daughter and being his weapon, she had to suppress her rage and fear and grief because if she made one false move, she was dead and as a result she never had the chance to come to terms with herself and everything she’s experienced and had to become.

Dearest Cat,

This is not the way I had imagined you waking up this morning.  This morning of mornings.

An impersonal letter left on the nightstand next to your reading glasses doesn’t ring of the chivalry and romance I had dreamed of the number of times I had imagined this.  And no, you don’t get to know how often that was.

I’ve been called away, as you will find happens with me, more often than either of us will like.

I couldn’t bear the thought of waking you.  You look so beautiful when you sleep (I’m allowed to say that now, you know).  You should do it more often.  The sunlight that I so adore has found an eternal home in your messy curls and on the soft skin of your cheek.  I watched the sun rise on your features and I haven’t looked away since.  I’m allowed to look now, maybe even to touch.  I gave myself permission to trace the little crease-mark the pillow left across the corner of your eye where it disappeared into your hairline.  I let my fingers curl in between yours like they did last night as I watched you drift off on the sofa next to me.  You may not remember me carrying you to bed, but that memory is branded on my mind. I couldn’t forget the way you tucked yourself against me.  I won’t tell you how I nearly dropped you when you brushed your nose against my neck.  I’m sitting there now, watching you sleep, writing a too-long missive and remembering the way your lips felt against mine.

As I sit here, writing to you on your own stationary, the memories of last night wash over me in waves.  I’ll never forget that moment, when the hurt and anger, frustration, pain and fear, all fell away the moment you said, “Come here, Kara.”  And I did.  I couldn’t stay mad with you wrapped in my arms, solid and warm and alive.  Or the moment I lifted you from your bed, finally unhooked from all your tubes and wires and carefully set you on the balcony, where we could enjoy the city together, as we’ve done so many times before.  The hours we talked blend together into one long moment of truth and care and promises not to promise.  But the moment that stands out most is the moment I said, “I’d like to kiss you, Cat.” and for an eternity you didn’t answer, and instead you pressed your lips to mine and I fell off the edge of the world.

I’m sorry you’re still in such pain.  I’d take it away in an instant if I had that kind of power.  My power lies elsewhere.  I long for the day when you’re stronger, when I can take you flying, in any number of thrilling ways.

So, I’ll give you one last kiss, because I can do that now, and leave the way I arrived, though infinitely lighter of spirit and mind.

Time will stand still until I can see you again.

I’m sorry I called you a dummy… and a monumental idiot… though I maintain in that moment they were not entirely inaccurate.

I have to go, but I leave my heart behind.  Guard it well.

Truly yours,

Our Day

Jughead Jones x Reader

Walking down sweet water river, holding onto Kevin’s arm, I couldn’t believe our day was finally here. After all these years of high school and college, we’ve finally came back to Riverdale with all of our friends and are getting married, just like we said we would when we were sixteen. Looking down our propped isle to see Jughead, stood there in his black suit, grey tie and to my surprise the beanie wasn’t anywhere to be seen. His raven hair was styled to perfection and my heart literally skipped a beat at the sight of him.

“Ready for this?” Kevin whispered, both of us smiling at all the guests as we walked towards Jughead. “I’ve been waiting the last 8 years for this” The smile never leaving my face, watching as Archie, Jugs best man whispered something in his ear, getting a nod in return. Finally reaching Jughead, I almost ran from Kevin, his grip on my arm stopping me.

“I’m so happy for you” Kev whispered, kissing my cheek before taking the only empty seat left. Handing Betty my flowers, I smiled at my three bridesmaids, Betty, Cheryl and Veronica. I couldn’t have been happier with how everything’s turned out.

“Where the hell is the beanie?” Finally looking back at Jughead, all our guests laughing along with me. “Right here” He winked, tapping the inside of his suit jacket pocket making me laugh.

Fred Andrews was our priest, got himself ordained online thanks to the help of Archie. Looking at our guests as Fred spoke, my heart broke a little knowing my parents refuse to be here because it’s Jughead I’m marrying but my love for him clearly wasn’t enough, neither is the fact that he makes me happy every single day.

“Y/N?” Mr Andrews voice bringing me back to reality. “Your vows?” He asked.

“I’ve been thinking for months now about what to say but when you love someone as much as I love you it’s hard to put into words for everyone else to understand” I smiled, taking both Jugheads hands in my own. “I freaking love you” I laughed, Jug shyly smiling at me. “I wake up every morning looking forward to what my day brings knowing, that even if it’s the worst day I have, you’re right there, reminding me that I’ll have a better day tomorrow, your smile and presence completely turning my day around” The tears welling in my eyes as I spoke. “How when I’m sick you’ll do anything to make me better, even cuddling with me when you know I’ll make you sick too” Gingerly caressing his cheek, the pad of my thumb running back and forth along his cheek bone. “All I know is I love you and waking up next to you, falling asleep next to or on you” Jughead laughing knowing that happens more often than not. “Spending half of our time together makes me feel full, full of happiness, warmth, love and lots of it” A tear sliding down my cheek, Jugheads thumb wiping it away. “I love the blue of your eyes and even when I could be telling a really  boring story you still have that sparkle in them, the smile that we rarely get to see, is shown a lot more when it’s just the two of us, which still makes my heart skip a beat and butterflies swarm my stomach. I love you Forsythe and I can’t wait for our future” I grinned, gently kissing his cheek, dabbing underneath my eyes to dry and stop my tears.

