reasons why criminal minds should NOT have inter-team romantic relationships
  • it ruins the family dynamic of the team
  • as viewers, we don’t watch for the romance. we watch for the uniqueness of each case and the dynamic of all these characters put together as a team
  • yes, a lot of us ship inter-team romances but we are content with our headcannons and fanfics, we don’t want this show to become something its not
  • the family dynamic of all of the characters is the most important part of this show, please don’t ruin that.
  • we DON’T watch for romance
  • it ruins the family dynamic of the team
  • overall, it ruins criminal minds as a tv show.
Kiss Already!

For @emily–hotchner who requested 61 (Why don’t they just kiss already?) with Hotch.

“Why don’t they just kiss already?” You hear Garcia complain to Morgan from around the corner. “It’s so obvious that they’re in love with each other.”
“Just because we know that doesn’t mean they know that.”
“But it’s so obvious!”
“Garcia let them figure it out.”
“Who?” Rossi asks startling you, he must have come in the other door.
“Hotch and Newbie.” You bite back a groan, you hate when he calls you that. “Garcia thinks they need to get it on.”
“I did not say that!” She cries and you feel a warm body step up behind you. Vanilla, gunpowder and coffee. Hotch.
“What are you doing?” He whispers into your ear causing butterflies to flit around in your stomach.
“Spying.”
“On?”
“I’m just saying.” Garcia continues and you hold up a finger. “It’s clear that the two of them have feelings for one another but neither of them will make the first move.”
“Rossi, Morgan and Garcia.” You whisper.
“How do you know neither of them have made a move?” Rossi asks
“Anything interesting?” Hotch whispers.
“Oh yea.” You feel his chest brush up your shoulders as he steps closer.
“I think she would have told me.” Garcia scoffs.
“Not necessarily.” Rossi counters.
“Rossi, what do you know that we don’t?” Morgan asks sounding suspicious.
“Nothing. I just think that if Hotch wants to make a move he’ll make it.” You feel Hotch tense behind you.
“And why can’t Newbie?” Derek challenges.
“She’s too shy.” He’s not wrong. Your cheeks are warm with embarrassment and you can’t bring yourself to look at Hotch.
“They’re talking about us?” He mutters to you and you nod. “Hmm. What started this conversation?”
“Garcia.”
“Will you look at me?” You close your eyes for a second and take a deep breath, then turn to face him. Your eyes pop open and you’re surprised by the tender look on his face. “I’m going to kiss you.” He whispers. He presses his lips gently to yours, it’s like he doesn’t want to break you. You pull his body closer to yours and groan softly before the damn breaks and he mashes his mouth against yours desperately. Your head bumps against the wall as Hotch pins you between him and it.
“Finally!” Garcia cries and Hotch pulls away. He grins down at you and you laugh softly.
“Atta boy Aaron.” Rossi mutters as he walks past followed by Morgan whose dragging a grinning Garcia behind him.
“What are you doing for dinner?” Hotch asks.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Dinner at my place. With Jack?”
“I’d love to.”

every episode of criminal minds
  • Reid:*is injured and/or just having a hard time right now also he's probably on the floor*
  • Morgan:*worried about Reid*
  • Garcia:*worried about everyone*
  • Morgan and Garcia:*verbally doing it while they worry*
  • Prentiss:*speaking every language at once while shooting bottles off a fence from 6 miles away* *sins to win*
  • JJ:*being an actual angel she is literally floating while a choir sings heavenly in the background*
  • Hotch:*can't see because he's been trying to find his way out from under his eyebrows the entire episode* *eventually does, gets the job done, and goes home to his son*
  • Rossi:*getting in everybody else's shit so he can hear about their drama and write about it but not help*
  • Rossi:*spaghettis*
who you should fight in criminal minds
  • aaron hotchner:he killed a man with his bare fucking hands. that should be reason enough to not fucking fight aaron hotchner.
  • emily prentiss:you could fight her and you’d probably lose, but life is already fighting her and winning so please don’t fight emily prentiss. give her a hug instead, maybe get her some coffee. don’t fight her.
  • jennifer jareau:she may look smol and non-threatening, but she will fucking beat the piss out of you in about 10 seconds flat. so don’t fight jennifer jareau, unless you enjoy being round-house kicked in the face.
  • derek morgan:do not fight derek morgan because he is derek morgan.
  • spencer reid:you could fight spencer reid and win, but why would you have any reason to fight spencer reid? because he beat you in a chess tournament? or keeps rambling about doctor who? why are you trying to fight that human lemur?
  • penelope garcia:you’d definitely win the fight, but fighting her would be like whaling on a kitten so you’re going to hell if you decide to fight penelope garcia. plus morgan would come and kill you. so don’t fight garcia.
  • alex blake:why are you still considering fighting fbi agents? don't fight alex blake? she could kill you? are you ok?
  • tara lewis:she hasn't been on the team long, but it's already apparent that you Should Not Fight Her.
  • jason gideon:he is a complete asshole and you should fight him. beat his ass. he’s dead but you can still kick the shit out of his corpse, please.
  • elle greenaway:don’t fight elle unless you have a death wish honestly why is this even under consideration.
  • kate callahan:she has 3 guns. don’t fight her.
  • david rossi:he may be up there in years, but he could still fucking beat your ass and nobody would feel bad for you. don't fight david rossi.
  • Hotch:the dad, has a resting bitch face, loves everyone but will not tell them, appreciates dogs
  • Gideon:the uncle, hotch and him are referred to as dad and bro, likes pats on the back and making people feel good
  • Rossi:weird highschool teacher that is deeply involved in your life, nosey, in your business, ???
  • Elle:mean older sister, likes picking on you, will steal your fries, if someone is mean to their younger sibling they will kick the crap out of them
  • Derek:older brother, loves everyone, don't get on his wrong side, will either kill you or hug you, doesn't want anyone else to be sad
  • JJ:middle child, hair is always perfect, kinda gay, is good at keeping secrets, always smells nice
  • Penelope:family friend that just kinda is always there, everyone has a nickname, computer nerd, will beat you in any video games, hella bi
  • Spencer:little baby child, thinks he can hold is own and sometimes can, only likes hugs sometimes, obsessed with Halloween, book worm, facts
  • Emily:older sister, very chill, very angry, likes girls, looks good in all clothes, will buy you icees, contemplates by looking out windows