Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what’s happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed. Sometimes the day just ends.
You know why? Cus despite the lack of patience and the harshness and the sometimes-sketch intentions, there’s this …
… purity to him.
It’s embedded deep, deep down into his very core.
It’s in the way he fights for his people. In the way he takes it solely upon himself to provide for them and keep them safe.
It’s in the way he still feels bitterness over having lost his mamá.
It’s in the way he was too ashamed to ask Magnus to help him track Camille, even after Mags has long since acknowledged her abuse and moved on.
It’s in the way he FIERCELY insists to Simon that he and his own are the fledglings family, even after Simon had betrayed him.
It’s in the way he went to Simon’s mother and assuaged her fears, so that Simon could have some peace of mind, as well, without mocking Simon for his worries.
It’s in the way he has listened enough to Simon’s ramblings to know he had a band and the details of it.
It’s in the way he tried to give a lost boy purpose by making up a high post for him out of thin air.
It’s in the way he hasn’t quite given up on himself, either, and wants his own life to have meaning and worth, so he reaches and waits decades to seize his ambitions.
It’s in in the way the cogs in his head are always turning, always planning, always paying attention.
It’s in the way his face fell in sorrow when he heard of the slaying of mundanes and children.
It’s in the way that even after having a clan of his own, with followers and allies all around the city, when he was tortured and burned and walking around blindly nearly unconscious in pain, his mind drew a complete blank as to where to go.
And then he thought ‘Magnus’.
It’s in the way he didn’t even call or text beforehand. Just a polite, humble knock on the door and an apologetic mumble through charred lips.
It’s in the way that even when a lowly, annoying, newborn fledgling starts to ramble, Raphael may grumble about it but his eyes narrow intensely and he listens on completely invested in whatever he has to say.
It’s in the way he talks slowly, smoothly, almost drawls lazily sometimes, but every word that comes out of his mouth has purpose. And every word inspires people to follow him and to abandon pointless decadence, to become more responsible, to become better.
It’s in the smirk on his face. It’s in the way he carries himself with the weight of a fifties mafioso. It’s in the way he gels his hair. It’s in the way he enjoys his suits simple and classically elegant. It’s in the way his pompous front comes not from his clothes, but from his strut and squared shoulders.
It’s in his responsibility and self-discipline. It’s in his loyalty. It’s in his piety. It’s in his devotion.
No one on earth - Shadow World or Mundane - so much as deserves the honor of saving Raphael Santiago, apart from Raphael Santiago, himself.