“Jughead” Archie, spoke offering him vows he had written down. “I’m good” He told his ginger friend, inhaling a big breath, running his hand through his swept back hair, exhaling taking both my hands in his once again.

“Where do I begin?” He chuckled along with our friends, especially those that have witnessed our relationship over the years. “I’m not really one for verbally speaking I would rather just put pen to paper and have someone else read my words” Awkwardly shuffling his feet as he spoke. “But I love you and I love spending all our time together. You make me undeniably happy every second of everyday, even when we argue because you’ll stand your ground, even when you’re wrong which isn’t often” All our guests laughing, a smirk on his perfect lips. “I can’t wait to start a family with you and grow old with you and retire somewhere that’s peaceful so we can both write about anything and everything. I love you and I just want to start forever right now” Both his hands on my face, his lips engulfing mine in a quick but sweet kiss.

“I Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, take you, Forsythe Pendleton Jones to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always”

“I Forsythe Pendleton Jones, take you,, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride” Fred, smiled all our guests clapping and cheering.


“Hey there Juliet” Jug grinned, taking my hands in his for our first dance. “Hey there Romeo” my smile never leaving my face. All of our wedding party joining one by one. Polly and Betty chose to dance together which was really sweet, Veronica danced with Archie and Mrs Lodge was dancing with Mr Andrews a few of our other guests slowly making their to the dance floor.

 "Today couldn’t have been any better" Kissing his cheek. “Thank you for turning up” I joked. “Thank you for agreeing to marry me and saying I do” Smirking, just as he spun me around, shrieking as I never expected it.

As the night went on, we drank, we danced, we laughed, we most definitely cried but mostly we enjoyed our night with our friends and family. “I’m sorry your parents refused to be here” Jug apologised handing me another glass of champagne. We still had the speeches to go through and the cutting of the cake which thanks again to Veronica, was flown in from New York.

My parents never approved of mine and Jugheads relationship but he’s the man I love and nothing that anyone could say or do would change how I feel about him. “We’re with our family right now and that’s all that matters to me” Gently kissing his plump lips, our guests cheering and whistling. “I’m sorry your family couldn’t make it either” It broke my heart that Jughead was still trying after all these years to get his family back together. “This is our day and I would do it all over again with or without our families here” He smiled, squeezing my hand in reassurance.

“I love you Jughead Jones” Pecking his lips one last time. “I love you too Y/N Jones” Taking my hand in his, leading us back to the dance floor.

Feel Me: short story

Pairings: Bucky x (enhanced) reader

Warnings: smut, swearing, anxiety, fluff

After living in New York for little over two years, you had a steady job at a lunchroom. It wasn’t all that glamorous, but you enjoyed it.

The second week in working your new job, in a new city, in a new country even, a man walked through the door just as you opened up shop. He seemed shy and timid, and waited with patience until you finished locking down the doors so they wouldn’t slam shut.

‘Good Morning’ you said with a smile, as you noticed that he still wouldn’t look at you as you spoke. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, he was nervous.

Keep reading

I miss her [Part 15/...]

Originally posted by bovaria

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Words: 1123
Warning: reader is crying. Bucky is a caring bf!

Summary: Bucky and [Y/N] found themselves in the 21st century, the only problem - [Y/N] doesn’t know that Bucky is still alive and that he tries to find a way to get back into her life.


Two weeks later.

It’s been tough for [Y/N]. When she found out that she was a former assassin, the world began to stop turning. Nothing made sense anymore but Bucky was there to help her. To ease the pain [Y/N] felt when she thought about all the people she killed many years ago. The others were trying to make everything as comfortable as they could. First Tony suggested [Y/N] should stay at home when the other would go on missions but she insisted to go with them even though Bucky didn’t like the idea. He wanted [Y/N] to be safe so nothing would happen to her.

There were people looking for them. Some who wanted them dead or wanted to control them like HYDRA did once. Nemesis knew that the Winter Soldier and Silver could kill the Avengers. At least they thought so.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to go on a mission?” Bucky followed [Y/N] through the bedroom like a lost puppy when she was looking for her gear. Normally [Y/N] wore a suit similar to Natasha’s but it was navy blue. A holster was strapped to her thigh where she plugged her knife in. On her hips she normally wore a belt with two of her guns strapped to it.

“Yes, I think it is but I also know that you don’t like this idea” [Y/N] turned around to Bucky who looked down at her and pouted “Honey, you should stay here. With me. I know you don’t think so but…I don’t think you’re ready to go on a mission. What if these Nemesis guys are waiting for you? Anything could happen and I don’t want you to get kidnap or worse, doll”

“Then come with us and protect me if you’re afraid that something could happen to me” [Y/N] smiled softly and put her hands in the front pocket of his hoodie.

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes as he rested his forehead on hers “Oh doll, you’re killing me. Fine, I’ll go with you. Just let me get my gear and then we go down to the others. Come on”

He gave [Y/N] a quick peck on the lips and smiled before Bucky went to their wardrobe where they kept their gear. It took them less then ten minutes to get ready and so the couple took the elevator to the second floor where the others where already waiting in the common room.

