juventus: a masterpost™

# 7 - Juan Cuadrado (26 May 1988)

  • panita
  • happy puppy
  • prays a lot
  • always thanking god for everything
  • probably hates chelsea and conte
  • i want somebody to love me the way he loves juventus

# 9 Gonzalo Higuaìn (10 December 1987)

  • pipita
  • can score but won’t score
  • has a complicated relationship with his national team
  • they don’t like him in napoli
  • chubby boy
  • in love with paulito
  • everybody seems to like him (but nobody likes him tho)
  • his transfer to juventus left everyone shooketh to the core

# 17 -  Mario Mandžukić (21 May 1986)

  • if looks could kill he’d be a murderer
  • very aggressive
  • but he loves pugs?
  • the kind of guy you would like to have by your side in a fight
  • defender, midfielder, striker, you’ll never know

# 20 - Marko Pjaca (6 May 1995)

  • mandžukić secret son
  • croatian gem
  • scored his first goal vs FC Porto in UCL’s fourth round
  • people say he’ll become the new cristiano ronaldo
  • i say he’ll be even better than him
  • in love with marko rog from ssc napoli (and ante corić from dinamo zagreb)
  • he’ll make you wet

# 21 - Paulo Dybala (15 November 1993)

  • broadway destined drama kween
  • kween paulina / dybi the hoe
  • is extra af
  • trying to steal neymar’s men
  • scored a penalty to iker casillas and then asked him to swap their jerseys
  • la liga wants him
  • he doesn’t want la liga
  • he wants to be a juventus’ icon like del piero
  • scored two goals vs fc barcelona
  • if you tweet about him a madridista will come to you saying “COME TO MADRID PAULO
  • has been sent off during his first game with argentina nt and lionel messi defended him
  • it doesn’t matter which team you support, you gotta love his extra ass