A few weeks ago I posted that the “truth” of what happened between Daniel and I was that we had been good friends, and were not anymore. I also began saying that the actual truth would be out soon enough. Well, here is the real truth, and I think any fans of Daniel, or even of just Adam NEED to read this.
A little over a year ago, I met Daniel at an Owl City show in Washington D.C. At the time, I was 13 years old. He came out to meet fans, and spent, in total, around 3 hours with us. More than ¾ of this time was spent talking to me. His attraction to me was quite obvious, but I chose to ignore and deny it, knowing he was 27, and knowing as a fact that he knew I was 13. About a week later, I received a message from him on facebook, very professional, just thanking me for coming to the show, saying it was nice to meet me, and referencing the fact that I had jokingly asked him to be my “best friend”. And at the end of the message, asked me to keep it to myself that he messaged me, and delete the message. I responded, promising to keep it a secret and to delete it (not actually deleting it though), and that was it. Up until about a month later, where I received a similar message, thanking me for tweeting him nice things, calling me great, and again asking me to keep it a secret. This happened about two more times, until one night, after tweeting him, I received a message, and we continued talking for a few hours. The same happened again the next night. This happened quite a few more times over the next few months, usually beginning with me messaging him first, but occasionally him starting the conversations.
I am a very insecure person, and after a while that began to show while talking to him. At one point I mentioned liking a boy who didn’t know I existed, and then Daniel did something that surprised me. He said “You’re gorgeous (for your age).” I was thrilled. I also was expecting that to never happen again, but I was quite wrong. The comments like that continued, eventually dropping the “for your age” and words like “gorgeous” or “beautiful” turned into words like “sexy” and “bomb shell”. Now at this time, I was 14, and he was pushing 28. I asked him not to say such things to me, being a Christian woman and knowing that those words were not okay to be using. Shortly after this began, I attended another Owl City show in Pittsburgh, PA. We acted as though we hadn’t been speaking, and that was that.
Things continued the same for a while, at one point conversation even dying while Daniel was seeing someone, but around late June/early July, that changed. Conversation began happening nearly every day. His compliments not stopping, and becoming more and more sexual. I at the time was still a fan, and didn’t want him to stop talking to me, so I would either joke it off, or politely ask him to stop. He didn’t. Not long after this, messages turned into video chatting, texts, and phone calls. It was rare for us not to be talking.
By this time, I was no longer a fan, and we had become friends. One night, I was having a rough time while we were talking, and he brought it up. I, after him not letting the subject die, poured everything out to him about what I was struggling with. I will not get too into detail here, keeping my business my own, but it was quite a bit for someone to be dealing with, even he said that. One problem in particular I am struggling with is something he knows two people personally who had gone through it before, one he knew at the time they were struggling with it. He was aware of how sick it makes someone, and puts them in an awful mental place, making them very vulnerable and easy to tip off. Knowing this information didn’t stop him from continuing to manipulate and lie to me.
Some common topics for him were making out and women’s bodies. The topic of kissing came up at least once in every conversation we would have, even if it were a serious conversation. Something he had always mentioned was the thought of kissing me. Sometimes he would say “you’re too young” and other times the conversation would just die. Every time he mentioned it, I would tell him no. Me being someone who had never kissed anyone before, and wanting to save it for someone special. He didn’t accept my “no” though. He never did with anything. Whether it was asking me to kiss him, take off my clothes for him, or do sexual dance moves for him. I would say no, but he wouldn’t drop it.
I soon made the decision to attend another Owl City show in Atlantic City. The topic was discussed between us multiple times, him trying to convince me to make out and be sexual with him, me saying no. At one point, I did say I would kiss him, but not go any further. At that point, he told me it wasn’t worth it, and to not even come. I got very mad at him then. Telling him he made me feel like I was nothing but a body. He tried to convince me otherwise, and said he just couldn’t control himself if I was there after we (he) had talked about it so much since our last meeting. He began trying to convince me to go again, of course be sexual as well, and offering to get us a hotel room so that no one would find us. Knowing what was legal and what was not, he claimed to not be implying sexual intercourse, just as far as he could push it without that happening.
Something Daniel does, and is very good at, is manipulating people. Somehow in the midst of all of this, he managed to change my mind. I still stood by my morals, not wanted anything sexual to happen, but wanting to see my best friend so bad that I was willing to make out with him. He pushed it as far as he could, threatening not to see me if I didn’t do what he wanted, but eventually the topic died and next thing I knew I was in Atlantic City. He called me the night before the show, saying he was feeling anxious, how he usually feels before something bad happens, and saying we shouldn’t get a hotel room. I was, of course, thinking he had been planning this the whole time, so it surprised me when he said he still wanted to see me, and possibly “smooch it up” some. We decided to walk as far down the beach as we could until we were far enough to hopefully not be seen by crew or fans.
The next morning, we met up and walked far down the beach, and eventually sat down. He kept trying to get me to sit closer and closer until I was almost on top of him. To avoid getting too into detail about that day, I will just give a quick summary. We spent the entire day wrapped in each other’s arms, and making out. I had to keep my hands covering his the entire time, just to direct them away from the places he was trying very hard to get them to. His constant attempt to lay on top of me was something I had to stop as well. I felt like the adult that day, even though I was 14 years younger than him.