“Wait, Mr and Mrs Frosty are coming with us?” Sam asked as they came in and sat down on the couch “Bucky decided to come with us because I wanted to go as well” [Y/N] smiled at the others who looked at each other. Tony scratched his neck and closed his eyes before he spoke up “[Y/N], do you think it’s-”

“A good idea? Yeah, I think it is. I had the same conversation with Bucky and he didn’t want it as well but I convinced him and now we want to go on the mission” [Y/N] folded her arms in front of her chest and gave Tony a serious look. Hardly audible the scientist sighed “When something happens, don’t get angry. We warned you two”

Pleased [Y/N] smiled and took Bucky’s hand as she stood up and pulled him with her to the jet that was waiting outside for the others. Steve gave Tony a worried look before he followed his friends outside.

“Keep an eye on them” Tony looked back to Natasha who nodded “Sure. But I think they’re old enough to protect themselves. I mean they’re a few years older than us” The assassin winked at him and left grinning.

The jet was packed with the whole team. Bruce would stay behind like always. Only when it would be to dangerous, the others would call for him. Since Sokovia, it never happened again.

Bucky watched [Y/N] as she stored her stuff next to his and sat down in one of the chairs which where on the sides of the jet. She looked up at him “Stop being so worried. Nothing will happen. And if anyone tries to step out of the line, he will get frozen”

“Frozen?” Bucky’s eyes went wide when he saw the little blue flame that came out of [Y/N]’s hand. Steve noticed his best friend’s amazement and his gaze went back to [Y/N] who smiled “You never told him? [Y/N] got those powers when Stark did experiments on her while I was frozen and you were…you know…I thought, you had already told him all that stuff”

“No I didn’t” [Y/N] mumbled and looked down in her lap when Bucky squatted down and lifted her chin with his hand “I thought we would tell each other everything. Why did you let Howard do those things to you? You could have died, sweetheart. You should be more careful with your life. There are people who care, you know? Even if you don’t know that”

“But you weren’t there. And neither was Steve. You left me alone. Do you know how often I laid in my bed and wished that I was dead so I could be with you. I went through every possible scenario in my head and thought about what could have happened. They only told me that you were killed while you were on a mission but no one ever told me what happened. If you got killed by someone or were dead because of an accident…They said nothing, Bucky” Tears were streaming down her cheeks when she told him about her old life. How painful it was.

The rest of the team backed away so the couple could have some privacy even though the jet wasn’t that huge.

“I’m sorry” Bucky closed his eyes before he pulled her in for a hug and held her close to his chest while he whispered to her softly “I never wanted to leave you, doll. You were my only reason to come back home. And now we got another chance and we should be careful so we don’t lose each other again. So please, promise me that you will stay by my side on the whole mission, no matter what. Can you do this for me?”

He noticed how [Y/N] nodded and smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead “I love you so much, doll. I will never let you go. We belong together, right?”

“You won’t get rid of me, believe me, honey” [Y/N] smiled when she pulled away and wiped her tears from her cheeks. He chuckled “Good because I still need this girl here”

The pain was forgotten for these few minutes but the whole team didn’t know what was waiting for them.

Some feedback please!

Taglist: @spnimpalaimagines @caitlynmcneill @smol-flower-kiddo @leinastone @gingerbatchwife @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @alltheprettyroyals @darksideoftheilluminati @marrvelle @prostheticsoldier @they-are-not-just-stories@frxdweaslxy @littlenerdgirl16

About Himchan and Jonghyun’s situation

I just wanted to write a little something because I’m really upset about this.

So, just to remind or tell some people who still don’t know about this, Jonghyun form CNBLUE, a old friend of Himchan, in a video, told himchan “Lose weight, Lose weight!”. 

Some people (like me) are really mad about this and some other are saying “It’s a joke! They are friends!”.

Just let me get this straight: those kind of hurtful jokes are not okay, regardless of who says it. Especially in Himchan’s case! We KNOW he has a eating disorder and have been struggling with his weight for a very long time! 

Not even one month ago, Himchan was at this hospital for a stress fracture because of his sudden weight loss. And still, people didn’t learn and tells him to lose weight. What if someday he does too far? He was already hurt because of this, I don’t want to know what could happen next. I just want him to be heathly. remember Badman era? He was so thin, it’s scary. Now he is at his healthly weight and people wants him to lose more weight. Do you realize how dangerous it can be? Especially in his case where he is often dancing, practising, etc. 

I had a friend who was always moking me, saying hurtful things. As a joke of course. Those comments were even about something that I was struggling with (like wieght or skin color, etc). But does that mean I was okay with it? Does that mean it didn’t hurt me? No. I was deeply hurt by this until I had enough and cut ties with her. Best decision I have ever made. 

I just hope that his friends will stop saying that.

NCT 127 + Johnny’s Reaction to: You Being Clingy in a Cute Way

Taeil: loves when you cling onto him. it makes him feel trusted & protective. so he clings back, but only in private. he’s not a big fan of pda. however, when you pull away, he thinks he’s done something wrong or gone too far, which makes him withdraw as well …

Originally posted by honeyxxxmoon

Johnny: melts whenever you cling to him. esp since he’s a tall mofo so he jokes that it’s like a koala hugging a tree. and when you pull away, he pouts and tells you not to leave. “what fun is it being a tree with no koala hugging me?”

