Growing Up German
  • Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
  • Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
  • Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep
  • Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
  • Benjamin Blümchen Cake
  • Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
  • “Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”
  • “Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”
  • “Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”
  • A depressed bread called Bernd
  • Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly
  • Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
  • “My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”
  • Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
  • “cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”
  • “Space Taxi to the sky!”
  • “Now in every 7th egg!”
  • “Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”
  • Is it der, die or das Nutella?
  • Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa
  • “Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”

I haven’t seen anything about this on Tumblr but today Germany’s chancellor Angela Merkel met Donald Trump for the first time and she asked him to have a picture taken of them shaking hands and he looked the other direction and completely ignored her request, pretending she didn’t say anything at all? How fucking childish can you be to meet one of the world’s most important leaders for the first time and immediately be a stubborn asshole to them and disrespect them? (video)

I don’t know about my German mutuals, but I’m honestly super concerned about the elections this year and I really don’t get those strange “ha, we’re better than Trump, Germany is the last liberal country remaining yadda yadda yadda” posts. The latest polls show that the AfD (Germany’s right-wing party) could be the third strongest force in the Bundestag. Might seem less scary when compared to the U.S. or other European countries, but what you need to consider is that no right-wing party ever managed to be that powerful after the second world war. Actually, no other German right-wing party got even close to the success the AfD is having right now. German tumblr is acting like everything is fine…you know what made facists like Trump that successful? “Liberals” and “progressives” remaining silent about racism and right-wing assholes.