Defeat globalism

My favorite professor ever introduced me as an undergrad to the concept of “impossible history” - histories that can not exist, even though they happened. His example was the Haitian Revolution. The Haitian Revolution cannot exist within the logics of capitalism, imperialism, and white European dominance. Enslaved black people liberating themselves without the help of “friendly whites?” A tiny island in the Caribbean, with an army of the aforementioned former slaves, defeating multiple global superpowers? Impossible! So this cannot be allowed to have happened. Haiti must be economically victimized forever, moreso even than other former slave colonies in the Caribbean, just so that we can point to it and say “look, how sad,” so that no one gets to see Haiti’s very existence as the triumph it is. We teach extensively about the American and French revolutions, but only mention in passing the Haitian Revolution which occurred at the same time. Most college courses on Latin American history exclude Haiti even if they cover the rest of the Caribbean. The Haitian Revolution was impossible, a dangerous fantasy that just so happens to have actually happened. So it must be forgotten, the name of Haiti must be made synonymous with poverty, ignorance, and suffering, while never mentioning that those are all the products of 200 years of political and economic warfare and subterfuge against the island, beginning with the presidency of Thomas Jefferson!! Because we cannot have anyone thinking that even the most poor and downtrodden people. when united and organized around a common cause, can make history and change the world for the better

how does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower
somehow defeat a global superpower?
how do we emerge victorious from the quagmire,
leave the battlefield waving betsy ross flag higher?
YO
turns out we have a secret weapon!
an immigrant you know and love whos unafraid to step in…
hes constantly confusing, confounding the british henchmen…

EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR — !!!

Me: *takes a deep breath*

Me, yelling at full volume: HOW DOES A RAGTAG VOLUNTEER ARMY IN NEED OF A SHOWER SOMEHOW DEFEAT A GLOBAL SUPERPOWER HOW DO WE EMERGE VICTORIOUS FROM THE QUAGMIRE LEAVE THE BATTLEFIELD WAVING BESTY ROSS’S FLAG HIGHER YO TURNS OUT WE HAVE A SECRET WEAPON AN IMMIGRANT YOU KNOW AND LOVE WHO’S UNAFRAID TO STEP IN HE’S CONSTANTLY CONFUSING CONFOUNDING THE BRITISH HENCHMEN EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN LAFAYETTE IM TAKING THIS HORSE BY THE REINS MAKING RED COATS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS LAFAYETTE AND IM NEVER GONNA STOP TILL I MAKE EM DROP BURN EM UP AND SCATTER THEIR REMAINS IM LAFAYETTE WATCH ME ENGAGING EM ESCAPING EM ENRAGING EM IM LAFAYETTE I GO TO FRANCE FOR MORE FUNDS LAFAYETTE I COME BACK WITH MORE GUNS AND SHIPS AND SO THE BALANCE SHIFTS WE RENDEZVOUS WITH ROCHAMBEAU CONSOLIDATE THEIR GIFTS WE CAN END THIS WAR AT YORKTOWN CUT THEM OFF AT SEA BUT FOR THIS TO SUCCEED THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE WE NEED I KNOW HAMILTON SO HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO IN A TRENCH INGENUITIVE AND FLUENT IN FRENCH I MEAN HAMILTON SO YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO USE HIM EVENTUALLY WHAT’S HE GONNA DO ON THE BENCH I MEAN HAMILTON NO ONE HAS MORE RESILIENCE OR MATCHES MY PRACTICAL TACTICAL BRILLIANCE HAMILTON YOU WANNA FIGHT FOR YOUR LAND BACK HAMILTON I NEED MY RIGHT HAND BACK YEAH UH GET YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN BACK YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA GET YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN BACK I MEAN YOU GOTTA PUT SOME THOUGHT IN THE LETTER BUT THE SOONER THE BETTER TO GET YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN BACK ALEXANDER HAMILTON TROOPS ARE WAITING IN THE FIELDS FOR YOU IF YOU JOIN US RIGHT NOW TOGETHER WE CAN TURN THE TIDES OH ALEXANDER HAMILTON I HAVE SOLDIERS THAT WILL YIELD FOR YOU IF WE MANAGE TO GET THIS RIGHT THEY’LL SURRENDER BY EARLY LIGHT THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ALEXANDERRR

AU (technically an AU of an AU?) where in the Bad Future from TAT, Wuya and Jack are ruling the world together, just like she proposed when they first met (and all the times she said things like “…then together, we will rule the world!”)

you should read people you disagree with. i can’t believe we’re having this discussion. i spent 6 months reading Hayek and it made me a better communist. if your ideas are so weak that you can’t use them to demonstrate why people you disagree with are wrong, how can they possibly hold up when implemented in the real world, on a global scale? if you can’t defeat a theorist you’re reading to yourself, how can you defeat global capitalism? we have a world to win you fucking cowards, staying in your comfort zone serves nobody except our enemy.