Originally posted by skelesuh

Taeyong: adores when you’re clingy. it makes him feel like da man. and he feels secure too. like, no matter how many negative comments are thrown at him, as long as you’re nearby to cuddle and kiss, they don’t bother him anymore. and so he feels like he’s being too clingy & he understands why you’re pulling away whenever you do. “don’t go, I love your cuddles. stay with me a little longer, please”

Originally posted by taesyong

Yuta: flashes that million watt smile whenever he notices you pull away and holds your hand a little tighter. while he might not say anything, that smile assures you that you’re not annoying, that he loves you

Originally posted by taesyong

Jaehyun: “awww, you’re so cute! why are you trying to pull away? unless you’re trying to take this into the bedroom? ;)”

taeyong, miles away, unaware of what’s happening: #triggered

Originally posted by nctinfo

Winwin: doesn’t know how to react when you you cling to him, even though he likes it. which makes you distance yourself more often since you feel like you’re bothering him. but he doesn’t want you go to pull away, so he grips onto your shirt, blushing violently. he probably won’t say anything but at the same time, he’s not letting you pull away

Originally posted by fywinwin

Mark: spends the majority of skinship with you blushing or giggling, which makes you think you’re annoying him. and so you distance yourself. but he HATES you distancing yourself. holding your hand just makes him so nervous and melt and asdfghjkl so that’s why he’s awkward.

one day he decides to just man up, to prove he loves you being clingy; by throwing his arm over your shoulder in front of his hyungs & not batting an eye at their teasing

Originally posted by sour-satang

Haechan: thinks he’s the shit whenever you cling to him. he feels so strong & macho and when you pull away, it makes him feel empty. “but I’m so cute, how can you pull away from me?”

Originally posted by taeilsboo

dear pretty boy,

I miss you. dropping you off for your flight back home broke my fucking heart. it’s hard to believe there was ever a time we hadn’t met in person. you’re my home, J, 2,000 miles away or face to face. these last three weeks have been like a dream and your absence has brutally woken me up. 

as you know, I’m quite silent and unemotional in person. I am a girl of few words. this is a letter to put all my thoughts about our first meeting into the world, since I’m better at writing than I am talking.

I remember going to the airport, and just pacing. people probably thought I was nuts, but the excitement robbed me of my ability to contain myself. I had butterflies, and the rush of emotions made my anxiety higher. I had to take Xanax two times before your arrival. I didn’t even see you. I was too busy arguing with my friend about how I didn’t care about getting in trouble for running to you. she pointed at something, and I turned and locked eyes with you for the very first time. for that split second, the only thing I could think of was “holy shit, he’s gorgeous in person”. we embraced, and you told me you loved me at least 3 times. my whole body was trembling, and I felt dizzy. nothing felt real. I will forever remember our first encounter. I wish I could relive it.

my family took us to dinner, and I was so full of anxiety that you took me outside. it was raining. alas, we had a sweet few minutes of alone time. you kissed me, and held me until I felt calm. normally I need space when I’m on the verge of a panic attack, but your presence instantly made me feel safe. we went back in and we shared tacos. it all felt so surreal. you were actually with me. my heart could stop pining for you to be next to me.  

when we got home, we sat on the couch and put on the SpongeBob Squarepants Movie. my head was spinning. I was in so much shock, J. we didn’t even watch the movie. I was pacing again. you watched me with your big dark eyes (which are, by the way, much more mesmerizing in person) and kept asking me if I was okay. when I regained some control of myself, we goofed off and you took my phone. I chased you down for it. at one point I was on top of you, and I was just kind of like “oh. this is nice”. I then asked you if you wanted to go outside with me. it was pouring rain, and that’s my favorite weather (as you know). we stood out there for a good amount of time. It was 2AM, and you looked so beautiful standing in front of me with raindrops in your hair. I don’t remember what we said, but I know my heart was bursting with love and happiness.

when we came back inside I told you I had to go to bed. my parents didn’t want us sleeping together. you suddenly became extremely sad. this is when I showed you the letter I wrote before we met. you kissed me, and asked if I could lie down with you for a few minutes. I couldn’t resist. those eyes get me every damn time.

we cuddled in your room. we talked and one thing started leading to another. the tension was high and we made love. thank god I was on birth control. that aside, everything was passionate and felt amazing. you’re so perfect. I know you complain about being too skinny, but there is seriously not a single flaw. after our scandalous behavior, we had more deep conversations. I felt no less than absolute bliss.

I soon left for bed, and saw you again the next day. this is when your mental illnesses kicked back in. your anxiety and depression. we left the double date with my friend early and went home. we laid in your bed. you started venting and crying. I cried with you and did my best to reassure you. you felt happy again, and I was content.

I want to take a moment to talk about your mental health problems. I knew a lot about your OCD before we met. you made sure to go into deep detail to aid me in understanding. however, I noticed a few things you did not tell me. over Skype, it sometimes sounded like it was echoing when you said things. in person, I realized it was you repeating what you said under your breath. sometimes you repeated things once, sometimes twice. I also noticed that when taking something out of the fridge or off the shelf, you never took the first one. always the second. you told me this is because 2 is a better number than 1. I also never realized how you only take your food out the microwave when it hits certain times, and how you count how many ice cubes go into your drinks. I’m sorry you feel that you must do these rituals. your anxiety makes you extremely tense. before meeting, you told me that whenever you close your eyes, you see vivid images of horrible things happening. you hear them every so often, too. I know it must hurt and be hard to tell the difference between reality and illness.

you told me that when you’re with me, you stop counting. you stop seeing things and hearing things. this is truly amazing to know, even though it is temporary. I want nothing more than to help you through your problems and be the one to love you through them. I’m really fucked up too. being on the autism spectrum and having selective mutism, I hadn’t said a word to my aunt and uncle for years. when we saw them, I somehow could speak and hold a conversation. you made my social anxiety vanish. it feels good to talk like a normal person. thank you.