After this day, I honestly never expected to hear from him again. He had gotten what he wanted from me, I thought that would be all. But no, that wasn’t enough apparently. Not 20 minutes after we said goodbye, he was texting me about how much he missed me. That continued for weeks after. He even asked if that day meant anything to me, even though we had planned for it to be no feelings attached. At this time, I knew I had feelings for him, I had for a while, so I admitted that yes, it had meant something to me, especially with it being my first kiss. To my surprise, he told me it meant something to him as well, and he said “it felt like my first as well”. When I asked him what he meant by that, he blew off the question, but that comment still left me thinking. Not long after this he admitted to having feelings for me as well.
He would do things like text me “will you go out with me?” then when I asked him if he was serious, he would back out. This happened about four times. He also didn’t stop with the sexual comments. We would spend many nights together, not even talking, just going about our lives. It felt like a relationship, and he even brought up that possibility a few times, making me say what I would like to happen in the future, even though I told him I didn’t like to, because deep down I knew nothing would. He called himself my “boyfriend” at one point as well. These were all more ways of manipulating me into thinking something might actually happen between us. Talk of him coming to visit me, or me going to visit him was constantly brought up, by him usually. He made me actually believe that we would see each other again.
Throughout our entire time talking, he always asked me to delete the messages every time we would talk. I told him I did every time, but knowing that something could happen, I never deleted one message. I still have every single message he even sent to me on facebook, skype, and via text.
One day, I noticed him liking another girl’s Instagram photos and calling her “babe”. When I brought it up to him, obviously curious and ticked off, he told me it was a girl he liked, and later that day told me it wasn’t normal for two people to talk that often, and that he needed to stop pursuing me because he was trying to be a “more godly man”. While there is no doubt in my mind he is a man trying to live for God, that was not the time, or the way to tell someone that. After this we spoke maybe once a week for about 5 minutes, then almost none at all.
I spoke to him on the phone about how bad he hurt me. Losing my best friend and the man I, finally admitted it to him and myself, was in love with, all in the same day, was not easy. I told him what he did was horrible, using and manipulating a 14 year old girl who was mentally unstable, just for some fun between girlfriends. I also asked him very nicely to stop posting pictures of his current girlfriend on Instagram, telling him that while I knew he wanted to, it wouldn’t kill him not to, but it killed me when he did. He told me, “it’s my Instagram and I’ll post what I want”. I told him of my plans then. My plan was to mail his parents copies of his messages to me, because he is sick, and needs serious help. He manipulated further, and talked me out of it, saying that I only wanted to hurt him. He decided to set a 3 month “limit” where we wouldn’t talk, then end things on a good note come February.
I have had plenty of time to think and pray about this, and I knew something needed to be done. What he did to me was not only sick and wrong, it was also illegal. It is considered “sexual misconduct with a minor”. I will not be answering asks related to this from this point on, because it is a legal situation.
After stumbling across a blog (http://neverbysight.tumblr.com/), I found other girls anonymously talking about how Daniel had flirted with them, or their friends, then just stopped, leaving them all hurt. All of these girls between the ages of 16 and 20 at the time of meeting him. He had spoken to me before about doing this to girls, and how easy it had become for him to break hearts, and about how often he did it. That is just sick to me. He should not be in a position where he can easily speak to young women, who would of course respond to him and do whatever he says online.
What if I hadn’t said no? What if I would have taken off my clothes every time he asked? What if I continued to keep it a secret like everyone else he has done this to has? What if I had slept with him when he asked? Questions I ask myself every day, and I thank God for giving me a steady head, and for the ability to say “no”.
I was still nervous to do anything though, so I kept praying for God to tell me what to do. Not even two days after this, he sent me someone. I had posted something very brief about being “friends” with him, but not being any longer, to my tumblr and my old fanpage. This girl has decided to keep her name private, but approached me and told me she thinks we have similar stories. Turns out, at the same time he was supposedly “pursuing” me, he was doing the same to her as well. He was not sexual with her, and she was a legal age, but he still caused her quite a bit of pain, of course. She was nervous to tell anyone about it, so I was still hesitant. A few days later, another girl came to me, and said the same thing. He was sexual with her though. She decided to keep her name private as well, but he was the same with her that he was with me. Manipulative, and talked her into things she never would have thought of agreeing to. Thankfully he stopped talking to her before anything physical actually could happen, but she was left very much hurt by what he did. He stopped talking to her a short amount of time before he began speaking to me.
I knew God was showing me that something needed to be done. No one has spoken out yet, and those of you who have been hurt by him need to know you’re not alone, and can share your stories. And those of you who didn’t know this was happening, need to know to stay away from him. He is mentally a sick man, and needs serious help. No one else deserves to be hurt by him. It got to a point of me physically hurting myself over the mental pain he caused me, not by breaking my heart, but by making me trust him and love him, then dropping me like I meant nothing. When this began, every ounce of doubt was gone, and I immediately went to work at this.
He admitted he had kissed another fan besides me before, while I don’t know if that was true or not that he had only kissed two in total, it shouldn’t happen again. The girl he is dating now, he met the same way he met me, and every other fan hurt by him. At a concert. What he does is sick.
I am posting this to warn others, and to let others know they can tell their stories, not to hurt him, or to try to ruin his career, or his life. I truly do love and care about him, he’s the best friend I’ve ever had, but I know he is sick, and shouldn’t be in a position where he can easily reach young women the way he does.
As a small bit of proof, here is a photo Daniel took of him and me in Atlantic City.
It is obvious in the photo that we are on a beach alone, he is lounging, he is taking the photo, and his hand is on my hip, near my backside. Obviously too cozy to be a picture with a fan.
Too many people have been hurt by him, and no more deserve to be.