The suffering that [the Defense of Marriage Act] DOMA causes and will cause is very real and it’s cruel. DOMA hurts people who love each other and want to make a commitment to each other for life. DOMA hurts people who want to have kids and adopt kids and raise them and take care of them. DOMA hurts people who want to save up money and retire and live the rest of their lives together with some degree of comfort. DOMA hurts families.

Mr. Chairman, we need to pass this bill. And when we do pass it, straight people aren’t suddenly going to become gay. Straight people aren’t going to stop getting married. We’re going to be just fine, really.

What will happen is that millions upon millions of lesbian and gay Americans aren’t going to suffer the indignity of having their own government tell them that their marriages are no good. What will happen is that it will be easier for those people to start and to protect their families.

Sen. Al Franken at today’s hearing on the Respect For Marriage Act.

Franken sums up the very real, human issues behind DOMA so well. Video here:

I feel Neil Patrick Harris cheering is appropriate.


David and Jason
’s story, shared by The DOMA Project.

From The Advocate:

David and Jason first met in a Los Angeles restaurant seven years ago. On September 7, 2012, they were legally married in New York, but since Jason is from the United Kingdom, it is nearly impossible for him to obtain legal citizenship, because the federal Defense of Marriage Act prohibits gay and lesbian Americans from sponsoring their foreign-born spouses for citizenship. Heterosexual couples in this country are readily allowed to sponsor a spouse for full citizenship.

Since they met, David and Jason have been separated 17 times. Each time Jason is allowed to enter the country, it is only as a tourist, with a 90-day visa. Together, the couple has been through enough tearful goodbyes to last them a lifetime.

For decades, same-sex couples have been separated due to DOMA, being forced out of the U.S once their visa expires,  then laid at the mercy of their home country to approve their next visa. Many never even get that chance.

Before they were separated for the last time, Jason was hoping to file the H-1B three-year work visa. Days before their anniversary, he found out that he wasn’t approved. They still have no idea when they are going to see each other. They’ve spent nearly every anniversary apart.

This is incredibly strong and heartfelt; I couldn’t hold my tears. Make sure to not miss this and watch the video above.

Conversation with a Bigot
  • Them:Marriage should be between a man and a woman.
  • Me:Why?
  • Them:Because it's bad for the children. They need a mother and a father.
  • Me:So you're saying that single and widowed people shouldn't be allowed to adopt or keep their children?
  • Them:Well... no... but... it's bad for children to be raised in a home with same-sex parents.
  • Me:Actually, the American Academy of Pediatrics says that children raised in same-sex households fair just as well as those in opposite-sex households.
  • Them:Um... Well it's not fair for the Federal Government to dictate a Pro-Gay Agenda to the entire country.
  • Me:But it's okay for the Federal Government to dictate an anti-Gay Agenda to the entire country...
  • Them:But Same-sex Marriage will ruin the sanctity of Marriage!
  • Me:So you're all for making divorce illegal, then, since you love marriage so much?
  • Them:Well, no... but repealing DoMA will force churches to marry gay couples even though it's against their religion.
  • Me:DoMA refers to legal marriages. It has no effect on your Homophobic Religion.
  • Them:But Gay Marriage is wrong.
  • Me:According to whom?
  • Them:Jesus.
  • Me:Jesus never said anything about Homosexuality at all.
  • Them:Well the Bible then.
  • Me:That's Unconstitutional.
  • Them:The Founding Fathers didn't have gay people. They would oppose Gay Marriage.
  • Me:The Founding Fathers wouldn't approve of mixing Religion with Law.
  • Them:Well...
  • Them:...
  • Them:...
  • Them:Gay people are gross.
  • Me:There it is.
I.R.S. to Recognize All Gay Marriages, Regardless of State

All legally married same-sex couples will be recognized for federal tax purposes, regardless of whether the state where they live recognizes the marriage, the Treasury Department and the Internal Revenue Service said Thursday.

The federal rules change is one of many stemming from the landmark Supreme Court decision in June that struck down the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. That ruling found that same-sex couples were entitled to federal benefits, but left open the question of how the federal government would actually administer those benefits.

Precisely the right decision.
Tea Party Senators Introduce "€˜You'€™re Not Married Anymore"€™ Bill To Nullify Same-Sex Marriages

Sens. Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Mike Lee (R-UT) have introduced a Senate version of the “State Marriage Defense Act,” a bill that would prohibit the federal government from recognizing same-sex couples’ marriages if they live in a state that doesn’t recognize them. This “You’re Not Married Anymore” bill would mean that families would lose all their federal protections simply by crossing the border into another state.

The legislation is a workaround since the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act last year, reasoning that the federal government could not refuse to recognize legally valid marriages performed in the states. Since then, the Obama administration has been using a “place of celebration” standard, meaning that as long as a same-sex couple’s marriage was valid where it was performed, it continues to be valid for most federal purposes (like tax benefits, etc.), even if they travel or move to a state that bans same-sex marriage.

EARTH TO TED CRUZ AND MIKE LEE: Your anti-marriage equality bill will fail big. 

‘Married at First Sight’ puts marriage hypocrisy in full view

In a few short weeks, A&E Network will air the first episode of “Married at First Sight,” a show that weds complete strangers.

“'Married at First Sight,’” reads the official description, “is an extreme social experiment following six brave souls who are yearning for a life-long partnership as they agree to a provocative proposal: getting legally married the moment they first meet. … The couples will never meet or know each other until they walk down the aisle and see each other face-to-face, for the first time, when they get married.”

I love this idea. Not because it will lead to three beautiful, blissful unions. It won’t, obviously. But because it forces us to reckon with, once again, our complete and utter hypocrisy about marriage.

- Heidi Stevens’ new column

New York appeals court strikes down Defense of Marriage Act


A federal appeals court in Manhattan has become the second in the nation to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional.

The decision upholds a lower court judge who ruled that the 1996 law that defines marriage as involving a man and a woman was unconstitutional.