I think we mellow each other out a lot. we make each other less insane and more sane. you balance me out in all the right ways and I feel so whole.

I believe that your soul is peaceful, loving, kind, and pure. everything just hits you so deeply. your mental illnesses turn you into a ball of worry, which is something I truly don’t think your soul is. you are gentle. you strive for everyone to be happy. you always come from a place of understanding and heart. I wish I was more like that. I’m lucky to have you help guide me into being a more sensitive human being. please remember that when you are feeling grim, it is not who you are in your core and that you are never alone. I will always be here. you’re extremely strong and can control your mind enough to be happy. I promise.

I think I’ve laughed more in our three weeks than I ever have in my whole life. the belly laughs. the kind where your stomach hurts but you still can’t stop. it felt so good, pretty boy. you’re not much of a laugher yourself but it seemed as if we were always doing it. when I was being a smart ass during sex, you told me “you’re the best person to have sex with”. it’s crazy, how comfortable we are. you and I are birds of a feather. the connection and chemistry is painfully obvious and even my mom said we’re soulmates. I’m going to miss our laughter and goofy moments.

you are my favorite person. you paid for a million ubers just to go where I wanted, bought me things I really loved, carried every bag, matched every outfit with me, got food wherever I wanted, walked to my school to pick me up, always told me to be safe when we were apart, held me whenever we slept together, asked me if I was happy/warm enough/hungry, and cried with me every time I was sad. you are so fucking good to me, and so beyond selfless. you always have been. your heart is golden and I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you. you’re my favorite person because of your caretaker nature. your ability to give kindness to everyone you meet. you always took the time to talk to the people we came across. you asked questions that specifically related to them and always acted interested. you’re truly special. not many people are as generous or as sweet as you are.

I also love how we’re completely comfortable with each other. I’m still beautiful to you with frizzy hair, morning breath, and embarrassing pjs. you’re still beautiful to me with acne ointment, messy hair, and stinky farts. I never worry about looking bad in front of you. we’ve seen each other at our worst, and still cannot find any real flaws. you’re my best friend and my partner for life. thank you for loving me despite my insanity and bad hair/face days.

you left less than a day ago, and I’m sitting here with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. even my mom cried when you got on that plane. I felt like I was abandoning you by leaving the airport. I can’t stop crying. I know you’ll be here in less than a month to see me graduate, but everything hurts. the pain is worth it, though. worth every kiss, hug, laugh, and cry. my 18th birthday is tomorrow. I’m going to spend it wishing you were still here. I didn’t get to spend your 17th birthday two months ago with you, so I guess we’re even. this is harder though. we hadn’t met then.

I love you. I’m doing my best to be positive, as the distance will be completely over in June. 6 years of being 2,000 miles away will finally be finished.

remember, you’ll never have anything to worry about. I’ll always be yours, no matter what we go through. I’m in this for the rest of my life. you make me so fucking happy, and I will always want to do the same for you. you bring out my best and love me even when I’m everything but perfect.

I’m smelling the shirt you left me, it smells like sweet rain. I adore your scent. too bad this fabric is missing the bones I’m in love with.

you are my sunshine, my pretty boy, and my goose.

see you soon.

forever yours,

your insomniac/goose

anonymous asked:

Your tags on your last post intrigued me. What's your analysis of yoonjin's relationship?

Going under a cut because I already know this is going to be a monster post……. of word vomit.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can miss Cortese please stop posting pictures of Jared in that red plaid to suggest that the photoshopped event actually happened? It's sympathetically awkward and even though I'm not exactly a G hater, it's getting too annoying

Hello, dear anon!

Oh trust me, I know how you feel. I doubt many of us believers are particularly thrilled with what she posts on her instagram. Her attempts at fixing the photoshop fiascos are embarrassing and do nothing but confirm that there was indeed something hinky about the pictures.

Still, most often I just ignore whatever the beards post on the social media. My interest only perks whenever there’s a blatant inconsistency detectable. I suggest you try the same! Whenever we make a big deal of something terribly mundane they do, we’re helping to create a hype around them.

In a way I fear that might add to the reasons the J’s to keep to their closet - the more their wives are on display, the harder they might need to keep up the imagine. But on the other hand, it might also add to the independence of these women. I don’t know which one of the theories is closer to the truth, but I don’t want to take the risk of enabling their closeted state, so I would rather not shower the wives with any kind of attention (when I can avoid it).

I think nothing we say can stop the beards from being active on social media, just like there’s nothing the hets can say that would stop me from blogging. As annoying and pretentious as it is, we just have to deal with it and focus on the positive side - the women now carry the largest chunk of the bearding while the J’s only need to pose for a picture every now and then.

