• yuuri: hey yurio could you sign this restraining order
  • yurio: gladly you dumb pig
  • yurio: now I never have to see your stupid face agai-
  • yuuri: hey victor he fell for it he signed the adoption papers ahah you're grounded mister!! haha just kidding your father and I love you
vine

A really evil guy but a really good dad pt. 2

One time one of my coworkers was talking about his daughter (who was only 5-6 at the time) and how he was already worried about boys, etc. once she got older. He wasn’t one of those dads, who would quite literally hunt down a teenage boy with a shotgun over some backseat shenanigans. He was just a concerned dad.

He asked me what my dad used to do to scare all of the boys away from me, or to at least make sure they were good to me.

My answer?

Example.

My dad never once said, “Katie, if a boy hits you, make sure to bring him back here so I can make him pay.”

Instead, my kind, gentle-soul dad expressed anger and utter contempt for men who beat their wives (and vice versa), and has never in his life raised his hand against me or my mother.

My dad never once said, “Katie, don’t go out with a boy who’s rude to the waitress.”

Instead, my father has treated every single server we’ve had throughout my entire life (except the rare ones who were rude first) with respect and courtesy.

My dad never once told my brothers to get up and offer the pregnant lady their seat on the subway.

Instead he was the first one to stand up, and smiled proudly when his young sons copied him when 2 other women boarded.

My dad didn’t raise me to only make good decisions when he’s there looking over my shoulder. He showed me what to look for in a man, not by preaching at me or declaring that he was the perfect mold. But his treatment of others (esp women) is the foundation for my standards when it comes to men.

So, parents, you want to make sure all of those Bad Apples stay away? Step one is to demonstrate what a Good Apple looks like, up close and personal.

Because if you’ve taught your daughters to respect themselves enough to have high standards, there won’t be any need for you chase any Bad Apples away. Your daughter will take care of that for you.

The Signs As Suburban Dads
  • Aries: John, Age 43. 4 kids. The dad that gets really competitive in neighborhood cooking/BBQ contests. Wears a lot of polo shirts, probably a DILF. Was really wild as a teenager and his wild side still probably shows through a lot.
  • Taurus: Thomas, Age 42. 3 kids. The dad that loves to spoil his kids and take them to lots of baseball games. Treats his daughter(s) like princesses and his son(s) like royalty. Loves going to neighborhood block parties, although always tends to drink a bit too much at them. Major DILF, has all his daughter's friends swooning.
  • Gemini: Ian, Age 45. 3 kids. Loves his kids and wife more than anything, is always trying to show off for them and please them. Goes to every single one of their kids' sports games and probably has coached at least 3 baseball teams.
  • Cancer: Brian, Age 41. 2 kids. A major stay-at-home dad. Is very smart and is always helping his kids with their homework. Wears a lot of hats and enjoys golfing any chance he gets. Probably really tall.
  • Leo: Steve, Age 45. 5+ kids. The typical BBQ dad. Loves throwing house/block parties, always tends to drink way too much at these. Loves his trophy wife, probably sells weed throughout the neighborhood.
  • Virgo: Nathan, Age 46. 1 kid. Is very quiet and reserved at parties, doesn't really like to socialize much. His favorite time of the week is family game night, where he gets super competitive. Loves cooking dinner for his family, makes the best meals ever.
  • Libra: Chuck, Age 47. 2 kids. Used to always smoke cigars, recently switched to vaping since it is way more 'hip'. Loves going out at night to bars and stuff with his wife, smokes a lot of weed and probably has a twitter, snapchat, instagram, and tumblr.
  • Scorpio: Chris, Age 41. 2 kids. Makes a lot of dad jokes, wears a lot of baseball hats. Is always making business calls on his blackberry, gets super into holidays and always makes it a competition to buy the best gifts. Volunteers at the school a lot. Hates his mother-in-law.
  • Sagittarius: Mark, Age 42. 4 kids. The "cool" dad. Is always trying to keep up with the new trends, always wants to take his kids hiking and to baseball games and just outside doing stuff. Is probably super tall, eats a LOT at dinner, major DILF.
  • Capricorn: Jeff, Age 46. 3 kids. Has a strong disliking towards the neighbors, is always traveling on business trips and stuff. His favorite day of the year is 'take your kid to work' day. Bought the biggest house he could find for his family. Has a really obnoxious mom.
  • Aquarius: Michael, Age 43. 2 kids. Watches a lot of sports, is always playing golf on the weekends and in his free-time. Secret stoner, sneaks out to the porch to sneak a quick joint way more often than he probably should. The "fun" dad, gets into fights at his kids' sports games and adores his wife more than anything.
  • Pisces: Tim, Age 44. 3 kids. The hot dad. All of his daughter's friends are so obviously in love with him. Has a trophy wife, loves drinking champagne and fancy drinks. Dresses in polo shirts and khakis, works a lot but always manages to make time for his family.
  • waitress: how would you like your eggs?
  • you: um, over easy.
  • waitress: and how would you like your eggs, sir?
  • your dad: do you think you can just throw them into my mouth from across the room?
  • waitress: ?
  • you: ?
  • your dad: because I like my eggs over difficult.
9

Watch: This awesome dad set up a free hair-school for men so that dads could learn to do their daughters’ hair, too

Also paramount? Remembering what’s important: quality time with his daughter. His tagline, which he often repeats, is, “It’s about the braid; it’s about the bond.” Based on the way he speaks to other fathers, you can tell this isn’t just another low-bar dad.

Gifs: 60 Second Docs

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