if i was a showrunner i’d make the main female character in my tv show have a perfect falling-in-love-story with another female character but i’d put both characters with men throughout the series i’d never let them openly say that they were attracted to the same gender and everytime the fans would ask about their relationship i’d say “i support any interpretations of these characters that you guys might have. that’s what art is, personal interpretation.” and my actors would say that they didn’t believe that the story was going in a romantic way for the two women because as the showrunner i would never talk about their relationship in that way at table reads or as a director but then BAM at the end of the series i’d make their relationship canon and reveal a video that i had made years prior before the first season was even filmed that they were planned endgame all along and the crowd cheers heteronormativity is defeated global warming reverses itself and all diseases would be eradicated the clouds split god shakes my hand

if you aren’t even trying to build organised class power which can take control of society and defeat capitalism on the global scale then like… what do you think you’re achieving?

these people always write poems about their ~joyous communes~ and like, the reason those are allowed to exist is precisely because they pose no threat to the capitalist order, and the second they do pose a threat they’ll be bulldozed and redeveloped because they have no base of support among the working class, have never tried to build the strength of the proletariat, have never even aspired to seizing control of the world.

working people deserve better than that. your anarchist co-op is never going to make sure my nana gets a new prosthetic leg when hers wears down. we need meaningful political power for the working class and that means dreaming bigger than just a bunch of terminally feeble shared living spaces for people who have read Tiqqun.

Burr: How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower somehow defeat a global superpower?

Baron Von Steuben: I’ll tell you how

Burr: how do we emerge victorious from the quagmire, leave the battlefield waving Betsy Ross’ flag higher?

Baron Von Steuben: it’s me

Burr: yo, turns out we had a secret weapon, an immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in

Baron Von Steuben: yes my time to shine

Burr: he’s constantly confusing, confounding the British henchmen

Baron Von Steuben: yes

Burr: everybody give it up for America’s favorite fighting Frenchman

Company: LAFAYETTE!

Baron Von Steuben: fuck my life

anonymous asked:

How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower, somehow defeat a global superpower? How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire leave the battle field waving Betsy Ross's flag higher?

YO TURNS OUT WE HAD A SECRET WEAPON AN IMMIGRANT YOU KNOW AND LOVE WHOS UNAFRAID TO STEP IN

HES  CONSTANTLY CONFUSING CONFOUNDING THE BRITISH HENCHMAN

EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICAS FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN

Happy B-day America! B-day headcanons :D

America:

  • I hope all you non-Americans (me) are ready because THE RED, WHITE N’ BLUE IS COMING FOR YOU! We’re talking a 4 layered cake, more confetti than humanly possible and every five feet another flag, because ‘MURICA
  • Has the biggest party he can throw. It puts to shame the party he threw last year but that only means he’s an amazing host that knows how to update his celebrating.
  • Everyone he knows is invited, that guy in Starbucks that makes him coffee? Yes, the bartender from that one pub he snuck into? Yes. Even the King of Sweden was invited! Probably because of his awesome hats.
  • The food he has planned out is perfect, he has all things american: Deep fried everything, Bacon, barbecued veggies and meat, ice lollies. You name it and he has a in his cooler or on hold. Except Alcohol, he doesn’t want drunk nations running about and ruining his special day.
  • Don’t be surprised when a 100 man marching band opens the party, he’s got them to play all the traditional american songs and a few modern songs to show he’s up to date with the hits. He might even join the band for a song or two~
  • He has had his cake order on hold since January, he has known exactly what type of cake he wants since his last birthday, and now is the day. A quadruple layer, stripy bottom layer, starry third, criss-cross of white and red second and every state checker top layer…With sparkles
  • Well since America is…America, he’s probably got a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey thing but it’s not a donkey. It’s England and instead of a tail it’s his eyebrows.
  • Has the Hamilton musical on hold. So just picture it: everyone is having fun, wishing him a happy birthday and then “HOW DOES A RAGTAG VOLUNTEER ARMY IN NEED OF A SHOWER, SOMEHOW DEFEAT A GLOBAL SUPERPOWER?” and then America yelling “TURN UP!” (I love Hamilton way too much XD)
  • Every present he gets he rips open, even if it is fragile. He’s so happy and excited that people are here to celebrate his birthday. They might want to watch out though, we all know he’s really strong and if they give him an amazing present they will be bear hugged!
  • There’s only one rule to join his partying: You must have your face painted with something american. It can be anything, the flag, an eagle, even a small star is good enough. America decided having this flag over his entire face, never before have anyone seen such an American America! Also he’s wearing uncle sam’s outfit so… ‘MURICA!

Happy Forth of July! I hope you all have a great day!