Anyway, sorry for straying from the subject. I’m afraid I used your ask to write down some thoughts I’ve had as of late. I hope I responded to your question even somewhat! Have a lovely week. :)

Originally posted by seraphyde666

Bad Metaphors

Warnings: constant mentions of self-harm, depression, etc.

A/n: the title pretty much summarises the fic v well ngl 

Sometimes Dan wakes up and there are marks on his arms that he doesn’t remember putting there.

Sometimes there are words, little poems, even. They often don’t make any sense, just mad, usually drunk ramblings of a mad man falling in and out of depression faster than he can change clothes.

Other times there are drawings. Usually they’re just little pictures, drawn shakily with his left hand onto his right arm, depicting people and shapes and objects and sometimes just scribbles. Occasionally they’re more intricate, their details spanning the whole length of his arm and covering every patch of his skin with marker that he and Phil will spend hours scrubbing off in the morning.

Keep reading

Just some notes about gender stuff in the kingdom where Lock resides (as of yet unnamed) kind of for personal reference but also open to suggestions of more stuff

  • many non-human species exhibit more (or less) than two biological sexes/identities
  • it is generally well-accepted that identities beyond male and female exist in humans, albeit not that common
  • it is generally considered polite to address a new person using neutral pronouns (they/them) unless told otherwise
  • other neutral/third-gender pronouns exist in the languages of neighbouring nations, which some people have begun to adopt
  • trans people exist and are widely accepted - individual people may have particular issues and prejudices but as a whole the society is not trans-exclusionary
  • At least one of the ruling families has a transgender family member
  • there are magics available for those who wish to physically transition (although this is complicated, expensive and a little risky)
  • ‘midling’ is a common word used to describe non-binary/intersex individuals who identify and neither male or female (based on the idea of being 'in the middle’ although the definition is very loose and agender/bigender etc. people still use this term)
  • 'Sirram’ is the most common gender neutral term of address (a mix of 'Sir’ and 'Ma'am’) and again, it’s polite to address somebody as such until you know how they identify
  • Women who become knights (which does happen) can be 'Ser’ (the feminine form of Sir) or, if they prefer, 'Lady’ - Ser is also often used by NB people and even some men

this is super loose world-building at the moment, I don’t even have a name or a map yet lmao but yeah if other people have ideas/questions please let me know!! I’m really excited about creating this world and I want to do a good job

bowtiesandcheekbones  asked:

Could you possibly make a comprehensive guide on how to make friends/how to cultivate a deeper friendship with an acquaintance? Or even just how to have a conversation with someone you don't know super well. This intp is just super lost on the whole process of socialization. Please help me

Hmmm. Do I look like Dale Carnegie? 

‘Cause I’m not.

I’ve never given much thought to what I consider a rather organic process–that of making friends. It happens. And that is all.

And more often than not, for me, it doesn’t happen.

You see, I have this nasty tendency to be very passive when it comes to human relationships. I think a lot of INTPs are like this. So, we have to work against that normal mindset of just letting things slide and hope for the best. The best never comes if things are sliding downhill. Surely even we can realize this.

The problem that most INTPs face is being active. I think that’s the key for us in any friendship. Other types may have to pull back and be less forceful and give the other person space. This is rarely a problem we have.

Now, if you already know a person, then you have to be interested in them. People like knowing that you care about them. 

(Side note: Always remember that you can’t know everything about a person. You literally have no idea if you’re talking to someone who just found out he has cancer, or just lost his grandmother, or maybe is just having a terrible day because his coffee maker wasn’t working that morning. You don’t know. So always, always, treat the people around you with kindness, no matter how they treat you. The likelihood that they aren’t trying to be a jerk is high, as a matter of fact.)

So, starting a conversation with, “Hey, how’s life?” often works. Also, if you’ve done this and are coming back to the person later, remember what they told you about how their life is, and bring details of that up in the conversation. It will make them feel special that you remembered that much about them.

Remember, too, that you don’t have to force a conversation. A conversation, in fact, ought to be held up by both ends. If someone drops the conversation, then don’t force them to pick it up again. I feel like this shouldn’t be a problem for INTPs, who have a chronic problem with dropping conversations because we’re bored with them. You know how much you hate it when someone tries to keep on talking anyway. Don’t be like that.

Once you get comfortable talking to a person, make sure that you don’t get creepy. So, I have this tendency (so I’ve been told), of firing questions at people when I’m trying to be friendly. This is probably due to the fact that I’m so bad at small talk, and so I end up firing a verbal machine gun at people instead. This is not what we should be aspiring for, fellow INTPs. People don’t want to be interrogated. So, I have to watch myself, so that I don’t just ask people a bunch of questions about themselves. This may come across as creepy, for obvious reasons.

And keep in mind that you are interested in this person for this person’s sake. Not because you need a friend for socializing. That’s not the most positive way to look at things, because then the friendship right away becomes all about you and your needs instead of about getting to know another person. Now, having your needs met can be a happy side effect of friendship. But it shouldn’t be the main goal of it. So, get to know the person, and his likes and dislikes. Learn what sorts of things he likes to do, and then do them with him. 

Yes. Friendship means communication and spending time together. Although we may be totally comfortable with chatting with someone once a month and calling them close friends, most people don’t operate this way. They want lots of interaction. They want to hang out. They want someone who will talk to them about everything under the sun. 

