Actual--Quartermaster’s 00Q rec list:

A collection of amazing works that deserve all the praise. Warnings are added to fics with major concerning aspects, however, be prepared for canon typical violence and sexual content in pretty much every fic– I mean, this is James Bond, he’d manage to get into a knife fight even in a coffee shop AU.

Quriosity by dr_girlfriend

Words: 80495  Chapters: 33/33

Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.

“Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally.” In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q’s pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond’s cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.

“You’re wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line.” The words slipped out of Bond’s mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn’t realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.

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I reread this fic at least once every few months, it’s that good. I have it saved in the pdfs on my phone for car rides and vacations. This fic stays so true to the characters, with everything from Q’s unceasing exasperation to Bond’s cheeky carelessness. The only bad thing I can say about it, is that it doesn’t follow my “Q is a Holmes brother” headcanon. Honestly, if you haven’t read this fic yet, it’s probably the one you’ve been looking for.

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Human Error by thejabberwock

Words: 86107   Chapters: 14/14

007 is the perfect assassin, an artificial intelligence with the ability to think for itself. Human emotions were never meant to be part of its programming, and Q was never meant to be anything more than its creator.

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Okay, this was so good, I had to contact the author (@bondsboffin) in the middle of it being written. I was going out of my mind. Bond is so complex and the style is just so intriguing. Honestly, this is the kind of fic that will make you roll on the floor in angst.

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Blue-Eyed Monster by Only_1_Truth

Words: 118362   Chapters: 23/23

Yes, this version of 007 was a terrifyingly smart agent, and M wondered long and often whether it had been a good idea to promote him to the position. Usually, the title was the dangerous part - being 007 meant deadliness - but this time, M feared that a certain man with ice-blue eyes and scruffy blonde hair had dragged in more danger to the title than it had previously possessed

Enter MI6’s new Quartermaster: an unassuming, bespectacled genius with no mind for subterfuge but plenty of genius behind a dry smile. Curious 00-agents and young boffins don’t always mix in predictable ways…

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This made me cry the first time I read it. Full of humorous chess games, dangerous double 0’s, and domestic (well, at least as close as possible to anyway) Bond. A wonderful Skyfall rewrite.

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Beautiful Creatures by 1MissMolly

Words: 63151  Chapters: 30/30

“You smell good,” Q’s drunk words were slurred and raspy.

“I’ve been told.” James smiled at the young man.

“Stay here, I want to snuggle.”

“What?”

“Snuggle, be my teddy bear.”

“What!? I could blackmail you for that comment.” James joked but Q was already snoring lightly. His arms still wrapped tight around James neck. The older man gave in, convincing himself it was only because Q wanted him there. James own wishes and desires were not pushing him to lay beside Benjamin. The reason he was here, he told himself over and over again, was to protect the quartermaster. His scent and angelic face had nothing to do with it. At least that what he tried to tell himself.

Bond discovers that his quartermaster is an omega, which would be fine, except someone is murdering the omegas that work for MI6.

Very slow build of coworkers to friends to something more. Working together to fight against the monsters in the dark.

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Warning: A/B/O fic. An extremely well done one at that. Despite the summary, Q can hold his own, which was awesome to read. A complex plot and amazing development, overall a great read.

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Brevity and Opulence by loveindirtytrenchcoats

Words: 7777   Chapters: 1/1

There’s no time to grab anything to defend himself with, because the first hinge on the door snaps open with a bang, and the second follows on the next hit. The door rips backwards, thrown to the floor by the same man Q had been in the ski lift with, who smiles menacingly and draws a knife from his jacket. The Quartermaster wonders how long it will take for James to realise he’s missing.

Before the henchman even gets in his first hit, Q knows it’ll be too late.

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Short and sweet, a fix-it fic for Spectre. The best fix-it fic I’ve read at that.

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The Love Song of James Bond by Fightyourdragon

Words: 103853   Chapters: 17/17

“Knowing your history, and adding to it the fact that I am not entirely unaffected by sharing a bed with you, I think it would be pointless to pretend that we are going to able to share this house for the next two weeks without fucking over every available surface.” Q smiles at the look of shock on James’ face. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting such a direct approach and Q presses on before he has a chance to recover. “However, when it happens it will happen on my terms.”

There was definitely a significant gap between the time Bond was breaking down over M’s death in the chapel to the time a confident Bond walked into Mallory’s office to accept his newest assignment. What, or more importantly, who, put him back together again? Basically, lots of porn with plot.

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Warning: BDSM. A majority of this fic is two idiots on an island, fucking and making friends with the old couple who own the local pub. It’s the most weirdly domestic thing I’ve ever read, and its beautiful.

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Bal-Chatri by Kryptaria

Words: 46402   Chapters: 14/14

Rising through the ranks at MI6 is enough to erode anyone’s ability to trust. The agents of the Double O program all take paranoia one step further, elevating it to an art form. But everyone needs one person to trust – even James Bond. Now, Q just has to figure out how to convince him of that.

Bal-Chatri: A versatile trap used to humanely catch all types of birds, including birds of prey.

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Warning: BDSM. Part of a three part series, and, honestly, it’s beautiful. Q is patient and kind, and together they work through Bond’s problems.

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Synchronicity by stereobone

Words: 7600   Chapters: 1/1

It goes on like that for months, and then Q realizes that James Bond is “hanging out” at his flat.

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Another short and sweet fic, and actually the softest thing I’ve ever read. James is just so gentle and Q treats him like he deserves. Good rainy day read.

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Return the Conquering Hero by 1MissMolly

Words: 41596  Chapters: 14/14

Bond and Trevelyan are sent in to rescue a mysterious hacker out of a corrupt prison. They don’t know who sent them in or how to get the young man out. But the longer they stay in the prison, the more Bond becomes attracted to the young hacker.

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Warning: major rape/non-con elements, but nothing truly horrid happens to our boys. Not the most satisfying ending but lovely nonetheless, one of those fics you wouldn’t mind a sequel to. Also, have I ever mentioned how much I love Alec Trevelyan being included? Because this pushes all those buttons.

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Redamancy by opalescentgold

Words: 80627   Chapters: 7/8

If you write something on your skin, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

James doesn’t quite fall in love over physics discussions and cheeky book quotes and coding and riddles inked onto his skin, but he comes close.

And then he actually meets Q.

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It’s not finished yet, I know. But, this fic is so good, I couldn’t put it down. I’m sure I read it in under two nights (that’s with a full time job and full time school). This fic highlights the true discrepancy in age between Bond and Q, and is a whole lot of angst at points, and it’s delightful.

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Distraction by Pasteles

Words: 269   Chapters: 1/1

James Bond is an impatient bastard.

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Putting this in here because my lovely @actual–007 wrote this for me, AND I OPENED IT WHILE I WAS AT CHURCH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. But, it’s lovely and so is she.

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English actors heights chart. Because Martin.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4302736/Which-actors-big-talent-small-stature.html

youtube

Daniel Craig with puppies.