And this can be amazing. You just can’t be afraid of getting to know other people. Because they’ll also ask you for help when they come to a hard place. And if you’re a good friend, you’ll have to know when it’s time to give advice and when it’s time just to give a hug. If you have gotten to know your friend, then you’ll be able to figure out these times.

This is hardly a comprehensive list, but hopefully it’s a good start. If you have some more specific examples of tough spots, I’d love to be able to help further.

At any rate, I hope this helps, and thanks for stopping by.

If there is one thing I have learned over the years, it’s that it only takes one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever, to change your perspective, color your thinking. To force you to re-evaluate everything you think you know. To make you ask yourself the toughest questions: Do you know who you are? Do you understand what has happened to you? Do you want to live this way?
—  Cristina Yang

anonymous asked:

Hey! I know you're taking a break and all that, but... could you give me some tips on starting a fanfic? I'd really appreciate it!

Of course! You can always ask me for advice, even if I am on a break ❤

So sometimes I will get caught up in starting the fanfic and don’t know how to write it. What I try to do is just start writing the scenes you know you want and go from there. More often than not you’ll figure out a beginning as you write or when you finish and are reviewing.

I like to also write out a short outline of what I want to happen and then have the fanfic follow that. It doesn’t have to follow it completely, just the parts that you like. A lot of the time I’ll think of something as I write and like it better than mg outline!

I would also start with a quote, setting, or a thought if you have one. Another good idea which is a great attention getter is to have the person feel an emotion and then explain why they have that certain feeling. It really helps for people to be hooked ^^

I can’t think of anything else, but if you have any more questions feel free to ask!

anonymous asked:

if you don't actually think the moon landing was faked then do you believe that there are aliens on the moon? buzz aldrin said he saw some alien stuff up there but he also wouldn't swear on the bible that he stepped foot on the moon so i wonder what's goin on.

on the moon: no at least no evidence anyone has ever seen

but aliens are out there for sure and i have no doubt humans have met them before.

i know y'all gonna jump on me with the “weather balloon” and “missile testing” story the government gave us but this is a UFO

this isn’t some blurry andorid phone footage but hd stuff from multiple accounts. When this happened it was even trending on twitter.

how often do you think the government does missile testing around highly populated areas?

Mr. Freezy

Reader x CalFreezy

Requested?: YES, by my Lauren aka @pengfreezy bc she needed major fluff and this is a competition between me and Kay @sdmntrxsh 

also I stayed up to post this bc I’m busy tomorrow but yeah tomorrow should be Kay’s so be on the lookout for that xx 

Warnings: none, major fluff my dudes!! also, first imagine so be warned now. I do enjoy writing, but literally only I read what I write so this is the first time I’ve broadcasted them… enjoy! 



“Are you almost ready for bed?” you were beyond tired both mentally and physically. Your day had been absolutely exhausting. Your boss was being an absolute dickhead and to top that you started your period. The joy of having cramps whilst your boss yells at you for nothing. Now at the flat your boyfriend and his roommate shared, all you wanted was to lay down and cuddle. “I want to cuddle, babe.”

“I promise I’m almost done, 15 minutes.”

“You said that last time.” You say with a mixture of a slight whine and a giggle.

You always messed with each other but this time was different. It was one of those days that you wanted to cuddle with your handsome boyfriend while having a Netflix marathon. Even though you enjoyed having him do YouTube, sometimes you would like to have a night where he isn’t going to bed later than you.

“Okay, okay. I’m coming” Cal says as he saves his progress and starts getting ready.

Praising all things glorious you smiled with glee. It was something Cal always loved to see. He only wished you smiled like that all the time. YouTube may be his job, but you were his life.

You laid your head on his chest while he rubbed your back. This was how you guys had always watched Netflix. A tradition some could say. “What’s on for tonight, babe?”

“I’m thinking maybe the Series of Unfortunate Events? I heard it was good.” You always did enjoy the books, but the movie was meh.

“Alright, that it is, princess.”

Throughout the first two episodes Cal managed to relax you by rubbing your arms and kissing your forehead every so often. It was a special talent he obtained. Always being able to make you feel better even when he didn’t know. Although, he claims he notices more than you assume he does.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I hate knowing the pain you feel somedays and I can’t do much for you.” The frown his face carried made your hear wrench. He never truly understood how much him being in your life changed you for the better.

“Callum” you grab his face “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my goddamn life! You make me feel something I thought I never could feel. You are my sunshine even when the sun has gone away. You make me feel better even when I’m Niagara Falls of Blood!”

Slowly his frown turns into a gigantic smile, “Niagara Falls of Blood?” a smirk present on his face.

“Is that all you heard you dork?” pushing his face away.

“Nah, I love you babe. Just know that I do.”

“And just know that I love you, Mr. Freezy.”

Hickey reaction 2/2: You give BTS a hickey

Here’s part 2 :) Please enjoy it well~~ I’m still laughing about Namjoon’s reaction :D I’m so sorry but I had to use the opportunity^^ Btw I dreamt about Rapmon tonight but I can’t really remember what it was about :’)

All gifs belong to their rightful creators=owners (see urls right under the gifs as always~). Please support each other and BTS well!

I’m dedicating this to @nervouspizzaman who gave me the strength to keep on writing so I could publish this tonight :* 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Jin: *facetimes you*

Him: “I had to wear a turtleneck today because I didn’t want manager hyung to see it~ I showed it off to the members, though, they’re all so jealous^^”

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Suga: *Yoongi is composing music well into the night again so you come up to the desk where he’s seated and start sucking on the skin on his neck* 

You: “[inbetween sucking on the same spot] Oppa, come to bed, please~

Him: “[rests his head against you while enjoying the feeling] I should, shouldn’t I? I’m sorry it got so late again, baby, let’s go~”

Originally posted by minsecretsoul

Rap Monster: *talking about it amongst the members*

Him: “Then she started sucking on my neck and giving me a hickey, so I wanted to give her one too and she said she wanted to have one on her inner thigh so I pushed up her skirt and started sucking on the skin there…”

Jungkook: SHOOK™  

Originally posted by reneemallen

Jimin: *Oh god I think Jimin would enjoy it so much like?!!!*

You: [sitting in Jimin’s lap and starting to suck on the skin on his neck]

Jimin: [gasps but enjoys it so much]

Jimin: [closes his eyes and starts stroking your hair and back with his sweater paws while you give him the hickey]

Originally posted by ultranicolet

Jungkook: *Kookie’s reaction would be so precious, believe me*

You: [start sucking on Kookie’s neck for the first time while making out]

Kookie: “[needs to rest a bit afterwards because it was so hot and made him so giddy] Ahhh what did you do? Haha~ What will the hyungs say? Ahhh~ Do you think it looks sexy? Does it make me look older? Like a man? [smiles broadly]”

You: “Pfft, Kookie, shut up for a moment and calm down~ You are even sweating from it, aren’t you? Here, lie down a bit~ [You stroke his cheek and smile with him because he’s so cute~~]”

Originally posted by jeontales

V: *I made yesterday’s reaction hot so I’ll make today’s innocent, feat. Jimin~~*

Him: [innocently thinks that you want to whisper something into his ear]

You: [giggle about him being so clueless and start sucking on his neck]

Him: [squirms a bit under your touch but then he relaxes and waits patiently until you are finished]

You: “[afterwards] Did you like it, Tae? Or shouldn’t I do it again?”

Him: “[nods enthusiastically] It’s weird at first but then it’s nice~ Can I try it on you, too? How do I do it?”

Originally posted by jungkooksleigh

J-Hope: *I have never had a boyfriend before so I wouldn’t even know how to give someone a hickey in the first place. If you are like me, here’s to us~* 

You: [try to give Hoseok a hickey while making out but you end up getting all awkward because it’s your first time ever trying it on someone]

Him: [while you are still trying, Hobi praises you, going all “Baby, I love you~” etc. Afterwards, he goes “I’m definitely yours now, aren’t I?” and kisses you~]

You: “I was hurting you though, wasn’t I? I’m sorry my teeth touched your neck so often, I didn’t intend to do that but it just happened”

Him: “[insert gif & he shows you how to do it properly by giving you a hickey also] You have to have soul while doing it~ Here, I’ll just show you” ^^

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Affection (Request)

I think it would be a good story if Y/N and Harry are in about a year long relationship and he wants to break up because even though he loves her, he thinks she doesn’t love him back since she’s not really showing much affection (bad past experiences).. but then she surprises him in a bar where he went to get drunk and sings And I am telling you I’m not going by Jennifer Hudson with tears falling from her eyes to prove it to him that she loves him. - annie1994

I tweaked the story a bit from the prompt. Also, trigger warning for this one as it mentions domestic violence and abuse.


Harry was having a very difficult time understanding why you wouldn’t let him touch you. It hadn’t been such a big deal in the beginning; you had told him straight out of the gate that you were a little nervous about physical contact and affection, just based on some bad past experiences. But you had also promised Harry that you would warm up to him over time and that your lack of physical affection didn’t mean that you didn’t care about him.

It had been almost six months now. Harry loved you more than he thought possible, but he spent every single day silently questioning whether or not you returned that sentiment. Sure, you told him you loved him on a regular basis, but it never went further than that. He hadn’t even had sex with you yet. That was another thing that you had been very clear about in the beginning. Harry – being the type of guy that he was – had accepted that. That’s not to say that he didn’t struggle with it at times. He was a male, he had needs, and he loved you. He wanted to be able to show you that in both a sweet affectionate way and also in a sexual way.

Harry was frustrated. He was trying to move things along naturally and gradually increase the amount he tried to be intimate with you, but you didn’t respond. He would go in for a hug and you would flinch. He would try to kiss you and you didn’t let him get away with more than a peck before pulling away. And heaven forbid he try to get a little bit cheeky; anytime he tried that he could almost see you closing him off. It was starting to cause a lot of problems and you were noticing more and more when Harry seemed to be especially huffy at you.

One night in particular, things came to head. You were trying – you really were – but you had been closed off for so long that it was taking you longer than you had anticipated. You wished that there was some way you could express it in words and it would be enough for him, but you knew that it wasn’t. It wasn’t fair to Harry and you knew that. But…you just couldn’t.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello! I just wanted to say hi and thank you because you inspire me to become more positive and I just love your blog so much and I love the way you play your game, like how you take your time. You're just really really great and I want you to know that. Maybe one day I'll summon the courage to message you but honestly I have no idea what'd I even say. Anyway keep doing amazing things:)

this made me smile which isnt something that happens often, i hope to hear from you soon <3